Cannon Fodder Scum Gong's Whitewashing Manual

After being ill last time, it took half a year to raise her good complexion, but this time it is completely gone.

Even if he didn't speak, Chu Yan could still feel his current emotions. He couldn't help but sighed, and said to Shen Muchuan: "Is it night now? If you're sleepy, go to sleep and don't stay with me."

Shen Muchuan got up slightly, raised the pillow for him, and said softly: "It's just getting dark."

"I just finished sleeping, and I'm not sleepy... What about you, you've slept all day, how do you feel now?"

Chu Yan's eyes fell on the direction he was speaking, and she blinked her eyes, seeming to be having a little difficulty speaking: "It's okay, I just feel a little tired..."

Shen Muchuan's heart is heavy, as if a drop of thick ink dripped into clear water and quickly faded away. In the past, he was afraid that he would be worried, and he just endured any discomfort... He said that now, but it was probably far more than that .

"If you're tired, sleep a little longer, and I'll call you later..."

Chu Yan shook her head: "I won't sleep anymore, I've been asleep for a long time, I just want to hear what you have to say."

Shen Muchuan kept looking at him without even blinking. Hearing what he said, he nodded and said, "Okay."

"Then... what do you want to hear?"

"It's all right, just... tell me what you want to do in the future..."

after……

Shen Muchuan didn't dare to think about these two words at all, and he couldn't even imagine what it would be like if he was left alone for the rest of his life.

Shen Muchuan didn't want his emotions to affect him, so he said in a relaxed tone: "I don't know...I'm very vulgar, I just want to earn more money while I'm young, otherwise when I get old, I can only let you follow me I drank the northwest wind."

"If you really ask me what I want to do, I don't know."

But after he finished speaking, he found that Chu Yan was looking at his direction firmly. Under the white light above his head, there seemed to be tiny watery lights floating in his eyes.

Seeing his sad expression, Shen Muchuan trembled in his heart, and said at a loss: "What's wrong? Is there something uncomfortable?"

Chu Yan was just silent, shaking his head slowly, hot water slid down from the corner of his eyes, and then he spoke in a difficult and unsteady voice: "I'm sorry..."

Shen Muchuan has never seen him cry, even if he lost his eyesight, even if he was suffering from illness, he has always accepted it calmly, never like this before.

"Why do you say I'm sorry?" Shen Muchuan hurriedly wiped his tears for him, and said helplessly and distressed: "Why do you always like to say sorry to me...don't say any more in the future, okay?"

Chu Yan closed her eyes, sighed softly and said, "Okay."

……

After his condition deteriorated completely, the hospital instead transferred Chu Yan to a general ward. Even though he had already prepared for all this, Shen Muchuan really felt a powerless panic when the footsteps of death approached.

And Chu Yan was just drowsy most of the time, sometimes Shen Muchuan was just talking to him, and he was still listening to it one second, and would fall asleep unconsciously the next second.

He also ate little, and had no appetite at all. Shen Muchuan knew that several times he had reluctantly ate just because he didn't want to worry about himself.

Seeing him lose weight day by day, spit out all the food he ate, seeing him fall asleep, not sure if he will wake up the next day.This kind of torture like cutting flesh with a blunt knife almost made Shen Muchuan unable to bear it, but every time he just held Chu Yan's hand, it seemed that he still had infinite courage.

In the middle of the night, Shen Muchuan suddenly had heart palpitations, and woke up from a hazy dream covered in cold sweat. He got up, looked at the sky outside, and found that it was still completely dark outside, and the hospital ward was quiet except for the breeze blowing There was a slight sound from the lawn at the entrance of the hospital.

At this moment, there was a sound of messy and hurried footsteps in the corridor at the door of the ward. Shen Muchuan seemed to have foreseen something, and stood there blankly for a while before rushing out of the room as if remembering something.

But before he entered Chu Yan's ward, he saw doctors and nurses rushing out of the bed. Shen Muchuan subconsciously followed, but was blocked by a group of nurses and doctors until he saw people being sent in. emergency room.

The nurse reached out to block him: "Sorry, family members, please wait outside."

Shen Muchuan stared at her blankly for a while, then nodded as if he understood her words: "Okay, then I'll wait for him outside..."

Seeing his pale face, the little nurse sighed a long time before turning around and following him into the emergency room.

The lights in the corridor were dazzling, and Shen Muchuan leaned against the cold wall of the emergency room.

The nerves relax, the consciousness becomes dull and viscous, and the heartbeat becomes very slow at this time. In this silent night, every beat can be heard clearly.

As if vaguely, he could also realize that something had quietly come to an end.

