The Paranoid Possessiveness of the Golden Strings Fanfic

I know, in fact I have always known.

But what do you know?

I know you like me, I also know that I like you, just want to bully you, just because you are less jealous when you are with me, just want to prove that you care about me.

You will never know that when I called you that day, I wanted to confess to you, but unexpectedly saw that you had greeted someone else with a smile on my face.

You will never know how much I regret later, if I convey my heart to you earlier, will it be able to stay in your heart forever.

You'll never know how much I want to hold you in my arms so you can only look at me when you cry and tell me your pain.

You will never know how much I loved you once.

We were both in love once, we were all in love once.

But it was the pride and pride of youth that made me lose you completely

I want to tell you so naturally——

----you are mine.

With the lonely turn of the male number two, time and the youth of the year were gently blown away by the wind by the sea.

In the dark seats, those sensitive girls secretly wiped away their tears. It was obvious that the second male lead happily retired, but many people cried.Shiina glanced indifferently at Azuma Yuzuki who was sitting beside her, and found that the latter was also looking at her with a smile on her face.

"You didn't cry."

Shiina felt a little uncomfortable with the expected tone.

"Yeah, I'm crying."

Shiina sobbed a few times intentionally, and then heard Yuki chuckle a few times, not sure if she was laughing at her sudden overflow of emotion or at her irrelevant behavior.

Either way it made Shiina feel bad for Christmas when she was 17, oh no, it was supposed to be.

After watching the movie, Shiina and Azuma Yuzuki walked on the bustling street. When they looked up, they could feel the fine snowflakes falling.It was still snowing at Christmas, but the streets at this time were not as quiet as in the past. The tranquility of the past was smashed by festival people, creating transparent ripples in the air.There seemed to be tiny ice crystals suspended in the air, and the wind blew past, making people too cold to open their eyes.

Shiina, who was trying to gain warmth, shrank her neck, and then quietly moved a little closer to the teak wood.But she felt that the distance seemed too short, so she slowed down again, and took a long distance as it should, but the distance seemed a little too far, and she didn't know that she would treat them as strangers.So Shiina adjusted back and forth several times, and finally found a suitable distance.

Although the distance that normal men and women should have is maintained, they are slightly closer than before.

Shiina was very satisfied with the distance that seemed neither familiar nor unfamiliar, but she obviously ignored the latter idea.

Yuki Azuma looked amusedly at Shiina's sudden approach, then opened the distance again, and came back several times unwillingly.Finally, seeing Shiina heaving a sigh of relief and following her three steps behind, she then walked with a look of peace of mind.

"Little girl, I have a question for you"

The sudden appearance of a new address made Shiina stunned for a long time, she thought it was some uncle on the way greeting her.Feeling the displeasure of the Demon King in front of her with belated awareness, she opened her mouth almost without hesitation.

"Please say."

"...How many steps do you think the distance is between strangers?"

"...Seven steps."

"Where are the acquaintances...?"

"Five steps."

Yuki looked at Shiina three steps later with some headaches, and stopped.Not surprisingly, Shiina also stopped moving because she stopped.He immediately wanted to tease her.

"What about the couple?"

"Hmm..." Shiina thought for a while, "One step?"

"Wrong answer, little girl." Azuma Yuzuki smiled lightly, and the white steam from the corner of his mouth rose little by little. He walked in front of Shiina, and his blurred face gradually became clear.

Without warning, she suddenly grabbed Shiina, and then continued on her way.

"This is the distance between lovers, little girl." She was full of smiles.

"Takaki, do you know the name of the first bomb dropped on Hiroshima?"

"...?"

"……little boy."

"..."

The snow is getting bigger and bigger, and the large expanses of white make the small town look lively and peaceful.Tiny ice crystals kept floating in the sky. When I was a child, I always thought that there must be angels living in that thick cloud. The white snow was the feathers falling from their wings. When they grew up, they were ruthlessly smashed by the nature teacher.Although naive, the angle of watching the world when he was young will always maintain a pure and gentle angle.

