What happened in the summer of 2020

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Down a steep slope.

Came to a slightly open weedy field.

The warm sun shines on the body, making it comfortable.

I suddenly thought of a funny idea, and I was about to share it with a certain person——I saw him lying on the grass, looking very comfortable, rolling over in a ridiculous way, and came out with a sentence: Thank you Shi Nan.

Ok?

I said: Thank you for what?

He rolled again and said: Thanks for bringing me here.

What's there to be thankful for?

He said: Come to your hometown, climb the mountain you climbed when you were a child, I can cross one item off my list.

That's it?I said: Thought something exciting would be on your list.

He rolled farther and farther away, feeling complacent, and said: I may be a little old too, and I am starting to care about my status.

Emmm...

Why is the time quiet again?

I said: Come back, let's continue running.

He rolled back, got up and patted the blades of grass on his shirt, and said: Don't run away, it's dangerous.

I just saw a bloodstain on his forehead.

Ah, I feel so distressed, I said: You are disfigured.

He took a Band-Aid from his pocket.

I said: You also brought this?

He said: I don't know where it came from.

what?

Did you just hit a tree and be silly?

I remembered the idea I was going to share with him just now, and I said: If I fell and lost my memory while running, it would become an idol drama.

He said: I don't want to lose my memory.

I said: I used to think amnesia was not bad, but I don’t seem to think so now.

He said: Are you afraid of forgetting me?

Uh, I said: I am afraid that I will forget the roe deer.

If you don't run, don't run.

Walk slowly down the mountain.

Time flies in the mountains.

Mom called and urged us to go back for dinner at four o'clock.

Because I didn't eat at noon, and went up and down the mountain again, I was really hungry.

Cycle back to the village.

I ran into an acquaintance again, who was my female classmate in elementary school.

She said: I met your dad just now, and he told me that you are back.

I introduced a certain one to her.

She said: Your father said that you are going to the airport tomorrow, and I will drive back to the city, just in time to take you.

I was embarrassed to trouble her, but she said generously: That's it.

When I got home, my mother was busy in the kitchen and asked if I was hungry and had freshly cooked edamame.

After a while, the hot dishes were served.

A certain one can eat and speak at the same time, making my mother very happy.

When Dad mentioned the female classmate just now, he seemed to be chatting with someone, saying how sensible he was, but I knew he was talking to me.

I said: I saw her WeChat just now, she seems to have a date.

Dad was very shocked, even a little panicked, and hurriedly confirmed with my mother.

My mother said: I haven't heard of it.

Dad didn't even have the mood to eat, and he wanted to call to ask about the situation immediately, and expressed his hatred for my indifference.

At first I thought Dad was just nagging.

However, after he started talking, the more he talked, the atmosphere at the dinner table changed.

I know that he has always had a lot of thoughts about my marriage, but he usually restrains himself when talking on the phone, but he couldn't stop today.

My mother wanted to stop it, but my father complained, saying that she didn't care about me and only let him worry about it.

My dad's words have a lot of truth in his opinion.

But I didn't talk back.

Because although he was berating me, I felt that he himself had a lot of grievances.

And that's just me being 28 and unmarried.

If I told him I might never get married.

If I told him I was going to live a life he couldn't imagine.

I don't know what kind of words he will blurt out.

Maybe my dad said he was tired, maybe my ears were denoising.

There seemed to be a silence.

I unconsciously picked up a dish with chopsticks.

My dad suddenly exploded and slapped the table so hard that the bowls and chopsticks fell to the ground.

The clanging sound brought back bad memories for me.

A certain person just went out for a while, and as soon as he returned to the house, he saw debris on the ground.

He said: Don't move, I will collect it.

My mother was going to help, but she wiped it clean after a few strokes, and asked my mother if the garbage is sorted here.

Due to the presence of a certain person, my dad's tone was more relaxed, and he didn't want to talk to me anymore, saying that I don't like oil and salt, and I'm not sensible.

One said: Your family XX (my name) is not sensible yet?You haven't been to Shanghai to see him, and you don't know that he does all aspects of life by himself.

My dad said: What's the use of that, you don't focus on business.

One said: He also works very hard, working overtime for the company's lawsuit, and he doesn't even have time to eat.Shanghai is under a lot of pressure, and life is not easy.He is alone, relying on himself for work and living by himself, and he has handled it very well.

And my dad also mentioned that if I have a partner in Shanghai and someone to take care of him, he doesn't have to worry so much, so many people work hard and don't delay the marriage.

I'm on my tongue.

How many times have I held back my words.Play dumb and avoid conflict.

Since I was a child, I have been particularly afraid of conflicts at home.

However, today Dad has already taken a step forward.

I can foresee what kind of hurdles will be waiting for me at the age of 29 and 30 in the near future.

Suddenly, I felt very tired and a little aggrieved.

I have lost the strength to hide it all the time.

Since I have to endure this kind of difficulty in life once, why not choose this time when I have someone by my side?

Must have felt something, my mother reached out and held me.

I regained my senses a little bit.

My mother said: Your hands are always so cold.

Originally, when she came back from Shanghai suddenly this time, she was a little worried, and she told me about a very good young man in the next village who got mentally ill, saying: You have been very thoughtful since you were a child. Tell me and your dad about any difficulties.

I suddenly felt a little hot-eyed.

I didn't want to cry after being scolded for so long, but when my mother cared about me, she wanted to cry.

I actually did nothing wrong.

I just, in a very soft voice: I just, don't want to have a girlfriend.

My mother was a little puzzled.

My dad asked why.

A certain looked at me, as if wanting me to think carefully.

I let out a long breath.

I don't want to make any more excuses.

I said: I may just be different from others.I've always chosen places far from home, probably out of fear that you guys would know where I really live.

I looked at a certain person and said: He is not only my colleague.

My dad already understood.

My mother also understood a little bit.

Then, it's a certain time.

He talks a lot.

Some don't, important, unimportant.

He kept talking until the tense atmosphere melted away bit by bit in his words.

He never explicitly mentioned homosexuality, but our relationship couldn't have been more clearly stated.

My mother was a little sad, but she never let go of my hand.

While speaking at one point, my dad was lost in thought.

Finally, it was dark outside the window.

My dad finally spoke and asked me: Did you find him yourself?

I said: I am like this, it has nothing to do with finding him or not.

One thought that he had to take responsibility, so he promised my father: I took the initiative to find your son, but I respect his wishes very much.If one day he changes his mind and decides to live the life you arranged, I will die of grief, but I won't hold him back either.

This assumption of one day may have comforted my father a little. He looked at my mother, and my mother nodded.

My dad looked at me again and said: Forget it, I can't control you now, and you will understand when you suffer in the future.Who knows, you might find a worse one, you never know people, you don't know how to choose.I regret it very much now. At the beginning, many things were done by your temper.If you listen to me and take the exam as a teacher, your life will be much easier, but you have to study law.How about going to the law firm?You are not suitable at all.

Emmm...

Knowing a son is like a father.

But, I said: I plan to go back to be a lawyer again.