Harry Potter and the Way of Reason

Any sufficiently advanced J.K. Rowling is indistinguishable from magic. [2]

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"That sure looks like something I'd do, doesn't it?"

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At breakfast time on Friday, Harry took another big bite of toast and reminded himself that even if he choked himself to death with breakfast, he couldn't go to the dungeon sooner.In any case, there was still a full hour of self-study between breakfast and Potions.

But this is a dungeon!It's the Hogwarts dungeon! [3] Harry's imagination was already picturing bottomless abysses, narrow bridges, candlesticks with torches, and patches of shiny moss.Will there be mice?Will there be dragons?

"Harry Potter," a voice whispered behind him.

Harry turned to see that it was Ernie MacMillan, looking slightly concerned in his neat yellow-trimmed robes.

"Neville thought I should warn you," Ernie whispered. "I think he's right. Be careful with the Potions teacher in class today. The Hufflepuff seniors told us that Professor Snape was very vicious to people he disliked, and he was very vicious to most people who weren't Snape." Leitlin's students are not pleasing to the eye. From what we've heard, if you talk back to him... the consequences could be serious. You'd better keep your head down and not give him a reason to notice you."

Harry considered it for a moment, then raised his eyebrows. (Harry would love to be able to raise only one eyebrow like Spock,[4] but has never been able to learn.) "Thank you," said Harry. "You probably saved me a lot of trouble."

Ernie nodded and turned back to the Hufflepuff table.

Harry continued eating his toast.

After about four mouthfuls, someone said "Excuse me—" Harry turned around to see a Ravenclaw senior looking worried—

Some time later, Harry was eating a third plate of sliced ​​ham. (He's learned to eat as much as possible at breakfast. He can always eat less at lunch if he doesn't use the Time-Turner.) Then another voice behind him said, "Harry?"

"I see," said Harry helplessly, "I'll try not to draw Professor Snape's attention—"

"Oh, that's impossible," said Fred.

"Nothing at all," George said.

"So we got the house-elves to bake you a cake," said Fred.

"We'll light as many candles on the cake as you make Ravenclaw lose house points," George said.

"We'll have a party for you at the Gryffindor table at lunch," Fred said.

"We hope you're a little happier afterward," said George's last words.

Harry swallowed the last mouthful of ham and turned around. "Okay," Harry said. "After Professor Binns, I was determined not to ask, I really don't want to ask anymore, but if Professor Snape is so bad, why hasn't he been fired?"

"Fired?" Fred said.

"You mean, let him go?" said George.

"Yeah," Harry said. "That's what you do with bad teachers. You fire them. Then you hire a better teacher. You don't have unions or tenure here?"

Fred and George frowned, looking like hunter-gatherer elders listening to calculus.

"Don't know," said Fred after a while. "I never thought of that."

"Me neither," said George.

"I know," said Harry, "I've heard that a lot. See you at lunch, boys, and don't blame me if there's no candles on the cake."

Fred and George laughed at the same time, like Harry was telling a joke.They bowed to him and went back to the Gryffindor table.

Harry turned to the breakfast table and took another cupcake.His stomach was already full, but he had a hunch that he might need a lot of calories this morning.

As Harry ate his cupcake, he recalled his worst teacher so far, Professor Binns who taught history.Professor Binns is a ghost.From Hermione's introduction to ghosts, they are not fully self-aware.Ghosts have never made major discoveries, or even any original works, no matter who they were in life.Ghosts seem to have a hard time remembering things from this century.Hermione said they were like accidental portraits, the result of a burst of psychic energy imprinted on the surrounding matter from a wizard's sudden death.

Harry had had some stupid teachers in his early failures with a standard Muggle education - of course, his dad was far more picky when it came to choosing graduate students as his private tutors - but history was the first time he'd ever had one To a teacher who literally has no sense of self.

And it showed.Harry gave up listening to the lecture after five minutes and began to read the textbook by himself.When Harry found out that "Professor Binns" had no intention of protesting, he simply took the earplugs out of the pouch.

