independent filmmaker

Xie Lansheng's heart tightened suddenly.

Many pictures came one after another.

In the VIP building of the Beijing Hotel, Xin Ye pushed a card, and when he asked for the card password, he smiled half-smile and said, "It's your birthday."

On the plane to Turin, he rested his fingertips on the front seat and remained motionless for hours while his head rested on his shoulder.

Before the venue of the film festival, Xin Ye disregarded the face of the "Actor" and posted advertisements on the big trees on both sides of the road with himself.

At the screening meeting of the film festival, he put his arms on the backrest and let himself sleep for a while, and he just came to help stare.

In the clothing store on Roma Street, Xin Ye squatted in front of the big mirror, tidying his ankles and tying his own tie.

In the coffee shop called PassionCafe, he argued with Bill, and finally got the precious "20 pounds sales agreement".

On the banks of the Po River on a snowy day, Xinye took up his umbrella and walked with him, chatting all the way at the foot of the majestic snow mountain.

In the Italian Film Museum, he wiped away his tears and said to himself, "There will be someone who loves you, cherishes you, and respects you."

In the gold medal chocolate shop, Xinye suddenly wiped his lips with his fingers, and tasted the top sweet together.

At the airport on his return home, he bought the "national treasure" Baci, saying that the word means "deep kiss" and "plural" in Italian.

……

Scene after scene, Xie Lansheng understood everything.

I was so dull.Moreover, if Xin Ye didn't say it directly, he would never understand.

He didn't think about it.

Gay, too far away.

These people should be in movies, in novels, in parks, public toilets, or even in the police station.They can appear on all occasions like ghosts, except standing in front of themselves and gently saying that he loves him.

But when "shouldn't" happened, Xie Lansheng didn't hate it.He is a literary artist, and he is rebellious in his bones. In his freshman year, he also smoked, drank, dyed his hair and got tattoos.He knows that in art, all "greatness" starts from subversion, and they pursue the independence and freedom of the human soul.

Moreover, I have to say that Xin Ye's sentence "They just happened to fall in love with a soul of the same sex" touched him deeply.All those who do literature and art are eager to get rid of the body and pursue eternity. It is also for this reason that countless artists in history have chosen to commit suicide-the body is just a shell, so what is it?

Xie Lansheng thought that Xinye actually understood him very well, so Xinye chose to ask him out to tell the truth.Xinye knew that it was unrealistic to wait for him to take the initiative to have "love" for him, so he expressed his thoughts, and as a rebellious filmmaker himself, he would not hate him, but knew his feelings, Thank him for his feelings, regard him as a possibility, and carefully consider where this relationship came from and where it should go at every time point, instead of being ignorant and ignorant from beginning to end and only treating each other as friends.

Xin Ye was not mistaken.If it wasn't for this time and this place, Xie Lansheng also thought that he would not block the road immediately, and would not say "I can only like women, never like men" - what about the body?What about instinct?Although Xie Lansheng has always thought that girls are very cute, more beautiful, more delicate, more sensitive, and more fragile, the possibility of him choosing "woman" is 99.9%, and the possibility of choosing "man" is 0.1%, but no prevent him from thinking.He doesn't completely rule out the possibility of falling in love with a man.

But now... Wang Xianjin said that Xin Ye was "banned" for at least two years, at most four years, and possibly four years.

Xin Ye has not developed here - he criticizes the system in Hong Kong, and the government will definitely not use him.There are studios for regular movies, but for informal movies... only you.

Let Xin Ye only make movies for himself in the next four years, just because he may have a 0.1% chance of falling in love with him?This is ridiculous! ! !Xinye is one of the "Big Three" film stars, he has already reached the pinnacle of honor, and the "God of Gamblers" movie in the first half of the year ranked first in the box office in Hong Kong. What can he do if he only makes movies for himself?As a new director, he doesn't even know the fate of his next film!Take a ten thousand step back, even if you successfully enter the competition and sell the copyright, it is still a niche film. How many people will watch Chinese films in foreign art theaters? !Xin Ye should be seen, he should be shining, and he should go to the top of the pyramid of Chinese actors.What's more, unlike photography and recording, actors must choose roles. Xin Ye can choose the most suitable ones from all over the world, including the United States, Europe, Hong Kong, and Taiwan, and create more classic characters instead of just shooting himself - There are only one actor who has played a good role for several years.Besides, he didn't need Xin Ye to play the leading role in his next film.

Is it possible for Xin Ye to take care of all the future, just for the 0.1% "love each other"?Is this charity?

Xie Lansheng felt that Xin Ye was only 21 years old after all, and he had just graduated from Harvard for half a year. No matter how easy he was at his job, no matter how talented he was at his "part-time job", he was always reckless and fearless in his relationship. Or there are other things, such as passion, such as reform, but they don't think about themselves at all.

