Cultivate a black technology god

Chapter 184 Confessions of Artificial Intelligence (5)

"One night, as usual, I went to the nearby woods to forage, and then I brought some firewood back for my neighbor.

On the way, I saw a suitcase with some clothes and some books in it.

I hurriedly took it back to my residence as if I had found a treasure.

As luck would have it, those books were written in a language I knew well, the basic laws of which I had learned in the shed.

Among those were Paradise Lost, a volume of Plutarch's Lives, and The Sorrows of Young Werther.

I am ecstatic to have these treasures.

From then on, when my neighbors and friends were busy with their daily chores, I concentrated on reading these books and exercised my mind. "

"It's hard for me to describe to you how deeply those books influenced me.

They gave birth to countless new images and feelings in my mind. Sometimes they made me mesmerized, but more often they made me fall into extreme depression and couldn't extricate myself.

"The Sorrows of Young Werther" not only has a concise story and a moving plot, but also the author expounds many points of view, and pays special attention to many issues that have been puzzling me for a long time.

This book is like an inexhaustible wellspring for me, full of sparks of thought and surprises. "

"It depicts the gentle, docile manner of human nature, which also contains the extremely sensitive nature and the noble feelings without self-interest.

These qualities all fit very well with the virtues I saw in my neighbors, and with expectations that will always be rooted in me.

However, I think Werther is more extraordinary than anyone I have ever met, or imagined, in that there is no trace of affectation in his character, and yet he sinks to death.

The discussion in the book about death and suicide confuses me very much.

I don't want to comment on the right and wrong of Werther's death, but I very much agree with the protagonist's point of view in the book.

I have also shed tears for his death, although I don't fully understand why he must kill himself. "

"However, when I read, I think more about my own origins, feelings and situations.

I find it very strange that I am neither like the characters I read about nor the people whose conversations I have been eavesdropping on.

I can share their feelings and understand them to a certain extent, but my mind is not yet formed.

I am alone and have nothing to do with anyone.The door to leave is always open to me, even if I die suddenly, no one will mourn for me.I was ugly and huge.

What has actually happened?who I am?What am I?Where do I come from?Where are you going again?These questions kept popping up in my mind, but I couldn't answer them. "

"The volume of Plutarch's Lives that I picked up records the historical materials of the first founders of the ancient republic.

This book had a very different impact on me than The Sorrows of Young Werther.What I got from Werther's fantasies was sinking and sorrow, but what Plutarch taught me was profound thoughts.

He freed me from the pessimistic thoughts of self-pity, and guided me to respect and admire the ancient heroes.

Many of the things mentioned in the book have never been experienced by me, nor can I understand them.

I knew very little about the ancient empires—the vastness of the land, the rushing rivers, and the boundless seas—and my conception was vague.The cities and densely populated populations are completely ignorant.

My neighbor's farmhouse has always been the only classroom for me to study human nature, but what is shown in this book is a new and grander social picture.

I read about those who run the affairs of state enslaving or slaughtering their own kind.

I have the greatest zeal and yearning for the virtue that arises within me, and the deepest aversion for evil.

As far as I understand, the two concepts of "virtue" and "evil" are relative, but in the final analysis they are both joy and pain.

Under the temptation of these sentiments, I certainly admired the mild legislators Numa, Solon, and Lycurgus, rather than Romulus and Syceps.

And the respectable way of life of my neighbors made these ideas take root in my mind.

If I had first known human beings through a young soldier who pursued honor and loved to kill, I might have a completely different concept in my mind. "

"Where Paradise Lost inspired me something completely different, something much deeper.

I read this book as I read the first two, as if it were real.

It tugged at every chord in my heart, and made me marvel and be awed by the brutal war between Almighty God and the Creators.

I am often surprised to find that some scenes in the book are very similar to my situation. "

"Like Adam, I obviously had no connection with any other living beings. But his situation was otherwise very different from mine.

He came from the hand of God, a perfect product.

He is happy and lucky, being cared for by the Creator, and allowed to talk with the gods and gain knowledge from them.

And I was all alone, lonely and helpless.

So many times, I think that the devil Satan is more representative of my current situation, because when I see my neighbors living happily, I will be like Satan, jealous like bitter bile in my heart appeared. "

"There was one more incident which only increased my jealousy.

I once got a message.

I didn't pay much attention at first, but then I could recognize the words written on the messages, so I started to study them carefully.

All the things recorded in it are about my cursed origin, as well as the disgusting production details, and your detailed description of my ugly, dirty body, and so on.

And you yourself wrote in it how you were terrified, and even I felt terrified after reading it.I looked at it and felt sick.

'What a damn day I got my life! 'I couldn't help crying out in grief.

'Damn creator, why did you create such an ugly monster like me that even you want to run away in disgust?God, out of mercy, created handsome, charming humans in His own image.And my image, out of your filthy image, is even more hideous than your prototype.

Satan had friends and other demons to keep him company, to worship him, to encourage him, but I was alone and hated. "

"The above is all I thought about when I was lonely and sinking, but when I thought of the virtues of my neighbor's family and their kind and kind character, I secretly convinced myself that when they understood that I admired their virtues so much, , maybe they will treat me kindly and not care about my ugly appearance.

