independent filmmaker

Lan Sheng went out and got on a [-]-car, riding all the way to Liu Yao's house.On the way, he almost got into an accident several times.Once, because of a trance, I rode into a pothole, the handlebars tilted, and almost rolled under the truck speeding by.Another time, because he rushed to cross the small road and didn't see the cars on both sides, he was almost hit. Fortunately, he closed the door at the end and turned his bicycle across.Both drivers scolded "fuck your mother", but Xie Lansheng didn't care.

When they arrived at Liu Yao's house, the police were there.

Xie Lansheng said he was "Director Xie" and took out his ID card.After careful examination, the policeman handed him a letter, with a calm voice and concerned words, and said, "Condolences."

Xie Lansheng looked at the bed, and found that it was empty, except for a pool of bright red blood on the pink bed sheet, like a flower, which was in flowering period, big and colorful.

Xie Lansheng's eyes widened compulsively.

Such a gentle woman, a woman like water, is this her final destination?

why.

Why did all this happen to her.

Does God have no mercy?

Xie Lansheng opened the letter with trembling hands.

It says:

【Thank you,

Sorry, very very sorry, I still caused you trouble.Because I really, really can't hold on to the closing date until the 26th.I've asked my friends, and it won't affect my candidacy, and besides, the organizing committee in Berlin won't know about it.

I have never been happy in my life.My mother died when I was three, my father was reborn when I was four, and they had a younger brother soon after, and I became superfluous in the world.In the end, there were two relationships in total, but neither of them ended well.The then-boyfriend's "sister" accepted him three years later, and the later husband married only to appease his mother.It's all a scam.It's all a scam.I never had an intimate relationship.For more than half a year after the divorce, I was lonely and in pain. I couldn't sleep day and night... I couldn't sleep even after taking medicine.I deeply understand that I can't try anything anymore, but I can't bear the thought that this kind of life will last another three to forty years.I just can't stand it.I cannot be alone.How is life only half?How come life is only half!I know that there are people who don't need love and company, but I can't, I'm too weak.I want to end this life and start a new one.I know it's not worth it, but hopelessness is not a rational thing to do.

I always pay attention to my ex-husband and wife, and even hope that she will get sick early, it's too ugly, I don't like it.Walking on the road, sometimes when I see other people's mother and daughter concentric, seeing other people's husband and wife loving each other, I would think: Why is it always me?Why not someone else?Still, it's too ugly, I'm sick of it.In order not to degenerate myself, I should end it sooner.

Thank you, thank you very much.My talent is very limited, and I only play supporting roles in Renyi, but I also want to leave something behind, and I also want to have classic roles.So when I saw "Li Fangfang", I was hit right away.She is me, and I can play her.So, I selfishly joined the crew, and selfishly concealed everything.The only time in my life that I did such a selfish thing was to you, and my heart is deeply disturbed.I know that I will never be able to have a certain role surpassing "Li Fangfang", so it is good to stop here all my life.

The last warmth in my life is all brought by you, Director Xie.I am very happy, very happy.You always try to be nice to me—give me the best room, give me the best lunch box, praise me often, chat with me often, and you stood up when I was harassed regardless of danger. I remember all of these heart, and I will leave with it.

Thank you, don't feel bad.I have lived my life seriously, I have done my best, and I have no regrets.Buddhists often say that the cause and effect of the three lives may be better in my next life.I'm looking forward to it, really looking forward to it.

Also, please don't do anything for me.I don't want to bother you anymore, one "Consummation" is enough, I just hope you can forget about it.Don't publish these things, I hope to go quietly.The ex-husband and the others... also have difficulties, and I really don't want to continue.Promise me not to trouble him, okay?Thank you.

Director Xie, you are the person I am most grateful to and also the person I am most sorry for.

If only I could be as courageous as you all are.

Sincerely, regards,

Liu Yao,

September 1995, 2]

Xie Lansheng's hands trembled even more after reading it.

He knelt on the ground with a "boom", but he didn't feel any pain at all.He panted like a bellows, letting his tears rush wildly, muttering ""Why are you so stupid...how are you so stupid..."

The heart seemed to be punctured, and the blood flowed on the diaphragm between the chest and abdomen, and the internal organs along with it ached, and the pain continued endlessly.

The window was open, and the gust of wind hit him, blowing him heart-piercingly.

