The First Chaos In History

One night, Xiang Yu couldn't sleep at night. Sometimes when I woke up, I turned over and stared at the roof scorchingly. Back and forth several times, I couldn't help but say to him: "Brother Yu, go to sleep, I will have all my eyes in tomorrow. How can bloodshot see my sister-in-law?" Then he closed his eyes. But I know he is not asleep.

Xiang Yu, the king of the ages, would actually be like a hairy boy for women. If he is going to face a big battle tomorrow, he must sleep very well, just like if I go to the battlefield tomorrow, I will definitely not be able to sleep at night...

As soon as the buns left the next day, members of the "Pick-up" group gathered from all corners. Xiang Yu really had bloodshot eyes. I asked him to wrap two mung bean popsicles in a towel and put them on my ears. Unfolding the waste newspaper, waiting majesticly to give orders. His staff include: the first emperor wins the fat man and is responsible for collecting information. This will help to understand Zhang Bing's activities more comprehensively, and if necessary, he can find Liangshan heroes or others for help. The photos are first-hand information; Assassin Jing Ersha, responsible for the logistics work of the intelligence agent winning the fat man, including buying water and food when he was thirsty After climbing up a relationship with Zhang Bing, he became a good friend who talked about everything. In the end, Xiang Yu appeared as his cousin, and Master Li will accompany them to complete their first date.

The principal Xiang Yu, the main task: pick up girls. When I saw him put the popsicles on his eyes, he was hesitant to speak several times, and I could see that he was very nervous.

I took a popsicle, tore off the wrapping paper and gnawed, and said, "Brother Yu, who are you?"

Xiang Yu said inexplicably: "Xiang Yu."

I shook my head and said, "Xiang Yu is just your code name. Your real identity is the owner of a chain soup shop. You can earn 100,000 a month. You can park your car for 10 without any change.

Li Shishi explained to him: "The owner of the bun shop is easy to please girls. This kind of man with a small career is more reliable." Li Shishi said to me again, "Would you like to compile a failed marriage history?"

I thought for a while and said, "Just forget about the marriage history. I've only been involved in starting a business, and it's been delayed until today."

As we were talking, Liu Bang stumbled upstairs and sat down on the sofa, unable to even speak.

I said "Bangzi, where's the car?"

Liu Bang threw the car key on the table and grabbed the popsicle in Xiang Yu's hand. After two bites, he said weakly, "I'm exhausted."

I looked downstairs and saw the black widow beckoning and hitting a car to leave, and a Hyundai parked next to her.

I rubbed my hands excitedly and said, "Now the car is also available, Brother Yu, you really have to thank Bangzi this time. He did his best for you-Bangzi, come back to buy you two big waists to make up for you at night. "

Liu Bang said with emotion: "It's still a strong son who knows how to hurt people."

Xiang Yu unnaturally patted Liu Bang on the shoulder and said, "Thank you."

Liu Bang shook his head and said, "I know that you still hate me. Actually, I was already very satisfied after sitting halfway through the country. It was Zhang Liang's kid who gave me the idea of ​​what happened later, but I won't say this anymore. Your advice, you are good everywhere, but you can’t show your face at the critical moment, what do you rely on to pick up girls? Money and shame, I ask you, give you another chance, can you kill me at the Hongmen Banquet?"

Xiang Yu slowly said: "I won't kill you. With that lesson, I will definitely be able to bring the soldiers to defeat you openly."

Liu Bang slapped his thigh and said, "Look, you still want to pick up girls like you? I always think of myself as a hero and omnipotent. I have restrained myself. There are many things you can't do, and you can't let go of your hands and feet. , You can't do anything!" Liu Bang excitedly took a bite of the popsicle, and blew into the air, and said, "I wanted to change me at the beginning. How many **** at the Hongmen banquet you have already died? What kind of benevolence, morality, go all out. Damn it, I won the world, Xiaoji (Xiang Yu's character), I was stunned by you back then, but I only apologize for you. The common people can say that I am good, ignoring individual people and ignoring people of the world. It’s a pity that you always chose the wrong choice."

