Jonson's Diary

The wooden music box kept ringing, and Li Keji's amber eyes were out of focus at this moment, just like the dim-eyed little man in a dress on the music box who was circling around.

The first time I saw this music box was on July 2003, 7. An elderly woman bought it with a child. Many years later, Li Keji thought of this music box the moment he saw Qiao Song. thing.

Ah, so annoying!Li Keji just happened to meet him, and his brain remembered it without distinction.

Before the official meeting, Li Keji and Qiao Song met countless times, or Li Keji met unilaterally, such as July 2003, 7. It is a very, very disgusting thing with such a good memory.

Becoming a singer was requested by his family, especially his brother, who Li Keji didn't understand, but it didn't prevent him from performing this task. It didn't matter what he did, and it was difficult for him to integrate into other people's world.

The so-called healing smile was also required at the beginning, and he followed suit, because Li Keji didn't understand the difference between smiling all the time and keeping a straight face all the time, aren't they both the same?Isn't it just an expression?

Humans live in groups, and they cannot survive alone. There is a punishment called solitude. It is difficult for Li Keji to blend in with the crowd, and he has been a bystander for many years.

Li Keji knew that he was a different kind and had no companions.

Sometimes the feeling of liking is very strong, and the same pain will be multiplied, but sometimes liking or disliking is blurred, and the clear emotions seem to be shrouded in a fog, which is completely invisible when you are far away. I know it's there, but I can't really see it.

But there are also people who feel that they are just ordinary people with a better memory.

On a hot summer day, the woman has long hair and a loose T-shirt. She is carefully adding sugar to the big pot of black tea. If you add too much, it will be too sweet, if you add less, it will be bitter. Finally, the sweetness is adjusted to a satisfactory level. , A little smile finally appeared on her face.

"Kenji! Come and see if the sweetness is enough, is it different from last time?"

"Mom, I've said it can't be the same! How can it be the same without strict quantitative operation?!"

"Are you still arguing with your old lady?"

"I didn't! It's obviously your fault."

"I really asked you many times?"

Li Keji replied without hesitation: "You asked me the question just now 78 times."

"There are so many?"

"Yes, by the way, you have said this sentence a hundred and six times more than I have."

The black tea was almost cold, so she poured the tea into the plastic mold with a spoon, but she couldn't find the toothpick after searching for a long time: "Where did you put the toothpick! I can't even find it!"

"Can you stop yelling at me? You took it to the dining table the day before yesterday, but didn't take it back to the kitchen."

"I'm your mother? Don't you dare to yell at you? You have been bullying us old people for a long time because of your young memory. Are you going to heaven? You have the ability, if you have the ability, choose science instead of liberal arts? Isn't it just that you have a better memory? Yes What's the big deal?"

Li Keji chose science, and his family was very surprised, because Li Keji has a great advantage if he chooses texts, which is undeniable.

"Is the text selection not good? How do you choose the reasoning?"

"You asked me to choose science three years ago, but you don't remember?"

"Oh! My memory is not as good as yours. Your mother is old."

Li Keji still ignored her.

"Hey, is this the first time I've said that?"

Li Keji replied sullenly: "769 times this month."

He knew from an early age that adults were liars, that promises were never kept for a day, and always, always, he was the only one keeping them.

Li Keji's favorite person, the first is his biological mother.

In her eyes, Li Keji just had a better memory, the kind that no one else would envy.

After his mother left, although Li Keji still couldn't understand the emotion of nostalgia, he also got a little bit, very little.

It's only been a few months since I've known Qiao Song, but Li Keji feels a strange joy, maybe this is what people often say is the surprise of finding a companion?Perhaps, Qiao Song was classified by Li Keji as:

similar.

Qiao Song is anorexic, he understands, he understands the nausea of ​​having to pretend to be happy to eat food, and secretly vomit at night in order not to be discovered;

He understands Qiao Song's insomnia, he is very sleepy when he opens his eyes, but he is very awake when he closes them;

Qiao Song refuses other people's kindness, he understands, and he is afraid that he will not be able to pay back;

Qiao Song doesn't like to answer the phone, he understands, he doesn't want to have any contact with people, please let them die in the corner;

Qiao Song wanted to die, what a coincidence!He wanted to too.