After holding on for a while, Shiina finally felt that this distance seemed not suitable for them now.She struggled to get out, but found that the other party's grip seemed to be tighter.Looking up, I found that the other party seemed to be thinking about something, and the beautiful eyebrows were tightly locked together.

"Can you let go...?" Shiina tried to fight for her innocence, because she had vaguely seen the envious and hostile eyes of the girls on the side of the road.

"Wait until I finish thinking." Teak seemed to be really thinking about something, and for a long time, they fell into a certain silence.

"Thinking about life..."

"Complicated than that."

"Oh oh oh?? Let's hear it" Shiina raised his eyebrows with great interest, what question could make Azuma Yuzuki think about it for so long and still haven't come to a conclusion, isn't he always going his own way and being arrogant and arrogant conclusion...

"About your address." Yuzuki Azuma raised her lips, and looked down at Shiina who was being forcibly held in her arms.

"..." What kind of question is this.

When walking into the roadside cafe, Shiina looked up at the signboard at the door.

Although she passed by every day and looked up, it was the first time for her to come here.The entire coffee shop is in the Baroque style of the [-]th century. Off-white carvings carefully appear on the corners of the escalators, the four corners of the wooden tables, and the chairs. There are light-colored flowers everywhere on the walls.The faint light shines on this small but tasteful small coffee shop.

"...Actually, you don't have to worry about it for so long." Seeing Azuma Yuzuki who hadn't spoken for a long time, Shiina took a sip of the steaming cocoa milk, and the warm and sweet taste reassured her.

"You can call me [Shiina] [Xiao Shiina] [Shiina Junior]" Shiina stretched out her fingers and counted, only to realize that her own address was terribly monotonous.This is probably because I have no friends, so I don't have extra titles to position myself.

When you are not understood by others, you must learn to seek reconciliation from the wider world, right?You have to learn to find resonance and warmth among friends, right?Is loneliness a good thing?maybe not.But if, as Wittgenstein said, "freedom, but loneliness", this matter is not unacceptable.

I have never asked more people for more understanding.But I want my freedom, the sweet moment, the same sweet pain, that's enough for me.

"...Miha." Azuma Yuzuki seemed to have noticed something, and he smiled faintly.He had been sitting slightly sideways before, always smiling when looking at Shiina.On his still soft face, when he frowned, fine lines like water waves gathered on his forehead.

The jasper-like light of tea was rippling in the coffee cup, and he held up the cup and took a sip carefully.

"...What did you call me just now?" Shiina came back to her senses, hearing the unexpected address.

"Miha." Yuzuki Azuma repeated it with affirmation, "I call you 'Miha'"

"Okay, okay, as long as you don't call me by that name in front of your bodyguards." Shiina secretly thought about it, if the bodyguards knew that she came out to celebrate with the so-called "Master Teakwood" at Christmas, would she still be punished? Affectionately called "Miyu".

Then there is only one ending for oneself, and that is to die without a whole body.

Never show off what you have, whether it is people or things, in front of a group of crazy women.

"Yeah, if I call you, I'm afraid you will be in trouble." Yuzuki Azuma smiled lightly, and then took a sip of black tea. "At the ball before, the guards didn't trouble you, did they?"

"It's still alive anyway." Shiina took a breath, thinking of the days after the dance, the guards' eyes on him changed.Although their main target was Hino Kahoko, but she was also blacklisted.

"You really are..." Yuki looked at Shiina helplessly, although she was smiling, it made Shiina dumbfounded.

Yuki Azuma is really interesting!I always like to speak in half.

It is this ambiguous attitude that makes people anxious.

"Have you seen "The Little Prince"?" Azuma Yuzuki accidentally caught a glimpse of a petite girl, her face was backlit, almost hidden in the darkness.

But the book in her hand attracted Azuma Yuzuki.

"I read it when I was a child, but..." Shiina sighed, not knowing how to answer.When I watched it for the first time when I was young, I didn't leave much impression, probably because I didn't understand it well.Only now do I realize how shocking those fabled dialogues, metaphors, and simple truths are.

