Wacky Wednesday

···Jack···

Laura Elms wears an ant-shaped lip ring.There are three parts on the ant's body, which are made of stones of three different colors.

"Holy shit!" I said.

"What's wrong?" Ms. Elms paused, looking down at herself, as if concerned that she'd spilled something on her shirt.

"I love your lip ring so much."

She looked up and smiled. "Thanks for the compliment. I just finished it, so I can only wear it now. But if you are not allowed to wear it at work, I can take it off."

"Don't pick it, don't pick it." I begged. "How beautiful it is."

When I was in school looking for a job, Amon told me not to wear my brow piercing.I don't even think about it being in college, where piercing tattoos abound.Laura Elms came to the interview wearing a lip ring, so super cool, I want to blow my lights out for her too.

She laughed. "Okay, then I won't take it off." She seemed to be forced to wear such an outfit: a lavender shirt--the color is beautiful, but the style is too mamma--with taupe pants.She put on smoky makeup, as if she hadn't changed the habit of carrying her trouser pockets, and kept her hands on her hips.

Amon wrote the questions to ask on Ms. Elms' file.But the handwriting was so illegible that it was comparable to the doctor's handwriting, so I decided to improvise as if it didn't exist.I asked Ms. Elms why she wanted to come to A&L and how her previous work experience would help the company.She's funny and chatty, and has a lot of work experience: she spent a year in Tanzania doing things like reassessment of outsourced materials versus outsourced material assessments.Finally, I asked her, comparing herself with animals, what does she think she is?

She replied that it was a koala.I really appreciate.

Many people don't know it, but koalas are very ferocious animals.

Ms. Elms asked me a few questions about job responsibilities, salary, and benefits.

"You can ask my assistant, Mr. Gravind, for details of your job responsibilities. He knows a lot, and I also want to develop his ability to explain--explain the inner workings of A&L, after all, if I get promoted someday .This position may be his. I want him to exercise in place."

"Okay. What about the salary?"

I thought about Amon's annual salary.I wondered if the Director of Recruitment might have a lower status than the Director of Personnel than Mon.But exactly how much less than Mon is paid as a recruiting director?It shouldn't be too far behind, anyway, he is also the recruitment director.Five thousand short?ten thousand short?I finally decided to cut seven thousand from Amon's salary, and told her the figure.

She opened her eyes wide. "real or fake?"

"How much difference is this number... from the salary of your last job?" I asked.

"Almost doubled," she said.

God.I could have written a bad check that A&L couldn't pay.

"This is only an approximate number." I reminded. "I said it right off the top of my head, and I'm not sure if I'm right. You ask Mr. Way--Gravind."

"What about benefits?"

"Parking for employees only." It's true.I had a blast this morning parking the White Lightning in Amon's VIP parking space—closer to the office thieves. "Christmas bonus. And staff bowling."

"There should be medical insurance, right?"

"Ah, yes, of course." I knocked on the table with my hand. "I'll take you to Wes now, and he'll give you the details of the job. I'm going to make a phone call. Nice to meet you, Ms. Elms."

"Me too, Mr. Monterey. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to interview."

"You don't have to be so polite," I said. "Just call me Amon." I shook hands with her, gave her an Amon-style smile, and then took him to Wes's tiny office. "Hey, Wes, can you explain to Ms. Elms what a recruiting director does? I have something very important and urgent. Things. Career."

"Uh..." Wes said.

"Thanks buddy." I also gave him a smile and rushed back to the office.

I sat on the table and took out Amon's cell phone.He sent me another text message.I didn't reply to the text message he asked if I was in A&L.It read: Call Melissa Kramer at extension 2854.Tell her you are sick and going home.I will reschedule any plans that were delayed today.

Thank you for your kindness, the aggressive general attack is great, but I don't need it.I'm sorry you have to accept that I'm a duck to water in your post.

For a moment, I really wanted to send this to him as a text message, but after thinking about it, I decided to forget it.

I opened Wittmeyer's file and looked at the notes Amon had written next to Bernard Silvameyer's first introduction, the Institute for Financial Research and Development.I couldn't quite read his handwriting, but I saw a lot of exclamation marks.Amon never used an exclamation point.Occasionally I text him like this:

Sub Mammoth I love you! ! ! ! !You si made the whole world roar! ! ! ! ! ! !

And he will answer me like this:

Jack, I love you too.I look forward to seeing you tonight.

Or, when I'm crazy: Need to be penetrated by your big pornstar dick! ! ! ! !