Are ghosts unpaid?Is this the reason?Or is Hogwarts really unable to fire anyone, even if they're dead?

It now seemed that Professor Snape was terrible at treating anyone who wasn't a Slytherin, yet no one thought of breaking his contract.

And the principal burned a chicken to death.

"Excuse me," a worried voice came from behind.

"I swear," said Harry without turning away, "it's almost as bad as the eight and a half percent of Oxford that Dad said it was."

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Harry walked angrily down the stone corridor, looking offended, exasperated, and shocked.

"Dungeon!" Harry yelled angrily. "Dungeon! What kind of dungeon is this! This is the basement! The basement!"

Some Ravenclaw girls looked at him strangely.Boys are used to him by now.

It appears that the level where the Potions classrooms are located is called the "Dungeon" simply because it's below ground level and slightly cooler than the main body of the castle.

This is Hogwarts!This is Hogwarts!Harry has been looking forward to seeing a real dungeon all his life, but he still hasn't seen it. If there is a decent dungeon on the surface of the earth, it should be in Hogwarts!Did Harry have to build a castle himself to see a small abyss?

Soon they were in the Potions classroom, and Harry felt much better.

In the Potions classroom, every centimeter of space between the closets was fitted with shelves holding huge vials floating in them with all sorts of strange biological specimens.The books Harry had read had already enabled him to recognize some of the creatures, such as the Zambris Kenfondanma. [6] Although the [-]-centimeter-long spider looks a lot like an acromantia, it is too small to be expected to be.He wanted to ask Hermione, but she was very reluctant to look where his fingers were pointing.

While Harry was looking at a large dust ball with eyes and feet, the assassin entered the room with his head held high.

This was Harry's first impression of Professor Severus Snape.There was something quiet and deadly about the man who stalked among the children's desks.His robe was rumpled and his hair was greasy with dandruff.There are certain qualities about him that remind one of Lucius, even though the two are completely different in appearance.You get the impression that if Lucius is going to kill you with impeccable grace, this man will simply kill you.

"Sit down," said Professor Severus Snape. "immediately."

Harry and a few children who were standing and talking hurried to their seats.Harry had planned to sit next to Hermione, but ended up sitting at the nearest empty desk to where he was, next to Justin Finlayry (this was a double class, Ravenclaw and Hermione). Chippaches are grouped together), on Hermione's left, two tables away.

Severus sat down behind the teacher's desk, and without any transition or introduction, he said abruptly, "Hannah Abbott."

"Yes," said Hannah in a trembling voice.

"Susan Bones."

"arrive."

So the roll call continued, and no one dared to interrupt until:

"Ah, yes. Harry Potter. Our new . . . celebrity."

"Celebrity arrival, sir."

Half the students flinched, and a few brighter ones seemed eager to run out the door while the classroom was still there.

Severus smiled expectantly and continued with the roll call.

Harry sighed inwardly.It was so sudden that he didn't react.Oh forget it.Although I don't know why, but this person has obviously disliked him for a long time.On second thought, it was much better for the Potions Master to make trouble for him than for him to make trouble with other students, like Neville or Hermione.Harry was much better at protecting himself than they were.Yes, maybe this is the best ending.

After roll call, Severus glanced across the classroom.His eyes were as empty as a starless night sky.

"You're going to be here," Severus said softly, so that the students in the back row had to prick their ears to hear, "to learn the delicate science and exacting craft of potion-making. Since there's no foolish waving of wands here, any of you Many will not believe this is magic. I don't expect you to really understand the beauty of the slow-boiling cauldron and rising mist, the power of a potion that creeps through the veins of a human being," he said caressingly and The heartfelt tune, "Bewitches the brain, seduces the senses," is getting creepier. "I can teach you how to increase fame, brew glory, and even stop dying—if you weren't a bunch of idiots like the students I usually meet."

For some reason, Severus seemed to notice the suspicious look on Harry's face, or at least his eyes suddenly shifted to where Harry was sitting.

"Potter!" said the Potions Professor. "If I add powdered daffodil root to a wormwood infusion, what will I get?"

