my monster girlfriends

You can imagine the look in her eyes at that time...

I knew then that if I didn't explain something, I might be the ingredient for tonight's meal.

At that time, I randomly found a topic and wanted to divert it: "Hmm... it should be quite warm inside this store."

Nonsense, as long as they wear those clothes, can they not be warm inside...

Miss Yu squinted at me:

"Husband. (She has been randomly choosing between Yang Gongzi, Yang Young Master, husband, and dear to me. The rule is not clear for the time being, and it may be based on mood.)"

"exist."

"To shut up."

"……Oh."

Maybe because she felt that the seats were reserved, it would be inappropriate not to go in, so she finally went into this store.

As for me?

Do you think I have the right to resist in this situation...

So, the girl is really a very unreasonable creature. She made the phone call to reserve a seat, and I don’t know the situation of this store at all. I started to feel guilty subconsciously...

Now that I think about it carefully, why am I guilty...does it have anything to do with me what the waitress wears?Do you have the temperament, talent and appearance beside me?

Even if you don't wear anything, I... can't I just turn around and report it! ?

Entering the door, I adhered to the principle that life is precious, and first set my sights on the unmanned environment—the layout is not bad, and it looks quite stylish—then, I decisively set my sights on the store except me. Enter the only man.

The man looked a little older than me, about 24 or [-] years old, not tall, with long hair, square glasses, and delicate skin.

According to my estimation, he should be the one who opened this store. Because the store is small, he is both the owner and the manager. I don’t know the position of this store. Maybe he has to work part-time to deliver food and make drinks...

Well, my dear friend, you are very good at playing... all waitresses are recruited, right?Use your weak face and boss status to arouse the motherhood of a big sister, right?Anyway, this place is out of the way, so the outside world doesn't know what happened, right?

...Maybe I was tricked by this store just now, my mental activities at that time were quite malicious.

But the above words, I can only think about it in my heart, formal communication and ordering are completely normal procedures.

Ms. Yu never liked to do this kind of work. She would stand beside me coldly in front of people, nodding or shaking her head. The reason she used was "to give you a girl who can train me to be able to do nothing without you." chance”—I have every reason to suspect that she is too lazy to be pure.

That is pure laziness.

However, this time, after I ordered the order, she said a few more words.

"I have an extra request."

The boss asked, "What?"

"Today is his birthday." Miss Yu pointed at me.

The boss felt that he understood the meaning, and lifted the frame of his glasses.

"Well, okay, we will play a happy birthday song in the store later, and we will also give you a bowl of longevity noodles for free. Do you need to order cakes outside? We can also provide..."

"No need for these." Miss Yu said, "He likes men."

About three seconds of silence.

"……Um?"

This is the boss who raises his glasses silently.

"what???"

This is myself who suddenly fell in love with a man.

"Suck----"

I don't know if it was my illusion, but the waitress seemed to be breathing a little more heavily in an instant.

"So." Miss Yu didn't seem to notice this at all, she spread her palms flat and raised them towards the boss, "Come here later when the food is delivered."

"I can add an extra service charge."

I:"……"

Miss Yu, my dear Miss Yu.

Although I understand your feelings very well, and I don’t (dare) have any opinions about being temporarily changed in sexual orientation, but don’t you think there is something wrong with your words?What is "he likes men, so you come by yourself"?Is this expression so ambiguous?

"...there's no need for service fees." The boss raised his glasses, "It doesn't matter if I deliver food..."

He paused and did not continue.

This man obviously didn't believe Miss Yu's words. On the contrary, he gave me a look because I couldn't see clearly through the lens, but I always felt it was pity.

Nothing was said.

... What does pity mean?Tell you that I am aware of current affairs, do you understand?Do you think I'm the type of you who enjoys the favor of the waiter's big sister with my natural weak face and the dual identity of the boss?

Real men eat with their fingers! (writing a manuscript)

◇

Although there were some turmoil, there was nothing unusual about the dinner itself.

It's nothing more than casual chatting, eating some unhealthy dishes that I haven't touched in a long time, and then pouring some wine or something-I don't drink alcohol, but she rarely drinks some, and I won't spoil her interest.

The wine is red wine, the same color as blood.

People are beautiful, with a flower-like texture.

So, she was drunk on this day at the end of winter and the beginning of spring.

Drunk to unconsciousness.

... One person drank a whole bottle, she deserved to be so drunk.