I hurriedly said, "Where is this, Bangzi, you and Cao Cao should have a common language, he just defeated an individual and won the world."

Liu Bang asked: "Cao Cao? Who did he lose?"

Master Li hurriedly interrupted and said, "Let’s talk about Big Brother Xiang first."

Liu Bang forgot about Cao Cao and said, "I mean you can't be too thin. Anyway, you don't think of me as a friend. You can say whatever I should say. Now you are chasing her. I learned a new word called'raw rice and cooked rice'..."

I said: "Girls nowadays don't talk about this one for a long time. Basically, they are cooked rice. Raw rice is especially hard to find. Of course, 80% of my sister-in-law is raw rice."

Qin Shihuang tinkered with the camera and said, "Bao Zaishe (don't talk anymore) nonsense, can't you leave?"

See, the founding emperor still has the spirit and courage to work hard.

I said: "Let's go, Brother Yu, you drive Hyundai, and other people follow me on bread, and the action of picking up girls has officially started."

Downstairs, Xiang Yu said dissatisfied: "Why don't you let me drive bread, this car is so small."

I said depressed: "The car is a symbol of a man's success. If you rode a pig into the prefectural palace, would your sister-in-law look after you even if you were brave?" He just barely gave up.

Passing through the mobile phone market, I first bought a bunch of mobile phones, and then I bought a dozen cards at the door. The card seller was shocked and said, "Does the card holders have their own fleets now?"

Li Shishi naturally knows how to learn, I will win over the fat man

I entered the number on my cell phone and told him which key to press as soon as it rings. Anyway, he can call it temporarily. I entered Zhang Bing's phone number into Xiang Yu's cell phone and said to Liu Bang, "Sit next to him for a while, teach him how to use it, and send text messages-wear seat belts."

Liu Bang took out a small dictionary and walked in the car with Xiang Yu and said: "This is a little bit complicated. First you have to learn simplified characters, then you learn to look up the dictionary, and finally you learn the comparison input method..."

I sweated and hurriedly shouted: "Bangzi, let Brother Yu drive well, and then teach it later." I didn't expect them to send text messages so complicated. It seems that behind Liu Bang's great success, there is a lot of sweat and Work hard, of course, and his high IQ that day.

To be honest, if I were a woman, I would definitely like Liu Bang more than Xiang Yu, unless it is under the special circumstances of the Eight-Nation Alliance marching into Beijing, should I get Zhang Bing to Afghanistan? In this way, Xiang Yu has a hero's chance to save the United States.

When we arrived at the gate of C, I started to clothe and reiterated: "Cousin, it's up to you today. Your first battle is not beautiful, it is directly related to the happiness of Brother Yu. You must be the best with Zhang Bing. My friend, even if she rejects you, she will try to put out as much useful information as possible."

Xiang Yu looked at Master Li very nervously, and after a long time he said, "Please!"

Master Li's eyes flowed, and he smiled and said, "Big Brother Xiang, what would you thank me for if this matter becomes an issue?"

I pushed her away and said, "I don't know how to joke, don't you see that the sweat on your brother Xiang's head can raise goldfish?"

I pulled Qin Shihuang over: "Brother Ying, follow the teacher, Zhang Bing will give you a gesture when she shows up, the rest is your business, you should take as many shots as possible, and another important point is all the boys who greet Zhang Bing. Don’t be less, especially when she laughed.” I patted Jing Ke: “Protect Brother Ying, he still owes you 300 dollars.”

Finally, I put my hands on Xiang Yu's shoulders, looked at his eyes and said, "Brother Yu, we pawns will pave the way for you to build the bridge. In the end, it's up to you. You must take Zhang Bing down."

