The last elf

Today is Saturday. According to school regulations, there are only two classes on Saturday afternoon, so school ends early this afternoon. .biquge

As soon as the school bell rang, the students rushed out of the classroom like boars in heat and ran outside the school. The classmates in our class have a characteristic: they are slow in everything they do. They are the fastest only when they rush to the cafeteria and rush out of the classroom after school. The speed can reach kilometers per hour. They can't stop them, even if Liu Xiang comes. I can't catch them.

After I packed my schoolbag, I took Xueying to Xiao Xie and Awei and said, "Xiao Xie, what are you doing after school?"

Xiao Xie glanced at me and said: "I don't know, I have nothing to do, I'm free."

I thought for a while and said: "Then let's go shopping on the street. Anyway, I have money, so I can buy whatever I want."

When they heard that they were going shopping, Xueying and Awei immediately became excited. Xueying pulled Awei and said, "Let's go buy a lot of delicious food. The food made by humans is so delicious! What kind of ice cream and pudding?" , ice cream..." Then I saw the two of them walking in front to open the way, shouting: "Let's go, let's keep up with the organization!"

"Damn, it seems that girls, whether they are elves, demons or humans, are all foodies. They get excited when they hear about eating." I said to Xiao Xie depressedly.

Xiao Xie said to me with a sinister smile: "Yunfeng, you are going to be miserable now. As far as I know, Awei's appetite is very large, so you have to be mentally prepared!"

"Really...really! Why didn't you tell me earlier..." After I finished speaking, I picked up my phone in frustration and dialed my dad: "Hey, dad, put another yuan into my card. Money, it’s urgent...don’t ask anything about it. Anyway, I will let you have a grandchild soon..."

By the way, can Xueying and I have a child? She is an elf and I am a human. They are not the same species at all. Hey, forget it, I'm still young anyway, I don't think about the future, how tiring it is to have a child, some people say: If we don't go crazy, we will be old. The way I understand it now is: we will get old if we have children. If we don’t have children now, we should go crazy!

As soon as they arrived on the street, Xueying and Awei started a shopping spree. As long as it looked edible, the two of them would not let it go. They dragged me and Xiao Xie and asked us to buy it for them. (They have always been invisible. Only Xiao Xie and I can see them. If they go to buy them by themselves, in the eyes of others, they will just be two bags floating in the air, and then some food will automatically fly into the bags. They will definitely think there is a ghost. Yes, because others can’t see them, so they have to rely on me and Xiao Xie to buy them for them)

After walking around for a long time, Xiao Xie and I were already out of breath from exhaustion. The two of us carried no less than a dozen large and small bags in each hand, which made other people look at us strangely. If I were someone else, I would definitely think that these two men were fleeing from Africa. It must have been a long time. I haven't eaten anything, otherwise it would be impossible to buy so much food. Either they are African refugees, or they are going to Africa to travel...

"Oh, I swear I will never go shopping again. If I go shopping, I won't go shopping with girls. I bought so much food, it makes me so damn tired!"

Yes, I regret it. I deeply regret the decision to take them out shopping.

Xiao Xie also frowned and said: "Yes, I am the son of a demon, how come I have become a coolie now?"

Xueying and Awei said with smiles: "Come on, come on, why do you still look unhappy when there are two beauties accompanying you shopping?"

"Humph, I found that women just love to torment men, so let's ignore them." I said to Xiao Xie.

Xiao Xie nodded and said: "I don't know them at all..."

After a while, Xueying and Awei suddenly shouted: "Hey, look in front of you, there are so many people!"

Xiao Xie and I looked up and saw a large group of people gathered in front of us, not knowing what they were doing.

"Let's go, squeeze in and take a look!" After Xueying and Awei said this, they pulled Xiao Xie and me into the crowd.

After we squeezed into the crowd, I saw clearly what was inside: it was a fortune teller. He looked to be in his fifties and looked average. He was holding a woman's hand to tell her fortune.

"Girl, I see you look rosy and energetic, I guess you are in the stage of love," the fortune teller said.

"Yes, Liang Banxian, you can see this, it's really amazing!"