Finally, with a snap, the lights in the emergency room dimmed, and the sound could almost echo in the empty corridor.

The door was opened, the doctor came out and took off the mask, and said to Shen Muchuan who was standing there blankly: "The patient is still a little conscious, go talk to him for a while."

At this moment, Shen Muchuan realized that he had a strange and cold calmness. He nodded calmly, but because he hadn't opened his mouth for a long time, the first time he opened his mouth, he didn't make a sound. His throat rolled up and down, and then he nodded again. He spoke again and said, "Okay."

His entire consciousness was already very weak, and all the medical equipment and respirator on his body were taken off, but after Shen Muchuan came in, his eyelids moved, and it took a while to slowly open them.

"You came."

Shen Muchuan gave a soft "um", then sat down beside his bed, reached out and held his hand on the bed sheet.

"Don't be sad..." Chu Yan's fingers were slightly bent in the hand held by him, as if silently comforting him.

Shen Muchuan looked at him and nodded heavily: "Okay, I'm not sad..."

Chu Yan smiled, and then said: "In fact, in the past two years, I have lived very happily every day... Although I can't see it, I think it is the most sober and happiest two years I have lived in my life... ..."

"Me too, me too..." This sentence made Shen Muchuan burst into tears. He originally thought that he could hold back and let this person leave without any worries.

Chu Yan raised his hand with difficulty as if to touch his face, Shen Muchuan immediately held it, and then pressed it to his cheek.

Chu Yan gently wiped away his tears with the back of his hand, but the tears wiped away more and more, finally he sighed and said softly: "I want to see you again..."

Shen Muchuan nodded with difficulty: "Okay..." Then he took his hand and followed his browbones, eye sockets, nose bridge, and lips all the way down.

"That's great..." After Chu Yan finished speaking, she slowly closed her eyes.

At the same time, the electrocardiogram device flickered, and then drew a straight curve...

After the funeral, Shen Muchuan returned home. Ever since Chu Yan lost his sight, there was no unnecessary furniture left in the house. The whole living room was empty. Walking past, there seemed to be a cold echo.

He went to the kitchen alone to cook porridge. Shen Muchuan filled two bowls and sat at the dining table for a while. He turned around and went to the bedroom until the porridge became cold.

There were traces of Chu Yan's life everywhere, Shen Muchuan walked over, took off Chu Yan's coat from the hanger at the door, and hung it in the closet.

But as soon as the clothes were shaken open, a letter fell out of it. Shen Muchuan's heart trembled, and he was stunned for a long while when he picked it up, but he still didn't dare to open it.

Finally, he closed his eyes and opened them again, and slowly opened the letter.

The handwriting is so clear that it doesn't look like it was written by a blind person, and the spacing between each word is very neat...

"Mu Chuan, I hesitated for a long time, not sure if I should tell you these things, but after thinking about it, I still want you to see it.

To put it bluntly, I was too selfish to let you face all this alone again.

As early as two years ago, I knew that I might not be able to accompany you for the rest of my life... I have thought about it countless times, what would you do if you were alone after I left, but I couldn't figure it out after much deliberation.But I originally thought that if I could go through the first year with you, then there would be the second year, the third year, and maybe even ten or twenty years.

Even greedy, I want to participate in the rest of your life every year, but I didn't expect this day to come so soon.

I have a lot to say, and I want to keep it for you who are 30 years old, 40 years old, 50 years old, 60 years old, 70 years old... I don’t know if you still want to read it...

What I was most afraid of was whether you would really forget me if I left.But later, I sincerely hope that you can forget me, and that you can live happily in the days when I am not around. "

After reading the letter, Shen Muchuan suddenly rushed over and opened the desk drawer and the cabinet in the bedroom, and finally found a cardboard box under the bookshelf.

There are nearly a hundred letters in it, from 30 to [-] years old, every year on my birthday, every year during the Spring Festival, there is a letter...

Shen Muchuan picked up the 30-year-old envelope from the box, and with a bang, tears fell on the envelope, and the water droplets quickly blurred the black carbon ink.

Without you for the rest of my life, how can you let me go on alone.

Why are you so cruel, you know that I can't do it at all...

The author has something to say: This world is finally over.

This bento is really soulless, forgive me, top the pot cover TAT

Thanks to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated the nutrient solution~

Thanks to the little angels who voted for [Landmine]: Se-xi, sunshine, classmate Xiaohei, Aluo, player Jiang Cheng, Yulouxue, Quewu, Qianyu 1;

Thanks to the little angel who irrigated [nutrient solution]:

顾落10瓶；年5瓶；鸢4瓶；azure、jin瑾2瓶；墨墨、生生不息、黎风姿1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!