Cultivate a black technology god

Chapter 220 Ariel's past (23)

According to Dr. Wilbur, Heidi Dorset is obviously schizophrenic from the information provided by Heidi's daughter.

Doctors further determined that the mother, who suffered from schizophrenia, was the root cause of Ariel's split into multiple personalities.

Therefore, it is very necessary to explore the cause of schizophrenia and find out what made Heidi like this.

There is a big white house in Elderville, Illinois.

This is where Heidi Anderson Dorset was born and her girlhood home.

Until Ariel was nine years old, she visited here for two weeks every summer.

From Ariel's narration, the doctor found some clues.

The Andersons had thirteen children, four boys and nine girls.

They lived in a house with very irregular outlines.

Winston Anderson is the head of the family, well respected in the town and a dictator at home.

What he demands from everyone is not only general obedience and respect, but also everyone's attention.

Mother, Ai Lian, has to take care of so many children, it is difficult to take care of her.

Therefore, the children are clearly uneducated.

Heidi, is a tall, slender girl with blond wavy hair and blue-gray eyes.

Her primary school report card was piled with A's.She can write poetry.

Several of her music teachers spoke highly of her musical talent and supported her desire to go to a conservatory to become a pianist.

But at the age of 12, her ambitions were dashed.

Her father pulled her out of the seventh grade of elementary school and went to his musical instrument store to replace her sister who was about to get married.

At that time, there was no economic consideration for her to drop her studies.

At that time, she was asked to give up her wishes and dreams, and there were no rhetoric or arguments.

"She was the smartest kid in the class and one of the best students I've ever had," said the seventh-grade teacher.
"It would be a crime to have her drop out of school."

"Extraordinary musical talent," said Heidi's piano teacher, a nun:
"If given the chance, she will be promising."

Unfortunately, this opportunity was not given.

The scene at that time was engraved in Heidi's memory:
One evening, Winston was wearing his smoking suit, sitting in his special chair and smoking his special cigar
"Don't go to school tomorrow." He told Heidi bluntly.His dark eyes squinted at her.

"You're going to work in the store."

No one talked back to her father.Neither did Heidi.

She just laughed.

The harsh laughter echoed through the house, even after she went back to her room and closed the door behind her.

After the family had gone to sleep, she went downstairs to the living room, found the purple smoking suit in the hall closet, and cut off both sleeves.

When asked about it the next day, she feigned innocence, left the house and walked the four blocks to the music store.

Winston bought another smoking suit, exactly like the old one.

One of Heidi's responsibilities in the store was to display the pianos.

She improvised pieces that weren't on the sheet music, increasing the sales of her father's goods.

When a few customers found problems after buying the piano and came to negotiate, Heidi would deal with it with a straight face:
"Didn't I play that piano for you?" When there were no customers in the store, she kept playing the piano, and every Thursday after get off work, she went to the nunnery to take music lessons.

Heidi's dream was shattered.

Heidi herself was ill.

She had chorea, a disease that twisted and convulsed her flesh.

But there is also a spiritual element.

This insanity grew so violent that the family had to take off their shoes before going upstairs so as not to disturb Heidi.

The family's plates had to be placed on flannel, because Heidi couldn't stand the squeaking of the plates.

These concessions, though incongruous with the family's lack of upbringing, had always been so when she was seriously ill.

Fighting back against a disillusioned dream is not outright defiance, not outright opposition, but through small gestures such as jokes or pranks.

Heidi became the child in the family who often said embarrassing things or asked difficult questions.

In French, it's called enfant terrible, which means a child who loves to worry.There is a running joke about Heidi’s mission to bring the cows home from the ranch.

The ranch is not far from home, on the edge of the city of Elderville.

She wandered around and even visited relatives and friends, while the Andersons and the cows couldn't wait.

Another joke was directed at Winston.

He was the director of the Methodist choir.Heidi was assigned by him to pull the bellows of the church organ.

One Sunday, with the last hymn unsung, Heidi ran away, leaving the bellows and her father alone.

Winston Anderson, in his Prince Albert coat, had just raised his baton to lead the choir into the sky, while the organ fell silent.

His dark eyes almost burst into flames.

When her father, past fifty, began to feel his old war wounds rife, Heidi fought back again.

He had suffered a bullet in his shoulder and hadn't taken it out, and now it affected blood circulation, causing his legs to swell, and it took two people to lift him up.

When he started drinking alcohol to relieve his pain, his wife and children started arguing, and the house ran out of alcohol.

But when Winston manages to secure the booze himself, the family chooses Heidi to scout.