Harry froze for a moment. "Is this in Magic Potions and Potions?" he said. "I've just finished reading it, and I don't recall any potion being made with wormwood—"

Hermione's hand went up, and Harry gave her a glare, which resulted in her raising her hand even higher.

"Tut, tut," Severus said smoothly. "Fame is clearly not everything."

"Really?" said Harry. "But you just said that you want to teach us to increase our reputation. I want to ask, what is the principle of this? You can become a celebrity by drinking the potion?"

Three quarters of the students cringed.

Hermione's hand came down slowly.In fact, this is not surprising.She may be his competitor, but the professor is obviously humiliating him on purpose, she will not continue to cooperate at this time, she is not that kind of girl.

Harry was trying to control his anger.The first throwback that came to his mind was originally "Abu Dhaka Dabra".

"Give you another chance," Severus said. "Potter, if I told you to find a bezoar, where would you go?"

"It's not in the textbook either," said Harry, "but I've read about coprolites in a Muggle book,[5] which are lumps of hair that live in human stomachs, and Muggles used to Believe it is the antidote to all poisons—”

"Wrong," Severus said. "The bezoar is in the stomach of the goat, it's not the hair, it's the antidote to most poisons, but not all."

"I didn't say it could, I mean I read in a Muggle book—"

"Nobody here cares about your pathetic Muggle books. Last chance. Potter, what's the difference between aconite and wolfsbane?"

He's had enough.

"You know," said Harry coldly, "one of my rather interesting Muggle books describes a study showing that people can make themselves better off by examining other people about insignificant facts only they know." Appears very clever. Apparently onlookers only notice that the person who asks the question knows the answer and the person who answers does not, and ignores the unfairness of the game itself. So, Professor, can you tell me how much the outermost layer of the carbon atom is an electron?"

Severus smiled even wider. "Four," he said. "But this fact is of no use at all, and no one need bother to write it down. Let me tell you that Potter, Narcissus, and wormwood can be made into a powerful sleeping potion called the Water of Death. Wolf's poison and aconite are The same plant, also known as Aconitum, if you've read A Thousand Wonder Herbs and Fungi. You think you can come to class without reading a book, Potter? The rest of you should copy these out so you won't be like He's just as ignorant." Severus paused, looking rather smug. "Do you want to deduct...five points? No, it's better to make up a whole number and deduct ten house points from Ravenclaw for you to talk back."

Hermione gasped, as did many of the other students.

"Professor Severus Snape," Harry said through gritted teeth. "I don't know what I did to offend you. If you have something against me that I don't know, I suggest we—"

"Shut up, Potter. Ten more points to Ravenclaw. The others turn to page three."

There was just a slight burning sensation in the back of Harry's throat, and not a single tear in his eye.There was no point in crying if it wasn't an effective way to destroy the Potions Master.

Slowly, Harry sat up straight.His blood appeared to be drained, replaced by liquid nitrogen.He knew he'd been trying to control his anger, but he couldn't remember why.

"Harry," Hermione whispered anxiously across the two tables, "no, please, it's fine, we don't count—"

"Lecture talk, Granger? Three—"

"So," said a voice colder than absolute zero, "how should I formally file a complaint against an abusive professor? Should I speak to the Vice-Principal, or write a letter to the Board of Trustees... Could you please explain the specific procedure? ?”

The atmosphere in the entire classroom froze.

"One month's labor service, Potter," Severus said, grinning wider.

"I refuse to recognize your authority as a teacher, nor accept any penalty for your labor service."

Everyone was too scared to vent their anger.

Severus' smile disappeared. "Then you will be—" He stopped suddenly.

"Expulsion, do you want to say this?" Harry smiled faintly at this moment. "But you seem to have doubts about your ability to carry out the threat, or fear the consequences of carrying it out. But I am neither afraid nor doubt that I can find a school where the professors are not so abusive. Or I can also get private tutors, like I used to, and be educated at my full learning pace. I have enough money in my coffers. Looks like my bonus for defeating a dark lord. But Hogwarts also has one that I like Professor, so I thought it would be better to try to get rid of you."