Then I heard the fortune teller say: "Also, if I guess correctly, the girl's surname is Zhang, she is twenty-two this year, and she works in a bar."

"Yes! Liang Banxian, you are really amazing! You can guess all this!" the woman said excitedly.

"Wow, this man is so amazing. He guessed everything right!" I heard many people around me praising Liang Banxian, saying that he was really like a god.

"Let me go, this old man doesn't look like a god in my opinion. Look at him like that. He touches the girl's hand and won't let go. The smile on his face is as obscene as possible. If he hadn't guessed right, Otherwise, you will be regarded as a pervert and taken to the police station!" I said to Xiao Xie.

Xiao Xie kept staring at Liang Banxian, and then said to me: "Actually, there are some divine beings among humans who have the ability to detect the past or the future, but there are very few such people. I wonder if the old man in front of me is Half-immortal.”

"Oh yeah? Then I have to ask him a question."

"What do you want to ask him?"

"It's nothing, I just want him to help me figure out when I will die..."

"... Let's forget it. Even if you know this, you can't tell it. If you tell it, it will leak the secret and you will be punished by God. Let's not disturb other people's business. Let's go." Xiao Xie pulled him away after saying this. Xueying and Awei walked away.

After that, I planned to take them to the haunted house. I originally wanted to scare them, but as soon as I got to the door and saw a pair of huge fangs on the door of the haunted house, I regretted it. To be honest, I was scared...

"Well... let's go do something else. How about going boating?" I started to back down.

"No, boating is so boring. I want to go into a haunted house to play. That would be exciting!" Xueying objected.

"I said Yunfeng, are you scared? If you are scared, just say it. We won't laugh at you for too long, just laugh for five minutes." Xiao Xie said to me with a sinister smile.

"Damn, I'm afraid that a grown man like me will be afraid of you waiting! I'll go buy the tickets, and I'll take the lead later. No one can compete with me!" After I said that, I walked towards the conductor with dignity.

After buying the ticket, I quietly said to the conductor: "Hey, buddy! Well, my buddy is timid. Can you turn off the sound of the machine later?" I pointed at Xiao Xie and said to him.

The conductor looked at me meaningfully, and then said with a wicked smile: "I think you are afraid, it's okay, leave it to me, I understand!"

Why do I feel that his smile is so cunning... But I still said bravely: "I'm not afraid, just watch out, I'll take the lead, and I'll take him in!" After saying that, I took Xiao Xie, Xueying and Awei with me. Went in.

...It's so dark inside, and there's no sound at all. The conductor really didn't turn on the sound, but why is it still so quiet and scary?

I was walking in front, and suddenly there was a "Bang!" sound, and then the machine inside started running, and many ghosts suddenly appeared around me. There were hanged ghosts, zombies, and ghosts coming out of coffins. The most terrifying thing was Sadako standing a meter in front of me, with her hair disheveled, staring at me with blood-red eyes, and the ghosts mouthed "woo woo woo~" "The screams made people feel like hell at this time.

"Oh my god!!!" I screamed, covered my eyes with my hands and rushed forward. After a few minutes, I rushed out. Then they saw Xiao Xie, Xueying and Awei walking out expressionlessly.

"Nima, you scared me to death, my heart almost stopped!" I lay on a tree panting, while Xiao Xie, Xueying and Awei said: "It's not scary at all, those ghosts are all paper The movie is not as realistic as the ghosts in the underworld. It’s really boring!” After hearing this, I felt so ashamed. Then I turned around and saw the conductor showing that obscene and flat smile and shouting to me: “Hey, buddy! Let’s get excited. Welcome to play again next time, I’ll give you a % discount!”

"I'm playing tricks on you! You old grandson, you still kept talking when I told you to keep quiet. It scared daddy to death, you know!" Then as Xiao Xie wanted, the three of them laughed at me for five minutes. After they finished laughing, He also said: "How about we elves and demons keep their word? It's only five minutes to talk and laugh. It won't be one second longer or one second shorter." Damn, when I went out to go shopping, my face was completely humiliated, and it still cost me So much money, shit, so unlucky.