Fortunately, I have been exercising for half a year, and she is a dancer herself. When I carried her on my back, it felt like I was wearing an intoxicating lily. It really didn't take much effort.

When I arrived at the door, when I was checking out, the boss asked politely: "Have you finished eating?"

"Well, yes." I took out my phone, "Scan the code."

Maybe it's because the girl behind me can't hear anything, so you can let go of talking between men. He smiled and said: "Hey... Brother, it's not easy for you. For the sake of my girlfriend, I have to change my sexual orientation."

I thought for two seconds.

Shake his head.

"This is my sister, not my girlfriend."

I looked at his face with an expression that looked like Brother Jie.

"She's not joking, I do like men."

"..."

With a look of horror in my eyes, I walked out the door in a good mood.

Ha, let you only hire waitresses!

◇

... After the joke is over, the reality has to be faced.

When we came, we took a taxi, but now it’s ten o’clock in the evening. There’s a beautiful girl behind me who doesn’t work hard. I can’t find a taxi. I’ve never used a Didi taxi. There are shared electric cars on the street, but it’s not good to take her. Bring... mainly because she is afraid that she will fall.

After thinking for more than half a minute, yes, let's just walk back.

Think of it as exercise.

Still the same sentence, thanks to the fact that I have been exercising for the past six months.

Suddenly remembered smoking and drinking hot... Oh no, replace yourself with the lines of Uncle Yu when he was on talk shows.

Me: "At that time, I carried the beautiful girl from the east of the city to the south of the city in the middle of the night. I was the only one on the whole street, and it took me an hour to walk."

Host: "Are you happy then?"

"about to die!"

◇

I walked for about half an hour. I walked very slowly, afraid that the big movements would wake up the people behind me.

But she woke up anyway.

It is said to be awake, but in fact, it is barely clear of consciousness, which is similar to the state of hypoglycemia when she woke up more than ten minutes earlier. I guess if I put her down, I am afraid that she will not be able to stand firmly, let alone let her go by herself.

So, you have to keep going.

Miss Yu's wine taste is much better than mine. If I'm drunk, I won't use my brain when I speak, and my whole body will become frivolous and arrogant. When she is drunk, it's easy to sleep...and become stupid.

There are not so many sleepless cities in the small county. At this point, the shops on the street have closed their doors, and the lights on the buildings have also been extinguished, like fireflies that are gradually disappearing.

The street lights on the side of the road stood up, casting orange light.

I've heard it said that women who have boyfriends or husbands have this habit of waiting for the other party to get drunk and asking him certain questions that he would never answer when he was sober.

Let me clarify here, in fact, men like this too.

like me.

"Hi." I asked with a smile, "Do you like me?"

"Who are you?"

I couldn't see her face, I could only hear a voice as lazy as fluff coming from my ears.

Well, people can't tell the difference.

I thought for a while: "I'm a stranger you don't know."

Such words are passed on.

Immediately afterwards, the girl behind made a sudden movement—she let go of the arms around me, put her hands on my shoulders, and stood up.

"Hey, don't move around, don't move around." My back was stiff, and she was almost thrown by such a struggle, "Stop, stop, stop..."

"You...let me go!" Drunk, thumping his hands and feet as if drowning, "I won't let you carry it."

"Then who do you ask to carry?"

"Young Master Rangyang."

"Who is Mr. Yang?"

"Yes... yes..." She was stunned for a second or two, probably a drunken fragment, "it's someone I like."

I was also taken aback for a second or two.

It may be that the warm skin was cut by the cold wind, and some kind of electric sensation spread in my forehead.

Take a deep breath of winter air.

Spit it out.

"Yo, what a coincidence."

"Miss Yu is also someone I like."

So the cold wind disappeared.

◇

Oh yes, when we got home, she threw up all over me.

For the first time in life, it is worth remembering.

... In the future, we will not have any alcoholic beverages in our house.

◇

When I got home, I helped Miss Yu take off her clothes and shoes and socks.

Originally, I wanted to take a bath for her, but someone said in my memory that people who are drunk take a bath easily catch a cold... I don't know if it is true or not.

Just in case, there is no movement.

The following night, I didn't actually have any thoughts... She was so drunk, no matter how beautiful a girl is, it is hard to be attractive, especially a few minutes ago, a large piece of pungent vomit just came out of her cherry-colored lips. Flock to my new clothes for Chinese New Year this year.

Hormone turns into cholesterol in seconds.

But just because I didn't, doesn't mean she didn't.