In this case he might reply: Eugen and I are both in a meeting, but can come and plug you anytime after five.Sometimes it may also be: Did you forget to buy cat food?

As far as I know, he's never in his life said things like "wow!"

That's probably why I love him.It's just that mature.

The word "voice" was written in front of the names of the remaining two introducers.Wes said he left voicemail messages for both.

I called the second referral, and a cheerful girl answered the phone and told me that Wittmeyer was a satisfactory employee, a hard worker and a good problem solver.

What is this, a comment from Wittmeyer's class teacher in the fourth grade?

"Has he ever had a bad time with other employees?" I asked.

"Not once. He has a good relationship with everyone." He actively lent crayons to other children.Had a great time with them.

"Did he do anything that made you or someone else feel... a little..." to hit him? "Think he's a bit boastful?"

The woman paused. "No."

I lean back in the chair. "Please tell me what are his shortcomings?"

"Wittmeyer is a satisfactory employee," she repeated.

I thanked her and hung up, wondering if it was easier to murder Wittmeyer and pretend it was an accident than to pry negative comments about him from someone else.

Be firm.Wes doesn't like him either.Carol didn't like it either.Arnold didn't like it either.I don't know who these people are, but you know more about this matter than Mon.

To be on the safe side, I called the third introducer.Director of Personnel Kelsey Gunn was away, so I was speaking to Ms. Gunn's shy young assistant. "Mr. Bernard Wittmeyer, who has been working with you for two years, filled in the document here. I'm here to ask the introducer's opinion."

"I see," she said. "Ms. Gunn, uh, she's been in meetings this morning - if I remember correctly - but I, uh, I'll pass it on."

I wonder how long this poor girl can hold this position.

"You just took office?" I asked.

"Yes." She laughed a few times. "Did you hear it?"

"Change out the 'uh'," I said. "My boyfriend asked me to change all 'uh's to pauses—supposedly, for dramatic effect."

She laughed again. "Okay, I'll give it a try. So you, uh..." She paused. "What's your name?"

"Amon Monterey. Director of Human Resources at A&L Financial Corporation."

"Okay, Mr. Monterey. I'll tell Ms. Gunn you called."

"Grateful."

I hang up the phone and lie back to the limit of the ergonomic chair.It's a really nice chair, and the wheels glide smoothly on the floor.My eyes fell on the filing cabinet in the corner of the room. The files of all A&L employees are locked there.Amon, who is in charge of the key, must feel that he is particularly powerful, right?

Where are those keys?

I want to see what's in the filing cabinet.just looking.

Let's do business first. SW2 workshop.I had to learn to master gender-neutral language first.The sooner the better.

I click on My Computer and type SW2 in the search box.There is a folder called "SW2 Notes".That's it.I opened the folder, took out my pen and notebook, and read.

I learned that SW2 is short for Safer Workplace, Safer World①.This is a pilot program in businesses across the country to educate and prevent sexual harassment and discrimination based on age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.I tried to read it all, but the whole text was dry and I couldn't read it.It was even more boring than Professor Mengzhi's geology lectures.

Note ①: The original text is written as SaferWorkplace, SaferWorld.

Harassment is defined as any offensive behavior that causes the other party to feel contemptuous, unpleasant, or unsafe.It is not limited to sexual misconduct, but also refers to any demeaning of another's background, race, religion, age, social class, gender, and sexual affiliation.

Sexual attribution?Could it be that I have to fill out a membership application to be gay?Let me take it as a high-end version of "good mouth".

Harassment in the workplace is often overlooked.Comments that we find humorous and innocuous are effectively brought under the umbrella of harassment.

In my notes, I drew a picture of an umbrella hooking another umbrella with its handle.The former has a wretched and hungry expression on it, while the latter has wide-open eyes with anxious eyes and a wavy mouth.I drew a bubble on the side of the first umbrella that said: I want to open your body and put my head under you.

I wrote above the picture: Umbrella of Harassment.

Depend on.I was originally here to "learn about safer workplaces and a safer world".My attention returned to the computer screen.

Even something as small as a hug can be harassment.Let's take a look at the next scenario...

"Oh, let's stop watching," I said aloud.

I quickly scrolled through the rest of the document.

During the training seminar, the suggested things to do are the following: Watch the official SW2 film.Ask for discussion topics.role play.

I sighed and put my head on the table.This seminar will be the most boring thing in the world.It was even more boring when Biamon let me watch "House of Umbria."

Note ②: My House In Umbria, a 2003 literary film.

I sat up abruptly.

Because I had a brilliant idea to spice things up.

I opened my browser and started searching for videos.