yesterday's wine

fellow short.

He took Vasily all the way to the gate of the tea wholesale market, asked him carefully about his taste and quantity, and asked him to wait there.After a while, Cheng Zhen came back with several packs of tea leaves and an official invoice.

"how much is it?"

Cheng Zhen pointed to the amount on the invoice, the price of each tea was only a fraction of that store.

Vasily opened a bag and smelled it, and looked at him in disbelief: "Why are the teas you bought so cheap? Every time I buy the same tea, it costs thousands of dollars."

Cheng Zhen just stretched out his hand: "Reimbursement."

Vasili took out his wallet, and the RMB as thick as a brick dazzled his eyes. Cheng Zhen took the money and quickly closed his wallet.

Really stupid people with a lot of money.he thinks.

Cheng Zhen thought of that profiteer again, felt aggrieved, and wanted to restore the image of the Chinese, so he gritted his teeth and said, "I'll treat you to dinner."

Vasily did not refuse, and followed him to a western restaurant—Cheng Zhen took him for granted that he was more used to western food, so he took him to a restaurant he had heard of.But he didn't expect that the simplest meal here would eat up his living expenses for a week. Cheng Zhen squeezed the menu and broke out in a cold sweat.

Vasily didn't even look at the menu, and pulled the waiter to order steak and salmon roe for a table. After Cheng Zhen finished translating, he almost fainted on the chair.

It was the most extravagant meal he had ever eaten in his life, but he didn't remember the taste of a dish, barely filled his stomach, and paid the bill with trembling legs. The figures on the bill really made his eyes darken.

He blushed: "Can I... deposit my ID card here first, and come back tomorrow..."

The waitress in the Bragi immediately widened her eyes and was about to call the manager.

Vasily patted the table suddenly, holding a stack of pink RMB: "No need to look for it."

Cheng Zhenru was pardoned and quickly translated, but he didn't convey what he wanted. Instead, he told the waiter "to charge as much as he should," and gave Vasily the change he got back, and showed him the handwritten bill.

In the afternoon, Cheng Zhen went to buy other souvenirs with him, and also asked him to choose first, and then went to another store to buy them back.

Vasily was very new to this way of buying, and stood obediently at the door. He had no doubts about Cheng Zhen, and paid exactly what he paid every time. He walked around until it was dark, and invited Cheng Zhen to dinner again.

Cheng Zhen had a shadow on eating, and refused again and again: "I have nothing to do and I'm going to get off work."

"Well, thank you today." Vasily took out his huge wallet again.

Cheng Zhen thought about it, called a taxi, and took him back to the hotel before he felt relieved and began to settle the translation fee.

Vasili's expression was no longer as silly as it was during the day, he stretched out his hand and held Cheng Zhen:

"Every time I come to China, the translators are not the same person, but they are all the same. I feel that I have a lot of money to waste. I am a businessman, of course I know what they are doing, but I can't help it, Cheng Zhen, you and them no the same."

Cheng Zhen didn't expect him to be waiting for him here, blushed and said a few polite words.

Vasily took out another wad of money and gave him more than double the negotiated fee: "I wanted you to accompany me to discuss business, but your Russian is too poor to be competent. Here is the money for you Go buy textbooks, learn better, and I will come to you as a translator."

Cheng Zhen's face was completely red, and he was sweating hotly. He thanked him and fled out of the hotel.

Until he saw Xia Yu, his face still had a fever.

Xia Yu was about to leave the hospital, so he led him to an empty duty room, and touched his face: "What's wrong with you? Fever?"

"Don't mention it, it's embarrassing."

Cheng Zhen told him the whole day's experience, and Xia Yu rarely laughed.

"By the way, here you are." Cheng Zhen took off his backpack, took out the money from the interlayer of the inner pocket, and stuffed it into the pocket of Xia Yu's white coat.

Xia Yu laughed again: "Before I became a doctor, someone gave me a red envelope?"

"Salary, don't you have to hand it in..." Cheng Zhen muttered, his whole body started to feel hot again, thinking desperately, he really should take some antipyretics.

Xia Yu didn't refuse any more.

Cheng Zhen suddenly had a bold idea, and pressed the money pocket: "We can rent a house!"

"Rent?"

"We can negotiate with the landlord to settle the rent month by month. The money is just enough to pay for a month. I still have a little scholarship, plus yours. It is enough to pay a deposit to buy furniture... I will be able to pick up some more in a few days Translator, you can get by with hard work..."

"Cheng Zhen."

"What's the matter? Don't kiss me here! Are you afraid of being discovered? Alyosha..."

------

25 Utopia

Cheng Zhen moved out of the dormitory.

Everyone knew that he was a local, and even the counselor didn't care. Only the roommate who borrowed the car saw the clue and patted his waist meaningfully: "Brother, take care of yourself."

Although they yearn for spacious and bright commercial housing, they cannot afford it, so they can only rent a one-bedroom apartment in the family area of ​​the nearby university.Many campus couples rented houses there, and a small second-hand market formed nearby. Xia Yu took a leave of absence and spent a day shopping for furniture with Cheng Zhen.

The room was filled up bit by bit, with second-hand beds, simple desks and wardrobes, and they even bought a set of induction cooker and cooking utensils.After everything was tidied up, they couldn't help touching each other, making love in this space that temporarily belonged to them, not letting go of any corner.

