Jonson's Diary

Have you ever watched someone's life in silence?

If you don't, you're lucky; if you do, you're lucky too.

Few people came to the funeral, An Huai knelt in front of the coffin, suddenly felt that everything was like an absurd pantomime in black and white.But he couldn't do anything, he silently watched Qiao Song's trace in this world was only a handful of ashes.

He was packing up Qiao Song's belongings. Xue Rin gave him the key before he left. Xue Rin said that he couldn't face this house, and he was reluctant to sell it. He may or may not come back one day in the future.

An Huai wants to laugh, he understands, but the flames of anger are still licking [Civilization] and licking his nerves, is it because Xue Rin left back then just gave Qiao Song such an excuse that is not even a reason?

An Huai knew Qiao Song earlier than Qiao Song could imagine, but Qiao Song never paid attention to others, never.

Qiao Song knew that Xue Rin was someone who could beat No.2 by a few points, but he never knew that No.2 was him. Qiao Song didn't pay attention to the people around him, he only lived in his own world. The arrogant posture forcefully entered Qiao Song's world, and then, there was no more.

Jealousy is a disgusting and tasteless thing. Jealousy of others just means that you are not as good as him. It is the ugly belittling and hostility of the loser towards the winner.

An Huai thought that when he met such an opponent, he would only admire him and try his best to catch up. Next time he would beat him openly, but he couldn't win.It's okay to be jealous once in a while, right?Just one click!

Why do you like Qiao Song?I don't know, but one day I suddenly discovered that I like him!

An Huai took out all the things in the bookcase, wiped the dust carefully, packed everything in the closet with boxes, it was not as difficult to clean up as the bookcase.

Qiao Song is a very nostalgic person, most of the bookcases are old books.The drafts he wrote when he was in school, the small notes passed by Xue Lin, the funny graffiti messy notes on the textbooks, and the names and phone numbers of teachers in various subjects.

The first and last pages of the book are always written with some unknown contact information, QQ, phone number or game ID.

An Huai remembered that Qiao Song's Chinese was always the highest score in the class, compared to mathematics and other subjects, he was much worse. He once thought that Qiao Song might not be good at these subjects of science and engineering, but if he is really not good at , why did you choose to major in finance?

Maybe it's not that Qiao Song is bad at it, it's just that he can control the scores in mathematics and the like?Maybe!Now the truth can no longer be found.

An Huai flipped through the Chinese books he used to be in junior high school, one of which was densely written with annotations, An Huai took a look at the title——"An En and the Cow"

An Huai doesn't quite remember what he was talking about, usually Qiao Song would tell him about O Henry's "The Last Gift" or "The Man in a Case"

It's been too long, maybe Qiao Song has forgotten that he liked this novel so much.Will there be a day like this: Just like Qiao Song forgot his favorite novel, one day he will also forget about Qiao Song and his favorite person?

Can time really take everything away?Will these glittering memories one day become tattered and dim?

An Huai remembers that Qiao Song especially liked an anime called "Chaos Warrior", which can be regarded as one of Watanabe's pinnacle works, with smooth fighting scenes and excellent soundtrack mixed with many modern elements, such as rap, But it tells an authentic Japanese story, which naturally integrates the oriental tradition and the imported culture.

"Its only shortcoming is insufficient sentence structure." Qiao Song said inarticulately while eating watermelon.

"Not tired?" Qiao Song read the lines of "Chaos Warrior" when he had nothing to do, and he remembered the lines perfectly, and he was still watching!

"I really like it, Renhe Wuhuan is so cool! The wind is also very cute, and the noisy friendship on the journey, but, to be honest, I have watched it so many times, no matter how great the enthusiasm may be. It's almost worn out, maybe I just don't want to lose my love for it."

"As for me, because of this anime, I met a bunch of big bosses. At that time, the big bosses still had a deep influence on me. They could be regarded as friends. Later, they all left, and I was left alone."

"I think it's normal for the show to end, but I'm still sad. For example, when "The Family Teacher" ended, many people left. Maybe I was watching "Chaos Warrior" or "The Family Teacher" "It’s not that I’ve forgotten their plots, to be honest, I think I’ve learned them by heart, and I may, to a large extent, be nostalgic for the past.”