The detective found a row of wine bottles full of wine bottles on the shelf behind the piano, and asked triumphantly:

"Where else do musicians hide their wine bottles?" Her father had failed her, and now she would fail him.

Before her father was alive, she held a grudge against him.

After his death, she turned the resentment in her heart into idolatry and pathological attachment.

Nowhere is this morbid attachment more evident than when she caresses the smoking suit he left behind.

Sometimes Heidi said that she had a "troublesome thing" and her father was to blame.

She never said what the trouble was, but anyone who knew her knew there was something wrong with her.

The trouble was epitomized in a photo of Heidi that was cut out of a magazine and kept among a host of other memorabilia.

This is a picture of an attractive girl standing by a fence.

The title reads: No, she was not particularly loved.

She felt it.

Heidi Anderson was not loved, and could not love.

She lacks education herself, and she does not educate others.

A loner herself in the extended family, she later emotionally isolates her only daughter, and the rage over the disillusionment of her music career dreams finally makes Ariel the object of her wrath.

Eileen, the mother, is a "great woman" in Heidi's mouth.

She had no particular emotional problems, but was too accommodating in allowing her husband to exercise tyranny in the home.

But the four sons appear to have had some relationship problems that were passed on to their children -- one of whom committed suicide.

Four of the eight daughters (including Heidi and the eldest, Edith) were wild and volatile.

Edith is the tyrant of the girls in the family.

The other four daughters were too docile, too taciturn, too aloof, and all married to tyrannical husbands.

The youngest sister, Fei, weighed two hundred pounds.

Heidi and Edith were very similar in stature, face, and temperament.

Later, they all suffered from the same symptoms: severe headaches, extremely high blood pressure, arthritis and a vague sense of neurosis.

Heidi's neurosis began after she suddenly dropped out of school.

There is no doubt that Heidi's schizophrenia began at age 40, when Ariel was born.

But it's unclear whether Edith also suffered from schizophrenia.

Edith's sons suffered from various physical and mental ailments, including ulcers and asthma.

Her daughter had some unknown illnesses. Later she became a religious fanatic and participated in a faith healing group. She even boasted that she had recovered her health. However, the daughter of this religious fanatic suffered from a rare blood disease and would be affected for the rest of her life. in a semi-disabled state.

One of Edith's granddaughters suffered from nearly all of Heidi's physical and emotional problems, but to a lesser extent.

In connection with Ariel's illness, and more importantly, two family members - Heidi's youngest brother, Henry Anderson, and Edith's granddaughter, Lillian Green - showed signs of multiple (or at least double) personalities .

Henry sometimes ran away from home suddenly, disappeared, and was unable to return home due to amnesia, not knowing his name or address.

On one occasion, he also contracted pneumonia and was running a fever and babbling when a Salvation Army worker found him.

His identity card was later found during a routine check of his clothing before being sent back to Eldwirry.

Lilian is married and has three children. She often abandons her home and goes out without saying hello.

After this happened so many times, her husband hired a detective to track her down and bring her home.

Henry and Lillian's situation suggests a genetic predisposition to Ariel's disease.

But Dr. Wilbur always believed that the root cause of her disease was not heredity, but her childhood environment.

Anderson's home in Eldwiery looked far from a hotbed of psychosis.

For, during the fortnight of Ariel's visits to the Eldwiley every summer, everything was immaculate, and even Heidi's tyranny and perversion had completely ceased.

Here, Ariel's virtual world seems to become reality.

The aunts and uncles here hugged her, kissed her, held her up in the air, listened intently to her singing and reciting, and said everything she did was wonderful.

Ariel's visit wouldn't be complete if she didn't go to the cinema.

Her Aunt Fee, served as a piano accompanist during the silent film era.

Ariel sat on the piano bench next to her aunt.

Although there were no audience in the movie theater, although the movie was not shown, and although the piano keys were played very lightly, although there was no sound, Ariel felt that she was accompanying the movie.

And during an afternoon movie session with Fee, Ariel looks up at her aunt, fantasizing that she is her mother.

It wasn't until it was time to leave for Willow Cornus that Ariel woke up to realize how much she wished to stay in the Elderville.

One summer she said to her Aunt Fei:
"Will you leave me?" Fei stroked Ariel's hair and said:

"You're from the Dorsets. You're going to live with Dorset. You're coming next summer."

During nine delightful summer vacations in a row, two events happened in Eldwiery that brought Ariel's fantasies of the virtual world crashing down.

