Enough

Cold war again.

Because neither of them went back to the school district room, they looked very serious and serious.

Ji Yuan is not at school for evening self-study at present, he packs his schoolbag at dinner time and goes home.Li Zhengchuan looked at his back, pursed his lips, and said nothing.They haven't spoken for five days, they don't look up and look down, but they are more indifferent than strangers.

Lizheng Chuan felt low air pressure all over his body, and it felt like returning to the domineering freshman year of high school.When he appeared in the classroom, people with discerning eyes did not dare to show their air.Ji Yuan is now crouching at the desk to do the questions, brushing the May [-]rd and the school's secret question papers without hesitation.The two looked at each other, then turned away, without saying a word.

There were people playing and playing between classes, Li Zhengchuan took the opportunity to hang up his schoolbag and glanced at Ji Yuanxian.Maybe it was because the classroom was too noisy, Ji Yuanxian was interrupted in solving the problem, and blocked his ears impatiently.

Li Zhengchuan sat down, facing the blackboard, with his back to Ji Yuanxian.The seats of the two were far apart and stretched diagonally.He turned the pen in his hand, paused for two seconds, frowned, and kicked the desk violently.

Accompanied by the bang, Li Zhengchuan yelled like losing his temper, "Fucking noise! ​​Read a book!"

The classroom was instantly quiet, and the students looked at each other in blank dismay, no one dared to provoke this uncle.

A few seconds later, the idle crowd took the initiative to return to their seats, and the sound of flipping books resounded in the classroom.

Ji Yuan now raised his eyelids, staring at Li Zhengchuan's back.He sighed, his slightly wrinkled brow finally unfolded.

At least you can do it quietly.

Gu Xi learned about this from Mrs. Ji. Originally, Mrs. Ji wanted him to persuade Ji Yuanxian, so Gu Xi shook her head and turned to look for Li Zhengchuan.

Speaking of which, I had a few private conversations before, which should be the most peaceful.

"I advise you to separate. I don't mean that I want to intervene. I won't take advantage of others. Ji's mother wants me to persuade Yuanbao, but I know that the problem lies with you. Yuanbao is easy to figure out, but you are not easy. "

Gu Xi gave Li Zhengchuan a can of beer, and they skipped class tonight and went over the wall to the embankment.

Lizhengchuan poured a few sips, and he sat on the stone railing of the river embankment, facing the cold wind.

"Why do you persuade me, and why do you say that I can't figure it out?"

"If you figure it out, you won't have a cold war with Yuan Bao. You won't agree to come out with me, Li Zhengchuan. In fact, you know very well in your heart that this stalemate is not acceptable. You will have to separate sooner or later. Can't you change the way of fighting? "

Gu Xi asked.

"To be honest, I really never thought that you dare to disobey Lisen. I heard from my cousin that your brother was famous for his violent temper when he was a student. It has gradually restrained himself in the past few years."

"Shut up," Li Zhengchuan couldn't help swearing. He held the can in his hand and stared at the dark river without looking sideways. "Gu Xi, you are not me. No one can help me make decisions, I can't let Ji Yuanxian go."

"I won't give you a chance."

Gu Xi laughed softly, he rolled his Adam's apple, bit his lower lip and thought for a moment.Suddenly asked: "Li Zhengchuan, do you want to bring Yuan Bao happiness?"

"I think, so when he was with you, I didn't impose any moral and emotional shackles on him, and I didn't rely on him."

"I like him, no less than you. For so many years, I have been silent about this feeling for his happiness."

"Emotions are meant to make the other person happy, not to bind them blindly."

Li Zhengchuan's eyes flickered, and he swallowed.It is a bit difficult to answer this question now, he said: "...I can give him happiness, as long as we pass this level."

"I will definitely give him happiness."

Gu Xi shook her finger, nodded at Li Zhengchuan again, and smiled, "You can't pass this test, unless you separate."

"Lizheng Chuan, Yuan Bao's words are actually very simple. Take a break for a while, and then find a solution. What a good proposal, why didn't you agree?"

"Let me guess, you feel that there is no bondage between the two of you, and he may change his mind one day. You also feel that if things are out of your control, you will not feel safe. What you lack is his concern for you .As long as you go abroad, Yuan Bao is likely to change his mind, right?"

Li Zhengchuan didn't say a word, Gu Xi guessed everything right.He just wanted a name, and wanted to occupy Ji Yuanxian openly.

Otherwise, he thought that if there was a slight gap, Ji Yuan would not belong to him anymore.

Facing Li Zhengchuan's silence, Gu Xi didn't intend to force the other party's mouth away.He stood up and patted Li Zhengchuan on the shoulder, "I advise you to think again."