Liu Bang said: "Your analogy is not good. He will always take the lead in fighting. I have to admire him. I want to be like him. I'm afraid I will come to you a long time ago."

I said to Xiang Yu: "If it goes well for a while, Master will lead Zhang Bing out, and you are Master’s cousin. You happened to meet your cousin, so you have a meal together. Since the cousin is still following the friend you just met. , Of course it was an invitation by the way-can you understand what I said?"

Xiang Yumune nodded. I put a large amount of money and a few cards into a wallet in front of him and said, "These are all prepared by my brother. If you go to places like Caesar Western food, remember to swipe your card. To eat hot pot, pay cash. If Zhang Bing chooses a place, of course it’s best, but girls won’t take the initiative to say where to go at this time. Find a place where you want to eat for the first time, don’t be too cautious..." Talking about it, I was also sweating.

Xiang Yu said moved: "Xiaoqiang, you will be my brother from now on."

Liu Bang interrupted and said, "Your brother is Xiang Zhuang."

I took Liu Bang again and said, "Bangzi, please enlighten Brother Yu and let him relax."

Liu Bang said to Xiang Yu, "Why don't you beat me up."

I left them in the modern car, turned around and walked two steps and then came back, and said to Xiang Yu: "You'd better buy a bunch of flowers to hide in the car. I will remind you to give it to her at the right time."

"What flowers to buy?"

"It's the first time I saw you, except for roses, you can ask the people in the flower shop, they understand, and they would give it to a woman."

After arranging all this, I almost collapsed. To be honest, just take this team out, even if you want to kill one person, you don't have to be so tired. I sat down in a corner of the small square opposite Zhang Bing’s dormitory and began to understand the situation of the various people.

Master Li has already inquired about Zhang Bing's first class from Wang Jing. She is now waiting in front of the teaching building, while thinking about ways to approach Zhang Bing. Qin Shihuang and Jing Ke were not far away from her.

At this moment I saw Zhang Bing walk out of the dormitory alone, and I immediately called Master Li: "Zhang Bing has appeared, Zhang Bing has appeared, please be prepared to wait for the rabbit."

Master Li was also made nervous by my tone: "Received." Then he laughed out loud and said, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Have you figured out a way to approach her?"

Master Li said: "I'm thinking, I'm not professional to confuse girls."

That said, Song Qing may be better than her in doing this, but I am afraid that Xiang Yu will not do it. I think the golden candidates for this matter are Gao Lishi, Wei Zhongxian, etc. By the way, how come I am even a **** now Didn't come yet? But I quickly figured it out: Which **** do you think is still reluctant to give up this identity? Of course, he was reborn as soon as he hung up.

I said, "You think about it quickly, and talk to her,'The female nunyubei Wang Falcon!'"

"She's here, I won't tell you..."

I immediately called Fatty Win: "Are you ready?"

"Okay."

"Well, even the main building of this school will be photographed in a while, maybe it will be useful."

Qin Shihuang said: "Do you want to occupy the mouth (this)?"

...

Ten minutes later, I called Shishi Li again and she was off. It seemed that the connection went smoothly. How about not answering the phone? But if Zhang Bing was in class, how did Master Li approach her? Unexpectedly, I had to give it to Qin Shihuang

This time, it took a long time for him to answer. He spoke with echoes. It should be when I asked him how he was doing. He said, "A group of girls dance."

"Where is the teacher?"

"Dancing with them."

No wonder, dancing, this is in Master Li's hands. A person who can perform sword dance with a leather belt, Zhang Bing and his dance teachers are not the same, but in what capacity did she enter? If I hadn't been exposed in front of Zhang Bing and couldn't show up, I would really like to find out.

After a long wait, Li Shishi suddenly called me, and she hurriedly said to me: "Cousin, I called you on the excuse of going to the bathroom. I have officially met Zhang Bing. I asked her to show me around. Take a look at her campus, and she agreed to have dinner with me at noon. You ask Brother Xiang to prepare at the school gate, and we should see him as soon as we go out in a while."

