save him

2015. 12, 28

In order to be able to listen to Qing Jili's radio, Yan Yu took a book and sat in the gazebo outside the dormitory, shivering from the cold with ventilation on all sides.

The content was boring, and Ji Li's voice was the only motivation to keep him listening.

"Don't be alone, I'm Ji Li."

After hearing the ending words, Yan Yu closed the book that he hadn't read in like a liberation, casually clicked on the Post Bar software on his mobile phone, and pushed a school post, which was nothing more than various news about recruiting interns.

Calculating the time, if Ji Li didn't plan to continue his studies, he would be able to practice in the second half of the year.

Yan Yu doesn't think too much about degrees, as long as he has enough knowledge, he doesn't want to waste too much time in school, although he can study while working.

"Time is not forgiving."

But at the age of 22, he sighed with emotion.

During the meal, Ji Li was reading the practice manual, but he didn't complain about the stress to him.

Yan Yu put down his chopsticks: "Are you stressed?"

"It's okay," Ji Li turned the pages, without taking a bite, "I want to find a suitable internship, it's more difficult, fashion design, even the assistant position only recruits experienced people."

"Don't push yourself too hard." Yan Yu picked up his chopsticks again and picked some of his favorite food for Ji Li.

"How can this work," Ji Li said, "If you don't work hard, you will be eliminated, the rules passed down from your ancestors."

Yan Yu: "Did your ancestors tell you that people are made of iron and rice is made of steel?"

Ji Li understood what he meant, put down the manual, and concentrated on eating.

Yan Yu saw the black and blue under his eyes due to work, and couldn't help but said, "Do you want me to help you?"

"Help me for what?" Ji Li was taken aback for a moment, and then showed a relaxed smile.

"Help you find a suitable job, I..."

"No need." Ji Li smiled back, put down his chopsticks, lowered his head, and his expression gradually became serious.

Yan Yu noticed his strangeness, and continued to say: "If you have any requirements, just tell me, just say hello, and you won't trouble me."

Ji Li supported his cheeks with his hands, his eyes swept straight to Yan Yu.

Yan Yu looked at him like this, and said anxiously: "Do you want to think about it?"

"Consider," Ji Li clicked his tongue, "Brother Yu, do you know that I haven't even considered our future."

Yan Yu was stunned.

Not thinking about the future... what does that mean?

"What do you mean?" Yan Yu asked coldly.

Ji Li lowered his eyes, stopped looking at him, and said something that made Yan Yu fall into an ice cave.

"Literally. What future can two men have? It's not a romantic drama, but it's kind of an idol drama. Your family conditions are so good. But it's useless to me, there is no future, you don't have to count me in your In the future, I have no such idea at all."

Ji Li took a sip of the water on the table, his hands trembling inaudibly.

"Just for fun, have feelings, but don't take it seriously, or I will be very troubled."

Yan Yu clenched his hands into fists, gritted his teeth too hard, and the veins on his forehead exploded. Every word Ji Li said was like huge mountains that could not be crossed, and he couldn't breathe under the pressure.

"Brother Yu, you are a smart person, you must understand what I mean," Ji Li picked up the water glass and shook it, "We can still be together now, there is no time to separate, although it will be sooner or later. Come, have a drink."

Ji Li showed a bright and dazzling smile again, Yan Yu really wanted to catch the reluctant message from the corner of his mouth, but unfortunately the smile was so perfect that he had to believe it.

Feelings, the most feared thing is wishful thinking.

Ji Li still held the cup.

Yan Yu was silent for a while, then laughed without warning, it was not pleasant at all, it was mostly bitterness and disappointment.

"I told you everything about me, but I really don't seem to understand you."

Ji Li tilted his head when he heard this, maintained a slight smile, and raised his hands higher.

Yan Yu stretched out his hand, didn't pick up the cup, but stood up with the thin bill beside him, and took a deep look at him.

"If you think like this, then we haven't been together at all, just for fun, and we haven't broken up."

When Yan Yu walked beside him, he said in a trembling voice: "I have imagined a lot in my mind, the future between you and me."

Ji Li seemed to have a nasal voice when he spoke, and said a little coquettishly to his lover: "Why?"

"Because," Yan Yu walked forward, "you are my first love."

……

Ji Li weakly touched Yan Yu's untouched glass with his glass, drank the non-alcoholic water in one gulp, and then put his hands in front of his eyes.

When Yan Yu was walking outside, he saw a drop of water falling under the eyes of Ji Li who was sitting by the window in the transparent glass window.

It must not be tears. How could a person who said such unfeeling words cry?

2015. 12, 30

During the New Year's Day holiday, Yan Yu didn't go back to S City, didn't stay at school, and wasn't as decadent as other lovelorn people, but just opened a room in a hotel outside the school.

