Jonson's Diary

April 2018, 4, Overcast

I think words are a very magical tool.

For example, when I write down, time flies like an arrow, time flies, and three years have passed.

It took me less than 1 minute to finish writing this line, and it took three years to be summarized.

I almost forgot that I used to keep a diary.

24 days, I thought that was 24 years.

Nothing major happened, it's just that I was hospitalized, sorry for Li Keji and An Huai, they obviously wanted to come out for fun, but ended up with someone like me.

The world collapses instantly, but it takes a long time to rebuild the world.

On the day we agreed to go to the ethnic village to play, my condition suddenly worsened. I couldn't remember exactly how I felt that day. To sum it up in one word, it should be called: numbness.

Li Keji found out that something was wrong and sent me to Yunda Hospital. The hospital was crowded with people like a supermarket.

The doctor flipped through my medical records and asked Li Keji, "You mean you were fine yesterday?"

"Yes, he said he wanted to come and play, so we came together."

"How did you feel yesterday?"

Then there was a bunch of tests and I was asked a lot of questions, but I can't remember, and the doctor's diagnosis was: Bipolar II disorder.

Facing our puzzlement, the doctor explained irritably: "Bipolar disorder is mood swings and depression that occur repeatedly in stages, and type II bipolar disorder is mainly depressive symptoms accompanied by hypomania."

I didn't know it at all. I always thought that my hypomanic state was a sign of improvement in my depression, so I never told Dr. Cheng.

In other words, the medicines I have taken for so many years are ineffective, even harmful?

Ridiculous, right?I feel so too.

Then he was admitted to the hospital for treatment to control his condition.

The mental hospital is not as exaggerated as we think. Every day, we eat and listen to music at regular times. When taking medicine, the nurse will call his name on the radio.

In the face of the disease, we are all naked.

After eating, we will check the mouth to make sure we swallow the medicine.

I think I am the most obedient one, but every time the doctor faces me, he is like an enemy.When I was discharged from the hospital, I asked the nurse curiously, and he said:

"You are severely depressed. If you don't have the strength to commit suicide, you won't necessarily get better."

Hahahahahahahahaha, as expected of a professional!

I wanted to die, but I really didn't have the strength to kill myself.The corners of the tables in my ward are round and tightly wrapped with cloth.

Suicide is very difficult, and doctors and nurses will also conduct regular checkups.

What's more, what can I do when I am sleepy endlessly?

Li Keji and An Huai have always been with me, especially An Huai.

Li Keji still ran around, visiting me every now and then, while Anhuai directly rented a house nearby to report to me every morning, noon and evening.

I couldn't eat, and when it was time for dinner, Anhuai used all kinds of martial arts to coax me to eat, it was hard for him.

I felt very sorry for Li Keji and An Huai, Li Keji said indifferently: "Don't feel sorry for us, you will have to pay it back when you recover, well, let me think about what price you have to pay..."

I heard from the nurse that the patient living next to me was forcibly taken out of the hospital by her parents and committed suicide not long after returning home.

My condition was well controlled, and I had a good relationship with doctors and nurses. That day I just finished taking the medicine and stood outside the door.The young intern inside knelt on the ground and wept. My attending doctor didn't say anything or comfort him.

I remember him, the patient who committed suicide was one of the patients he was in charge of.I stood at the window and said with a smile:

"Don't be sad, we are sick, so go to die, it's nothing."

It's really not easy for a doctor. He encountered family members who were completely uncooperative, which indirectly led to the death of the patient.

What is the relationship between doctors and patients?

Doctors hope that patients can trust them, facilitate communication with each other, and cooperate with treatment.

So how do patients trust them?

People change people's hearts, that's all.

Who wouldn't be sad to see a friend he trusted die aggrievedly?

It's strange that I can easily talk about what other people's illnesses are like, but I can't talk about my own.

Maybe I don't want to admit it, but I'm so miserable.

Xue Lin called once, and An Huai answered it.Me, I don't answer the phone.

He was very busy, very busy, and took Wen Huibo to the UK to discuss cooperation with other companies.

An Huai said that I was sick and was hospitalized.

Xue Lin didn't come.

I was a little sad, and felt that he should not come, after all, I was just a piece of garbage.

An Huai seemed to have noticed something, looked at me and said word by word:

"It's best if he doesn't come, so I can monopolize you."

"I want to eat fried chestnuts tomorrow."

"it is good."

I sat in the lobby and waited for An Huai to come back. He went to the bathroom.It was probably after get off work, and finally there was no crowd in the hospital.

There was playfulness in the examination room, which was a bit noisy. I looked up and saw a middle-aged woman knocking on the door. Her son was sitting beside her husband.

He knocked on the door a few times, but no one paid any attention, probably because he was in a hurry, so he knocked on the door with his hands.The little old man sitting next to me also looked over.

The little old man has gray temples, bald head, unshaven beard, wearing an old shirt, white jeans and cloth shoes, he is probably waiting for someone!

The door finally opened, and before the woman could speak, the man in the white coat cursed:

"Knock what? Can't read the flow chart by yourself!"

The door closed with a bang, and the middle-aged woman cried, "I can't read!"

There was another sound of playfulness in the examination room.

Hey!I have such a bad temper and I really want to beat someone up, and I haven't waited for me to do anything.The little old man stood up all of a sudden and kicked the door aggressively. I was terrified when I saw it. I was afraid that something might happen, so I took my mobile phone and started recording. If something happened, I could provide some help.

The door still didn't open.

The little old man kicked the door even more fiercely, yelling: "You little bastard [Fu Qiang]! Get out of here! Look, I won't kill you today!"

The middle-aged woman was also dumbfounded, and when she realized it, she hurried to pull him, and said anxiously: "Brother, forget it! Are you literate? Just help me find out. It's not easy for them to work, but it's also difficult!"

The little old man glared: "It's that hard? A bunch of rabbits are going to fly, aren't they?"

This time the door opened quickly, and it was another, stronger doctor who opened the door. A big man of about 1.8 meters, with a straight face, the little old man is only less than 1.7 meters.

I was observing secretly while thinking about what to do.

When the doctor saw the little old man, he immediately panicked.

"Hi, teacher, why are you here?"

Surprised or not?Is it surprising?Is it irritating?Brother, you hit the iron plate.

I almost laughed out loud, that kind of quietly doing bad things but being caught by the teacher, probably will become the shadow of a fool's life.

"You call out that one just now and talk to me again!"

A group of people were apologized to the middle-aged woman, and had to stand and be scolded bloody by the teacher.

An Huai looked at me strangely: "What's wrong? I'm in such a good mood."

It's also strange, I obviously didn't smile and it didn't matter, An Huai could also sense the change in my mood.

Could it be that Li Keji's unique secrets can still be taught?

"I'll show you a video when I get home later, and I'll delete it after watching it." I stood up and said with emotion, "After so many years, your [Fuqiang] uncle is still your [Fuqiang] uncle!"

An Huai was carrying big and small bags, and gave me a rare smile. The temperature rises, and occasionally, icebergs will still melt.

"Okay, let's go home."