waiting for the flowers to bloom

The author has something to say: I am very sorry, due to some objective and subjective reasons, the author has to suspend for two days... There will be no updates on the 10th and 11th, and I will come back on the 12th! !

This day happened to be Friday, and there were not many students in the school, at least compared to domestic universities, it was pitifully few.

Several students of Song Fanfan's same period share an office, and everyone is leaving now, because a happy weekend is coming.

He went to his desk to tidy up, took some things and decided to go home.Because of Sui Dong's appearance, he really wasn't in the mood that day.

Because Song Fanfan didn't stop him, Sui Dong just followed behind Song Fanfan cheekily, and the two of them had nothing to say all the way.

Finally, Song Fanfan had to go back by bus, so Sui Dong asked, "Where do you live?"

"It has nothing to do with you?"

"Can I visit your house?"

After standing by the station and thinking for a while, Song Fanfan finally made a decision, "Forget it, you can walk back with me, I have something to buy."

Unexpectedly, Song Fanfan would agree. By the time Sui Dong reacted, Song Fanfan had already walked more than ten meters away.He suppressed the joy in his heart and followed. Although Song Fanfan still ignored him, it was already very good for Sui Dong. Originally, he thought that he would not even be able to see Song Fanfan today.

Song Fanfan bought some things along the way, and Sui Dong wanted to show his kindness to help him carry them without arguing with him, so he stopped and stopped all the way, and it was past five o'clock when he arrived at the door.Song Fanfan opened the door and turned sideways, and Sui Dong followed him in.

The house is small, but it looks very comfortable. There are creepers lying sparsely on the old-fashioned walls. From the outside, it looks like a typical European-style cottage with two floors.

"Does this kind of house have two rooms or three rooms? Do you live alone?"

"No."

"You shared the rent with your classmates?"

"This house belongs to an old lady. She lived here alone, and later rented it to me to live with her. She went on a trip with her friends last month."

"When are you coming back?"

"I don't know, she often goes out, the time is not sure."

"Oh." Sui Dong nodded thoughtfully, and put the things he bought on the table. "Can I turn around?"

"Just don't go to the old lady's room, the one with the Christmas tree on the door."

"Okay." With Song Fanfan's permission, Sui Dong felt relieved to visit the room.

Song Fanfan's bedroom is in the corridor on the second floor, next to it is a typical small attic room, just like the picture in a fairy tale book, but there is no one living here, and it is full of sundries.

The bedroom is not big, but it is clean and comfortably furnished: turquoise curtains are hung casually, a lamp with a white cover is placed on the table in front of the window, and there are two single beds on both sides of the table, only one bed Plain sheets and folded blankets.The cabinets are placed against the wall, facing the windows.The entire wall is covered with wallpaper in the color of crushed green leaves, and there is a simple chandelier above the head, which has a special charm in this warm room.

Sui Dong was indulging in this troublesome bedroom when Song Fanfan came up to him and called him, "Do you want some tea?"

"Okay, thank you." Sui Dong closed the door casually, "Your room is very beautiful."

"The old lady has a pair of twin daughters, and this is their original bedroom."

"Oh, it looks very comfortable."

"The tea is on the table, the dessert should be almost ready, please wait a moment."

Seeing Song Fanfan walk into the kitchen again, Sui Dong had no choice but to swallow his words again, and obediently sat back on the table to drink tea.He always felt that Song Fanfan brought him home for other reasons, because today was so smooth, he was a little panicked.

Sure enough, Song Fanfan brought the snacks and put them on the table, and said, "You came to England... just to see me?"

"En." Sui Dong nodded uncertainly.

"...Thank you. I...you saw it too, and you have been at home. Do you have anything else to do?"

Sui Dong looked at Song Fanfan, seeming to be thinking, "I want you to start over."

Song Fanfan looked at him helplessly, "Don't you understand what I said? I won't be with you..."

"I know I have done a lot of wrong things, I am sorry for you. But you believe me, this time I am serious, I really want to start over with you. So... just give me a chance? Don't always hide Follow me and give me a chance to make up for you."

"Sui Dong, I think you may have misunderstood. No matter what you did before, I don't want to care about it anymore, and I don't hold any grudges. I don't need you to make up for me."

Song Fanfan paused for a moment, then continued: "It turns out... I hated you, and I'm not reconciled to it, but that was in the past, and it doesn't matter anymore. You have your life, and I have mine. Now that we have Come to this point, why do you need to disrupt this kind of life? I don't want to know what you think in your heart. I like my current life very much. I don't need anyone to intervene. I'm living a very happy life now. satisfy."

