Get angry

Memories of junior high school are gloomy for me.

After my parents divorced that year, I lived with my father. My father has been in business but he has never made any money.My daily life is all taken care of by my grandma, because my father keeps himself in the house every day, and often loses his temper at night when drinking, so my grandma taught me to be careful in everything since I was a child, to speak softly in front of my father, and to be careful when guests come. Tea and water are not allowed to ask for things, let alone pocket money.

Although I did all of these things, my grades were not satisfactory, and I was not ranked among the top in the class. Every time my father would get angry and beat me because of these things.

Later, my father remarried and had another child. My stepmother treated me coldly. Maybe I got used to being a doormat without saying a word. I didn't feel that life was difficult.But my stepmother would ask me to do housework every day when I came home, standing on the bench to cook and stir-fry, my grandma was naturally angry and distressed, but she was afraid that my father would have to sacrifice me if he divorced again.

The first slap in my life was slapped by my stepmother, because she found the snack packaging bag my grandma bought for me in the trash can, thought I stole the money, and asked me where I got it from, but I didn’t say anything, so it was solid Slapped me.I have never cried so loudly before. At that time, I cried heart-rendingly, but I hoped that my father would stand up and criticize this woman severely, but to my disappointment, my father did not stand up but continued to drink liquor.

From then on, I only hated my father in my heart.

No matter how my father treated me, I never hated him that much, but now I hate this person from the bottom of my heart.Since I was in elementary school, I was not good at speaking, and the character of silently enduring everything in my heart has created my current personality of holding grudges.

In the sixth grade, my stepmother gave birth to a younger brother, and my father suddenly decided to hand me over to my mother to take care of me.At that moment, I felt very happy in my heart, because I was finally leaving this man, and I could start a new life when I went to my mother's side. I didn't have to swallow my anger anymore, and I didn't have to live so carefully.

But my nightmare continues.

I came to a small fourth-tier city to study in a junior high school. My mother helped me find contacts and established a local key junior high school. I entered the school with a vision.On the first day, everyone stood on the podium and introduced themselves to everyone, talking about which elementary school they came from and what hobbies they had. The classmates in the class were all local, only I was transferred from city A, and I stood on the podium My heart was beating very fast, and I, who was not very good at speaking loudly, was somewhat nervous: "Hi everyone, my name is Wu You, I was transferred from No. [-] Primary School in City A, and I like painting."

"City A? Oh big city!" The students below immediately began to mutter.

"Hey, do you look down on people from our small city?" The head teacher next to me asked me with a smile.

I was shocked in my heart, I never expected that these words would turn into showing off in their mouths, I shook my head and said, "Teacher, I didn't."

"Can you speak louder? Like a man!" The teacher glared at me, and then said something in front of the whole class.

The students below burst into laughter. I stood on the podium with a blushing face and bowed my head. Maybe the education in City A is much more formal than here. I have never seen such a teacher, which made me very uneasy.

Sure enough, my uneasiness was correct. On the first day of military training, the instructors lined up according to our height. I was originally very short, so I kept standing at the back of the line. The other students more or less had alumni from the same elementary school. , During the break, everyone gathered together to chat, and I was sitting alone next to the basketball stand. A dark-skinned boy came over: "Hey, little sissy? Your name is Wu You."

"I'm not a sissy!" I glared at him angrily, but didn't dare to raise my voice too loudly.

"Let me tell you, my brother is in the third year of junior high here. If you dare to provoke me, I will let them beat you after school until you are convinced!" He moved his head closer and spoke to me in a low voice.

I was terrified in my heart. I never heard of such a thing when I was studying in City A. I didn't dare to say anything or even look at him.At that time, I was really scared, new environment, new school, no friends, and these teachers and classmates with completely different personalities from before.

The sun was scorching hot, and we stood in a military posture on the school playground. I have been weak since I was a child. I must not be able to bear this kind of weather. While the instructor was lecturing, I felt an unspeakable pain in my head. My eyes were blurred and my body leaned back. When I got up, I suddenly fell to the ground and suddenly felt someone kicked me, "Can you stay away from me!" someone said.

The instructor called a few students to take me to the shade of the playground and let me rest for a while. One of the students asked me a few words with concern. Although I was very uncomfortable, fortunately there were still people in the class who were willing to talk to me. .To be honest, I am used to this kind of life. I drank water in big gulps, thinking that I might be like this all my life.

During the lunch break, my mother came to pick me up from school, because my home was too far away from the school, so she planned to take me to a student dining table she had just found. As long as Yue pays him the food expenses on time, that's enough, and he doesn't have to go around looking for restaurants to eat by himself.

When I was in primary school, box lunches were given out, and I just sat in my own seat to eat every day, but now I feel a little scared to sit at a table with some people I don’t know at all.

In this way, I came to the resident’s house. There were already a few students sitting at the dining table to eat. My mother asked me to take off my shoes and go in. I was not used to the food here. If I thought it was okay, I would eat here in the future.I stared at the people in the same school uniform as me at the dinner table for a long time, then turned around and ran out.

My mother chased me and asked me why I was running?My heart is full of fear, that fear comes from the eyes, everyone's eyes are like a sharp knife, it makes me feel so uncomfortable, I dare not look into the eyes of strangers!

Later, my mother would give me some pocket money every day, and let me go to a restaurant near the school to eat.

When it was lunch break, students were leaning out of the school gate, and every small restaurant for eating was blocked.But I kept wandering in front of the restaurant with the money, and I found that I dare not go in, and I can’t go to so many places with strangers to eat by myself. In 13 years, I have never found that I have such an understanding of strange environments. fear.

I am afraid of talking to strangers, going to strange places, and places with many people feel scary.

I had to go to a nearby store to buy some bread at noon every day, and then eat something alone in the classroom.If no one came back to the classroom with food at noon today, I would feel more natural, but whenever one or two students brought something back to the classroom, they would look at me like a strange person, and then continue to eat and laugh.

It's my first month of junior high and I'm not making any friends.

What makes me even more sad is that every day after school, that dark-skinned classmate will come to bully me. When he is in a good mood, he kicks me from behind and walks away. When he is in a bad mood, he will directly throw me to the ground. He just bullied me without saying anything, and then left with a smile on his face.

Fortunately, his academic performance is not good, and he will be severely scolded by the teacher every day, which makes me somewhat relieved.

One day when I came home from school, someone called me from behind. I turned around and saw that it was a classmate in my class. He was riding a bicycle and asked me where I lived. When I said it, I found a classmate who lived in the same place. He was very happy. Asked if I would like to go home with me in the future, I naturally agreed.

His name is Li Dong, and he is my first friend in junior high school.