"Get rid of me?" Severus said, now also smiling slightly. "What a funny self-righteousness. How are you going to get rid of me, Potter?"

"I know many students and parents are dissatisfied with you," this is a guess, but it should be more or less the same, "so there is only one question left, why you have not been expelled. Is the economy of Hogwarts so tight , can't even afford to hire a decent Potions professor? If that's the case, I can sponsor. I'm sure they could find a much better teacher if they would pay double your salary .”

Two icicles radiate the cold breath of severe winter in the classroom.

"You'll find," Severus said softly, "that the trustees have no interest in your proposal."

"Lucius..." Harry said. "That's why you're still here. Maybe I should talk to Lucius about it. I'm sure he's eager to know me. Wonder if I have something he wants?"

Hermione was shaking her head furiously at him.Harry saw it out of the corner of his eye, but his attention was entirely on Severus.

"You're a very stupid boy," Severus said.There was no smile on his face now. "You have nothing that Lucius values ​​more than my friendship. Even if you have, I have other allies." His voice hardened. "I find it increasingly inconceivable that you weren't sorted into Slytherin. How did you avoid my house? Ah, yes, because the Sorting Hat said it was joking. For the first time ever. You What was the talk with the Sorting Hat, Potter? Did you have something it wanted?"

Harry met Severus' icy stare, remembering that the Sorting Hat had warned him not to look anyone in the eye while thinking about it - and Harry shifted his gaze to Severus' desk.

"You're wondering why you dare not look me in the eye, Potter!"

He suddenly realized—"So it was you who the Sorting Hat warned me about!"

"What?" said Severus' voice, sounding genuinely surprised, but of course Harry didn't look in his face.

Harry stood up and left his desk.

"Sit down, Potter," came an angry voice from a direction he wasn't looking.

Harry ignored him and looked around the classroom. "I have no intention of letting an incompetent professor ruin my life at Hogwarts," Harry said with deadly calm. "I'm going to give up this class and hire a private tutor to teach me Potions, or if the school director is that bad, study it during the summer. If any of you decide that you don't want to be bullied by this person, then my class Open to you too."

"Sit down, Potter!"

Harry strode across the room and took hold of the doorknob.

The doorknob won't turn.

Harry turned back slowly, and before he could remember to look away, he caught a glimpse of the malicious grin on Severus' face.

"Open the door."

"No," Severus said.

"You make me feel threatened," said a cold voice that didn't sound like Harry at all. "This is a mistake."

Severus' voice broke into laughter. "Then what are you going to do, kid?"

Harry strode six steps back, until he reached the back row of desks.

Then Harry straightened up and raised his right hand in a terrible motion in a snapping gesture.

Neville screamed and hid under the table.Some of the other children were hiding behind, and some subconsciously raised their arms to protect themselves.

"Harry no!" Hermione screamed. "Whatever you want to do to him, don't!"

"Are you all crazy?" Severus' voice snarled.

Harry lowered his right hand slowly. "I wasn't going to hurt him, Hermione," Harry said, lowering his voice a little. "I just wanted to blow the door open."

But now that Harry thinks about it, you can't transform anything and burn it, which means that, going back in time after the fact, asking Fred or George to conjure him the exact amount of dynamite isn't really a good idea..

"No sound," said Severus' voice.

Harry tried to say "What?" but found he couldn't make a sound.

"Absurd. I think you've got enough trouble in one day, Potter. You're the most disruptive, lawless student I've ever met. I don't remember how many points Ravenclaw has now Yes, but I'm sure I can take them all off. Ten points from Ravenclaw. Ten points from Ravenclaw. Ten points from Ravenclaw! Fifty points from Ravenclaw! Now sit down and watch the other students Attend class!"

Harry reached into the pouch and tried to say "markers," but of course no sound came out.For a moment he was stumped; then it occurred to Harry that he could spell the word marker-marker-pen with his fingers, and he succeeded.Scratch-pad-pad And then he got his pad.Harry strode over to an empty desk, not the one he'd been sitting at, and wrote a short message there.He tore off the paper, put the markers and pad in his robe pocket for later access, and held up his message, not toward Severus, but toward the other students.

