slowly

Read chapters slowly, fall in love slowly in spring.

depression?

Of course Ning Zhi knows about depression. In this era of fragmented wealth, multiple values, rapid changes, and high pressure, this mental illness has attracted more and more people's attention.

But "Zheng Qiudai will suffer from depression", he couldn't believe it.First of all, it needs an incentive. Any disease will not happen for no reason. Of course, the death of a family member is a considerable blow. Ning Zhi’s grandparents passed away early. For his mother, most of the trauma came from her husband’s sudden death.

June [-]rd, that date is unforgettable in Ning Zhi's mind, but counting on his fingers, almost two years have passed.

Time will dilute the sadness. In the past two years, Zheng Qiudai still lived a regular life, performing in the symphony orchestra every week.Not long ago she decided to retire, Ning Zhi was very surprised, Zheng Qiudai's reason was "it's time to give the opportunity to the young people".

Ning Zhi had never associated his mother with depression. He still remembered that when Ning Ranzhang passed away, the family was in chaos for a while, but Zheng Qiudai soon cheered up and began to take care of her husband's funeral in an orderly manner.Ning Ranzhang had a high status in the oil painting circle during his lifetime, so guests from home and abroad came to express their condolences. For nearly a month, they were so busy that they were so busy that in Ning Zhi's impression, it was hard to find even a moment of peace when he burst into tears.

Zheng Qiudai survived the most painful time, but today, two years later, can't she survive it?Or is the calmness and strength she displayed, in fact, all a disguise?

Ning Zhi lived in the old house for three or four days.

Jiang Chan's reminder made him uneasy, he suffered from insomnia at night, often thought about depression, and checked a lot of information on the Internet.He observed quietly, before going out, after get off work, whenever he had time, he would surround Zheng Qiudai and pay attention to her mental state.

Zheng Qiudai didn't know about it, but he was very happy with Ning Zhi's stay in the old house. Every night, he cooked hot meals for him.Ning Zhi couldn't swallow.It's not that the taste is bad, but that when he comes home from get off work, he often sees his mother sitting on the sofa, lost in thought with an unturned book.Hearing the sound of the door being pushed, Zheng Qiudai would brush his hair, stand up slowly, and whisper, "Wash your hands and eat."

The villa is far away from the company, Ning Zhi drove their family's old BMW to commute.Ning Ranzhang didn't know how to drive, this car had been used by Zheng Qiudai all the time, but when Ning Zhi walked into the garage that day, he found that a thick layer of dust had accumulated on the car body.It seems that in the past two months, Zheng Qiudai has not traveled far at all, at most he just walked to the nearby vegetable market to buy vegetables.

More and more details emerged, making Ning Zhi no longer dare to take chances.

"Let's watch TV." The villa was really deserted, so Ning Zhi picked up the remote control and chose a channel at random.It happened to be the time of the news broadcast, and I listened to it while eating, and finally got a little bit of fireworks from ordinary people.

Zheng Qiudai only filled a small half bowl of rice, with downcast eyes, chewing slowly, seemingly concentrating, but actually in a trance.

Ning Zhi asked: "Mom, what did you have for lunch?"

"I just made some." Zheng Qiudai answered vaguely, and Ning Zhi guessed that she didn't eat anything.

"How's your sleep lately?"

"It's pretty good." Zheng Qiudai was a little slow, looked up at Ning Zhi, smiled, and seemed to want to find something to talk about: "You...how is your work?"

"Fortunately. The exhibition of Dadaism works is closed. Zhujie sent me to do a small photography exhibition and take full responsibility." After working as an assistant for nearly two years, I was finally able to independently plan an exhibition. Although the scale is small, it is also called It's a rare opportunity.Ning Zhi was very happy when he was in the company, but when he returned home and saw Zheng Qiudai's state, his joy was replaced by worry.

"Good thing," Zheng Qiudai nodded, "You can also lead the team in the future."

"That's still early." Ning Zhi smiled, seeing that Zheng Qiudai seemed interested in his work, so he said a few more words: "It's a photography exhibition. I heard that the photographer was quite famous in the fashion circle. I turned to landscape photography in [-], won some awards, and now take pictures for "Physical Geography."

"Do you have any sponsors? Your dad used to know some people who invested in art. I still have my business card. Let's see if I can..." Zheng Qiudai put down his chopsticks, and Ning Zhi hurriedly stopped him: "No, Mom, Sister Zhu said, Don’t worry about the funds, the photographer has an older brother, and the family will invest in him. Regardless of the cost, we only want the effect.”

Zheng Qiudai sat back again: "That's it. Then you have to do it seriously."

"I know." Ning Zhi saw Zheng Qiudai began to fiddle with the rice grains in the bowl again, with the chopsticks loosely held by his fingertips, looking absent-minded.He finally said, "Mom, let's go to the hospital."

The lights are off, and through the tulle curtains, you can see the neon lights flickering in the distance.Ning Zhi was lying on the bed that he slept in since he was a child, and there seemed to be thorns underneath, tossing and turning, he was not stable.

