Cross talk: There is no size on the stage, and a new grave is built under the stage

Chapter 263 Stand-Up Comedy Apprentice! 【Subscribe】

"How to try, there is an introducer, introduce a little apprentice to the shopkeeper. The little apprentice is here, and the shopkeeper will take a look."

Originally, Qi Yuncheng was holding the table with both hands, but he picked it up and looked down at it.

The stand-up comedy story is strong and full of fun.

But no matter what it is, people need to be substituted in and be personally on the scene, and to be able to do this, the characters' performances are required to be vivid.

And shopkeeper Hao's character is stingy and fond of drinking, so he has to act out his character.

"Are you my apprentice?

what.

Here's something for you to see! "

While talking, Qi Yuncheng pointed to his side, "When I opened the cabinet door, I took out a bottle of wine, what is this?
Shanxi Fenjiu.

don't want! ! "

One person plays two roles, Qi Yuncheng tilted his head to look at the little apprentice, and at the same time he had to explain, "Why don't you.

He thought to himself, this is drinking.Not only does he know about wine, he even knows where it is served.How can I bear it, don't, let's go.

Introducer, find me another one. "

"I don't know what happened later, someone spread it to our family. When I heard this, I volunteered."

Qi Yuncheng's voice was a little louder, and he seemed so happy, "I said I would go to be an apprentice, but my father and mother refused.

So what can you do?I heard that they don't care if they are full, so I have to go.

The introducer came, and I went there, behaved and honest. "

"You come to me as an apprentice? Do you know how much work you have to do?
know.

Here's something for you to see, what's this? "

Still referring to the same action as before, the audience knows that it is wine without listening to the explanation.

"Actually, I understood it, but I still pretended to shake my head, not knowing.

A little door, he is not at ease.

Then look what is this?
I pretended not to know.

you smell. "

Qi Yuncheng looked like holding something in his hands, sniffed it, and blurted out suddenly, "Horse urine!"

The voice fell.

The audience in the small theater was full of smiles.

This stand-up comic is different from its counterpart. He doesn't pursue any big burdens, and the sound is crisp.

The purpose is to listen to the story, which is fun and interesting.

But at this time, Qi Yuncheng, playing the role of shopkeeper Hao, sighed happily, "Oh, there is a good apprentice here, so please let him stay.

So I was left behind.

The introducer next to me is so angry.

I thought what's the matter, okay, don't, horse urine scolded you, but left him behind, what's wrong with this man?

He didn't know that the shopkeeper was afraid that someone would steal his wine.

I ended up being there as an apprentice for him. "

……

Speak up here.

Suddenly, there was some movement on the side screen.

Dalin, Meng Hetang, and Zhou Hang were all watching here. After all, stand-up comedy, it's good to come and listen.

But suddenly Lord Hou came over.

Holding two plastic bags in his hand.

"Come on, eat sugarcane. I just ran out to buy it. It looks pretty good."

Seeing Lord Hou bring these things over, the people around were dumbfounded, but each of them took one and started to chew.

Then he spit it all into the bag that Master Hou brought.

The same is true for Hou Zhen himself, but even if he eats sugar cane, there is absolutely no way to stop his mouth.

Qi Yuncheng, who was looking at the stage while chewing, spoke.

"It's rare to speak alone today, but Yun Cheng's ability is not low, listen to everyone.

By the way, this sugar cane is good to eat.

In particular, it has a lot of crude fiber. During the process of repeated chewing, it is like a toothbrush brushing your teeth. It can clean up the residual dirt in the mouth and clean the mouth.

Moreover, the large amount of sucrose in sugarcane can supplement the human body with sufficient human energy, and can prevent hypoglycemia and eliminate fatigue and heatstroke.

Isn't it summer?It's a good thing to eat, and the young man who sold my things just now is a bit outrageous.

I said that I can't ask for so much, but I have to come so much.