I gotta go

there are others

Need to leave?

"You're crazy, Potter," Severus said in a voice of cold contempt.

Other than that, no one spoke.

Harry bowed sarcastically to the teachers' desk, walked to the wall, flung open a closet door, walked in and shut it behind him.

There was a muffled sound of someone snapping their fingers in the closet, and then it was silent again.

In the classroom, the students looked at each other, both confused and frightened.

The Potions Professor had a look of rage on his face.He crossed the room with terrible strides and pulled open the closet door.

The closet is empty.

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The clock was turned back an hour, and Harry listened in the closed closet.There is no sound outside, but there is no need to risk it.

Doo-pon, spelling the word with his fingers.

After being invisible, he carefully and slowly opened the door of the closet a little, and glanced at it.There seemed to be no one in the classroom.

The door is not locked.

When Harry left this dangerous place and stood in the corridor, in the safety of invisibility, part of the anger disappeared and he realized what he had just done.

What did he just do.

Harry's invisible face froze in sheer horror.

His confrontation with a teacher was three orders of magnitude more intense than the previous worst case scenario.He threatened to drop out of Hogwarts, maybe he had to keep his word.He lost all his Ravenclaw house points and used a Time-Turner...

His imagination showed the yelling of his parents after he had been expelled, Professor McGonagall's disappointment in him, it was too painful for him to bear, and he couldn't think of any way to save himself—

What made Harry finally think again was that if anger could get him into so much trouble, then maybe he could think of a solution in a state of anger.For some reason, he seemed to see things very clearly when he was angry.

What Harry didn't let himself think about was that he couldn't face his future if he wasn't angry.

So he began to think about the burning humiliation.

Tut, tut.Fame is obviously not everything.

Ten house points from Ravenclaw for talking back.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief as the calming cold returned, running through his veins like waves held back by a reef.

alright.back to rationality.

In fact, he was a little disappointed in himself who was not angry, and actually collapsed like that, only thinking about how to get rid of the trouble in front of him.Professor Severus Snape is everyone's problem.Normal Harry forgets this and just tries to protect himself.Leave the other victims alone and let them die?It wasn't a question of how to protect himself, but a question of how to destroy this potions professor.

So that's my dark side, isn't it?This statement is not fair, my bright side looks more selfish and cowardly, not to mention confused and timid.

When he was able to think calmly, it was equally clear what to do next.He had given himself an hour to prepare, and could go back another five hours if necessary...

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Minerva McGonagall was waiting in the headmaster's office.

Dumbledore sat on a soft throne behind his desk, wearing four layers of purple formal robes.Minerva sat in a chair in front of him, and Severus sat in another opposite.Facing the three of them was an empty wooden stool.

They are waiting for Harry Potter.

Harry, thought Minerva disappointedly, you promised not to bite any teachers!

In her mind, she could clearly imagine Harry's reaction, his angry face and righteous indignation answer: I said that as long as others don't bite me, I will not bite others!

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" said Dumbledore.

The door opened and Harry Potter walked in.Minerva almost gasped loudly.The kid looked calm, composed, and firmly in control.

"Good morning—" Harry stopped suddenly.His jaw dropped.

Minerva followed Harry's line of sight and saw Harry staring at Fawkes the Phoenix on the golden platform.Fawkes flapped bright red-gold wings like flickering flames, and gave Harry a deliberate nod of greeting.

Harry turned and stared at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore winked at him.

Minerva felt as if she had missed something.

A look of uncertainty suddenly appeared on Harry's face.His calm wavered.There was first fear in his eyes, then anger, and then the boy calmed down again.

Minerva felt a chill run down her spine.Something is wrong.

"Sit down, please," said Dumbledore.His expression became serious again.

Harry sat down.

"Then, Harry," said Dumbledore. "I have heard from Professor Snape what happened today. Would you like to tell me what happened in your own words?"

