dancer on the knife

At first I thought I was a person detached from the world, but when the news of the demolition spread throughout the village, and when others built houses one by one, under the pressure of the environment and the good advice of my relatives, I also began to decide to live in the village. Building a house in a third hometown that is not my hometown and not Changsha.

Without any preparation at all, they began to raise money to build a house.The land was given by my father-in-law. Although it is not big, it is more than enough to build a house. In addition, it is next to the road, so the transportation cost will be much lower.

At that time, I really didn’t have much money in my hands, and the company’s earnings were not enough for the company’s daily expenses, and it was still in debt.There are probably only tens of thousands of yuan in funds that can be allocated, and with the addition of tens of thousands of yuan from parents, the initial start-up funds can be regarded as obtained.

The biggest advantage of building a house is that it is not a one-time investment, but a gradual investment.The purchase of materials is also done in batches, and the payment of wages is also paid in stages. In addition, the company's operation is still constantly flowing in, so the pressure of building a house in the early stage is relatively small, and it can be handled.

I want to work to make money, so I can only let my lover go home to take care of it, including buying various materials, and my father-in-law and mother-in-law are also busy helping out.The only thing I have to do is to send the money back.As for the details of building the house and what materials to buy, I basically have no idea, and I will let my lover make the decisions.The biggest contradiction in building a house is that the husband and wife have their own ideas, which lead to many conflicts. I really don't have the heart to take care of this matter. The company's mess is enough to make me overwhelmed.

Since I bought a lot of materials and put them near the building, in order not to be stolen, my father-in-law and mother-in-law built a shed near the construction site at night to help us keep the materials.In July and August, the nights are hot and there are many mosquitoes. Although the mosquito coils are effective, it is still inevitable to be bitten.Thinking that my father-in-law and mother-in-law have already worked a lot helping build the house, and I can't afford to suffer this crime, so I bought a tent and a rechargeable fan online.No matter what, they can't cool their hearts.

When the first floor of the house was about to be built, I made a special trip back and saw the masters busy laying bricks. I felt a sense of accomplishment in my heart, and the picture of a house appeared in front of my eyes.It's just that I have never participated in specific house building matters, and I won't live here often in the future, so I have the illusion that it is not my house.I took a lot of photos of the building when it was built, which is regarded as a souvenir. Perhaps, in a few years, it will be razed to the ground and other buildings will be built.

Back in Changsha, I continued to devote myself to the crazy life of earning money. It turns out that pressure can really stimulate a person's potential.When you need to pay for building a house every now and then, when the company's monthly rent, employee wages, rental hotel venue fees, trainer transportation and travel, etc. Struggle is difficult.These realities will push a person forward to the greatest extent and push a person to the limit.This kind of tight life makes people feel very tired. Sometimes they fall asleep after eating, and it is even more normal to fall asleep while sitting on the sofa.

Young people trade their bodies for money, and old people trade their bodies for money. The two types of people seem to understand each other, but it seems difficult to truly understand.Every day when I drag my tired body back home, I only have one thought, and that is to sleep.The tiredness in my heart cannot be adjusted by rest. Fortunately, I am a hardcore code word lover, and each article has become the best way for me to relieve stress.In the process of typing every word, the emotions have found an outlet.When I encounter extreme distress, I write it in my diary, regardless of the format or style of writing, I can write whatever I think, and I don’t need to take into account how others see it, because only I can see it.

In addition to writing, music and playing the piano are all ways to help me decompress.I also wanted to light a cigarette many times, but I really didn't have that interest. I also wanted to go to the bar to have fun, but I didn't like the environment either.We choose the most economical and environmentally friendly means of decompression that are in line with our own characteristics.Life under high pressure, if there is no outlet to release the pressure, people will collapse.Standing on the balcony of the office, overlooking the city, a nameless sadness wells up in my heart. This is the real taste of life.

I am afraid of receiving a call from my lover, because I am afraid that I will have to pay for materials again; I also want to receive a call to hear about the new progress of the house.Man is always a contradictory body, spending day after day in mutual struggle.

The house was built up layer by layer, and the wrinkles on the face deepened one by one.Under the heavy pressure, I became puffy, and my weight increased by dozens of catties.Originally too thin, I have longed for tens of catties of flesh countless times, and now I wear a suit more stylishly, but when I really own it, I also feel a little lost in my heart.

When the decoration is completed and the furniture purchased, the house is considered completed.Standing in the field and looking at this house, I have mixed feelings.I should be happy, anyway, this is my house, but thinking that it will be wiped out in the near future and become piles of abandoned buildings under the excavator, it is inevitable that there will be a sense of loss in my heart.

When I moved into my new home, I didn't feel very happy, but felt like living in a hotel.In this city that I am not very familiar with, where I seldom live, even when I barely showed my face when building the house, I lack basic emotions for this house.From then on, I will stay for a few nights every year during the holidays, and then I will leave in a hurry, which is no different from staying in a hotel.Many times, I have been thinking, what does such a house have to do with me?It doesn't feel like this is my house at all.

As a house that is rarely lived in, it is naturally lacking in popularity, but you can vaguely find a little taste of home, that is, the kitchen, bathroom, room and other necessary equipment are all available.But after all, I didn't live here for a long time, and it couldn't be called a home. From the bottom of my heart, I never thought it was my home, at most it could be regarded as my own house.

There is a popular saying on the Internet: Where there is work, there is no home, and where there is home, there is no job.Having stayed in the city to work after graduation, the understanding of this sentence is naturally penetrating.Although I lived in a rented house before and my family talked and laughed together, I felt that this was my home. Even though it was not my own house, I really felt the warmth of home.

What is home?Different people have different understandings, but I think that when you are tired from running around outside, you always want to return to the place where you can rest, which can bring happiness to people. A warm place is home.Owning a house does not mean owning a home. The most important thing about a home is to have family members, to have the smell of life, and to have a warm feeling.No matter how big the house is, no matter how luxuriously decorated it is, without the company of family members and laughter, this is not a real home.When a house has popularity and people who love each other, it will have the taste of home.If in a house, the families finally confront each other violently, and there is a small quarrel every three days and a big quarrel every five days, is such a home still a home?If you are away from home, you never want to go back to your own house and hide if you can. Is such a home still a home?So a house is not the same as a home.

The world of adults is like a vast and huge history, and others only see the part they want to see.Just like my old family saw that I had a house in the city, but they couldn't see the bitterness of raising money behind it.During the Spring Festival, I stood on the balcony and looked at this city that I don’t come to very often, and watched the demolition not far away approaching step by step, with expectations and worries.This kind of scene is very familiar, just like I often stand at the window of the office, looking at the Xiangjiang River not far away, thinking, thinking, worrying, and joy in my heart.