left hand

The days went on as usual, almost nothing different happened, and today was as easy to forget as any other day, but it was different at night. The strange things of these few nights made me excited and satisfied.There are still people waiting for me, the feeling of being needed is so sweet, I can't believe it all, I'm afraid it's just a continuous dream.

I can't wait, maybe one day, he will come back to life and be with me.I just simply think so, unwilling to consider other annoying factors.

When night fell again, there was silence.

However, something was missing.By the way, I took out the battery in my pocket, put it in the alarm clock, and adjusted the time.

It was already ten o'clock, and the familiar voice sounded again, but it was not so noisy.

Gradually, gradually, I fell asleep again.Then I had another strange dream, a man covered in blood, although I still couldn't see his face clearly, but I could still feel the smile.

Different from the last time, the two people who were obviously different entered my dream with the same expression, but this time it looked gloomy and terrifying.He seemed to be saying something, but couldn't make out.He grinned grimly and walked towards me step by step.

I woke up suddenly, with lingering fear.There is a warm breath wrapping me, that vague temperature, and that light and warm breath.

My heart suddenly calmed down, but I didn't dare to move.In the quiet night, the whistling sound of the car piercing the tranquility from outside the window flashed by.The leaves flapped in the wind, waking up the birds in their dreams and making soft dreams.The light from far away, coming in from this window, turns from the wall on this side to the wall on the other side until it disappears.The light halo of the street lamp also crept in quietly. I took a peek back and looked at the black figure behind me. He existed so real that I could even feel the beating of his chest from the touching back. rhythm.Take a moment, unhurried, reassuring, that indescribable sense of dependence.

Unknowingly, I breathed lightly, for fear of disturbing the silent night.He is really alive, but I don't dare to test it, let everything go on like this, I feel empty in my mind, I don't know what I'm thinking.All kinds of strange words and pictures appeared in the mind, but there was no clue to connect them. When they thought about it carefully, they fled away again, hiding in some dark corner.

The arm around my body suddenly moved, which made my heart tighten.He exerted all his strength and hugged me tighter, his face touched my hair, and his warm breath breathed into my hair one by one.It was the first time in this life that I tasted the feeling of being filled with warmth in my heart. I really hope that time will stop at this moment and keep everything that is so unreal.

This time, I slept soundly, and the alarm clock finally rang, but I felt like staying in bed, unwilling to leave such a warm bed.

But I don't have this right, there are many things waiting for me to do, I can't make my bed and lose my job.

The days are getting longer day by day, and the temperature is rising little by little.The morning sun shone on the body, although there was no heat, but standing in the golden light and casting long black shadows made people feel warmer.

Ah~ the golden sun radiates the light like the tips of hairs to the surroundings, so subtle and soft, like a fire phoenix in nirvana, reborn from the ashes, taking off the decay of yesterday, and re-emitting the dazzling light, illuminating the earth.

I felt very comfortable and walked a lot more briskly.Arriving at the company on time, I heard the man's voice again: "Hi, good morning."

"Yeah." For some reason, I felt depressed again.

The man walked towards me with a smile, and suddenly, a familiar feeling flooded his whole body.That dream came back to my mind suddenly last night.I took a few steps back.

"What's wrong?" He ran over nervously.

"Nothing..." I waved my hand.

"..." He seemed to want to say something else, so I walked over and sat in my seat.

I saw him staring blankly for a while, then returned to his seat lonely, and looked at me from time to time.My eyes collided, as if I had been attacked, I quickly looked away.

A feeling of uneasiness surged into my heart, I really don’t know why, everything has become very strange recently, when I moved into the rental cabin again, a ghost-like hand appeared on my bed.

With my left hand, I raised my left hand and stretched out criss-cross lines, like countless intertwined threads, and like a sparse net, tightly bound my body and my destiny. Hold the net and don't move.Depressed, the heart can no longer bear too much weight.

Someone came over, all eyes were on him, he looked around, walked to the middle of the crowd, made a gesture, and they gathered towards him.

It should be the supervisor, right?I carefully identified that these people really don't have any distinctive features, they all have two eyes, a nose and a mouth, which really can't be imprinted in my mind.

The supervisor glanced at me, then turned away and said something to everyone.

Do you want to go there?I thought about it, but I didn't want to move. I glanced over there while I was working.I don't know what to say, those people cheered and chattered.

Someone came up to my desk: "Why don't you come over?"

I looked up at him.

"Huh?" He made a questioning tone.

"I'm not going." I said lightly.

But he grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the crowd.

"Wait...let me go." I whispered.

I feel out of place here in my world.From the quiet plane into the noisy different space, all the people looked at me with different expressions and began to talk about it.I feel a little ashamed and want to hide back in my own small world. I live in a small circle all year round and dare not cross the line that didn't exist.

"Want to go to the party? Tonight." The person who pulled me over asked, and I felt an unreasonable dislike in my heart, why does he always bother me?

Others also looked at me, I was a little uncomfortable, the supervisor asked me in an arrogant voice: "Are you going?"

"……it is good"

"It's a holiday this afternoon, come to xxx at seven o'clock in the evening..." I couldn't hear the next words clearly, and they were overwhelmed by the cheers of the crowd.

My eardrums hurt so badly, it seemed like they were about to burst.

Colleagues returned to their seats to pack up, talking about tonight's topic with great interest.More than half of the people in the whole room have left, it's really strange, isn't it a holiday in the afternoon?Why are you leaving now.

"Let's go together?" The man came up to me again and said.

"Oh..." I tidied up briefly, and walked out of the company with him.

Along the way, he kept asking questions, and I just answered them briefly.He seemed to feel my irritability, calmed down, and walked with me silently for a while.He followed me all the way to the downstairs of my house, I stopped and looked at him.

He smiled at me a little embarrassedly: "So your family lives here."

I turned and walked towards the stairs: "Goodbye."

"Goodbye...you must come tonight." He suddenly shouted, and I gave a shallow "hmm", so light that I couldn't even hear it.

It's the same place, the same things, back to a home that's always been this way.It's still early and I don't know what to do.Everything in this world is very boring, maybe my life is too monotonous, so monotonous that I can't feel the colorfulness of this world.Maybe people like me have to live alone all their lives, secretly lonely in their own small world.

I went to the bathroom, took some water and washed my face. Is the person in the mirror on the wall me?Why is it so strange? It turns out that I have forgotten myself. The black paint on the edge of the mirror peeled off, and the place where it fell off became ordinary glass. It looks so old, and there is green patina on the faucet. A dirty feeling.There is hidden green in the corner of the wall, where small bacteria breed, they love the dark and humid environment, and grow wantonly there.

Overlook, bird's eye view.A beautiful and harmonious appearance, the joy outside seems to be incompatible with me, the warm and gentle wind of spring, blowing in, brings the chill left behind in winter.

What about the company party tonight?Doves?However, I had to go again, and I told everyone that I was embarrassed not to go, so what should I do?

Time passed by like this, every minute and every second, without any nostalgia.The time has come when I cannot hesitate.

"Alas~" I took a pair of clothes and put them on my body, and walked out of the room.

"Bang!" The door was slammed shut by the wind, and the entire corridor seemed to vibrate. Even the dust couldn't catch the wall that had been stuck to it for a long time, and fell down gently.

The author has something to say:

I wrote this a few years ago, and the following is what I added some time ago.