No.70 days

Five days later, Shao Wu met Zhu Jingjing in the newly opened coffee shop next to Yongchuan No. [-] Middle School.

Contrary to what he remembered, Zhu Jingjing was neither wearing sportswear nor a dress, but a tight white satin shirt on her upper body, a black pleated knee-length skirt on her lower body, and khaki flat leather shoes on her feet.As soon as she sat down, she complained to Shao Wu: "I sneaked out, hey, I'm so tired of working overtime every day."

Shao Wu asked puzzledly, "Didn't you teach physical education?"

"Why, look down on the physical education teacher!" Zhu Jingjing curled her lips, "What kind of physical education class will be organized by the Education Bureau next semester, and we will use the No. [-] Middle School as a pilot. We have to write lesson plans."

"Oh...you can't even skip dinner," Shao Wu pushed the menu in front of her, "You order first."

Zhu Jingjing opened the menu, looked at it and said, "I can't help it, trainee teacher, I must work more."

This summer, Zhu Jingjing returned to Yongchuan No. [-] Middle School for an internship. The first year of high school students were on vacation, but the second and third year students were still making up lessons.After returning to Chongqing from Chengdu, Shao Wu stayed at school for another four days. After all, he told his parents that he was going to participate in the summer camp of Sichuan University, so it was impossible for him to go home early.

The light of the coffee shop is a soft warm yellow, falling on Shao Wu's arm, reflecting the light slightly.Shao Wu stared at that small spot of bright light in a daze.

"Shao Wu."

"Huh?" Shao Wu raised his head.

"...I said, I've ordered," Zhu Jingjing pushed the menu over, "Order."

"Oh, good," Shao Wu smiled at her, a little sorry, "I was distracted just now."

Soon the dinner was served, Zhu Jingjing ordered Italian beef risotto with mushrooms, while Shao Wu only ordered French fries.

Zhu Jingjing asked in surprise, "Is this all you eat?"

"Well, I'm not too hungry."

"What's wrong with you?" Zhu Jingjing suddenly leaned over and approached Shao Wu, "What happened?"

Shao Wu looked at her, and after a few seconds, he said softly, "Jingjing, I don't want to go to graduate school anymore."

"why?"

"I failed the subject," Shao Wu smiled at her, realizing that he must have smiled far-fetchedly, so he suppressed his smile again, "Therefore, there is no quota for insurance research."

"You—how did you fail?"

"Because..." Shao Wu lowered his eyes, he knew that he could lie, for example, the teacher targeted him deliberately, missed the exam due to illness, etc. In short, he could find a reason and tell a lie, but he suddenly wanted to tell the truth , "On the day of our exam, a friend of mine had an accident at home. I rushed over to help, so I didn't take the exam."

Zhu Jingjing was silent for a few seconds, then asked, "It's him?"

Shao Wu: "You mean—"

"He," Zhu Jingjing asked back, "other than him, who else could it be?"

Shao Wu raised his head abruptly, clenched his hands on his knees into fists.

"I heard that his father-in-law has left. Is it because of this?"

"……Yes."

"Actually, there's no need to do this, Shao Wu."

"..."

Shao Wu's heartbeat became more and more rapid. At this moment, Zhu Jingjing's eyes seemed to be some kind of entity, rolling towards him, overthrowing him.Could it be, could she also—

"Why are you so stupid," Zhu Jingjing said, "He won't like you."

Turns out she knew too.

Shao Wu felt a piercing embarrassment, if he only felt heartache when Yang Shuyi rejected him that evening, now, now, the pain is still there, adding another layer of embarrassment.It turned out that she knew it too, since when did it start?Sophomore year, freshman year, even earlier—in high school?

Both Zhu Jingjing and Yang Shuyi knew about it, but they looked at him and tried to get close to Yang Shuyi by finding ridiculous reasons time and time again.

"Well, I know that, he has a girlfriend," Shao Wu lowered his head, his voice trembling, "Jingjing, you...how did you know?"

"I can't tell when it was, that is, after I was in college, I felt it slowly."

"..."

Oh, after college.

Shao Wu suddenly felt somewhat bleakly fortunate, at least, at least not when he was in high school, otherwise Zhu Jingjing would be able to see it, and probably other students in the class could also see it.After they went to college, Zhu Jingjing was the only one who knew him and Yang Shuyi at the same time.

