Drunk in exchange for sleep under the moon

In two days it will be the school celebration, and the school has become lively, but this excitement has nothing to do with Xie Yan, when others are spinning around, he is wearing a white coat and a mask, and the old god is always in the ward of Ye Zhonghan as an intern doctor.

It's only been a few days since he visited him secretly last time, but Ye Zhonghan didn't seem to remember him, and he didn't look at him from the beginning to the end.Xie Yan thought that this was good, he wasn't so nervous, and he felt relieved a little, when Ye Zhonghan called Zhao Wumian.

"Little Doctor Zhao?"

Zhao Wumian paused while looking through the medical records, lowered his body, and asked him, "What's wrong?"

As soon as Xie Yan saw the glint in Ye Zhonghan's eyes, his heart skipped a beat.It is definitely not a good thing for the teacher to show such a thoughtful look.His scalp was slightly numb, and he forcibly calmed down and listened.

"The weather is so good today. Is Dr. Zhao free to push me out for a walk?"

Zhao Wumian was a little embarrassed, he would continue to make ward rounds later, it was the nurses' job to accompany patients for walks on weekdays, but he was worried about letting Xie Yan stay alone with Ye Zhonghan.

Seeing his silence, Ye Zhonghan sighed and said, "Look at me, I'm so confused. Dr. Zhao still needs to make ward rounds..."

Zhao Wumian glanced at Xie Yan, saw Xie Yan nodded, and then said: "Sorry, I still have a few patients, let Xiao... Shi accompany you?"

"Is the little doctor's surname Shi?" Ye Zhonghan looked at Xie Yan, Xie Yan gave a vague "Yes", put down the medical record book, looked around the ward, and pushed the wheelchair over.

Xie Yan and Zhao Wumian helped Ye Zhonghan out of the hospital bed and onto the wheelchair.He brought a small blanket and covered Ye Zhonghan's lap.He didn't dare to look at Ye Zhonghan, and when he heard Ye Zhonghan say "thank you", he had to spend a lot of effort to suppress the soreness in his heart, and said "you're welcome" in his usual tone, as unfamiliar as a stranger.

On a rare sunny day in winter, the sun shines on the body, which is warm and makes people relax physically and mentally.Xie Yan didn't dare to relax, he pushed Ye Zhonghan carefully, and walked very slowly in the small garden.

Older people probably have some problems with their legs and feet, and they can't touch them. Xie Yan paid attention to avoiding the uneven ground. When Ye Zhonghan asked him how old he was this year, his reaction was two beats slow before pressing down. He answered in a low voice, "29."

"Married?"

Caught off guard by such a question, Xie Yan was stunned for a moment, he swallowed nervously: "Not yet..."

Xie Yan didn't want to understand why Ye Zhonghan suddenly asked such a question, his nerves were a little tense, and he realized that Ye Zhonghan couldn't see his face, let alone his expression, so he calmed down a little.

Xie Yan also couldn't see Ye Zhonghan's expression, he could only hear a bit of emotion from his tone: "I have a student who is about the same age as you."

A student who was about the same age as him... Xie Yan shook his hands uncontrollably, and heard Ye Zhonghan say: "That student of mine is very good-looking and knowledgeable..."

"Old... old man." Xie Yan laughed twice and interrupted him, "I have a lover." Although I don't know when Ye Zhonghan has another student who is about the same age as him, I can't understand why Ye Zhonghan suddenly He clicked on the mandarin duck book, but the words were all for this sake, how could he fail to hear Ye Zhonghan's subtext.

"That's it." Ye Zhonghan seemed a little pity, and sighed lightly, "Little Doctor Zhao..."

Xie Yan quickly said: "Doctor Zhao is not single either."

"What are you in a hurry for?" Ye Zhonghan turned his head to look at him, and couldn't help laughing, "Little Doctor Zhao also has a boyfriend." He completed the rest of the sentence, his dark eyes flickering, "I was originally I wanted to match him with Dr. Zhao, but I heard that Dr. Zhao has a boyfriend. What a pity."

The story of Zhao Wumian and him has long been spread in the cardiothoracic surgery department, and it is not unusual for Ye Zhonghan to hear gossip.Xie Yan took a breath, then let it out slowly, his expression had already betrayed him, and fortunately he was wearing a mask so that he could continue to hold on.

Ye Zhonghan turned his head and said to himself, "You have a good relationship with Dr. Zhao." He shook his head, closed his eyes and turned his face towards the sun, "I have taught quite a few students. , there are quite a few proud students, but he is the only student I like the most."

"However..." Ye Zhonghan paused, his voice lowered a lot, "He doesn't follow the right path."

The same age, favorite student, not on the right path... Xie Yan suddenly realized something, his mind went blank, and he even felt his heart stopped for a moment, and then there was a violent crash: "Why... …Why do you say that."

"Doctor Xiaoshi." Ye Zhonghan didn't answer, but asked him instead, "Do you think it's worth ruining your future for the sake of a momentary love for your children?"

Xie Yan said with some difficulty: "It's worth it, and it's not worth it."

"What's the value?"

Xie Yan's voice was low and hoarse, with a dull nasal voice: "Life and death are inseparable."

"Why not worth it?"

"Thousands of mountains and birds fly away, and old people forget each other."

"A person's life will not always go smoothly." Ye Zhonghan lowered his eyes, staring at the weeds at his feet, "I didn't teach him this truth well."

A person who goes too smoothly will not only be hated by others, but also be looked down upon by God.