Harry shot Severus a disdainful glance. "It's very simple," the boy said with a faint smile. "He tried to bully me, and he has been bullying every student in the school who is not a Slytherin since Lucius forced him on you. As for the other details, I ask to speak to you alone. After all, you can't A student who reports a professor's abuse is expected to speak up in front of the professor himself."

This time Minerva couldn't help it, she gasped loudly.

Severus just laughed.

The headmaster's expression became very serious. "Mr. Potter," said the headmaster, "you can't say that about a Hogwarts professor. I'm afraid you have a deep misunderstanding. Severus Snape has all my confidence, he is in my own Asked to work for Hogwarts, not Lucius Malfoy."

A moment of silence.

When the boy spoke again, his voice was as cold as ice. "What did I do wrong?"

"You've got many things wrong, Mr Potter," said the Headmaster. "First of all, you should understand that this meeting is to discuss how to deal with you this morning."

"This man terrorized your school for years. I talked to other students and collected enough material to start a campaign in the newspapers and get parents to unite against him. Some of the younger students told me in tears. I almost cried! You let this sadist get away with it? You do this to your students? Why?"

Minerva swallowed the lump in her throat.She—has thought about it, sometimes, but for some reason she hasn’t—

"Mr Potter," said the Headmaster, his voice stern, "this meeting is not about Professor Snape. It is about you, and your disregard for school discipline. Professor Snape suggested, and I agree. , should be punished with three full months of labor service—"

"I refuse," Harry said coldly.

Minerva was dumbfounded.

"It's not a request, Mr. Potter," said the headmaster, all the menacing eyes in his eyes focused on the boy. "This is your punishment—"

"You have to explain to me why you allowed this man to harm the children in your care, and if your explanation is unsatisfactory, you will be targeted by my newspaper campaign."

Minerva swayed as if she had been hit hard, at the utter outrage.

Even Severus looked stunned.

"That's very, very unwise, Harry," said Dumbledore slowly. "I'm the main pawn on the chessboard against Lucius. If you do something like this, it'll strengthen him tremendously, and I don't think he's your chosen side."

The boy was silent for a long time.

"We'll talk in private," Harry said.He pointed at Severus. "Tell him to go away."

Dumbledore shook his head. "Harry, didn't I tell you that Severus Snape has all my confidence?"

The boy's face was full of shock. "This man's abusive behavior is going to be your soft spot! I'm not the only one who can run a newspaper campaign against you! This is insane! Why would you do that?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I'm sorry, Harry. I can't tell you the reason for this just yet."

The boy stared at Dumbledore.Then he turned to look at Severus.Then he turned to Dumbledore.

"It sure is madness," the boy said slowly. "You indulge him because you think he's part of the law. Hogwarts needs an evil potions professor to be a classic school of wizardry, just as it needs a ghost to teach history."

"It's pretty much like what I'd do, isn't it?" Dumbledore laughed.

"I don't accept that," Harry said flatly.His eyes were cold and dark now. "I have zero tolerance for abuse and bullying. I have considered many possible ways to deal with this, but I will keep it simple. Either let this man go or I go."

Minerva gasped again.There was a strange gleam in Severus' eyes.

At this moment, Dumbledore's eyes also became cold. "Expulsion, Mr. Potter, is the last threat that can be used against a student. It is not usually a student's threat to the headmaster. This is the best wizarding school in the world, and the opportunity for an education here is not available to everyone. Don't you think Hogwarts can't do without you?"

Harry just sat there, smiling slightly.

Minerva suddenly realized a terrible thing.Shouldn't Harry—

"You forget," Harry said, "you're not the only one who sees patterns. Let's talk in private. Now let him—" Harry pointed at Severus again, then paused midway.

Minerva could see the moment on Harry's face as he remembered it.

After all, she was the one who told him.

"Mr Potter," said the Headmaster, "I repeat, Severus Snape has my full confidence."

"You told him," the boy whispered. "You are a complete fool."

Dumbledore was unmoved by the insult. "What did you tell him?"

"Said the Dark Lord was alive."

"In the name of Merlin, what are you talking about, Potter?" Sev