He knows too much, so it is difficult to choose.

Have you ever heard of that moral dilemma?

Suppose you are a train switchman and there is a train approaching with brakes out of control ahead of you. You have two choices. The train can go to the right or to the left. There is a fat man on the right who is injured and unable to move, and another train is on the left.

The two trains broke down, there was no way to start and no way for people on board to leave.

At this time, do you want that train to go to the left or to the right?

There is no answer to this question. Maybe you will say that you should put the overall situation first and save as many people as possible, and choose the right.

But in Li Keji's opinion, this is just a high-sounding statement, and it cannot cover up the fact that you killed someone no matter what.

The life of a group of people is life, so is the life of one person not life?Who is nobler than whom?In the face of death, life is equal.

So what's the point of such a topic?

Li Keji knew that Qiao Song wanted to die, but because of Xue Rin, he struggled to support him.

Now you have a patient in front of you. Death is a relief for him. If he lives, it will be endless suffering and torture.

Now, it's your turn, how to choose?Is he alive?Or is it death?

Li Keji chose death. He knew better than anyone else how difficult it was to live.

do you know?Many patients don't die because they don't feel pain, but because they are afraid that their relatives and friends will suffer for them after their death, so they struggle to survive day after day.

Many times, life is not your own.

Li Keji managed to keep Xue Rin away from Qiao Song with a nearly perfect rhetoric, but it was indeed true.Xue Rin is indeed the stimulus, and it is indeed Qiao Song's salvation.

Death is a relief, but there is hope in life, even if there is little hope.

Li Keji killed the possibility of Qiao Song's future with his own hands. He is a sinner, the main criminal, and a heinous criminal.

Merciful Father, I have fallen into a kingdom where sin is invisible (Note 1)

Li Keji has always felt that there is essentially no difference between the problem of the train switching and the problem of his girlfriend and mother falling into the water, and there is no need for it to exist. Such problems are purely used to embarrass others, purely for comparison, Doesn't make any real sense.

Now Li Keji understands that the core of the problem is not the answer, but the confession.When you choose the right, you save a train of people, you feel that you are a hero who saves people from danger, and you save everyone at the lowest cost in consideration of the overall situation.

However, you killed one person at the same time, you should repent.

That is a person, he was born under the expectation and blessing of his parents, he had brothers and sisters, he had his own friends, and he had ideals and aspirations that he wanted to realize. His death was an indelible pain for his family and friends.

You should repent because your decision caused his death.

What about the survivors?Should they be jumping for joy?Do you take your choice for granted?No, survivors should be more repentant because their lives depended on the death of others.

Did the people on the train with the broken brakes have nothing to do with themselves?No, because their train broke down, the switchman was forced to make such a choice. If the brakes were not broken, at least such a tragedy would not have occurred.

They should also repent.

Everyone should repent for the lost life (Note 2).

Li Keji should also repent, he killed Qiao Song, it was only his choice to make the established fact that he obliterated the possibility of Qiao Song being alive.

But sometimes, sorry or confession becomes a flimsy excuse.People who have done something wrong, just say sorry and it's over?

It is repentance to inflict the pain of the victim on the perpetrator. Only when you feel the pain of others a thousand times can you truly feel sorry.

If you damage someone else's stationery, you have to pay for an identical copy, and if you lose someone else's money, you have to pay the same amount.

The so-called, a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye (Note 3).

Please wait for me!My friend, my kind, on Naihe Bridge, walk slowly, I owe you an apology.

Note 1: This sentence comes from the song "In the Name of the Father" - Jay Chou

Note 2: The point of view on the issue of the train switch is the issue of confession. It was taught by Mr. Shi Guangshun in the chapter on the subject of value in the open course "Debating Cultivation" of Nankai University. It was really shocking at the time.

Note 3: This refers to the "Code of Hammurabi": If a freeman injures the left eye of a freeman, the left eye of the injurer must be injured, not the "Old Testament Deuteronomy" 》: "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hand for a hand, and a foot for a foot." That is to say, stare in return for stare, bite with teeth for bite with teeth.Refers to what means the opponent uses to attack, and what means are used to fight back.