"It is said that "The Little Prince" is actually a love letter written by St. Dixie Berri to his wife." Azuma Yuzuki smiled, as if he had expected it a long time ago.

"That's true. According to research, that rose is the incarnation of Anthony's wife Consuelo." Shiina interjected calmly.

"To him, she is that rose, unique in the universe..." He murmured with his hands behind his back, as if remembering something.

"My rose, a passer-by may think it is the same as you. But it alone is more important than all of you. Because I watered it myself. Because it was screened. Because it I got rid of the worms (except two or three that were left to turn into butterflies). Because I heard its pathos and its conceit, even its silence. Because it was my rose."

Shiina listened to Yuzuki Azuma retelling the original text without any surprise, he has the ability of this kind of memory.

"I like roses, it is very weak, but also very strong." Shiina said.

"It's really hard work for you to understand to this extent."

Yuki Azuma glanced at Shiina in surprise, and then satirized her gracefully.

Shiina still couldn't believe it. They actually discussed a fairy tale for almost the whole afternoon that day.Obviously I didn't do anything, but I can spend every time with you indifferently.Those intertwined youth in growing up, those memories that flowed into the tide, and those youthful scenes that passed away like a trance, frame by frame were fixed into black and white silent movies, which were played in a loop in my mind.

On the pine tree outside the window, the lanterns gave off a faint light, pushing the whole Christmas to the climax.The shadows of the trees reflected on the snow showed uneven shades of dark blue, like the color of a fountain pen.The snow-covered tree branches are against the light, and when viewed from the side, it looks like an ink-colored hollow paper-cut. Its background is still pure white.If you want to see a truly colorful world, you can only see the simplest two colors, just like the dark night is like ink, and the white snow is like a painting.

Because I promised my mother to go home, it's time to say goodbye.

Yuki Azuma is going abroad, and this may be the first and last Christmas with him.

In the end, it is really an unpleasant word.

So, who and where will Christmas next year be with?

"Merry Christmas, Teak." Shiina carefully took out a small crumpled box from her pocket.

"What is this? A Christmas present?" Yuzuki Azuma accepted the small box without hesitation and gently took out the gift, then burst out laughing.

"Evidently there is no door, but you gave me a key." He smiled and said, "You are really interesting."

There is a door, it's just that you didn't see it.It has always been in your heart, I just want to open it, even though I still have so many things on my mind that I have no time to say, even though we have only been together for one year, I can carve them deeply into every inch of memory .So I want to open the door in your heart, let you at least not forget my existence.

If after many years, I no longer occupy any corner of your heart, then I may cry.I remembered the words of the fox

"If you are domesticated, you may cry."

Shiina said this sentence unconsciously, only to realize that this kind of sadness does not make sense.I tried to find something to talk about, but I couldn't.

Quietly watching the falling snowflakes, speechless for a long time.

"Hey." Yuki Azuma pursed her lips and smiled, "Happy birthday, Miha."

Shiina looked at Azuma Yuzuki in surprise.

"How do you know my birthday?"

Because she has no friends, she never talks about it.

Yuki smiled, "How do you want me to answer?"

"..." Shiina shook her head, "I'd better not ask... so as not to be hit."

With a puff, Teak laughed, and then took out a beautifully wrapped gift from his pocket.It's the exact opposite of the one I bagged myself.

It's ironic that the world's malice can be seen from a single gift.

"Don't underestimate the student union."

He bent down, and the warm touch from the palm of his hand spread from the temples to the nerves, spreading to the limbs little by little.

Stop and smile.

"It's beautiful, this hairpin, and you."

His smile hung quietly on the corners of his thin lips, his gentle eyes reflected the surrounding lights, his delicate side face was indescribably clean and gentle, snowflakes fell one by one on his dense long eyelashes, slowly pulling It stretched into a set of extremely long close-up shots.

He smiled and pulled Shiina closer, a warm feeling stayed on her forehead.

"Because it's my rose."

He was still calm, and a little light ignited in his golden eyes.

"A single rose in this universe."

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