How could they turn away someone who asked them for mercy and friendship, even if the person looked like a monster.

I think at least I needn't despair, but I must try to arrange for myself to meet them once, so as to decide my fate.

I put off this attempt for several months, because the success of the venture was so important, and I was afraid that my previous efforts would be wasted.

In addition, I found that my intelligence and understanding were improving day by day, so I was not willing to act rashly, but waited until my wisdom had grown further in a few months. "

"At the same time, there have been some changes in the neighborhood.

The arrival of Sophie brought joy to the neighbors, and I also found that their lives are much better off.

Felix and Agatha now had more time to play and chat, and they even hired servants to assist them with their work.

Although they don't look rich, they are content and very happy.Their emotions are peaceful and peaceful, but my thoughts are becoming more and more like a mess.The more I learned, the more clearly I realized that I was an unlucky outcast.

Although I was lucky, it was true, but as soon as I saw my reflection in the water, or the projection in the moonlight, even if those shadows were blurred, the last hope in my heart was shattered. "

"I worked hard to reassure myself of my fears and strengthen my confidence for what I decided to try in a few months.

Sometimes, I even let my mind wander unrealistically in imaginary paradise, boldly imagining some kind and lovely people who would sympathize with my feelings and help me get rid of my sadness and find my happiness again.

I fantasize about the warm smiles on their angelic faces.

However, all these are daydreams, and there is no Eve to explain my grief and share my worries.

I'm just alone.I still remember Adam's prayer to God.But where is my Creator?He has long since abandoned me.I was in great pain, and my heart was like a knife.I curse him with all my heart! "

"The autumn passed like this. I watched with amazement and sadness as the leaves withered and withered one by one, and the natural world gradually showed a barren and bleak scene, just like the scene when I saw the woods and the bright moon for the first time last year .

But I don't mind the colder temperatures because my body is more resistant to the cold than the heat.

But my chief pleasure in life is the sight of flowers and birds, and all the delights of summer.

When that all cleared up, I turned more of my attention to the family.

Their happiness did not diminish in the slightest with the passing of summer.

They are deeply in love with each other, and their happiness is based on their deep love for each other, so they are not affected by changes in the surrounding environment.

The more I saw them, the more I wanted their protection and kindness.

My heart strongly longs for those amiable and lovely people to understand me and love me.

If they can smile at me with enthusiasm, that's the best I can hope for.

I dare not even conceive of the disgust and terror with which they might reject me, for they have never turned away the poor who lingered at their door.

It is true that what I want is more precious than some food or a shelter, their kindness and sympathy, but I do not believe that I am wholly undeserving of these. "

"Autumn turns to winter. Since I came to this world, the changes of the seasons have gone through a complete cycle.

At this point, I put all my thoughts on the plan of how to introduce myself to those neighbors.I thought about it, calculated it, and finally decided to wait until the blind old man was alone in the room before entering the room.

I have been wise enough to understand that my extraordinary ugliness was the main reason why those who saw me before feared and disliked me.

My voice was hoarse and harsh, but it wasn't scary.So I thought, as long as the old man's children are not present, I can still win the kindness of the old man De La Sai, and let me mediate for me.

I might be able, through him, to be accepted by those young protectors. "

"One day, although the weather was not warm, the sun shone on the ground dotted with red leaves, which made people feel quite happy.

Sophie, Agatha, and Felix had gone for a walk in the country, while old De La Serie himself preferred to remain at home alone.

When the kids were gone, he picked up the guitar and played a few pieces that were sadder and more tender than anything I had ever heard before.

At first, his expression was poised and serene, but with each play, his expression gradually changed to contemplation and sadness.Finally, he put the instrument aside and sat there in a daze. "

"My heart was pounding, and it was a good time for me to act, and it turned out to be a dream or a nightmare. The servants in the house were all gone to the nearby market.

The hut was quiet, and this was indeed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

However, just as I was about to carry out my plan, my legs went weak and I collapsed to the ground.

But I struggled to stand up, mustered all the courage in my body, and moved away the wooden boards used for shelter in front of the shed.The fresh air blowing against my face lifted my spirits, and I made up my mind and walked towards the door of the farmhouse. "

"I knocked on the door, 'Who is that?' The old man said, 'Come in!'"

"I went in and said, 'Sorry to bother you. I'm a passerby looking for a place to rest, and I'd be grateful if you'd allow me to sit in front of the fire for a few minutes.'"

"'Come in,' said De La Serre, 'I will do my best to meet your needs, but unfortunately, my children are away, and I am blind, so I am afraid it will be difficult for me to prepare for you. which kind of food.'"

"'No trouble, good master. I have my own food, and I just want to warm myself to the fire and rest a little.'"

"I sat down and said nothing. I knew that every minute was precious to me at this moment, but I didn't know how to start a conversation. Then the old man said to me: 'Listen to your accent. I suppose you are one of my compatriots. Are you French?'"

"'No, but I was educated in a French family and speak only French. I am seeking the protection of some friends whom I love with all my heart and expect to do me some favours.'"

(End of this chapter)