"I wanted to persuade you to give up a long time ago, but I can't open my mouth if you are like that, really, Shao Wu," Zhu Jingjing said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hide it from you."

"Hey, don't be like this, there's nothing to apologize for," Shao Wu hurriedly shook his head, and then asked carefully, "Then, do you think that I... people like us..."

"No, no, not at all!"

"Oh, thanks."

Shao Wu thought, if only Yang Shuyi could be like Zhu Jingjing.No, that's not right, maybe Yang Shuyi doesn't really discriminate against homosexuals, he may not discriminate against homosexuals, but he won't become gay, that's all.

"You said you won't go to graduate school anymore," Zhu Jingjing gripped the small steel spoon on the table, but didn't take a bite of the rice. "Then do your parents agree?"

"I don't know, I haven't told them yet..." Shao Wu thought, he would definitely not agree.

"Actually, you can take the exam even if you can't guarantee the graduate school. Your brain is easy to use, unlike me, you must be able to pass the exam."

"I can't take the exam," Shao Wu smiled bitterly, "I'm full of him...he rejected me."

Shao Wu knew that it was very worthless to say such words, and he was still on his mind even though he was rejected so firmly?At least he is an adult who is about to graduate from college, why can't he take care of business just because of this little liking?

Chen Yimang also said to Shao Wu, do you know, that person might not be that good at all, he is not worth your change of choice, not worth your trips to Southwest University, not worth your thinking about every day. Have you heard the song?What you can’t get is always in turmoil. Shao Wu, you just can’t get it. The more you can’t get it, the better you think him. In fact, it’s all your own imagination.

But is Yang Shuyi really "not that good"?Shao Wu didn't think so, or in other words, he didn't like Yang Shuyi because of how good he was.Yang Shuyi is smart, but he is not at the point where his IQ is superior—otherwise he would have been admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University if he studied hard for a year in his third year of senior high school; as for his appearance, he looks handsome, but he is not as handsome as a celebrity artist In terms of degree, to be honest, he was just the handsome one among the crowd; as for personality, Yang Shuyi was neither very gentle nor very enthusiastic, and even a little cold.

But if there is something he likes, he can list it one, two, three, four, five points like answering the big questions of the comprehensive paper, but he can write too much.Maybe one day after self-study at night, he took out a pack of copics from his schoolbag, maybe he massaged his mother-in-law's legs and feet when his mother-in-law was hospitalized, maybe he used his school uniform to wipe off the pimples on Shao Wu's face when Yang Long made a big fuss at school. Tears, maybe the graffiti on the collapsed wall, maybe 37 days after the Wenchuan earthquake, when he returned with his hands wrapped in gauze, maybe there are many, many moments that are as fine as the gravel of the Ganges River, when he was in a daze, when he was sleeping, when he was frowning , he smiled and waved his hands—these gravels still reflected brilliant light after being washed over and over again by time.

In his sophomore year, Shao Wu took a general elective course, A Brief History of the Humanistic Spirit, or a Brief History of Humanistic Thought, but Shao Wu could no longer remember the name.He only remembered the word the teacher said: disenchantment.The always serious female teacher knocked on the blackboard and said, disenchantment, students, this concept was originally borrowed by Max Weber from Schiller's theory to describe the bureaucratic and modern secular Western society... Simply put, disenchantment refers to , peel off the layer of hypocrisy attached to the surface of things.What's the meaning?For example, you see me standing here talking eloquently, I have read more books than you, and I know more than you, but these are not enough reasons for you to worship me, students, stay sober, avoid fanaticism, We spend our entire lives in disenchantment.

There is another saying that life is "just that".

Shao Wu thought, no, not right.Yang Shuyi is not "enchanted", let alone "just so". He has never been perfect, so there is no "disenchantment" or "disappointment" at all-but it is these imperfections that make him a concrete existence , he is not a castle in the air, not a mirage, he is so concretely appearing in Shao Wu's life, like a, a rainstorm that will never end, this is a vision from the sky for no reason, it is a kind of destiny without hesitation .

Shao Wu knew he was rejected, but he couldn't stop loving him.

"Actually, I thought of a way that might help you trick your parents over there," Zhu Jingjing sighed, "but you have to stay in Yongchuan."