Jonson's Diary

July 2018, 2, sunny

Yesterday I went out to sneak Komatsu as usual, but I felt that he was sneaking me with great energy, and I couldn't run him at all.As soon as I got home, I collapsed on the bed exhausted.

I lay there all the time, not wanting to move at all. I reluctantly ate some compressed biscuits, drank some water, and fed Xiaosong dog food. A series of movements seemed to exhaust all my strength.

Komatsu, like any other dog of his age, is keen on being a demolition team dog.

A few times I was very annoying, and I followed him to tear down the house, and I was much rougher than him.He thought I was playing with him, so he got more excited.

I deeply reflect on myself, this is not right, he may think it is just for fun in the future, think about it, what would it be like if a child watched you commit violence for a long time, if nothing else, he would definitely become like me in the future Terrible adults.

In the future, if you go to someone else's house and say that you will not necessarily be disgusted, you will be abandoned.I don't want me to cause him a bad day.

I taught him for several days, and sold him a lot of toys. Xiaosong is very smart, and soon he will not aspire to be a demolition office.

He is really very good. I was so irritable that I hid in the room and smashed things, and he also threw his toys. I didn’t want to move a finger and fell on the bed. He just nestled quietly in my arms. .

I don't really like to write about how I felt when I was sick, and it made me realize exactly how miserable I was.But Dr. Cheng said, I have to face myself and face it squarely.

Thinking about it is also true, but if I say so, I may not be able to do it. I hate myself, and I feel hot when I look at myself more than once, let alone face myself squarely and write down the most embarrassing side of myself in words.

I remember one time, I drank half a bottle of pesticide in a jerk, and the smell was particularly fishy, ​​and I was found and sent to the hospital for gastric lavage.

When I woke up, I complained to the nurse: "I always thought it was a can of Coke, and that son of a bitch put pesticides in it? Just bullying our taste-impaired people?"

I'm not a taste disorder, just depression. I don't have any sense of taste when I eat, and my senses of touch are degenerating. My cerebral cortex may not necessarily be covered with a layer of paste.

The thing that upsets me the most is tinnitus, which rings all the time, like a death call.

Valium drugs made me feel better when I went to bed at night. Dr. Cheng plans to reduce the amount of drugs for me. I am recovering well.

July 2018, 2, overcast

I saw Xue Rin as soon as I went out today, I suspect it was my hallucination.

how can that be possible?How could this person suddenly appear in front of me one day without hearing from him for so many years?But it does look like something he would do.

He was waiting for me at the door of the classroom just like he used to say: "Yo Xiao Qiao, let's go, please eat pudding!" His tone was casual, as if the mountain of time and space of five years was only 5 minutes after class was over.

This bastard left at will and came back at will.This guy really hasn't changed much, I thought he would be smoothed out, but after not seeing him for many years, he became even more flamboyant.

What about accepting the arrangement of the family company as steady as a mountain?

"What? Don't invite me in for a sit down?" He walked around me while talking, and Xiaosong stood in front of me and stared at him vigilantly.

Xue Lin knelt down and patted Xiaosong's head: "Since when did you raise a dog? Or a golden retriever? I said we raised Erha together and you didn't do it! You actually raised a golden retriever behind my back, is it promising? "

Xiao Song was a little anxious, and stroked his back comfortingly.

Xue Lin went to the bathroom to wash his hands in a familiar way, and brought me a glass of water when he came out, ah, I really don't see anyone.

"What are you doing standing up? Come and sit down! What were you doing just now?" His fingers were slender, with well-defined joints, and they were not skinny, with a little bit of powder on their fingertips. heart.He stretched his five fingers to cover the mouth of the glass, spinning the glass leisurely.

"I'm going to the agency to look at the house..."

"It's easy! Move here and live with me. Anyway, you've lived in my house for so many years and you've gotten used to it, so it's settled. We'll go home in a while!"

look!He is such an arbitrary person, and I can't find a good reason to refuse.

If I don't move there, who knows what else he can do.Maybe he will pick up the matter of depression.

Although I am very unwilling, I have to admit that Xue Lin's EQ and IQ are very high. The kind who drags me to skip class every day, I can only barely get a seventy or eighty in the exam, and he has been out of No. 2 for several blocks for a long time.

As for emotional intelligence, just look at his misbehavior for so many years without offending anyone.If he deliberately wants to please someone, no one can resist.

A very individual and charismatic person is like light, which can penetrate the clouds but make the pale clouds more colorful.

"Hey! Where's the tea?" Xue Lin rummaged through the box to find the tea, found a bottle of medicine and asked me what's wrong.I said, I'm not in good health. You know, the temperature has been rising or falling like a cliff recently.

Xue Lin narrowed her eyes, probably going to get angry next time.He sneered and said, "You are still the same, treating people like idiots, full of bad water."

I conveniently threw the medicine bottle in his hand back into the drawer. I took a look at the name—sertraline hydrochloride. He didn't know it anyway, and he didn't bother to look it up. In short, my title of pure man was finally preserved.

Most people think that depression is hypocrisy, or poor psychological quality, and it will pass after a resistance.Maybe, but I don't think there's any difference between major depression and cancer.

Cancer patients say, "Doctor, I don't want to die."

Depressed people say, "Doctor, I don't want to live."

The essence is the same, they are all asking for help, but the way of expression is different.The information I found on the Internet said that the death rate of depression is second only to cancer, and I personally think it is higher than cancer.

Many people suffer from depression but do not go to see a doctor. It may be due to the intervention of people around them or economic reasons. The deaths of this part of the population are not counted, which is also a very large number.

Everyone thought he was just hypocritical, until he was really dying.

Xue Lin was lying down, with his feet resting on the coffee table, and Xiao Song was lying on top of him.It's only been so long, the two of them seem to have known each other for decades, how should I put it, it's too late to stay!My little pine has also grown up a lot.

Xiao Song lay on the ground for a while and felt bored again. He put his head on Xue Rin's hand to ask him to get up, but Xue Rin also let him go. Xue Rin and Xiao Song had a long fight, during which Xue Rin was very dissatisfied with Xiao Song's name: "Why don't you call me?" What about Xiao Qiao? If it doesn’t work, Da Qiao will do too, why Xiao Song is so ugly.”

I smiled and patted Xue Lin's head: "Good boy! Go play with Xiao Song!" Xue Lin tilted her head angrily, but she couldn't stop Xiao Song from acting coquettishly, and within a few minutes, she and Xiao Song became friends again.

Perhaps Xue Lin was a large golden retriever in her previous life!

After a long time, Xue Lin and Xiao Song were both tired. Xue Lin drank his saliva, put on a light green jacket, and led Xiao Song outside.

When he reached the door, he frowned impatiently: "Why are you in a daze?"

"Let's go, why don't you come home with me?"

He is an irresistible person.