Bear Diary

As a leftover fighter born in the 80s, I am living my rhinestone-level single life gorgeously~ But an unexpected encounter made me lose my way.I just want to record what happened after that day, maybe there will be no such encounter in the future.

Although Bailu has passed, the weather in Chengdu has become unbelievably hotter.Now the sky outside is full of thick dark clouds, and the whole city is like a big stuffy steamer.I really hope that the rain will fall sooner. I wonder if it can wash away the restlessness in my heart?

The reason why I want to start writing this article is because although I am gay, I never hang out in social circles, even in the gay groups added by QQ, I never speak. Two months ago, I could firmly say that I am a gay Independent activist.But recently I encountered some things, like a stone, which hit me hard in my calm mind, which made me so unprepared.

I don’t have any friends around me to confide in, so I thought of writing it down and posting it online in a way that doesn’t touch personal privacy. Although we don’t know each other, when you see my text, even if it’s just a casual glance, It is also enough to make my heart full of comfort after talking.So, thank you in advance to everyone who read my text.Is this the so-called network margin? O(∩_∩)O~

Where to start?Let me introduce myself first!

My name is Chen Haonan, I have no bad habits, I have a decent job, and I can be regarded as an upright and kind-hearted person.In fact, I personally feel that I can still look good, but I am a little stronger, there is no way, I like to eat.My mother said that it is better for boys to be stronger, and I don't hate my body shape, and the girls are not without advances.But everyone knows that in the gay circle, as long as you are a little fleshy, you will definitely be discriminated against!I am not born not wanting to make friends, I am born wanting to be celibate!Sigh~ Thinking of the deeds of being discriminated against by monkeys, tears flowed _...

Slowly, I became numb, so I no longer make G friends online, but after all, I can’t cut off G’s thoughts, so I mostly just add one or two G groups, and watch them chat when I’m bored.It wasn't until a few months ago that I knew that there was a special group called "bears" for the queer people like me, so I'm considered a leftover bear.

I always thought that the word "leftover man" was born for me, really!I have lived for more than [-] years, except for the first love when I first entered junior high school with a female classmate in the next class for half a semester, who was so innocent that I didn't even hold hands. Until two months ago, my first kiss was still... Woke up and burst into tears... -_-|||

Every time I tell others about this after the age of 20, their first reaction is that it is impossible, and then they will ask me why this happened.I have thought about it seriously, but I really don't know it myself, it seems that time has slipped away all of a sudden.

Until that day, I met him...