Chung Choo-dai's refusal to go to the hospital, while expected, frustrates him nonetheless.The older generation always have some stubborn and traditional ideas, and Zheng Qiudai is no exception. He has some psychological barriers to "going to see a psychiatrist".

Ning Zhi earnestly narrated the popular science articles he read on the Internet, but Zheng Qiudai said, I know my body well, so don't worry about it.Ning Zhi was anxious to get angry, but also felt aggrieved, and impulsively provoked: "Then whoever I like is my business, and you don't care about it in the future."

In a tense atmosphere, the two broke up unhappy.

Back in the bedroom, Ning Zhi calmed down, feeling regretful.Zheng Qiudai had already noticed his abnormal sexual orientation, and it would be too cruel and too much to make another stab at this time.The words of apology could not be said, when Zheng Qiudai passed by his bedroom, Ning Zhi said through the door: "Mom, I am doing it for your own good."

After a few seconds, Zheng Qiudai's low-pitched response came from outside: "Yes."

But this "hmm" did not mean a compromise. She still said that she knew what she knew and refused to go to the hospital.

11:30, neither too early nor too late.Ning Zhi stopped rolling, sat up from the bed, picked up his phone and sent Jiang Chan a message: "What are you doing?"

As soon as he pressed send, he wanted to withdraw. At this time, the phone vibrated, and a new message came in. He hurriedly clicked on it, but it was not Jiang Chan, but Bai Xu: "Ningzhi! Don't give me face. It doesn't matter how long my bar has been open. But come to hold a show!"

Ning Zhi sent him a few full stops, then quickly exited, withdrawing the boring "what are you doing".

"I saw your Weibo, and you went to Ying County to ride a horse! I'm in Lujiang's business and you don't come to support me, it's not interesting!" Bai Xu likes to chatter, talking nonsense.

"I went there on the day you opened. You drank too much and hugged you. I'm too lazy to talk to you."

Unable to fall asleep anyway, Ning Zhi and Bai Xu exchanged a few words on WeChat.They are undergraduate classmates, but their majors are far from guaranteed, and they met in fellow villagers.Bai Xu's family is rich, and he didn't look for a job after graduation. He tried his best to start a business, failed several times, and finally opened the swallow bar.Ning Zhi only thought that he was lonely late at night and was looking for someone to chat with, but after a few gossips, Bai Xu suddenly said, "Well, do you still remember Tan Guangsheng?"

I haven't heard anyone mention this name for four years, and Ning Zhi unknowingly slowed down her typing: "What's wrong?"

"I heard he's back home."

"Oh."

"I heard that he went to province G to find a job."

Province G has a developed economy and a thriving financial industry. With Tan Guangsheng's professional background, it's not surprising that he came here to find a job.

Bai Xu gasped for breath while chatting with text, and continued slowly: "I didn't go to Z City, I went to Lujiang."

Ning Zhi was taken aback. City Z is the capital of Province G, and it is also the place with the most opportunities. Although Lujiang is not bad, it is still slightly inferior overall.Tan Guangsheng is from the north, and he spent a lot of time looking for a job in the south. If he doesn't go to Z city, what is he doing in Lujiang?

There is something in Bai Xu's words, which is very meaningful: "You can do it yourself."

Ning Zhi was holding the phone, and some long past events flashed by before his eyes, and just thinking about it made him feel uncomfortable.He replied: "You misunderstood..."

Bai Xu moved to another campus in his junior year and fourth year, and many of the news were based on hearsay. Due to his status as a friend, it was difficult to ask Ning Zhi for confirmation.Ning Zhi wanted to explain, but the phone suddenly buzzed and vibrated, and a voice call came in.

The caller is Jiang Chan.

He was startled, gave up explaining, and clicked the answer button.

"Hello?" Ning Zhi was inexplicably guilty.

"What did you post?" Jiang Chan asked.

Somehow, the electric current made his voice more magnetic, Ning Zhi retreated into the bed, and whispered: "I made a mistake."

Jiang Chan didn't care, and told the driver, "Go ahead."

Ning Zhi heard the faint sound of an engine in the background and asked, "Where are you going?"

It's so late, could it be that he went to a bar for a good time, or just came back from a good time?

Jiang Chan said: "The group meeting is a bit far away from where I live."

"Oh."

There seemed to be a smile on the other end: "Don't worry, I haven't been unfaithful to you."

Ning Zhi grabbed the quilt, covered his face, and said in a low voice, "What does it have to do with me?"

"That's fine," Jiang Chan said in a relaxed tone, "I'll find someone to spend the night now."

"You!" The poor quilt was lifted again, and it was thrown aside fiercely, revealing a reddish face, "You are not afraid of AIDS!"

The attack is still going on: "You have to forget it, don't infect me!"

"So principled." Jiang Chan smiled again, "Then at the bar, why did you take the initiative to add me on WeChat?"

You seem like a good person, Ning Zhi thought in his heart, but said: "I'm blind."

In the boundless night, Jiang Chan looked at the street lights outside the window and said softly, "I haven't seen you for a few days, I still miss you."

There was no movement on the phone, not even the sound of breathing.

