The First Chaos In History

　　 I never thought that Qin Shihuang was a fat man.

　　 I never thought that Qin Shihuang was still a fat man with a beautiful smile.

　　 This big fat man, Qin Shihuang, with a beautiful smile, looked only about 45 years old. He was wearing a long gown embroidered with swords and coins. His hair was much brighter than Jing Ke's. He knew that he washed frequently, and he nodded and smiled at me with his sleeves. It seems that we have the same embarrassment: we don't know how to call each other.

　　 Liu Laoli patted Qin Shihuang on the shoulder and said, "You can call him a strong son or a brother in the future." Then he greeted me and said, "Brother Ying."

"Hadron…"

　　 "Brother Win..."

　　 "Hungry (I) will fire in your mouth (here) from now on." I hurriedly replied: "Good club (say) good club."

　　Good fellow, and Yingzheng is the brother and sister, I feel that my face is like a bed that a child has peeed on, expanding infinitely in a limited space.

Later, I learned that my brother Ying is not always so low-key, because Liu Laoliu told him that I am a god. He is like this. My brother Ying is actually a man who admits his fate. First, he lied to himself to practice the eternal life pill, and it was said that he was about to succeed. At that time, the alchemist died, and Brother Ying immediately repaired the terracotta warriors and horses, hoping to be in another world with a younger brother holding him. Now in his eyes, I am the master of the other world, so he is very polite with me.

　　 Liu Laoliu put down Qin Shihuang, this time he hit a motorcycle and left. I always thought that those who are willing to sit on the road should have a kind heart of the masses. This time I knew I was wrong, and I hated him very much.

Qin Shihuang is different from Jing Ke. He put down the emperor's shelf to enjoy life. He soon became interested in my laptop. After he thought I was a good person, he played with an external mouse without authorization. I sighed "yoyo" while playing, and looked around the screen around, and then I realized that he thought the mouse would follow the manual operation because it was held by a thin wire. He played with the mouse for a while, and made the first request with me: he wants to shit.

　　 Yesterday I have taught Jing Ke to use the toilet to urinate, and I have accumulated a certain amount of experience, knowing that I just need to tell them to get all the dirty stuff in. I put Fatty Winning in front of the toilet, put down the cushion, and let him sit down firmly. It was useless for me to teach. After a loud noise, the whole toilet was filled with a thousand-year-old smelly ammonia. Fatty Winning was also very sorry and waved at me again and again. .

　　 I'm not afraid of smelly, I am most afraid that he wakes up Jing Ke, Jing Ersha is in the bedroom opposite the toilet. People who have dealt with idiots may have this experience: whatever they recognize, they will be particularly stubborn. Yesterday I had put away Jing Ke's clothes, but when I tried to disarm him, I was refused.

This reminds me of many things. First, I can’t let them meet. Second, it seems that I have to prepare a few more sets of clothes. Third, I have to prepare a "presidential suite" for Qin Shihuang. The only house I have now is Jing Ke. The warehouse next door is out.

Hearing a crash, Qin Shihuang rushed out with his pants and ran downstairs. At the same time, Jing Ke came out of the room with the zipper open, his eyebrows stunned, and he peeed on his hips. , He sniffed and glanced at me dissatisfied.

I ignored him. I hurried downstairs to see what happened to Qin Shihuang. I saw him staring at the roof with his chin in a daze. He told me, "Hungry. I'm all **** off (go), I'm hungry (scared), thinking that my mouth (this) is flooded." After he finished speaking, he ran upstairs again, got into the toilet, staring at The yellow liquid rippling in the toilet was puzzling. Jing Ke probably returned to the room again.

　　 I'm crazy, I didn't expect such a vulgar plot to happen to me, I simply yelled: "Brother Jing, Brother Ying, you all come here!"

