Looking for a woman named Xiaoyao

3. Network Encounter

In the winter of 2015, there were several heavy snowfalls in the south, so I was able to stay at home on vacation.When the secrets in the bottom of my heart are hard to get rid of, when the dull sadness can only flow in the bottom of my heart most of the time, I like to write my stories into novels, and the expression of words is a self-salvation.In addition to my career as a consultant, being an internet writer is another identity for me.The consulting experience provided a lot of material for my writing. She satisfied my desire to explore and often inspired me to write a lot.I have found a good balance between these two professions.I am a consultant during the day, and a writer at night, day and night, reality and fantasy, I weave some consulting materials into sad and decisive love stories.

I like to write all the love stories that are intense and struggling on the edge of morality. The joy of writing eliminates the dullness and tediousness of life.

I serialize my novels on the Internet, and I often receive messages from many readers.Most of my readers are lily lovers, and some of them are also les.When I was lazy, readers would leave me messages and urge me to update, which played a role of supervision to a certain extent.

Among the many readers, Xiaoyao is my loyal reader. Every time I update an article, she will leave a message, and she will give appropriate comments and suggestions on the structure, language, writing techniques, and even the conception of the plot.

Gradually we became acquainted, and we often talked about topics other than novels.She reminds me of a crush I once had.More than ten years ago, I met a woman on a literature forum. She is the moderator of the forum and has a poetic name, Qingchuan.Qingchuan's talent and appearance have won her many admirers on the Internet.During the more than a year of our acquaintance, we were limited to chatting on the Internet, mostly discussions about literary works.

This woman who looks exactly like Yang Yuying, this woman who is more than ten years older than me, this maverick woman with a sad background, gave me the best fantasy of love in the first love of my youth.It was a love that could not be explained clearly, never forgotten, and ended without a disease.

More than ten years ago, when she told me that she wanted to commit suicide, I bought a train ticket without hesitation, took leave of absence and rushed to her city overnight.The only time we met, and the last time.Later, when my heart could no longer hold my love, I expressed my heart to Qingchuan.As a result, Qingchuan left me, cut off all contact methods, and disappeared on the Internet.Forget me and find someone to marry.That was the last word she said to me.She disappeared into my world without leaving a trace.Later I learned the story of Qingchuan. There was once a girl who chose to commit suicide because she was going to get married. Only then did I understand why there was so much sadness on her body and why she left me.

As a psychological counselor, among the chatting netizens, I can quickly judge a person's general image, identity type, and personality characteristics through my professional knowledge, and then quickly establish a three-dimensional image of a person. It is the advantage that my professional skills bring me.

Like Qingchuan, Xiaoyao has some similar characteristics.There was always a layer of mystery wrapped around the little demon's body.I guess Xiao Yao's love must also have unknown pain, but she has been silent about the past.

This les novel created for the first time was a great success, it was recommended on the homepage of the website, and it also gained many fans and readers.

There are often some readers and netizens who leave me private messages and even express their admiration.For a middle-aged person who has experienced ups and downs on the Internet, I say that everything is so boring.The abrupt greetings, the same questions, and some awkward chats made me unable to continue, and I was bored, and finally I didn't bother to reply a single word.Some people say I'm cold, some say I'm withdrawn, and some say I'm too idealistic.I admit that what they say is not unreasonable.However, I really don't have the patience to chat with a strange reader fan about countless questions that have been repeated.

Chatting with Xiaoyao makes people feel very comfortable.She will greet without losing the opportunity, and the mood, scale, scale, and tone of the chat are just right.

Perhaps it can be said that Xiao Yao knows how to please people and grasp people's psychology.He knows how to control the rhythm of the chat and grasp the scale of the chat. Her views on some issues are also deeply rooted in my heart, and some views coincide with each other.

The relationship between me and Xiao Yao should be said to be somewhat ambiguous, neither of us has expressed our feelings to anyone else.Xiao Yao's way of expressing emotions is always so reserved and deep, roundabout and tactful, but I can still feel the undercurrent of the calm river.

The little demon sent me pictures of the aurora, and I was shocked.There are many kinds of aurora, which are colorful and magnificent, and there is no phenomenon comparable to them in nature.It would be difficult for any crayon to paint the playful, unpredictable brilliance of light in the frigid polar air.Sometimes it looks like a ribbon, sometimes it looks like a fire, and sometimes it looks like a huge colorful screen, like a dome movie being shown.Xiao Yao half-jokingly said that he could go to see the aurora with me if he had the opportunity.During the period of meditation, I imagined such a scene, which was as beautiful as a fairy tale.

During those days of meditation, I often wondered why the little demon started to take the initiative and gradually became indifferent, but when I was getting better, she withdrew?This question is like a grand philosophical proposition, and I have never been able to find a definite answer.

Ten days of meditation is really long for me, as if a century has passed.Meditation didn't seem to change any real problems, and the little demon still entrenched in my heart.When we left the meditation center, Lily and Alice hugged and bid farewell. For some reason, I wanted to appease Lily, but I didn't know how to say it.

The plane was flying across the sky, and I returned to Shanghai from Canada a few hours later.At Shanghai Pudong International Airport, the first thing Caiwei said when she saw me was: Meditation seems to have no effect on you.Look at you, have you lost weight again?

I replied to her: Sitting in meditation for 11 hours a day, eating a simple meal and not eating after noon, can I not lose weight?

Then go back and have a big meal.Tell me about your feelings about meditation, maybe I will go to Jiadu for a period of meditation in the future.

Come on, just you, it's a miracle that you can sit still for 2 hours.

What's the matter, do I just look like a crazy, restless, frivolous and uninhibited bad girl?