But Xie Yan back then was too young, didn't know the heights of the sky and the depths of the earth, and his wings were not yet full, so he stood on the opposite side of everyone and bet everything bravely.Ji Baiyan is more sensible than him, or he cares more about the future than him, two people's way, but only one person insists on it, how long can it last?

Xie Yan understood the truth. Hearing what Ye Zhonghan said, he felt a little sour in his heart. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask Ye Zhonghan if he recognized him, and then closed it firmly without making a sound.

"It's not worth it. Blame me..." Ye Zhonghan clenched his hand on the armrest of the wheelchair into a fist, trembling uncontrollably, "Back then, if I hadn't handed over the person to him, maybe there wouldn't have been so many troubles. It's ridiculous."

"old……"

"Doctor Xiaoshi." Ye Zhonghan interrupted him abruptly, with a low tone, "If it was you, you would give up the school for the person you like and directly recommend admission to doctoral students, come out with your family, and break with the teacher, but you will be cruelly betrayed by that person. After all these years, will you forgive him?"

"No." After swallowing the word "teacher", Xie Yan said in a hoarse voice, almost sighing, "I won't forgive you."

Ye Zhonghan closed his eyes, his whole body suddenly relaxed, and leaned back on the wheelchair: "How should I put it, I hope that he hates that person, and I also hope that he will let go of the past. The past cannot be refuted, and the coming is still the same." It can be chased, but I probably won’t have the chance to tell him these words.”

"He will understand." Xie Yan's hand on the wheelchair slowly tightened and then slowly released, "You have taught him for so many years, he will understand."

"It's that person who doesn't forgive, and it's the year that let go. This is not a conflict."

He let go of the past, but it doesn't mean he forgave Ji Baiyan.He has never been an open-minded person, and there are only four words to write it off, but what he lost is almost everything he has, so why should Ji Baiyan rely on it.

Why let him forgive.

"Everything yesterday is like death yesterday, and everything today is like being born today." Xie Yan worked hard, maintaining the posture and tone of a bystander, only slowly tightening his hands, revealing his emotions, far less calm than it sounds.

Ye Zhonghan's calm eyes showed a hint of complexity, and he suppressed it again in the blink of an eye: "That's good."

……

Sending Ye Zhonghan back to the ward, Xie Yan smoked a cigarette on the small balcony at the end of the hospital corridor, thinking about something, smelling of cigarettes on his body, when he returned to Zhao Wumian's office and saw a patient, he also It's not easy to go in, so I simply sat on the chair at the door and waited.

The patient didn't know when he left. When Xie Yan came back to his senses, Zhao Wumian pushed his shoulder helplessly and asked him, "Why are you sitting here? How long have you been sitting here?"

Probably his expression couldn't hide anything, Zhao Wumian stared at him for a few seconds, the hand on his shoulder lowered a little, and turned into a gesture of supporting his shoulder: "What's wrong?"

Looking at each other quietly, Xie Yan was defeated first. He tilted his head back and leaned against the cold wall: "Teacher, he recognized me."

Recognize him, but not recognize him.

If the "teacher" who came to his lips but was interrupted shouted out, I'm afraid it would only end embarrassingly...

Zhao Wumian was a little surprised, Xie Yan smiled wryly, and said: "He first asked about my age, I thought he was just chatting with me, and when I heard that he had a student who was the same age as me, I thought it was a student he accepted later. , Now that I think about it seriously, he started digging holes for me from the very first sentence..."

Starting from the question of age, the ambush sentence by sentence made him misunderstand, and led him to continue... He also said that Zhao Wumian had a boyfriend. Thinking about it, the student Ye Zhonghan said was Xie Yan, and then Ye Zhonghan said How to determine the sexual orientation of his "Doctor Xiaoshi"?Obviously the topic trend was very strange and full of loopholes, but at that time, his mind was all muddled, how could he expect so much.

Zhao Wumian was silent for a while, squatted down in front of him, and held his hand: "What else did Teacher Ye say?"

"He said... that student of his is excellent in appearance and knowledge... It's a pity that he didn't take the right path." Xie Yan paused before continuing, "He also said that if he hadn't taught me to teach , maybe there won’t be so many troubles.”

"He seemed to be chatting with an irrelevant person, talking about what happened back then, and asking me——if it was me, after many years, would I forgive that person."

"Wumian..." Xie Yan grabbed his hand, which hurt a little, but he didn't realize it.

Some protruding knuckles and blue veins due to too much force, slightly red eyes, and tightly wrinkled brows fell into Zhao Wumian's eyes, which made Zhao Wumian a little distressed.

"Teacher, he knows that Ji Baiyan is back."

"He's worried that I won't be able to let go, afraid that I'll repeat the same mistakes, he..." Xie Yan took a deep breath, his voice trembling uncontrollably, "He still recognizes me, doesn't he?"

Ye Zhonghan is very smart, Xie Yan is not stupid, teachers and students for many years, many things need not be said clearly, Xie Yan can understand his meaning.

Zhao Wumian patted the back of his hand: "If he didn't recognize you, he wouldn't use the description 'my student'."

Although what Zhao Wumian said made sense, Xie Yan also knew clearly that when Ye Zhonghan recognized him as a student, he only recognized him, not recognized him.At least, as far as his sexual orientation is concerned, Ye Zhonghan still does not accept it.

Probably seeing that he was still in a bad mood, Zhao Wumian glanced at the aisle and reached out to hug him.

"If I had known that Teacher Ye would talk about you, I would have accompanied him for a walk."