Only now did he finally understand Liu Yao's acting skills, the acting skills of burning his entire life to death.He has always been surprised and fortunate to meet this kind of actor, and thought it was a great luck, but now he knows that Liu Yao really doesn't care about himself, and he is not afraid of being hurt by tragedy both physically and psychologically.

Xie Lansheng remembered "The Thorn Bird" he had watched.

It wrote in the inscription:

[There is a legend about a bird that sings just once in its life, and that song is more beautiful than any other creature in the world.From the moment it left the nest, it searched for the thorn tree, and did not rest until it found what it wanted.Then, thrusting itself into the longest and sharpest thorn, it sang among the savage branches.And dying, it rises above its own pain, And with a song that should eclipse the lark and nightingale.This is a beautiful song, and the song ends and dies.Yet the whole world listens, and God smiles in the firmament, for the best things are bought with the deepest pain. 】

Liu Yao actually did the same.

Because of Liu Yao and Xin Ye, "Consummation" far exceeded his expectations.He himself also performed well under the leadership of the two, and even the supporting roles in "Consummation" were all impeccable.Xin Ye is a global actor, Liu Yao is not inferior, Xie Lansheng never dared to think before filming.

Thinking about it, Xie Lansheng suddenly understood why the roommate from the Xiaoxiang factory came to him the day before "Consummation" started (Chapter 47).At that time, his roommate advised him to change immediately instead of using Liu Yao. He guessed that it was Li Xian's intention, but he couldn't figure it out at all.

Now he understands.

Because she is suicidal.

Therefore, Li Xian didn't want her to perform, didn't want her to be famous, he wanted her to die quietly.If there is such a serious scandal as the "ex-wife" suicide, the state-run film studio is likely to fire him.In state-run factories, reputation comes first.

But Li Xian missed her again.

Even in his suicide note, Liu Yao instructed "no revenge", and also said that he had difficulties.

Scenes flashed quickly in Xie Lansheng's mind.

When she came to interview "Li Fangfang", when she gave everyone small gifts, when she helped others relieve embarrassment, when she helped Xiaohong finish work, when she played Li Fangfang desperately, when she plunged her head and face into the water, she knelt down When putting on the tiles, when she performed the last crying scene...in every scene, Liu Yao is very vivid.

Xie Lansheng suddenly remembered the dream he had just last night.

For the first time, he dreamed that Liu Yao was gone.In the dream, he drifted to a large quaint place, the water waves in the pond were crystal clear, and the lotus flowers bloomed just right on it.On the other side is a large field of blooming flowers, so beautiful, a delicate figure is standing there.He didn't know why, but he knew it was Liu Yao, so he called out: "Liu Yao!" She raised her eyes and saw him, but didn't speak.He asked again: "Are you okay?" The other party's smile was blurred, and he turned and left without answering.He was in a hurry, and while calling the other party's name, he plunged into the pool, trying to chase after him, but the other party walked further and further away, and finally entered the thicker and thicker fog.

…………

Xie Lansheng was in a daze, and he didn't know when he was pulled up by Yu Qianzi.

"Thank you, Director!" Yu Qianzi said, "Don't think too much about it."

Xie Lansheng just looked at each other and said, "...um."

"You..." Yu Qianzi scratched his head, "You still need to promote "Consummation"! The world will see Liu Yao! You must not be sad or depressed at this time!"

"...Well." Xie Lansheng also knew that the other party was worried about his body.

Because I was still crying.He wanted to talk to Xinye, but Xinye was still on the plane.

"Director Xie," said Yu Qianzi, who was completely ignorant of Liu Yao's ex-husband, in order to change the subject, "there will be a Chinese film at the Berlin Film Festival this time, you know? "The Wine House Girl" directed by Li Xian."

Xie Lansheng only smiled bitterly and said, "I know."

Yu Qianzi added: "I just heard from the Film Bureau that the official is bound to win this time. The Chinese official will create a big momentum in Berlin, there will be many activities, and there will be various recommendations. We have no advantage .”

"..." Xie Lansheng pursed his lips tightly.

The author has something to say:

Thank you so much...

There will be retribution for the scumbag, but it is only a role, and there will not be a lot of space. The main line is the career of Director Xie~

I hesitated between this ending and the young lady's journey to the top, but in the end I still didn't change it.

Just this tragic figure!The back is gone!Don't worry, don't abuse!