"Are you happy now, are you happy? Can you continue to bring him happiness, or bring him pain."

"Li Zhengchuan, you are loving someone, not torturing him."

Seidegeman has a famous theory of learned helplessness. Simply put, when people fail and suffer repeatedly, they will form a hopeless or helpless psychology.

Ji Yuan is now at this stage, he tried to communicate with Li Zhengchuan, but hit a wall.Try to communicate again, and then continue to hit the wall.

This late autumn is too cold, not colder than the heart.Li Zhengchuan's decisive attitude really made Ji Yuan almost give up now.

Last time there was a big fight in the corridor, and soon the two of them flipped the table in the classroom.The more Ji Yuan is firm in his mind, the more insecure Li Zhengchuan is.

Ji Yuan now thinks, otherwise, let's break up.

When this idea came up, Li Zhengchuan blocked Ji Yuanxian and didn't want him to go home.The two stood at the door of the classroom, and it was almost a live broadcast.

Ji Yuan has a good face, but he has already lost it.He pulled Li Zhengchuan's wrist, and said in a deep voice, "Get out of the way, I'm going home for evening study."

"What happened the last time you accompanied me," Li Zhengchuan said, "You were hiding from me."

"I didn't hide from you, my mother asked me to go home."

"Excuse! The school has the best learning atmosphere. Ji Yuanxian, do you really want to get rid of me and think I'm annoying."

Li Zhengchuan was not forgiving, and many students looked away curiously from a distance.

"Do you feel tired? Do you think that Lizhengchuan is so annoying, why is this person so shameless? Yes, I am shameless. Then why did you like me back then, why didn't you get out of my bed?"

"You really like it, don't you. Ji Yuanxian, dare to do it or not."

The long-standing cold war has crushed Li Zhengchuan's last line of reason.He is like a pet who desperately needs comfort from his master. If this door is closed again, he will be completely disheartened.Be a stray cat.

Li Zhengchuan couldn't take it anymore, he spoke indiscriminately, as if he had opened up the two veins of how to quarrel with Ren and Du.All the arrogance that used to disdain to quarrel fell to the altar in front of Ji Yuanxian.

A fight, even a fight is fine.At least let him understand that Ji Yuan now cares.

But Ji Yuan only raised his eyes now, and just about to get angry, he sneered a couple of times and said, "I can't move anymore, Ah Chuan."

His voice was soft, as if he was coquettish, but also seemed to let go of something.

Ji Yuan was choked with sobs for a moment, then turned and pushed open the window next to the corridor.He propped his hands on the tiles, and turned his head a little sadly.

"Do you have the minimum trust in me?"

When the voice falls to the ground, it is like hearing thunder in the place of silence, and it is also like hearing silence in the place of thunder.

Li Zhengchuan's face turned pale.

Ji Yuan appeared through the window and went out neatly, with his schoolbag on his back, walking awkwardly but calmly.Lizheng Chuan was stunned for a moment, then ran after him.Like crazy.

The two stood in front of each other, keeping a distance of two meters.Ji Yuan is now speeding up, so he speeds up.Ji Yuan stopped now, so he stopped.

So, Li Zhengchuan looked at him from afar, far away.

Ji Yuan sighed now, thinking he couldn't go home.He turned his feet and wandered aimlessly along the street.Li Zhengchuan followed without asking about the destination or the time.They went from the beginning of the lights to the end of the crowd.

The wind was raging late at night, as if it was going to rain again.

Ji Yuanxian's phone kept ringing, and Mrs. Ji sent a message asking him why he didn't come home yet.

"Mom, I'll be back in a while. Go to bed early."

Li Zhengchuan always walked behind, he was stubborn and stubborn.In fact, he didn't know what he wanted to do, he was just afraid, just now Ji Yuanxian's expression seemed to have lost his patience.

Maybe, I really don't want him anymore.

Ji Yuan walked a few steps now, and when the sky began to rain lightly, he finally turned around and walked quickly towards Lizhengchuan.

The eyes of the two were glued, and Li Zhengchuan's heartbeat was pounding.His throat tightened, and he only heard the other party ask: "Li Zhengchuan, let me ask you again, do you agree with my proposal?"

"We, we will be separated temporarily. Can you?"

Li Zhengchuan asked coldly: "How long have we been apart, one year, two years, four years? Five years?"

"I don't know," Ji Yuan rubbed his hair irritably, "I don't know! How can I give you the exact time for this kind of thing. I don't know when you will come back, or when I will do ideological work for my family !"

"How do you want me to guarantee it?"

Li Zhengchuan was still cold, he glanced at Ji Yuanxian.

"I don't agree. There is no temporary separation, either stay together or break up."