Jing Ke and Qin Shihuang poked their heads out of the room and toilet at the same time and said, "What's wrong?" Then the two people found each other almost at the same time, and then slammed the door with "Ah" at the same time. When I was confused about the situation, I saw that Jing Ke had already raised the knife and rushed out again. It turned out that he was going to get the knife.

Qin Shihuang is not stupid, knowing that it is not in his hall now, and that Zhao Gao is helping him, and he didn't bring his pottery sword. At this time, he saw the wisdom of the emperor. He actually knew how to slam the door lock and hold the handle. , But Jing Ke could only slash horizontally and vertically with a dagger. After a while, he pierced the door of my toilet into a triangle-shaped hole. From this hole, he could clearly see Qin Shihuang, and he put one eye together. Go up and shout loudly: "You come out!"

As I said, Jing Ke has very serious astigmatism. He looked in with one eye, and the other eye seemed to be spying on my actions. Then I remembered what I should do. I pulled out from under the sofa in the living room. A slab (why is there a slab under the sofa in my living room?) held it in his hand, and sternly said: "The surname Jing, if you don’t throw your knife away, I’ll take the slab and lift your front face. Son!"

Jing Ke saw that I was holding a square thing in my hand, and the red light was dazzling (this brick was washed very clean by me), and he didn't know what immortal treasure it was. Looking for a handful of talcum powder in the toilet, and threw it out along the hole, Jing Ke let out a strange cry, threw a dagger, covered his eyes and rubbed it.

I'm so angry, I hurried to take the dagger first, Qin Shihuang also threw talcum powder out in a handful, I opened the door, grabbed his neck and pulled him out, and threw him on the sofa. Leading Jing Ke to wash his eyes by the pool. When I returned with his hand, I felt like an aunt in the middle class of the kindergarten. I put Jing Ke on the opposite sofa and put mineral water and water between them. The ashtray said earnestly: "Is there anything I can't say well, I have to fight and kill, and it's not in my previous life..." Speaking of this, I suddenly remembered that they did have enemies in their previous life, so I immediately changed my mouth and said, "Actually There is no hatred between the two of you, am I right?"

　　 Qin Shihuang nodded desperately, and Jing Ke said angrily: "Then he killed me in the end. UU reading www.uukanshu.com" Qin Shihuang said unwillingly, "Who did it first?"

I threw the bricks on the table and said loudly, "What is the noise! ​​Don't see where this is?" Both of them shrank their heads and silenced, and I lit a cigarette, and then said cheerfully: "It doesn't matter who is sorry, that's all in the previous life. What is this place, huh? This is a place for you to enjoy, and it's only a year, you don't want to cherish it." Qin Shihuang lowered his head, Jing Ke's eyes were red. Looked at me.

　　 "Come, shake hands, everyone will be good friends in the future-obedient."

　　 This time I won the fat man and stretched out his hand first. It seems that the emperor is powerful, and Jing Ke shook his hand helplessly.

This pair of enemies was finally dealt with temporarily by me, and I found out a set of clothes for Qin Shihuang to put on. After all, he was a person who had seen the world. The clothes knew that the quality was better than his. Jing Ke told him that underwear should be worn underneath. At that time, Ying elder brother followed kindness and expressed his friendship with Jing Ke by the way.

Then our three brothers (wouldn’t you be awkward?) cleaned the warehouse, and I moved a simple spring bed inside, temporarily serving as Qin Shihuang’s presidential suite. Qin Shihuang’s curiosity is many times stronger than Jing Ke’s, he asked this question After the talk, Jing Ke answered him for me: "This is the immortal world, you don't understand it."

　　Mentality is everything. Winning Fatty soon became addicted to TV. Originally, he watched Han Fei, the commentary of "Hundred Scholars Forum", so I hurriedly changed him to another channel and let him watch "Meteor Garden".

　　 The upstairs finally calmed down. I was playing with Jing Ke's knife, but when I went downstairs, I found that my deputy manager, Lao Pan, was already waiting for me.