Look at each other

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I could only resist her words in silence, but my heart was churning like mountains and seas.Is it really necessary to be so persistent?Is the pursuit of the life you want really more important than the safety of your parents?Does it really have to be her?

Before I could find a thread to solve the problem in a mess of thoughts, the door of the ward opened from the inside, and it was like the scene of the operating room reappearing in a trance, only this time I greeted it nervously .

The doctor took off the white medical mask, frowned and said: "You are the one who is nursing in the ward this morning. I told you at that time that the patient should be rested and should not be stimulated anymore. Let him be emotional this afternoon." It’s so big, but fortunately there’s nothing serious about it now, if the blood vessels in the brain explode again, I think you can contact the funeral home.”

"I'm sorry to trouble you, we will pay more attention to it later."

Maybe because of the sincerity of my apology, he didn't say anything more.At this time, a person who looked like a nurse hurried over and whispered something in his ear. He glanced at me, put on the mask again, and led a group of people to leave in a hurry.

My mother and I walked into the ward after they left.The father on the hospital bed was pale, with an oxygen respirator on his mouth and nose, and his eyes were half-opened blankly. When he saw us walking in, his eyes rolled slowly, and his eyes fell lightly on me, and then turned away. opened.

The tears that I had been holding back just now suddenly burst out like a bank.These tears are not just fear, but also knowing how to make a choice, and regretting another life that I cannot achieve.

"I...I'll stay." Squeezing these words through my teeth seemed to take all my strength, "But let me tell her first, lest she miss dinner because of waiting for me."

Trembling uncontrollably, I took out my phone from my pocket, and was about to send her a message, but suddenly my hand was empty. The phone was snatched by my mother in a blink of an eye. Before I could react, she had already walked to the window and took the phone Throwing it forcefully out the window, the phone arced through the air and finally disappeared from my field of vision.

I rushed to the window to search for the shadow of the mobile phone, but found that outside the window was a forest transplanted to increase the green area of ​​the hospital, and the mobile phone had long since disappeared.

"You..." I turned my head to look at my mother angrily, but the anger was overwhelmed by deep regret for a moment, "I just wanted to send her a message."

"Since you have decided to stay, long-term pain is worse than short-term pain, isn't it? Zhizi Mo Ruomu, with your indecision, once you contact her again, you can't really let go. So you'd better not have a contact tool recently."

Looking at my mother's current expression completely reversed from the previous weakness, I felt strange and scary, "Are you planning to put me under house arrest?"

"You're exaggerating too much. It's for your own good, and for the sake of your father's health. Do you want to anger him again?"

I stopped talking, but my heart was shaken again.Even if I really can't spend the rest of my life with Xiaoxiao in the future, and I won't fall in love with another girl again, but do I really want to put my life in the expectation of my parents?Just now I thought I had made a decision, but now I am undecided again.She's right, I've always been indecisive, so the last thing she should do is show my "true face" while I'm still hesitating.

Just when I was hesitating, I suddenly thought of that night in the city tower, that bitter night buried by so many sweet memories, standing on the steps in the dark night and looking down at me, the eyes seem to be There is a constant viscous sadness. "This is a letter I wrote to you. Promise me to pick it up when you are most confused, okay?"

I reached out and grasped the key accurately in the palm of my hand through the fabric of the clothes. It has been hanging around my neck, clinging to my skin.I was like a drowning man grabbing a life-saving straw, struggling to get out of the water.Uncommonly, I turned around and walked out of the ward without hesitation.

"Lai Ning, where are you going?" My mother stopped me from behind.

"Go buy books, you threw away my cell phone, I'll find something to pass the time."

"Wait and I'll go with you." As she spoke, she pressed the call button to find a nurse to take care of her father temporarily, and quickly called her sister-in-law, telling her to come back quickly.After everything was arranged properly, I was able to walk out of the ward accompanied by my mother.

We took a taxi to the place where Xiaoxiao and I had our first date, walked through narrow passages, and finally arrived at Fangcun Bookstore.Early in the morning, I expected that my mother would follow some, so I took her to the bookstore, pretended to be serious about choosing books, and then excused to go to the bathroom to ask her to help me keep the books, and left her side to save the letter. The key was used as a certificate in exchange for the letter Xiaoxiao wrote to me two years ago.

I carefully folded my heart and put it in my pocket, suddenly realizing that now is the perfect opportunity to say goodbye without saying goodbye.But is that really the case?Thinking that my mother was still waiting for me, I gave up the idea of ​​leaving without saying goodbye, full of guilt, and walked in the direction where she was.After finding her at the same place, I put a few more books in the shopping basket, went to the front desk to pay the bill, and left the bookstore.

I took a chance that night to read the letter in the bathroom.Carefully opened the envelope, took out the letter paper and spread it out flat. As soon as my eyes fell on her elegant and powerful handwriting on the letter paper, my eye sockets turned red, and I had to turn on the faucet to cover up my sobbing with the sound of water.After reading the letter intermittently, I calmed down in the bathroom for a long time, washed my face with cold water, and did not leave the bathroom until my eyes no longer seemed red and swollen.

The mother in the ward lowered her voice and talked on the phone. Even though the volume was low, the resentment in her words was clearly revealed. I have no doubt that if the person on the other end of the phone stood opposite her, she would immediately rush to grab him by the throat .A thought flashed through my mind, as if walking in a dark tunnel and found a glimmer of light ahead.

My mother didn't notice that I had come out of the bathroom. After hanging up the phone angrily, she turned around and saw that I was obviously stunned behind me. Before I could ask if it was a small phone, she rushed ahead of me. He said, "Lai Ning, it's late today, go home and rest first, I'll stay here tonight and take care of your dad."

"It's okay, just like before, you sleep on the nurse's cot, and I'll just sleep on the sofa."

"No need, since your father is awake, there is no need for so many people to guard. Come, I will take you to the gate of the hospital." My mother took my hand without any explanation, and led me out of the ward. He couldn't resist her, so he had to obediently follow behind her.

"Is it Xiao...Xia Xiaoyou?"

The person in front of me didn't speak, but held my hand tightly, as if afraid that I would break away from her.I didn't have the courage to shake off her hand, so I could only hope in Xiaoxiao, begging her to find me and hold me.But seeing that he was about to reach the gate of the hospital, that little hope became more and more elusive.I suddenly remembered the letter in my pocket, so I stopped where I was.