From morning to night, I wake up, I am hungry, I will not go on a hunger strike, I order takeaway to eat, and then go to sleep.

The phone ringing often woke him up, but there was no Ji Li's name, but there was Ji Li's singing, Yan Yu didn't cut it off, he listened every time, and picked it up when the other party was about to cut it off.

In the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep.

Searching through the phone, Ji Li pulled the group photo of him, which was so stupid that it was all supported by his appearance.

After enjoying himself for a while, a huge disappointment flooded his heart, bit by bit his heart was hollowed out, and he couldn't breathe. At this time, the most thing was not sadness, but real disappointment.

Did i do something wrong?why?Two men have no future?Who will repay me for the future I imagined.

Ji Li...

What an asshole!

Yan Yu stood at the window, blowing the cold wind that poured in. He didn't feel how cold it was. On the contrary, it gave him a sense of refreshment, and with the refreshment, a more stupid idea came to him.

If Ji Li was a woman, then everything would be fine, and he wouldn't have so many scruples...

But I love him?What the fuck has that got to do with sex.

What I love is Ji Li.

Yan Yu sniffed, a bunch of swear words popped up in his mind, who never scolded anyone, and they were all scolded at his unworthy "ex-boyfriend".

2015. 12, 31

Yan Yu had a dream, which made him remember deeply and vividly. If he didn't turn the dream into reality, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Yan Yu checked the number on the Internet, dialed and explained some things.

Having already made up his mind, he paused for a long time when he was about to call Ji Li, and finally had to press it because his fingers were frozen stiff.

"Hey."

Just when Ji Li uttered a single word, he was hoarse with difficulty, which made Yan Yu's heart ache.

The word duplicity is very suitable for Yan Yu, he said coldly: "Hey, do you still remember who I am?"

"Male...ex-boyfriend."

"I invite you to come to Heba at night." Yan Yu resisted the urge to say a lot.

"What, you want to date me?"

"Maybe," Yan Yu smiled wryly, "It's the last time."

……

Yan Yu sat beside a pile of red-wrapped fireworks for a long time before he realized that he hadn't told Ji Li the exact time of night.

Due to special festivals, the number of people by the river dam is not much less, most of them are couples, and there is an endless stream of people coming and going.

Seeing that the hour hand passed eleven o'clock, Yan Yu exhaled hot air, and under the illumination of the street lamps, circles of white mist emerged.

While playing this boring little game, someone patted his shoulder, and when he turned his head, it was Ji Li who was tightly wrapped up, wearing a scarf and no gloves, rubbing his hands together.

"It's been a long time." Ji Li smiled.

Yan Yu took off his gloves subconsciously, and wanted to grab his hand to help him put them on, but he thought of something in mid-air, stopped, put the gloves in his hands, and let him put them on by himself.

Ji Li put on his gloves bluntly: "What's the matter?"

Yan Yu took a step to the side, revealing several boxes of fireworks behind him.

Ji Li: "Set off the fireworks, it will disappear after this is set off, it's a waste."

Yan Yu nodded, and tied the fuse that was given by the merchant to a firework box on the box: "Don't waste it, I don't have any romantic cells."

"What kind of romance do we want?" Ji Li stood aside, "What we want is a touch that can be remembered. Today, a year ago, we met, and the scene is exactly the same as now."

"So you remember." Yan Yu took out his lighter and switched on the fuse, "But today, one year from now, are we going to separate?"

Yan Yu picked up Ji Li, walked towards a safe area, and found a place with the best viewing angle to stand in. The fireworks had already blossomed into the sky, and they were crackling and exploding. They were still as gorgeous as a year ago, and they looked the same .

But it is no longer the original batch of fireworks, the new fireworks are continuing the mission.

Ji Li looked up and praised: "It's very beautiful."

"Ji Li," Yan Yu looked at his handsome profile, and reached out to touch his cheek, "Let's stay together, not just for fun."

Ji Li acted as if he hadn't heard it, and followed the crowd watching the fireworks and exclaimed.

Yan Yu looked at him silently for a while, then moved in front of him, completely blocking his sight, then leaned down and kissed him.

Ji Li hugged him, but the two of them seemed to be frozen, neither of them moved.

After a long time, Yan Yu let go and smiled lightly.

"Goodbye then."

Ji Li opened his eyes wide, and under Yan Yu's expectant gaze, he didn't say anything, just waved his hands, walking wherever he came, and walking when he returned.

2016. 1, 1

Yan Yu's self-healing ability is not strong, but he can't express his sadness, so like a normal person, he accidentally saw a daily text message from his mother urging him to go to country Y.

There was no rejection, but hesitation for the first time.