He stubbornly believed that as long as his words were harsh enough, Ji Yuanxian would be reluctant to part.But he really didn't know that those who couldn't let go, couldn't forget, and didn't want to separate would always be the ones who spoke harshly.

Ji Yuanxian drooped his shoulders weakly, his eyes dimmed instantly.He had nothing to say, and he didn't know what else to say.In the past half month, he seems to have used all his brainpower and energy on the quarrel.

too tired.

Ji Yuan glanced at the city, it was huge and strange.It was like Li Zhengchuan in front of him, which made him extremely strange.Ji Yuan realized that all his moods and expectations would be reduced to ashes.

He is neither panic nor sad now, but a little numb.

Ji Yuan's eyes moved, it was raining heavily.

Then he raised his hand and gently helped Li Zhengchuan wipe off the rain on his forehead.

He said: "A Chuan, don't torture me. Okay. I might not be able to hold on anymore."

These words are like a howling wail, and also like a whisper between lovers.

Li Zhengchuan was stunned, understood the literal meaning, and even understood the lingering sound at the end of the sentence.He took a deep breath, a little bit want to cry, but also a little bit want to laugh.He raised his hand to wipe his face, and suddenly grabbed Ji Yuanxian's wrist.

"I, I didn't torture you. I..."

Ji Yuanxian actually smiled, this smile was pulled like a tattered bellows, filled with cold wind.

"Well, you didn't torture me. I tortured myself, and I said I was sorry."

Lizheng Chuan stood blankly, he could hear and endure everything, but he dared not hear the word "torture".He still remembered that when Gu Xi left that day, he said that when people in love are together, what they want is happiness, not torture.

He didn't admit it, he didn't admit that they were torturing each other!

"You didn't... Ji Yuanxian, I don't want you to say sorry."

"Okay, don't say it." Ji Yuanxian followed his words, his voice was gentle, every word.Like reading prose aloud, clear and rational.As he said, he couldn't make a noise anymore, so he stopped arguing.

"Then let's follow what you said, don't separate temporarily. Let's just separate from each other."

Ji Yuan didn't say the word "break up". He remembered that the day the two established their relationship, they didn't officially say that we were together.

Li Zhengchuan knelt down, wanted to carry him on his back, and said, "All right, it's all up to you."

So today, Ji Yuanxian helped him wipe the rain on his face, maybe it was tears, and then said: "Then we will follow what you said."

Li Zhengchuan's lips moved and he stopped talking.He was cold all over, and the heat flowed out quickly along the palm-sized part of his heart.Sadness can't be said, grief can't be said, he doesn't know how he feels.

Also speechless.

"Aren't you, don't want me anymore?"

"...you promised, you won't leave me."

"Yes, my problem. I reneged on my word, and I went back on my word. So, let's go our separate ways."

Ji Yuan said it very plainly, they were on the same journey, concentric, and comrades, but in the end they didn't return.Those youthful and gorgeous stories, publicity and sweet stories, did not wait for a happy ending.

In fact, the more people want to grasp something, the more unsatisfactory they find in the end.Those lost lives, lost friends, love that can never go back.Those precious things can't stand the wear and tear.

Li Zhengchuan blinked, and water droplets fell down his eyelashes."What if I don't agree," he said.

"I still regard you as a good friend and a brother. The friendship is not in the benevolence and righteousness. If you need anything in the future, you will let me know. We will definitely help you. Foreign countries are different from here. When you go, you should study hard. Go and fight for a brilliant future. Qian Cheng, I will remember you, I..."

"I don't want to be your brother! I don't agree! Breaking up is breaking up. Why do you remember me!"

Lizheng Chuan took a step back suddenly, his faltering anger was mixed with fear.He understood that Ji Yuanxian might be serious.Those feelings of insecurity rapidly expanded and exploded in the deep night.He is like a bunch of rotten dead leaves, which swell when soaked in rain.

Li Zhengchuan still couldn't believe that the fire in his world started a prairie fire, the wind was raging, and once the city gate fell, he would be doomed.

But now, the person who mastered the Daquan of Killing Lives stood in front of him and said casually: "Li Zhengchuan, let's do as you say."

"I didn't say anything! I didn't say anything!" Lizhengchuan exploded, and the rain became heavier.The two confronted each other in the rain curtain, he softened his voice and begged in a low voice, "Ji Yuanxian, you can't treat me like this."

"I beg you, please take those words back. Please."

Ji Yuan was noncommittal, he just looked at Li Zhengchuan deeply, as if he was forcing him to compromise, and it seemed that he really didn't care.

In this world, there are so many loves and hates, so many things that cannot be met but cannot be sought, what is left in the end.Those mean, angry, and irrational words were all wiped out.