Are you saying that?
Doesn't this cost me a lot of money? "

……

Boo boo boo boo.

Hou Ye started various science popularization.

But Dalin, Meng Hetang, and Zhou Hang held the white sugarcane and didn't take three bites. I have never heard of eating sugarcane to suffer this crime.

The brains were almost boiling.

But Hou Ye saw that they didn't move much, so he quickly said, "Eat, it's a good thing to eat this sugar cane, your master can't eat this, he is diabetic."

"Eat! How can you not eat it?"

"Well, eat! Eat!"

"That's right, eat them all, thank you Lord Hou!"

All three of them spoke in a perfunctory tone. There's no way. With their seniority here, can they be disobedient?
Eat it even if it is poisonous.

And after talking about this topic, Hou Zhen talked about the former Chuanxi Society again. After all, he drove there, and then the topic didn't stop at all.

As for Meng Hetang and the others, they could only listen and look eagerly at Qi Yuncheng on the stage.

But Qi Yuncheng is now talking about the fun part.

"I was an apprentice to him, and he couldn't get enough to eat. He had to go to play cards tonight, and he would spend the whole night playing cards, and he would come back at dawn.

After you came back, you fell asleep in the winter, and he woke you up. "

"Get up!!! It's very cold in the room, go light the stove."

"He came back cold, he lay down to sleep, and I had to light the stove. As soon as it was dawn, sometimes before dawn, the stove had to be lit.

There is still trouble in the mouth.

Our briquettes are a bit burnt.How much is burned every day, how much is burned in a month, and what is heard.

I said hey. "

Qi Yuncheng stretched out his fingers and counted, "He called me for three days in a row, and I got angry. On the fourth day, I got an idea.

This day the sky is full of stars, he came back, and lost today.

get up!Fire the stove.

I said hey, light the stove.

Turned on the stove, it was quite warm.I also stayed in the house, waiting for him to sleep soundly, I went over, I called him. "

Qi Yuncheng immediately became anxious, with a push in his hands, "The shopkeeper's shopkeeper! Get up, get up!

He doesn't know what's going on.what happened?

I don’t count the briquettes I burn every day, but I counted them today, and I burned a total of 48.

Then why do you tell me!I fell asleep, nothing happened. "

"He's caught up again. This is the case. He won't call me when he comes back. What? He calls me for fear that I'll count briquettes for him again."

The more people in the audience talked about it, the more they felt that this matter hurt others.

Of course, the audience knew that this was an old joke, but the old joke sounded the same, so at this moment, Qi Yuncheng's breath, expression, and tone were the same.

Both make them feel fun and familiar.

Even if they have heard it countless times.

To tell the truth, Qi Yuncheng also specially imitated the words of his husband. After all, his purpose in this scene is to let the audience listen to this paragraph again.

So continue to speak.

"But it's just that I can't get enough to eat. This thing is terrible. I looked at his wall, bought a piece of ham today, and brought two bottles of wine over.

He won money that day and put it on the table.

But when he won the money, he panicked, and he still wanted to play, so he told me. "

"Me! I have something to do when I go out. Do you hear me? I'll be back at dawn tomorrow.

Note that this piece on the wall is called ham.

Don't let the cat take it.

Also, there is a big yellow dog next door to our old hen in the backyard, don't let it bite you, understand?
And the most important thing is these two bottles, don't touch them.

These two bottles are poison, one is white arsenic, the other is yellow arsenic, if you drink it, you will die, understand?be careful.

I said hey and he left. "

"As soon as he left, I'm so angry, let me take a look." Qi Yuncheng looked down at the table, "A bottle of grape green, and a bottle of champion red.

Two bottles of wine, tell me poison?
Ham, chicken, me, I think that's all my apprentice has learned, it's over. "

Knowing what's going to happen in the future, combined with Qi Yuncheng's tone of playing tricks at the moment, don't think it's a joke from Mr., but some viewers really think it suits him.

After all, he has a way of hurting people.

