Su Shuang's world is collapsing [Comprehensive]

Because he has been hiding in the shadows and watching her for so long, so long that he can almost guess her ulterior motives.

This girl's love, like her character and belief, is stubborn and unshakable.

How abominable.exasperating.

The Shinsengumi will eventually belong to Hichikata-kun.What about her?Is that also the case?

He always felt that he was sober and rational.

Although I had a good impression of the team member "Qingyuan" at first, he always had a gentle and tolerant attitude towards others, and he didn't treat her that much special; later, he fought side by side in the Wufu house in Osaka, and eventually injured his arm and caused He couldn't hold the sword, and he didn't mean to blame her, because it wasn't that she didn't work hard enough or showed a flaw that hurt him, but because of the rare sudden situation that his Taidao broke from it; although he hated his own Bad luck, and he will not wantonly shift the responsibility on others, that is not his style.

In the end, the secret that she was actually a woman was exposed, and Hijikata was furious, but he found it a bit playful and interesting.Isn't it a great talent for a woman to perform better than most of the male players in the Shinsengumi?

He was willing to give her more chances to show off, that's why he interceded for her on the day of the Ikeda house incident to lift her from confinement and let her play.It turned out afterwards that her performance that night definitely did not disappoint his trust.But at that time, his feelings for her were nothing more than appreciation for an outstanding team player.

It wasn't until the day when he drank the water that he changed, that she really left a special impression on him.

Afterwards, he couldn't stop caring more and more about her until he finally realized that her eyes were all on Hijikata.

At that time, his feelings were very complicated, with a hint of anger, a hint of disbelief, and a hint of absurdity; because although Hijikata was handsome, her temper was definitely not good, even if she was a woman, she behaved very well , It's not easy to make any mistakes, but the moment when Tufang usually yells at her all over the place doesn't happen.Moreover, she is not the kind of little girl who blindly worships big heroes, nor does she dream of living by a big man with a brave posture; in his opinion, the reason why she has those redundant emotions for Hijikata is simply incomprehensible.

Don't women all pursue the feeling of gentle treatment, careful consideration, warm emotion, and strong support?Hijikata usually yells and reprimands, and gives the most severe orders with a straight face. He is demanding on colleagues and subordinates. When Shinsengumi is in financial difficulties and is stretched, even food and other expenses have to be meticulously saved. The most enthusiastic expression to other people in the Shinsengumi is "Shidou is not enlightened, go to harakiri" - and, the most incredible thing is that she clearly saw that the only woman Hijikata would treat with a gentler attitude is not her, but Yukimura Chizuru; in this case, she will also persistently favor him and follow him?What kind of incomprehensible emotion is at work here? !

With all his sobriety and rationality, all his wisdom and mind, he couldn't analyze why her confused emotion came about, and what it would eventually develop into.

But she was too clumsy, stupid and clumsy, she would rather grit her teeth and bear all the pain, and never show the slightest pleading intention.She will not weakly succumb to her own emotions, beg others to give her a little sympathy or love, nor will she wait for the care of others like a timid little flower; she is stubborn, stubborn, and desperate Even when his eyes were red, he would not take a step back, even if he stood on the edge of a desperate cliff, he would not kneel down and beg for a way out - such a desperate person made him involuntarily have a feeling called compassion, thinking To help her, to see her get what she wanted a little bit once or twice——

So he mercifully left the village after sunset that day and rushed to Shimabara, wanting to see if he really left Chizuru Yukimura alone in the corner house after Hijikata-kun took her away. Is she really in danger, and can he arrive in time to help——

In the end, what he saw was indeed a girl who was abandoned in a corner room.However, what he saw was also a tenacious, beautiful, and heart-wrenching girl who was alone in the corner house facing the unsuccessful rogues, fought bravely and won.

Her tenacious willpower and vitality, in his eyes, seemed to be shining for a moment.

No, it would be better to say that at that moment, he actually felt that the brilliant lights of the entire Shimabara were dimmed; in his field of vision, only her was shining, so warm, so bright, not flickering like a candle, Only his unwavering persistence reflected him as a ferocious monster hiding in the darkness, which made him feel particularly embarrassed and hard to hide.

...he just wanted to be close to that beam of light.It doesn't matter if it is burned to ashes in an instant.He had been crawling, rolling, twisting, and tormented in the darkness for so long, and it was really hard for him not to get close to such a warm and tenacious beam of light.

Oh, how strange.

At the risk of being recognized, he hurried to Shimabara that night, originally intending to help her.

But in the end, he was the one who was saved.

Perhaps, it cannot be regarded as salvation.Before that day, and since that day, he has always been in the deepest darkness, and he did not struggle out in the end, until that night in Sendai City was reduced to ashes.