But Xie Lansheng couldn't bear it.

It is impossible for him to tie up Xin Ye for four years because of that "0.1%".

How long is an actor's life? Being in your early 20s is just brilliant.

He can't bear it.

"Xin Ye," made up his mind, Xie Lansheng's voice was a little bleak in the winter, he said, "Do you want to go back to the United States first?"

Xin Ye visibly froze.

Xie Lansheng continued: "This is what I want to say."

Xinye stood up, looked down at Xie Lansheng, put his hands in his pockets, and asked, "Is this for my relationship, or for my career?"

"All of them." Xie Lansheng only looked at his toes, but not at Xin Ye, gritted his teeth, and said cruelly, "I can't accept men, I just feel very troubled."

In an instant, there was deathly silence between the two.

"Xinye, thank you for your liking," Xie Lansheng said, "but I only like women, girls who are beautiful and fragrant. Then why don't you say goodbye, otherwise, you will have wrong expectations." If you don't say it directly, you will die , he worried that he would not want to leave.

Xin Ye still did not speak.

"Let's talk about your career." Xie Lansheng's voice was cold, "What specific plans do you have for the next four years?"

"Pat yours, pat that shit. Besides, if you won a big prize in Turin, there will be people going this way." Sure enough, Xinye didn't care.

Xie Lansheng chuckled: "The male lead in my next film will be over 50 years old at the beginning, and Sun Fengmao's male lead will continue to be a "children", and the next film will be similar."

Lan Sheng paused, and then continued: "Wait for others... Is this reliable? The 8-year ban has already been issued-will someone really take the risk? It must be wait and see. Take ten thousand steps back, these four years, really There are people going this way again, how many will it be? Two? Three? Can any of them be outstanding enough to meet expectations? When will he appear? There are too many variables. Xin Ye, don’t say, any You take all the newcomers. It’s ridiculous. Moreover, every director has his or her own hero, Xin Ye, no matter how good your acting skills are, it’s not suitable for all movies—you know what people want to shoot? And go back to the United States …It’s different. Hollywood is in its golden age, and Hong Kong is also in its golden age, you can speak both Chinese and English, and as a top actor you can develop more there.”

Xinye raised his head and looked at the sky: "I have thought about what you said. Being a producer is also a choice during the intermission of being an actor. I can help sell the copyright."

Without hesitation, Xie Lansheng interrupted Xinye again: "Stop talking. I'm not Hollywood. A producer is useless, so I can only sell copyrights. But, Xinye, you like me, don't you?" I like to sell copyrights, and I don’t like to sell copyrights to just one person for several years. Overkill...Xin Ye, can you say that you really love selling copyrights?"

Xinye couldn't answer.

of course not.

"What you really love is acting. I still remember what you said." Xie Lansheng said, "When you sent the film to Australia, you said that acting was boring when you just graduated from Harvard, but after four months of getting along with you Your views have changed. You also said that your level is far from enough. You still need to observe all kinds of people, understand their different positions, and then exaggerate and magnify them with the skills you have figured out. This is very interesting ( Chapter 20)."

"..."

"So now, are you satisfied with wasting your time as a producer for me?"

Xie Lansheng knew that Xinye might want to start his own film company after the Chinese film market, maybe 4 years later, maybe 8 years later, maybe 12 years later, maybe even longer, but that's not the same as doing "sales". Totally different, worlds apart.

"..."

"Xinye, my level is limited. You should go to film with famous directors and learn. Since you like to be an actor, take advantage of your age to hone your acting skills as much as possible. Those big directors are different. I can help you more than I can." He is just a student of Nortel, and he is still young and immature, so how can he make Xinye's career progress?

"Lan Sheng..."

"Xinye," Xie Lansheng was still looking at Huangtu, "You should go back to the United States tonight. You are too arrogant in Hong Kong. One is not good. If you lose your passport, you will not be able to go back to the United States. Your family is all in America, is this really all right?" Xie Lansheng's passport is gone, and Xin Ye's passport is also gone, although this may be very low.

Xinye still couldn't respond.

"Don't come back when you go back." Xie Lansheng continued, "Make those movies well, don't always think about coming here."

"I--"

"Xinye," Xie Lansheng finally said cruelly, "I won't see you again, absolutely. It's useless for you to come to China. You know me, and I will do what I say."

At the end: "That Hollywood movie is going to start soon? It is said that it will take a year to shoot? Hurry up and sign, don't hesitate."

Xinye is willing to settle down, for love, for other things, but Xie Lansheng has no way to let Xinye come here to "test" him - to see if he can develop.

If I agree with him to come, Xinye will use various reasons to stay in China for a long time, and filming in the United States will make me feel uneasy.Moreover, according to Xinye's bizarre temperament of "thinking about it, thinking about it", Xie Lansheng is really afraid that he will make some monsters again.