"Why can't you give me a chance? Maybe we will be fine in the end? Do you not believe me, or...you really don't have any feelings for me?"

"Is there a difference?"

"Different."

Song Fanfan looked at him helplessly, and said, "I can't believe you...and I don't feel for you...it's been so long, and there's no need for us to quarrel anymore. I brought you here just to be with you Be clear. I don't care what you think. It might be selfish. But, can't we just live our own lives? It's the best choice for you, and for me. Those things in the past It's too complicated, and it's finally over, and I don't want to go back."

"It's not going back to the past, it's starting over."

Song Fanfan looked at Sui Dong who was praying in front of him, and never thought that one day he would see Sui Dong showing such an expression to himself, but for Song Fanfan, it was meaningless.

"What about Zhao Chengfang?"

Many people have asked Sui Dong this question. People who know that Sui Dong likes Song Fanfan have asked Sui Dong. What about Zhao Chengfang?In front of them, Sui Dong can confidently say that he likes Song Fanfan now, Zhao Chengfang is in the past, and Song Fanfan will definitely not mind a person who has passed away.

But when Song Fanfan asked him, Sui Dong didn't dare to raise his head. He didn't know how to describe Zhao Chengfang's feeling in his heart. Missing him, but all that remains is nostalgia, it's just Song Fanfan's problem, which always makes him a little bit unreasonable.

"I... really have nothing to do with him."

Seeing Sui Dong's uncomfortable hesitation, Song Fanfan showed a wry smile that he didn't even notice, and sure enough...

"Forget it, you don't need to say it. Just look at your expression."

"No. I really..."

Song Fanfan didn't want to listen to Sui Dong's affectionate speech anymore, so he interrupted him: "You don't need to explain to me, I understand your feelings for him. I'm sorry about his matter, but I really can't do anything. You... ..." Song Fanfan stopped suddenly, he didn't know if it was appropriate for him to say these words now.

Seeing Sui Dong staring at him, Song Fanfan continued hesitantly: "Although you haven't said it, I have already seen your feelings for him... That night, you knew that he died on the operating table, leaving everything behind. Put the blame on me... what were you thinking at that time?" Song Fanfan looked into Sui Dong's eyes, and smiled slightly, "I wondered why it wasn't me lying there?"

Hearing this sentence, Sui Dong tensed up, and his eyes were a little flustered. Song Fanfan saw everything in his eyes, and continued: "Now? Let me remind you of that day, isn't it still the same? Sad, or do you want to blame all the results on me?"

Sui Dong didn't expect Song Fanfan to bring up the incident of that night again, but when he asked him at this time, he felt a little sad: "No."

After a brief silence, "It's all my fault."

Song Fanfan felt a little relieved when he heard this answer, "If you thought the same way at the time, I would have no regrets. But Sui Dong, time will not go backwards, and that day can actually explain everything."

"But that's a long time ago."

"But that's the truth..."

Sui Dong was silent, Song Fanfan looked at him and said, "I really don't need you to do anything for me. I won't find out who is in your heart now, but I really want to ask you, can you... Don't appear in my life again."

"Really...you hate me that much?"

"It's not hating you. At that time, we were all wrong, but things were too complicated and messy to tell clearly."

"Then you don't feel anything for me?"

Song Fanfan sank, "I was sincere before, but it's been so long, it's already worn out. There are many people around you who like you, you are very good, but we can't do it anymore. Your conditions are so good , What are you looking for? If there is nothing else, you should go back quickly, we really don't need to see each other again. Even if it's my request, let me live the life I want, okay?"

"What if I don't go?"

Song Fanfan wanted to laugh helplessly, "I can't force you, I just said what I want to say, I don't care what you want. To me now, you are just someone I know."

Sui Dong thought that Song Fanfan would hate and loathe himself, but he couldn't stand Song Fanfan not caring about himself like this, so he begged himself not to appear again...

Sui Dong knew that he couldn't go on talking today, he was afraid that he couldn't help it, and then he and Song Fanfan would get into an embarrassment, "...Let's think about it again, give me some time. I'll go back first, you should have a good rest." After finishing, Sui Dong didn't stay for a moment, picked up the shoulder bag at the door, opened the door and left.

The night light first came on, but at this moment it seemed a little lonely, Sui Dong slowly dangled on the road, his heart was full of bitterness that was hard to calm down.He couldn't tell whether it was anger, unwillingness, sadness, or something else, all kinds of emotions rushed up from his chest at the same time... It made people feel sad.