Ning Zhi moved the phone away a little bit. After using the electronic product for a long time, it became very hot and burned his ears red.He quickly calmed down and understood that what Jiang Chan missed was only his body: "Then I'll go there tomorrow?"

"No need, aren't you going to the Wonderful World to play this Saturday?"

Ning Zhi didn't react: "Then what's wrong?"

Jiang Chan tried his best to be cryptic: "The amusement facilities are quite hard, I'm afraid you won't be able to sit still."

Ning Zhi was really embarrassed this time, he twisted his whole body up and down, and said bravely: "I can't see that you are quite considerate."

"Well," Jiang Chan accepted the compliment reservedly, still with the same deep and gentle voice: "When you're tired from playing on Saturday night, it's easier to play around with."

"Damn it!" Ning Zhi cursed, unable to follow through, and stammered, "Jiang Chan, I found out that you are actually a beast in clothes."

"Ah."

"Gentle scum."

"Ah."

Ning Zhi was still organizing his words, when he suddenly heard a sharp braking sound on the phone, he was startled: "It's all right!"

On the wide road, a figure sprang out without knowing when, and ran towards Bentley fearlessly.Fortunately, the driver braked in time and no tragedy was caused.

"It's okay," Jiang Chan hastily comforted Ning Zhi, looking up, the man who was almost knocked into the air didn't panic, walked to the side of the car door with a playful smile, and slapped the glass vigorously: "Brother, take a ride chant?"

At this time the driver also recognized the person coming: "It's the second young master." He turned his head to ask Jiang Chan's opinion: "Let him come up?"

The window of the car was lowered, and a smell of alcohol rushed towards me. Standing outside was a young man with dyed blue hair, wearing ripped jeans, with a pile of metal hanging from his body, and he walked with clangs. He was in the group this afternoon. He also dressed like this for meetings.

"Jiang Luhong," Jiang Chan was kind and courteous to everyone in the company, but this one was really impatient, "Where's your car?"

"That stinky woman drove me down." Jiang Luhong is not very old, and his words are old-fashioned, mixed with vulgar words, "Damn, I don't know how many people have fucked me, and pretend to be a virgin like me, Isn’t it just money, I—”

Jiang Chan didn't have the time to listen to his nonsense, so he told the driver: "Let's go."

"Hey!" Jiang Luhong is a lunatic who usually likes extreme sports and seeks excitement all day long, otherwise he wouldn't be able to jump in the middle of the road to stop a car, so he grabbed the car door and yelled: "Brother! Jiang Chan!"

The disgust in Jiang Chan's eyes was not concealed.He only returned to China half a year ago. Jiang Luhong didn't study for a master's degree. He was assigned to a subsidiary of the Wanxing Group to manage a series of theme parks such as the World of Wonderful Colors after graduating from a bachelor's degree.He usually does not care about things, and several vice presidents are in charge. In the past two years, the revenue of the playground has been relatively stable, neither rising nor falling, and he has contributed a lot.After Jiang Chan took over the company, he was the first one who wanted to take care of him, but this guy suddenly played the family card, surrounded by "brothers in front of him, brothers in front of him", noisy and disgusting.

Thinking of the weak blood relationship, Jiang Chan asked the driver to stop again, staring at Jiang Luhong coldly: "You won't call someone to pick you up?"

"My mobile phone is in the car!" Jiang Luhong is actually not bad looking, but his taste is vulgar and his appearance is funny. He made a pitiful begging expression, "You can tell me something!"

Jiang Chan's heart was like a stone, and he said to the driver, "Uncle Chen, give him a Didi call."

Bentley left in the dust, and Jiang Luhong's angry roar was quickly blown away by the wind. Jiang Chan glanced at the phone, which was still on the phone, so he handed it to his ear and said "sorry".

"It's okay." Ning Zhi paused, "Family secret?"

Jiang Chan smiled, this is what he said when teasing Ning Zhi last time: "Well, do you want to hear it?"

"Forget it," Ning Zhi looked at the time, "Next time."

"Where's Auntie? Have you taken her to see it?"

Jiang Chan's concern was serious, and Ning Zhi was a little moved.To be honest, if he hadn't reminded me that day, Ning Zhi didn't know when he would think about depression.

"She refused to go to the hospital and insisted that she was fine." If she really wanted to fight, Ning Zhi would definitely not be able to hold back her mother. Thinking of this, her head grew dizzy, and she sighed helplessly.

Jiang Chan had already guessed that this would be the case, so he secretly contacted someone, and he told Ning Zhi: "I know a psychiatrist from the city hospital, so let him come to your house on weekends and say yes Your friend, how about getting in touch with Auntie to find out about the situation?"

This is a proper way, Ning Zhi agreed and thanked Jiang Chan.

Jiang Chan said, "It's a little effort."

Ning Zhi was not used to owe favors, and was afraid of being misunderstood by Jiang Chan, so he explained awkwardly: "I didn't send you the message for this."

Jiang Chan froze for a moment, then smiled: "I know. You missed me."

This person's face is too thick, how on earth did he say these words in a serious manner!Ning Zhi covered his eyes with the back of his hand, and the corners of his mouth twitched: "I'm going to bed, goodbye."