On a Sunday in July 1927, Ariel and her cousin Lulu were in the Andersons' kitchen, helping her aunt Fei with the dishes.

Aunt Fei sees Lulu every day, but can only see Ariel for two weeks in the summer, so she pays special attention to Ariel.

When Aunt Fei left the kitchen to bring tea to Anderson's grandmother, Lulu and Ariel were still doing housework in silence.

Ariel was wiping the silver spoon in her hand, but she couldn't take her eyes off the engraved crystal plate for pickles that was being wiped in Lulu's hand.

The iridescence that it takes place, the colorfulness, is just so beautiful.

Suddenly, the rainbow flew up.

It turned out that Lulu had thrown the plate towards the French doors leading into the dining room.

With the sound of shattering crystal glass, Ariel's head throbbed, and the room seemed to be spinning.

The sound of shattering glass attracted many aunts and uncles.

The door with shattered glass swung open.

They all stared at the plate broken into eight pieces on the ground.

The adults began to stare at the two children, and the children stared at them.

"Who did it?" These three words were written all over their faces.

There was a tense silence.Lulu declared: "Ariel did it!"

"You broke it," Heidi ran towards Ariel with reprimanding words.

"Hey, Heidi," Fei warned her, "she's just a little girl. She didn't mean to."

"Didn't it be intentional? For the sake of the earth, Fei, you see, she didn't accidentally drop it on the ground. She threw it on purpose. How could I have such a child?"

Ariel stood there without a single teardrop.

And Lulu cried.

"Ariel did it," Lulu said while crying, "Ariel did it."

At this moment, Heidi's daughter went to the dining room window, beat the windowpane with both fists, and begged:

"Let me out, oh please, let me out. Not me. She did it. She lied. Let me out. Please!"

Ariel has turned into Peggy Lou. "Go back to your house," Heidi ordered.

"Sit on the chair in the corner and wait until I call you."

Ariel had forgotten about it, but Peggy Lou not only remembered it clearly, but relived and replayed it many times.

During her first year of psychoanalysis in New York, October 1954 to October 10, Peggy Lou shattered not only the windows in Dr. Wilbur's consulting room, but also several shops on Fifth Street $1955 worth of vintage crystal glassware.

Every time something happened, Ariel had to show up again and say to the clerk:

"I'm really sorry, I'll pay for it."

Another incident that disturbed the Anderson family in Eldwyri also occurred in July 1927.

Heidi ran out into the yard, laughing out loud in her special way.

Upon hearing the familiar laughter, Ariel stood up from the kitchen table, took a few steps, and peeked out the kitchen window to see her mother standing alone near the cowshed.

That laugh came again.

Ariel saw her cousin Joyer and her uncle Jerry five feet away from her mother, carrying a box that Ariel had seen earlier on the kitchen table.

At this moment, Aunt Fei came to the window and stood beside Ariel.

Heidi usually tried not to let her relatives hear her weird, unreasonable laughter.

Embarrassed by her mother's gaffe (especially in front of relatives), Ariel shuddered and turned away from looking.

"Let's go inside, Ariel," Fei said softly.

"Let's play four hands on the piano."

"Wait a minute." Ariel couldn't move away from the window.

So, Ariel heard Aunt Fei calling Joey and Jerry through the window.

The two men were talking to Heidi.

Joyer's voice came from the courtyard:
"Don't disturb her, Fei," Ariel knew that Heidi was Joye's favorite aunt, and he was trying to protect her.

A coffin, Ariel thought so when she saw the box that Joey and Jerry were carrying.

It was smaller than the boxes and caskets she used to see in the funeral home behind Willow Conners' house...

It was Marcia who completed the thought without a period: but the box is more than enough for my mother.

Marcia stood motionless, continuing to meditate: the boxes grew like trees and people.

The box will get bigger and bigger, and it will hold my mother.

Marcia thought she should go out and stop Joyer and Jerry from putting the box on the wagon;

She felt that she should be worried about her mother; but she felt that she was not worried because she wanted her mother to die!

But Marcia could not have known then that wishing for the mother's death was common among little girls;

Under normal circumstances, little girls love their father first;

And it grows as they find their mothers competing for their fathers' love.

But when Heidi, who was usually well behaved in the Eldwell, burst out laughing as brazenly as she had at Willow Corners, her daughter could not help but add to her anger, making the willing mother die. The idea is strengthened.

Marcia felt very guilty for her own thoughts, so she rejected the idea and returned the body to Ariel.

Ariel doesn't know that Marcia has a locket and will grow up with wild thoughts.

(End of this chapter)