"Following a bunch of friends to stay up late at night to draw pictures, repairing audio to the point of doubting life, and doing editing to cry father and mother, they will also quarrel in the dark over the script, complaining that the other party's cosplay is very low."

"We're all grown up now, though."

An Huai's time was running out, his father asked him to go to a certain band, scolded him, and told him to stop playing.

His father was very strict. An Huai never liked the piano, and he succumbed to his father's iron fist. He hoped that his son would inherit his father's career. His father chose what major to study in college. When he was rebellious in middle school, he especially liked heavy metal rock music.

He often hid under the covers and listened to music in the middle of the night, but was caught by his father once, and An Huai was very nervous, so nervous that he was dying.

His father gave him a kick, and An Huai hurriedly lowered his head in fright, not daring to take a breath. His father took out the lighter on the ground, lit a cigarette and bit it in his mouth. An Huai glanced secretly, and quickly admitted his mistake:

"Dad, I, I was wrong." It's okay if you get angry, An Huai will ignore it directly, but in this state, you can't understand it, it's better to be obedient.

"Hmm - what's wrong?" Hey, the little bastard with a stern face all day will still admit his mistake?Shouldn't he be stubborn now, dragging him like [-] million, and not listening to a word of persuasion?

"I shouldn't be listening to rock and roll."

Unexpectedly, An Huai was slapped by his father and yelled at him: "Is your father like this old stubborn? He doesn't sleep at night and wears earphones. Do you want your ears? Are you going to class in the morning?"

"what?"

"Don't be funny, if Beethoven was still around, he would love rock music to death. In a sense, his music in that era was rock."

His father has a bad temper, but sometimes, in some strange places, he will be extra tolerant, and this time is no exception.

"Dad, I don't want to go."

There was a long silence on the phone: "Have you figured it out?"

"Yes." An Huai waited silently for his father's objection and roar while pinching the phone.

"Well, so be it." An understatement, as if all the troublesome things he did for An Huai were insignificant things.

"dad?"

"You have to be responsible for your own choices." Immediately afterwards, words like a sigh sounded, "You have grown up, and I am also old. It is good for young people to make a difference."

"dad!"

"how?"

"No."

"It's nothing, I'll just hang up!"

He doesn't want to leave, An Huai is also afraid, one day, he will forget, An Huai will never let time take everything away!

Does it make sense?

Have.

It doesn't matter if Qiao Song doesn't like him, it's good to see him happy.

An Huai didn't understand Qiao Song, he couldn't understand Qiao Song's feelings, even though An Huai was always by Qiao Song's side during the hospitalization, he still couldn't empathize with him.

It is said that we need to think differently, but there are some things that you will not understand without personal experience, right?

But these don't prevent An Huai from supporting Qiao Song. I can't understand you, but I support every decision you make.This is An Huai's gentleness.

You don't have to pretend, at least in front of me;

You don't have to force yourself to laugh at me, you can scream and curse at me;

You don't have to eat food that you don't want to eat at all, it doesn't matter if you are willful;

You don't have to force yourself to bask in the sun, I will accompany you in a daze in a dark room;

You don't have to force yourself to see a doctor;

You can't even want to live,

I support your decision unconditionally.

An Huai remembered the words that Qiao Song comforted the doctor when he was hospitalized:

"We're sick, so to die, it's no big deal."

How sad.

Xue Lin walked with Qiao Song for a long time, and An Huai also watched Qiao Song silently.

Who loves more than whom?who lost?Who wins again?

How can feelings be better than winning or losing?

When he knew that Qiao Song was planning to die, An Huai seriously thought about the future without Qiao Song, and concluded that if Qiao Song wanted to die, then he would live for a long time until the time was not pleasing to his eyes.

Because he wanted to remember Qiao Song as much as possible.

Now, An Huai is even more determined, because Li Keji is also dead, leaving this world exactly like Qiao Song.

look!The only ones who can remember Qiao Song are him and Xue Lin?How could this make him bear the heart to die?

I look forward to remembering him for a little longer, and a little longer.

The story is over, but life never ends. Qiao Song stubbornly watched "Warrior of Chaos" repeatedly, and An Huai also stubbornly wanted Qiao Song to live in his memory.

But how long can they remember a finished story?