He 99.9% doesn't like Xin Ye, why bother him.

It's better to stop thinking about it as soon as possible.

For the past four years, he will not see Xin Ye.

The love of a 21-year-old young man is ferocious when it comes, and drives away the lightning when it goes.In the unseen time, the adolescent hormones will subside to be clean and without trace.Or, maybe it's just a simple sexual attraction.

There should be several times in a person's life.I am like a radish, if it is pulled out suddenly, other radishes will immediately squeeze the hole.

On the opposite side, Xin Ye looked at Xie Lansheng and asked, "Is this what you hoped for?"

Xie Lansheng said, "Yes."

After hearing this, Xinye didn't speak for a long time.

Xin Ye felt his stomach was heavy.The pain that seemed to be materialized pulled his internal organs, and he could almost see its pitch-black color.It was as if he was standing on the seashore. The seawater was originally crystal clear, but suddenly a heavy anchor fell, and the bottom of the water instantly stirred up sand and mud, making the water turbid.

And Xie Lansheng also worked hard, not showing any concessions.He just looked at the loess in front of him, calm and unfeeling, not giving him a single glance.

A tight string was stretched between the two of them, and with a slight touch, the fragile string would break with a snap.

A silence resounded between the two of them.

In front of the Wanchun Pavilion, there was a large group of children running and jumping, laughing innocently, like countless little balls, rolling from here to there in an instant, and then rolling back from there to this side, carefree.

Five minutes passed, Xie Lansheng still didn't raise his eyes, Xin Ye knew his determination, and knew that he couldn't save anything no matter what.For the first time in his life, he felt "regret", regretting that he had confessed so rashly that he was pushed off the cliff and could not catch a leaf.

The sun went down completely.The golden-red light reflected in Xinye's eyes dimmed little by little, and finally turned into deep black.

In the quiet atmosphere, the Forbidden City has become unclear in layers, and some seem dark and gloomy. It is so resplendent during the day, but it is hidden in the thick night at this time.To the north, the lake under the White Pagoda is also dark, only reflecting artificial lights, looking at the sky like a wide open eye in the center of the city.

Gods seem to be living in the dark sky, and the other party has already known the fate of the two of them at this moment.

The sun went down and the sky suddenly became cold.The winter wind screamed like a whistle, and the soil on the top of the mountain gathered together to roll and jump on the ground, like a group of little black snakes.On the mountain, the trees are very close to the sky, grinding against the sky, creaking, like a broom sweeping.The beautiful clouds just now are like big black lumps, squeezing and rolling, as if they are eager to do something big, thousands of horses and horses are galloping from far to near.Xie Lansheng's small heat pack was completely cold at the moment, like ice.Occasionally, the wind blew across his cheeks, making his skin painful.

Xin Ye looked at Lan Sheng, and Lan Sheng looked at his feet.

For Xie Lansheng, this period of time counts like years.Finally, when the tourists had dispersed, Xie Lansheng heard Xin Ye say over his head: "I see."

Then Xin Ye turned around and went down the mountain.

The hem of his clothes fluttered, Xie Lansheng wanted to reach out to grab it, but restrained himself.

After Xinye left, Xie Lansheng silently smoked a cigarette in the dark.He inhaled the smoke fiercely, pressed it into his lungs, but didn't spit it out, just held it in, and then suddenly let out a long breath, and sprayed a big mouthful into the air, the smoke would cover his head, so that he would not be caught by others. See.

He hates himself.

…………

That night, Xinye returned to the United States.

In other words, he was forced back to the United States by Xie Lansheng.

It was December 1991, 12, and Xie Lansheng remembered it clearly.

Because, just four days later, when Westerners celebrated Christmas, all the streets and alleys in China were talking about one thing-the Soviet Union, which had a very special meaning for every Chinese, disintegrated.

Gorbachev resigned, and the Soviet "Big Brother" was wiped out.

Xie Lansheng also couldn't help thinking: In the world of mortals, there is unity and separation, people gather and others disperse, nothing lasts forever.

This world looks big, but in fact there are so many reasons. It is nothing more than being able to be together or not being together. It is very simple. You should get used to it long ago. Literati will hurt the spring and autumn sorrows and sighs, and use different words to say the same thing. thing.

Xinye will soon forget him.

(Part1 "1991" End)

The author has something to say: Part1 "1991" is finished, and Part2 "1995" will begin immediately.

don’t worry!The actor will come out again soon!We have the magic of time! !

In reality, private enterprises can enter the film industry in 2003.

In Part1, the only thing that was completely "overhead" was that the actors were also blocked.

In addition, all the things that happened at different times (banned from filming, passport confiscated) were all greeted, and 8 years is relatively long (I like this number...).

Going to Australia to do post-editing and selling the film to the European continent may be a bit awesome!But fortunately, in reality, there were later, but not so early, between 1993 and 1995.

【1995】