Looking for a woman named Xiaoyao

4. Journey to Sertar

After I came back from Jiadu meditation, I still consulted during the day, and at night I started to write my les novel titled "Looking for a Woman Named Xiaoyao". This story is basically based on the story of me and Xiaoyao. .When things are hard to get rid of, words are a good way to talk.

I can't be called an excellent psychological counselor. In the days when there is no little demon, my heart is full of weeds. The direct result is that I make frequent mistakes in the consultation process, and I often can't focus on the obedience of the client.

On that day, there was a light rain in the afternoon, and the windows were opened, and the air was mixed with the scent of green grass.The visitor was a white-collar worker in his 20s, with exquisite makeup on his face, wearing a black professional suit, and carrying an LV bag. His face was full of resentment that I wanted to seek justice from this unfair world. with resentment.

Can I help you?

The white-collar worker was obviously very emotional, and said how her boyfriend had an affair, and if he cheated, she was finally caught on the spot.The white-collar workers keep talking, keep talking, keep talking, faster and faster, faster and faster, those angry words are like dense bullets shooting at me, and I can still hear the content clearly from the beginning In the end, I only saw the mouth of the white-collar worker opening and closing, but no sound was heard.The white-collar worker kept talking about his veins popping up and his eardrums bulging.When it came to the emotional part, she got up and kept walking back and forth in front of me, as if words could no longer express her pain, she needed actions to release it.

In the end, the white-collar worker seemed to be unable to speak anymore, so he sat down again, and then burst into tears, crying until his whole body convulsed, as if he was about to empty out all the energy in his body. I felt that the white-collar worker would at least lie in bed after going back. It takes three days to recover.

As a consultant, I have witnessed too much love and hatred, the grief of life and death. Those visitors may look the same as ordinary people in bright clothes during the day, but behind no one's back, the wounds are dripping with blood unfolded before my eyes.

After a long time, the white-collar said: Without him, my world has collapsed, and I don't know how to continue living?

Later, I never listened to what the white-collar worker said.I thought of Xiao Yao, without Xiao Yao, my world seemed to collapse.

The white-collar finally asked me: Should I stay or leave?

I woke up suddenly, ah, what did you say?

Have you ever heard the talk?Do you have?

I said, "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well today. If you like, you can come back for another day for consultation."

The white-collar worker got up and left angrily, and the door slammed loudly.

Seeing that I have a sleepy look every day, Caiwei always encourages me to ask what happened. She said: Ruoru, don't worry about it anymore.If you really can't let go, just go and confess, maybe things will take a new turn?But for the little demon's indifferent attitude towards me afterwards, my self-esteem made me unable to bow my head, and I didn't want to make fun of myself in the reply I received after half a day.

When I miss Xiao Yao, I will play the song "Ten Miles of Spring Breeze" that she recorded in the singing bar.Although Xiao Yao's voice is not very pleasant to the ear, he can hear the emotion conveyed in the song.I know this is drinking poison to quench thirst, but I can't control myself.

My state during this period is not suitable for consulting any visitors. My body has accumulated too much negative energy. Day after day, mold grows in the folds of the dark night and adheres to my body.

I remembered that during the time before meditation, a student asked me: Do you like yourself now?

I'm confused by this question?I asked myself in my heart, do I like myself?The answer is of course no.I like the self I used to be, the positive, healthy and sunny self, instead of being in a trance all day because of love, like a walking dead under the warm spring sun.

If you miss someone too much, it is a good choice to find a place to travel, meet some new friends, and get in touch with some new things.I have always done things swiftly and swiftly. I like a trip that can be said and done. From decision to departure, I only spent one day.

Seda, red prayer flags, red wooden houses, and red sleeves converge into a vast red ocean.This is a world without the hustle and bustle of the world, and it is a pure land deep in the soul of pilgrims.This place is located in Ganzi Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture, Sichuan, and it has been recommended as one of the top ten must-see places in China, which has always made me yearn for it.In the choice of travel destination this time, the first thing I thought of was Seda.

The biggest advantage of being a consultant is that I don’t have to be restricted by working hours. I can flexibly arrange my working hours and use appropriate time to travel and heal.

Above western Sichuan, the pure land of Buddhism.Walking in Sertar, I saw people wearing red monk robes coming and going. Everyone’s face was full of kindness and peace. Although I have no religious beliefs, I can still feel the power of purifying the soul when I am in Sertar .

The most memorable thing is the starry sky of Sertar. Because we are on the plateau, the starry sky of Sertar is different from what we usually see. The night is low, and it seems that as long as we put up the ladder, we can pick up the stars.

Thinking of the time when she was chatting with Xiao Yao, she said that she was camping in the wild with her ex-girlfriend, and when talking about the starry sky that night, she still couldn't hide her excitement and excitement.At that moment, I was jealous of her ex-girlfriend.

Xiao Yao told me that she and her ex-girlfriend were classmates in the art school, and they were each other's first love.She said that her girlfriend likes to wear lotus-colored dresses, has waist-length hair, and the most special thing is that she has a mole on her palm.

I once tested Xiao Yao jokingly, if there is a chance, is there any possibility for you to get back together?

The little demon replied to me: "Don't be lenient, it's the best ending for us to be happy."

During the half a month in Seda, like a fish disappearing into the deep sea, a little demon would occasionally pop out a few strings of bubbles, asking me when the novel would be updated, and simply greeting me about the current situation.The seemingly friendly greetings once again set off waves of waves in my gradually subdued heart.

But Xiao Yao's words are not as enthusiastic as before. I feel that Xiao Yao's life seems to have undergone some changes during this time, and her words are always so restrained.I couldn't figure out her thoughts, there was always a layer of veil between us, I wanted to wait for the right time, stretch out my hand to lift the veil, and see the truth of the matter clearly.

When my thoughts are complicated, I like to ride a horse on the Golden Horse Grassland, [-] kilometers away from the seminary, to let myself go.

The transportation to the Jinma Grassland is convenient, along the Sequ River, on both sides of the river, there are lush pastures, grass ditches full of wild flowers of various colors, and rolling ridges, extending east-west.

Caiwei knew that I was going to ride a horse alone, so she didn't feel at ease. The other end of the phone advised me not to ride a horse alone. In case something goes wrong, it is not a joke.

I said: Don't worry, I can't die, the scenery here is so beautiful, I haven't seen enough.Then he stepped on a brown-black steed, held the rein in his hand, kicked his feet, and let his long hair flutter in the wind, and the heavy-laden body gained freedom while galloping on the horse's back.

The sound of the wind whizzed past my ears, and the boundless grassland was silent and empty, grazing my sadness.

Traveling is just temporarily forgetting the sadness, but it doesn't let me let go of this relationship.After returning from Seda, life returned to its original state.

What Zhang Xiaoxian said: If you want to forget a relationship, there is always only one way: time and new love.If time and a new love can't make you forget a relationship, there is only one reason: the time is not long enough, and the new love is not good enough.

Or for me, it not only needs time to kill, what can solve my dire straits is the appearance of a new love.