After I hung up the phone, I immediately asked Xiang Yu about the situation. Liu Bang said that his "talk therapy" had already worked, and Xiang Yu felt like he was dead now. I asked them if they had bought the flowers, and Liu Bang said that Xiang Yu had already bought them.

Things are going very smoothly. I can take this opportunity to allow Qin Shihuang to give full play to his role and unearth as many of Xiang Yu’s love rivals during the campus visit. Anyone who strikes up a conversation with Zhang Bing will be photographed. Zhang Bing has laughed. , I took two shots, if I talked and laughed with Zhang Bing and stayed for a certain amount of time, they are all key targets.

I was out of mind for a while and received a harassing call from Master Li, which showed that they were almost at the school gate.

I ran towards the door and called Xiang Yu. I said solemnly: "Brother Yu, enter the first level of combat readiness, and my sister-in-law will show up immediately. Remember not to be nervous. You met your cousin by chance and met your sister-in-law. To be understated, to lift the weight lightly..."

Xiang Yu suddenly said in a vibrato uncontrollably: "What should I say to her in the first sentence?" 93b30

"...Just say ‘hello’."

"Hello...what about the second sentence?" Xiang Yu said anxiously.

"...Introduce yourself, just say you are Wang Yuannan's cousin."

"Who is Wang Yuannan?"

"...Wang Yuannan is the teacher, brother Yu, have we already said the details long ago?"

"What about the third sentence, what should I say in the third sentence?"

"Damn! Are you picking up girls or me?"

"I rely on... the fourth sentence and the fourth sentence?"

I'm completely speechless, Xiang Yu, Xiang Yu, it's so inferior to picking up girls.

At this time, I saw Li Shishi and Zhang Bing had reached the school gate, and the car parked on the opposite side of the road could already be far away.

I yelled on the phone: "Brother Yu, W! Get out and get out of the car!"

But no matter what I called, the Hyundai car on the opposite side didn't move. Shishi Li looked very confused, but she stood calmly at the door and pointed, pretending to be discussing something with Zhang Bing to delay time.

I yelled into a rage, Xiang Yu didn't speak or speak, let alone get out of the car.

I hung up the call, got through Liu Bang, and shouted, "Bangzi, what's the matter?"

Liu Bang said, "If he doesn't go out, what can I do?"

"Push him out!"

Liu Bang: "Try it!"

I sighed: "The vertical is not conspiring!"

This is the end of the matter, and the general situation is over. I sent a text message to Master Li and asked her to eat with Zhang Bing. After all, she had already inserted this move.

I brought Qin Shihuang and Jing Ke to Xiang Yu aggressively, and asked him: "What's the matter with you? Let's stand up in front of the filming of "Assembly," but you slipped away quietly."

Xiang Yu buried his head in silence, and after a long time he said weakly, "I'm sorry."

I can't talk about him anymore. I looked in the back seat of the car and found a bunch of flowers~www.wuxiaspot.com~ I hugged it up and smelled it, and said, "You bought this?"

"Yeah." Xiang Yu snorted lightly.

"Hey, why does this flower look so familiar-carnation?! This is for mom, how did you tell the flower shop owner?"

Xiang Yu still buried his head, and said, "I told him that I would give it to the most beloved woman, and I told him not to give it to Wengui. He took this for me."

I said: "Your language is very poetic, and the most beloved woman, if you say you don't want a rose, he must think you are for your mother."

Xiang Yu said: "Throw it away."

I stepped away from his hand, rolled my eyes and said, "This can be given to Baozi's mother."

I saw that my morale was low because of Xiang Yu's escape, so I raised my arms and shouted: "Brothers, follow my brothers to Baozi's house to propose marriage in the afternoon!"

Sure enough, they were all energetic and asked: "Really?"

I looked up to the sky and smiled: "Let you see that I was a girl!"