thoughtful

Life seems to be on the right track, and every day becomes busy.Lei Meng got up early in the morning to see Lei Meng off, went to work hard during the day, tried not to be late and leave early, and gradually adapted to the new role of director.Occasionally work overtime, more often to spend time with my family after get off work.Sending Lei Zhentian to the hospital for rehabilitation on weekends or accompanying Lei Meng to chase stars seems to have arranged everything properly.He also took the time to drive the little BMW home from the company, parked it in the parking garage of the community, and drove it regularly for maintenance.

Lei Meng was still so obsessed with Li Keran, she forced Lei Meng to watch a movie premiere, which was said to be Li Keran's first big screen debut.In it, he plays a male protagonist who loves madly. His lover has died long ago, and he does not give up and desperately searches for it.

When the main creator took the curtain call, Li Keran still had that gloomy look.Raymond thought to himself, knowing that you are not doing well, I am relieved.

After the premiere, Lei Meng excitedly rushed forward to ask for a group photo.Lei Meng watched from a distance, not knowing what she said to Li Keran, but Li Keran actually showed a smile, and posed various poses in coordination to take pictures.

Lei Meng took the signed poster and returned contentedly.Li Keran glanced in the direction she was leaving, and his eyes were firmly locked on Lei Meng.

Lei Meng put his hands in his pockets, and he couldn't pretend not to know him when he was seen. He just nodded casually as a greeting.Not knowing how much he knew about himself and Song Sifan, Lei Meng didn't want to be asked about it from Li Keran.

Li Keran took a deep look at him.This glance was like an abyss, but Lei Meng seemed to be standing on the top of a mountain, separated by thick fog, unable to see what it meant.Li Keran quickly turned to receive other fans, Lei Meng also gave up exploring, looked down at Lei Meng who was flushed with excitement: "So happy?"

"Yeah, I have struggled for a long time to become a core member of Li Keran's support club in City B, and I finally have the opportunity to get close to him!" Lei Meng smiled with crooked eyebrows. Since Lei Zhentian fell ill and was admitted to the hospital, it was the first time Lei Meng saw her like this. happy.

"You..." Lei Meng led her to the exit, and couldn't help asking, "You like him so much? What's so good about this kid?"

"Some people don't know what's good~ but it's just~no one can replace~" Lei Meng started to sing, ran to the front and spun in a circle, and stopped in front of Lei Meng, "Actually, I can't tell …Stars, aren’t they all like that, good-looking, good at acting, and singing. There’s no difference between liking one and liking that.”

"then you……"

"Since there is no difference, let's put it all on one person. It would be troublesome to change people." Lei Meng turned around and took a step, "Why should it be him? This is probably obsession."

Yes, this is obsession.

I probably also have an obsession with Song Sifan.There is no difference between continuing to wait and finding a new love.

All along, Raymond told himself all the truth.

He had too many reasons to give up.

Homosexuality has no future...Family definitely disagrees...the huge gap between each other...Song Sifan is an unreliable person...mother-in-law doesn't like him either...

Sometimes Raymond thought that if it was someone else, he must have convinced him long ago.

I understand the truth, but I just can't do it.He also foolishly ran to the United States and was ridiculed all over.

"Don't you think such obsession is bad?" Raymond asked.

"It's nothing bad," Lei Meng walked in front, and Lei Meng couldn't see her expression clearly, "I know brother, you see me as a star chaser and always think that I'm a big fool, for giving so much time and energy to an impossible person , people don't even know who I am."

"Not anymore..." Raymond touched his nose in embarrassment, was he discovered?

"But, don't you think that being able to like someone unscrupulously like this is a kind of happiness in itself? No matter how many stupid things I do for him, no matter how much you laugh at me in your heart, no matter what others think of me, I am very happy, It’s also very satisfying, no one can hurt me.”

Lei Meng turned around sharply, and looked at him with black eyes: "I think you just think too much. But in fact, you don't need to think so much. You have someone you can obsess over, who is stronger than most people in this world." It's so much better to be wandering in a daze looking for the other half."

Lei Meng was taken aback for a moment, thinking of Li Keran's eyes just now for no reason.Lei Meng waved the signed poster and walked away in a skip.

That night, Raymond suffered from insomnia.

He seldom suffers from insomnia. He sleeps as soon as he touches the bed, and he doesn't recognize the bed in a strange environment. He can sleep until dawn.But recently, he often wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes because of dreaming, sometimes because of bouts of heart palpitations.

Lei Meng got up from the bed, opened the curtains, and let the moonlight fill the bay window.Under the moonlight, he tried his best to search for the direction of Song Sifan's community.He thought of the New Year in the hospital, he and Song Sifan looked at each other on the balcony of the ward, separated by fire trees and silver flowers.

It's a pity that the neighborhood he lives in is more than half of City B away from Song Sifan's neighborhood, so it's impossible to see him.Under the dark night, only the full moon is like a disk, and the star curtain is low.

Raymond sat down on the bay window and spent the night by the window with his eyes open.The late spring and early summer nights were chilly, and by the time dawn dawned, his body was already icy cold.