As long as you don't love, nothing is left.

"Li Zhengchuan, we are not suitable."

Ji Yuan said now.

"Just, stop torturing me."

The heavy rain was pouring, and the city looked like a boat floating on the ocean when viewed from the air.The water drops were thrown down desperately, and there was no one on the street.Wanderers find their own bridge holes, and people return to their own homes.

When Li Zhengchuan watched Ji Yuanxian leave, he couldn't find anything that belonged to him.

"I don't agree, Ji Yuanxian. I don't agree."

All that responded to him was a weary sigh.

These days, life is dull and tasteless, not as good as plain boiled water.

On the day of Lidong, it rained again.This rain seems to gradually increase from autumn to winter.The sky is gloomy, and it looks like it will collapse in the next second.

Ji Yuan stepped into the classroom now, and he put the umbrella at the door.The thin stream of water soaked the floor, and there was a rushing sound in my ears.

There was no difference between day and night, it was terribly dark.The incandescent lamp was turned on in the classroom, illuminating people's faces pale.

Li Zhengchuan still watched him from afar, but he didn't dare to go forward again.In his dreams these days, he always dreamed that Ji Yuan was yelling at him, don't torture me anymore.He woke up again and again, each time more desolate.

Ji Yuan now subconsciously avoids Li Zhengchuan, unwilling to repeat the quarrel.He lost weight and was much emaciated.

When I got home in the rain that night, I had a fever and a cold the next day.Later the fever subsided, and the cold has not recovered.

He didn't ask for leave and insisted on coming to school.

Ji Yuan is now reviewing the wrong questions, coughing and blushing.He pulled up his collar and glanced at the darkening sky outside the window.The wind rattled the windows.

At around six o'clock in the afternoon, there was a sudden flash of lightning, and then several thunderclaps pierced the sky.

The girls screamed, obviously terrified.

Ji Yuan, who was by the window, couldn't help but startled reflexively.He reached out and rubbed his chest, then coughed and continued to do the questions.

When it was nearly eight o'clock, the world suddenly went dark.Ji Yuan found out that after running for a week with a long reflex arc, he realized in the noise of the girls—the power went out.

He sighed.

The teacher organized the students to be quiet before going out to ask about the situation.The classroom was full of voices, discussing and screaming.

A series of thunderbolts came down, illuminating most of the sky from time to time.

Ji Yuan couldn't hold it anymore, his head was dizzy, so he just dropped his pen and lay down on the desk.He was depressed and sour, and kept thinking about Li Zhengchuan's desperate eyes that day.

Eight thousand miles, Lu Yun and Yue are no longer the future he longed for.

Suddenly, the world became quiet.

Ji Yuanxian's ears were tightly covered by two warm palms.Block the thunder for him, block all the noise.

He subconsciously struggled, and Ji Yuan now knew who it was.This is too intimate, even if the classroom is dark, it will eventually attract attention——

"Don't move, Ji Yuanxian. Let me help you cover it again."

"the last time."

Li Zhengchuan sat at his desk and dismissed his classmates at the front desk.He suppressed his voice, and leaned into Ji Yuanxian's ear and said.

These words are light and fluffy.Ji Yuan heard that moment clearly, but his heart stopped suddenly.

the last time.

When Li Zhengchuan saw Ji Yuan now lying on the table, he was fragile and stubborn.He thought, I can make him happy.He walked back row by row, but he didn't feel sorry for himself at all.

Li Zhengchuan thought, in fact, self-esteem and face are all negligible.

Forget it, I'd rather he be happy.

There are many turning points in life, and decisions are made inadvertently, like enlightenment.

Nothing major happened, and no one pointed me in the right direction.Maybe the sky was clear at that time, maybe there was thunder and lightning, or maybe it was raining heavily.

Looking at the traffic in front of me, there is a lot of voices.The world is too busy, and you are too lonely.

Then sigh.

just let it go.

Li Zhengchuan said: "I agree, I agree with your proposal."

"Ji Yuanxian, I will depend on you."

"We broke up after the college entrance examination, and I will accompany you on the last journey."

Ji Yuan felt his nose sore, and let the tears rage in the darkness.He wanted to cry, but couldn't make a sound.My boy has finally grown up, he thought.But why am I so sad all of a sudden.

When he is obedient to you, you don't care.

When he is tender and affectionate to you, you don't take it seriously.

When he promises you "I will be by your side forever", you don't care.

When he said "I'm leaving, I can't continue with you", you finally stood up.

Li Zhengchuan decided to leave, in this day of lightning, thunder, and wind and rain.

Ji Yuanxian was not happy at all.