However, from that day on, he knew what vitality should be like, what kind of emotions should be like tenderness, strength, persistence, firm belief, mutual trust and understanding of all the good things in the world.

He knew what light and warmth should be like.

Because he thought of these past events that seemed like a world away, he laughed dumbly.But he didn't let go of her intentions, just maintained such an ugly posture, looking down at her face condescendingly.

He didn't know how she came here—whether she was like him, drifting around in a daze after death, and when he opened his eyes again, he found himself waking up in the room of the Shinsengumi village, and there was a sound coming from the courtyard. The sound of clashing swords and swords when Shinpachiwa tried to join the chief executive, and the chatter and laughter of other people?

He had meant to ask.But it turns out that it doesn't really matter.The important thing is that this time fate seems to have finally favored him, cared for him, and pushed her in front of him again.

This time, there is no "Hijikata Toshizo" she admires here.The faces of the others are a little strange - but after Shannan woke up, he somehow felt that he had impressions of these faces in his mind, as well as of what had happened in this world; it was as if he had been with her before Everything in the world he lived in disappeared like a dream—he didn't know if she felt the same way after seeing those people, but he had an intuition that this "Hijikata" here Three" may still make her admire or admire, but the emotion between men and women will not arise.

He opened his mouth, and finally swallowed back what he really wanted to say—something that was too late to say now, and said calmly:

"No, I didn't help you with anything."

He let go of one hand, and tentatively used that hand to lightly brush the loose hair from her temples that had become loose due to the confusion just now; the strength of his hand was extremely gentle, like a feather brushing Like her hair, there are hardly any traces left.

"When you are struggling to survive, when you are left in danger in the name of missions for various reasons... I can't do anything for you. I can't even hold a knife to support you..."

His tone was gentle and melancholy, as distant as a vague dream.

"Now that I think about it, it's not that you trust me, but that I always rely on you..."

"Always entrust you with the most dangerous tasks, because I feel that others are not brave enough or wise enough... But when you are really in danger, I have not been able to send you reliable manpower in time to support you ..."

"I only say a few beautiful words afterwards to cheat your gratitude. I feel a little disgusted even thinking about it..."

"As the head of the Shinsengumi, he always hides behind you, grabs you like a poor guy, and relies on your courage, trust, hard work and even extraordinary ability to solve those difficulties..."

ah ah.Originally, he didn't want to expose the weakness and darkness in his heart, nor did he want to expose such an unbearable side to her; however, for some reason, those words gushed out of his mouth like running water, and he couldn't restrain it at all.

But the next moment, he felt that the wrist of his hand that was wandering on her temple was suddenly held by her.The pair of eyes she stared at him were still clear and bright, and there was no disgust, retreat, shock or shadow in the black crystal-like pupils.

"Mr. Shannan has done a great job..." she said.

Shannan:! ! !

He was stunned, he could only stiffen his body, and just listened to her voice quietly.

"Whether before or after the injury, I will do my best for the sake of the Shinsengumi, even sacrificing my reputation and life..."

"I am already in such pain, stuck in the dark against the power of Rakshasa, watching my life go by bit by bit, and always remember to be considerate of other people's feelings, and think for others..."

"You used to speak ill of me because you realized that you don't have much time left, so you don't want me to get close to you again, so as not to be too sad when the separation really comes...?"

Shannan:? !

He opened his eyes wide behind the glasses in amazement, never would have thought that she would frankly mention the quarrel that broke out between them before he went to Sendai, and also accurately guessed what he was trying to hide at that time!

"Because an evil ghost like me is not worthy of anyone's concern... It is my own choice to drink the Ruosi water. Even if my life ends early, I can face it calmly. I shouldn't let others feel sorry for my choice. Pain..." he murmured.

"No, Mr. Shannan is not an evil spirit." He heard her gentle and calm voice, interrupting him again.

"Mr. Shannan, just like the gentle, elegant, skilled, and knowledgeable big brother next door that every girl dreams of." She actually changed her voice and said this in a half-joking, half-serious tone.

Shannan:? !

He looked at her in surprise.

Then I heard her say words—the words that made the heart in his chest that had been silent for many years beat violently.

"...It is the object that every little girl will seriously yearn for." She said.

The author has something to say:

February 5:

In order to avoid another long speech

I'm going to speed up a little [.

That's why I don't dare to write Shinsengumi

Every time I write about a different person, I find that there is a lot of room for in-depth discussion [Tan Shou

Next update: or every other day, at midnight on the 9th.

感谢在2020-05-0423:07:02~2020-05-0622:14:59期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the landmine: Gui Heshen 2;

Thanks to the little angel of the irrigation nutrient solution: 13 bottles of zero degree; 2 bottles of Nana's cat;