Bear Diary

Monday, August 2009, 12

Usually when I arrive at the company in the morning, I turn on the computer first, then make coffee, and start the day's work.When I arrived at the company today, I just sat on the chair and didn't move.

I miss Serena very much!

Dare to say it now, I think what Xiaotao said that night played a big role.During this period of time, I tried to keep myself as busy as possible, and there was almost no way to stop, or I couldn’t stop, because as soon as I calmed down, that face and the smell of sunshine stirred my nerves in my mind and made me restless.I've never had such strong feelings for anyone.

I have to reflect on myself first, why haven't I contacted Serena since he moved away?Is it because of that bet?Obviously not, I don't think I have installed B to that extent yet.I thought of it later, is there too much difference between myself and him?Now let me be honest, that is just an excuse, I don't think I should like people who are as dull as myself.Just imagine two big otaku nesting together, probably it will ferment.

The real reason is that I am afraid, this is the answer I have been thinking for two days.Yes, I am afraid, I am afraid that I am not good enough for Serena!

I have never been a particularly confident person. Although I have been a class monitor since I was a child, I prefer to play with the problem students in the eyes of the teachers and the influential figures in the eyes of the classmates than the rights I have.Maybe I am envious of their publicity in my heart, thinking that is what I yearn for, but I know I can't do it myself.I'm super popular because I can't say no to anyone.In fact, I can say that at that time I kind of hated myself.Gradually, as I grew up, I began to not reject my own personality so much, and learned to affirm myself in all aspects, but that feeling of inferiority seemed to have been branded in my subconscious.

Serena gives me the impression that she is ostentatious, always full of confidence in herself, and exudes an aura that attracts me.So even though I don't have the confidence to be worthy of Serena, I really like him!This is the first time I have faced my heart.

"Hi! How are you?" I sent this text greeting.I'm not sure if he will return, not sure if he still likes me a little bit, I'm not sure about everything.But I posted it anyway, I rarely do things like this recklessly.So when I arrived at the company, I sat down on a chair, stared at my phone, and did nothing.

MM Yang knocked on my concealed office door and brought me a cup of hot coffee.She asked me why I was in a daze, and I smiled and said no.She asked how my cousin was doing, and asked if my cousin worked in Brother Zhang's company.I wondered how she would know, she laughed and said that they were all regular customers, and she knew what was strange.Then she said she wanted to ask me for a favor, and I asked her why, but she mysteriously asked me to promise her first.I said yes, as long as you don't murder and set fire to commit crimes.Then she smiled and said I was a good friend, and asked me to make time tomorrow night.Confused me...

As soon as MM Yang left, my phone vibrated, and Serena replied to the message!I was a little excited to open the message, only a few simple words "Morning, how are you?"

Immediately I replied "I'm fine. Are you at work?"

This time he replied quickly, "It's okay, I'm not busy now."

"Two days ago Xiaotao said he missed you."

"I have been in touch with Xiaotao all the time."

"Well, he said it. Just as long as you're doing well."

"Brother Chen, I'm sorry about that incident. Thank you for still being able to contact me. I'm glad to receive your text message."

'I didn't take it to heart, I overreacted.So I thought...' I was about to edit the text message like this, but after writing a few words, Serena sent another one. "Xiaotao said you started going to the gym?"

"Well, it's been two weeks."

"Hehe, then go for it." Then came another one. "But I think you're fine now."

The morning meeting was about to start, and I told Serena to contact him later, but he said he might be busy later, and he would contact me when he was free.I say yes.

It was time to go to the gym again today, and as soon as I entered, I saw a muscular man arguing loudly with a person.Although the muscular man is big, the opponent is also big and thick.When I calmed down, I asked what was going on, and the muscular man said that that person was his good friend, but recently he was getting nervous, and he was against him everywhere, because he had a big fight with his girlfriend on weekends.So I comforted him a few words.

The muscular guy said I looked in a good mood today.I said yes?He said yes, you have been smiling.I laughed twice again.Did he say something good happened?I say almost.He said he didn't want to treat you when something good happened?I said that you are really good at taking advantage of the fire, but I have something to do today, so I will definitely invite you next time.This is not for anything else, but because he cares so much about my going to the gym, otherwise I might not be able to persist.

I thought about it, and asked the muscular man cautiously. Some people said that I think I am fine now. Do you think it is necessary for me to go to the gym?The muscular man looked at me and said, what did your girlfriend say?I hummed.He said that you should not exercise too much, but exercise is still necessary.

I don't know what Serena is doing. I haven't heard from him until now, and I don't dare to contact him for fear of disturbing him.This kind of waiting is really a torment, but it is much better than these days...