So many people listened intently.

On the stage, Qi Yuncheng also smiled and made a gesture, "I picked off the ham and lifted the chicken out.

I go to the restaurant to order food for him, and I know him very well.

I'm taking two things to the restaurant.

I said the shopkeeper, our shopkeeper said, recently we have a batch of wood, and this batch of wood has leftovers.

But there is nothing left for you, our shopkeeper said that I will leave you a dumpling for chopping vegetables, and it will be delivered to you in two days.

The shopkeeper said that it was troublesome for you, so he slaughtered the chicken, chopped it, and chopped the ham.

OK, yes yes yes. "

"I'm happy beating that restaurant manager, why? He thinks he's doing nothing for nothing."

"Ding Dang May Fourth, I removed and chopped the chicken, so I brought it back. I took it back and stewed it until it was rotten. Two bottles of wine were opened."

Qi Yuncheng gestured with his left and right hands to lift the bottle cap, and then he said comfortably, "Come on, me, anyway, it's a parting commemoration.

So I drink like this, I eat and drink.

After eating and drinking enough, I threw the bones and the two empty bottles to the ground, and I lay on his bunk and fell asleep.

After sleeping until dawn, the shopkeeper came back. "

"The shopkeeper exploded as soon as he came back!!" Qi Yuncheng stared, looked left and right, with an expression of disbelief, and just this appearance reflected a person's acting ability.

"Why is this kid sleeping here?

I saw that the two wine bottles were on the ground, and the ham was gone. I ran to the backyard to see, and the chicken was gone.

Well, it’s all turned on, I’m asleep, I’m so angry, come here and give me a punch.”

Qi Yuncheng patted the table to make a sound, and shouted, "Get up!!!"

"This time I pretended to get up, but I cried when I saw him.

Eh!The shopkeeper I said, why did you come back.Yao died, he couldn't survive.

What's up?what happened?

I said what's going on, you're gone, I paid attention to the things you asked me to pay attention to, and I slept until midnight when I heard the dog biting.

The dog bit me and got up. Unexpectedly, it took the old hen away.

I thought I was afraid that you would come back in a hurry and hit me, so I chased after him, but I didn't catch up.

Come back and have a look again, the ham has also been taken away by Mao.

These two things are gone, I think you will beat me when you come back, and you can't spare me.

I can't do anything else. "

Qi Yuncheng pointed while weeping, "I just remembered that you said that the two bottles of poison came, and I was thinking about jumping into the river. They are sealed up, so it's not easy to jump.

I might as well drink this poison and kill myself.

As a result, the first bottle of white was not enough to drink, and the bottle of red was also drunk. I, I am not dead yet! ! ! "

"The shopkeeper was angry when he heard this, such a thing? Then he was ashamed to say that I was wine, not poison.

Stamped his feet angrily.

He stomped his feet in anger, and I sincerely teased him. "

"I said the shopkeeper, didn't you say it was poison? He died after drinking wine. Why didn't he die after drinking two bottles?

The shopkeeper said, why didn't he die?Nonsense, the medicine is not strong enough, drink less.

I said that's good, how about you bring me two more bottles? "

Hahahaha!

Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi!

After finishing speaking, the audience burst into laughter and applause.

"Good! Listening to this old joke is really comfortable."

"Master Liu Baorui's works are really fun no matter what era."

"This apprentice has already talked about it. Whenever Qi Yuncheng talks about fighting techniques, it will be fun."

"That's right! Another one."

"another one!!"

……

What cross talk needs is a deduction.

And this is one of the differences between students and experienced actors. No matter how familiar the audience is with this passage, it is basically fun to throw words and interpretations together with certain skills and personal experience.

Of course, Qi Yuncheng didn't dare to say how good he acted, anyway, he could do it anyway.

At the same time, after I finally finished speaking, I began to bow and thank you.

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(Almost 7000 words were updated today!)

(End of this chapter)