He moved his body a bit, it was rare so early, and he was ready to get up to prepare breakfast for his family.He quietly opened the door, and when passing the living room, Lei Meng found Lei Zhentian lying on the sofa, suppressing his cough.

"Dad, why are you sleeping here?" Raymond walked to the sofa and tried to help him up, "Go back to the bedroom and sleep."

Lei Zhentian shook his head: "I can't sleep well at night, I keep coughing and turning over, which affects your mother. Anyway, I lie on the bed during the day, and I can sleep at any time when I am sleepy. Let your mother rest well at night, and I will sleep before she wakes up." Move back."

Raymond thought for a while and thought it made sense: "Then you lie down for a while, and I'll make breakfast."

Lei Zhentian struggled to sit up, Lei Meng hurriedly supported him, stuffed a pillow behind his back for him to lean on: "What's wrong, Dad?"

Lei Zhentian's lips moved, his eyes made up his mind: "Son, did I drag you down?"

Lei Meng almost thought that he had heard it wrong with such a light sentence.After being ill, Lei Zhentian seems to have more wrinkles, densely packed like a net, splitting Lei Zhentian's originally tough face into a haggard and aging appearance.

During the years when Lei Meng went out to study and work, every time he came home from vacation, he always felt that Lei Zhentian hadn't changed much, and even gave birth to the illusion that his parents would never grow old.

Why do you think so?Is it because every time they call, they will tell him that he is in good health and tell him not to worry?Is it because the house will be cleaned early and a table of good food will be prepared to welcome him every year and festival?Is it because he didn't let him know whether it was backache, sickness or hospitalization, for fear of affecting his work?

It wasn't until Lei Meng received a call that Lei Zhentian was critically ill and hospitalized that he realized how wrong he was.

He resigned without hesitation and made up his mind to return to City B and stay with his parents, but Lei Zhentian mistakenly thought that he was dragging him down and delaying his future.

Raymond's heart seemed to be stuffed with a ball of cotton, sucking up all kinds of emotions and filling his chest heavily.He stretched out his arms to hug the old man in front of him, and carefully placed his chin on his thin shoulders. The shoulders were no longer as thick as he remembered, and there were protruding bones under the skin.

He took a deep breath and said in a low voice: "You will always be family, don't think too much about it."

Lei Zhentian seemed to be holding his breath and waiting, he let out a breath when he heard his answer, raised his hand to pat him on the back, and said softly: "Since you don't think I'm an old man Drag, how can we make it difficult for you because of your choice?"

Lei Meng suddenly raised his head, and in a panic, he saw Lei Zhentian's eyes, the drooping eyelids couldn't hide the full tolerance and tenderness.

Father's love is like a mountain, how thick it is.

Lei Zhentian stretched out his hand and fondled his hair: "We will always be family."

Tears welled up and blurred his eyes. Lei Meng recalled the summer vacation when he was 14 years old. Lei Zhentian took him to the park for a boat trip. Halfway through the rowing, the boy was so tired that he fell asleep.The simple and honest man moved his broad back to shield him from the glare of the sun, allowing him to sleep peacefully in the gentle breeze and bright sun.

For more than 20 years, Lei Meng thought that he was strong enough, that he could earn a lot of money, support the old Lei family, and be strong enough to support the family when Lei Zhentian fell ill, but in the end, he found that he was still living under his father. behind.Even though my father is old, sick, no longer healthy, no longer strong, he still stands upright.

Raymond wiped away his tears fiercely, and gave a heavy "hmm".His ending sound is upturned, and he wants to laugh and then has a crying sound, like a boy who is tired of rowing and acting like a spoiled child to his father.

Lei Zhentian waited for him to calm down, then patted him on the shoulder: "If you have time, bring that person back and let us have a look, we believe in your choice."

Raymond choked for a moment, forced a smile, and didn't dare to show too much emotion, so he could only reply perfunctorily: "Okay, wait until later."

Lei Zhentian didn't ask any more questions, but patted him comfortingly: "Do what you want, don't worry about the family. I'm fine, and your mother and sister are here too. A good man has ambitions everywhere, and it's good to go abroad to see of……"

"Dad..." Lei Meng didn't know what to say, did Lei Zhentian already know the reason for going to America?But how did he know?In the chaos, he thought of Lei Meng's thoughtful glance before he left.

Sure enough, nothing can be hidden from this sister whose name has the same pronunciation.

And the consolation about obsession, Lei Meng wanted to tell him, don't worry about family obstruction, and bravely pursue your own happiness.

Presumably, she must have spent a lot of time trying to convince her parents. After all, Lei Zhentian and Li Yuping are old, and it is impossible for them to accept homosexuality easily.

After draining his emotions, the cotton in Lei Meng's heart warmly covered his internal organs, like a quilt, warming his body infected by the cold night.

We will always be family.

The heart that has been fluttering has finally settled down, no need to make choices, and no longer afraid of losing anything.

The author has something to say: Jiyou has always said that every time I write about Raymond’s family, I feel too watery, and I don’t think it is necessary to write so many words about the family.

But without the blessings of relatives, how can it be considered complete?

I always think that it can make two people happier.