It's getting late, it's time to go back. When we passed a street, I saw that Liang Banxian was still setting up a stall, but there was no one around. Why didn't he close the stall yet?

Just as we were walking past Liang Banxian, Liang Banxian suddenly pulled me and said: "Hey, buddy! I see you have amazing bones and extraordinary appearance. There is a spiritual light spurting out from the Tianling Cap. With a little experience, you will be able to save the world in the future." !”

"Fuck you uncle, you pretended that I haven't watched "Kung Fu". Next, are you going to take out a martial arts secret book "Tathagata Palm" and sell it to me for ten yuan? There is also a special aura of light ejected from the Tianling Cap. Doesn’t that mean I’ll die from the blood spurting from my forehead? You old fool dare to curse me to death,” I said unhappily.

"Hey, this handsome guy, please be patient. He has a beautiful elf by his side every day. Why is he still so angry?" Liang Banxian said with a smile.

"Nima, I've almost lost my face today. If you want to cheat me again, just say yes. You want to cheat as much as you want...Hey, wait a minute, what did you just say? How did you know there was an elf next to me?"

"Aren't there two demons standing next to you?"

"You...you can see them!"

"That's right, I'm a half-immortal!"

"Damn, you are really capable. How could you see that, Liang Banxian?"

"Ahem, well, it's very simple. I said I'm not a mortal, I'm half-human and half-immortal! Young man, I know everything about you."

"Really, what did you say my name is?"

"My last name is Bai, my first name is Yunfeng, what a good name!"

"Damn it! You're awesome, you're a god! Help me figure out how many wives I can have in this life!"

"...Stop talking nonsense! Young man, I noticed that there is a mass of black energy looming between your eyebrows. I think there will be a catastrophe soon..."

"What! I'm so handsome, how could there be a catastrophe? Am I going to have good luck?"

"……piss off!"

"Liang Banxian, just tell me so I can take precautions."

"Alas, it's a blessing, not a curse. You can't avoid disasters. But I have a treasure that can help you turn disaster into good luck. But... alas, this treasure is rare in the world..." Yes, I can hear what this old immortal wants. The lion opened his mouth, so I took out ten sheets of Mao Zedong and put them in front of him and said, "I understand, one thousand yuan is not enough."

"Ahem, young man, you are not interesting enough. Money is the source of all evil. Putting it in front of my eyes will dirty my eyes. That's all. I will put this source of all evil into my treasure bag and wait for it to be purified. After getting angry, I will return it to you!" After speaking, Liang Banxian reached out and took away the thousand yuan, and then put it into his backpack. The whole process was smooth and smooth, without blinking an eye.

After all, you still need money...

"Ahem, this peerless treasure "Diamond Sutra" is handed over to you. I hope you can study and practice it diligently and never let it go to waste. After you successfully learn this skill, you will be able to summon the Vajra Shield to protect yourself at any time. Remember to study and practice diligently. Practice, remember! Remember! Good! Good! Amitabha! Amitabha!"

"...Nah, are you a Taoist or a monk? You are good and you belong to Amitabha. Hey, let me tell you, if it doesn't work, I will go find you. Tell me your contact information!" Liang Banxian threw After giving me his business card, he packed up and left.

Looking at his retreating back, and then looking at the "Diamond Sutra" in my hand, I suddenly felt like I had been deceived. The star in "Kung Fu" was not sensible when he was a child, so he spent ten yuan to buy a copy of "The Palm of the Tathagata". ”, although it is true, but I am so old that I spent a thousand yuan to buy a copy of the Diamond Sutra, and I don’t know whether it is true or not. I even suspected that my head was kicked by a dog...

Fortunately, Xiao Xie took the "Diamond Sutra" and read it and said to me: "Yunfeng, this book is true. You must hurry up and learn the moves in it."

"Really...if that old fool lied to me, I would slap him to death!" I said depressedly.

Maybe I am the most unlucky today. Not only did I lose face, but I also seemed to have been cheated out of a lot of money by an old man...

(End of this chapter)