At the beginning, Xia Yu occasionally went back to school to make a show, but once he tasted some things, he could never forget the taste of them. Not long after, he also moved out of the dormitory.

Outside of class, Cheng Zhen always stayed in their hut, except studying the materials to prepare for the exam, as he said, he took on translation work to make money.The price of those part-time jobs is very low, only a few dozen yuan per thousand words, and some are not even as expensive as English translation. The teacher dismisses it, and the students are unwilling to waste time for this little money. This little "home", he is willing to do anything.

Sometimes Xia Yu came back very late, and occasionally had to work the night shift. At this time, Cheng Zhen also stayed up late.

Before they moved in together, they seldom had the opportunity to spend the night in a bed. When they finally got a bed of their own, they realized that the most important thing is not rolling in bed.

The same quilt wraps two young bodies, each breath is full of each other's breath, the sound of turning over, and the touch of skin, all of which dissolve the years of loneliness. Sleeping alone has gradually become unbearable.

Cheng Zhen fell in love with sleeping naked, and Xia Yu always put his hands on him to make sure he was by his side all the time.Sometimes when they wake up in the morning, they will find that they hold hands with each other and have not separated all night.

It is not enough to connect the body together, Cheng Zhen hugged Xia Yu more than once, and said nonsense in a daze:

"When will you have an operation? Sew us together, we will be together wherever we go, no one can tear us apart..."

Xia Yu didn't speak, but worked hard until he could no longer utter a whole sentence.

In retrospect, that hut is like a lonely boat on the river of time, isolated from the world, but also like a utopia, a dream, pure as crystal, and fragile.

The people in the dream are too addicted and ignore the reality.Even in the Spring Festival, they couldn't spend a few days with their families, and returned to the hut impatiently to relieve the thirst of longing.

They were all dazzled by love, oblivious to their family's doubts.

Snow was falling outside the window, the glass was covered with a layer of dreamlike mist, and the room was full of human fireworks.

Having spent time with their families, Cheng Zhen and Xia Yu had a year that belonged to both of them.It was rare to cook together, and Cheng Zhen was pleasantly surprised to find that Xia Yu's craftsmanship is also good, and his knife skills are as fine as those of restaurant masters.

A few cut dishes are stacked on the plate, and they are ready to wait for the dumplings to be wrapped before cooking.Cheng Zhen didn't know how to roll the skin, but only wrapped it. He pushed all the technical work to Xia Yu, and he watched from the sidelines.He remembered that many years ago, in Xia Yu's old house, other people were busy making dumplings, and they were chewing lonely in the room. He still can't forget the feeling.

"I remember when I was a child." He hugged Xia Yu.

"Me too."

"I just feel... I can't say it." Cheng Zhen tried hard to find the words, but he didn't know how to describe it, so he kept rubbing on his back.

After grinding, I came up with something else.

"Then let's not talk about it."

Xia Yu turned around and hugged him back with his flour-stained hands, his lips touched together and could not be separated again.

They kissed from the kitchen to the bedroom, the clothes were covered with white fingerprints, and the dry skin was scratched on the skin, scratching rough stings, but no one cares about it, the imperfect details will only arouse more desire.

The snow is getting bigger and bigger, and the weather forecast says that the temperature will drop sharply the next day, and the enthusiasm in the house has already boiled.

They don't want tomorrow, they just want to drown in the present.

The cold wave is coming as promised, and spring will not come.

Cheng Zhen seldom goes home on weekends, and even during the winter vacation, Chang Qing gradually felt abnormal. After thinking for a long time, she finally came to her senses:

"Have you got a girlfriend yet?"

If Cheng Zhen can say "yes" frankly, Chang Qing will not pursue it too much, but will only remind him not to make mistakes and be responsible to others.But at that time, he was too naive, he didn't even know how to tell lies, and he didn't know how to evade the important ones.

Chang Qing didn't reveal it face to face, and called the school the next day. The counselor said, "Isn't Cheng really a day student?", and she confirmed everything.

I don't know what kind of person that girl is. It's hard for a mother not to worry, but she is also very busy with work, so it is impossible to verify it in person.The child is getting older, and some things cannot be said too directly, so she can only worry secretly.

Xia Siwei's side was much simpler. He had already learned from the students that Xia Yu had moved out of the school. He told the students that Xia Yu was living at home, and he would find an opportunity to ask about it in private.When Xia Yu came home, he pretended to casually mention that the daughter of the director of digestive surgery had just been admitted to a medical university, so let him get to know her and take care of her.

If it was normal, Xia Yu would definitely follow his wishes and seriously agree, but that day he responded very simply, just saying "OK", without even asking the girl's name.

Xia Siwei noticed something unusual immediately.

Facing their parents' doubts, Cheng Zhen and Xia Yu both chose to remain silent, so as not to worry each other.

If they had chosen to be honest and discuss countermeasures together at that time, maybe things would have gone in a different direction, but time will not turn back, just as utopia will eventually be disillusioned.

On the eve of the start of school, Vasily came to China again. He found Cheng Zhen, but refused to let him be an interpreter.

He brought Cheng Zhen some gifts from far away, and treated him to dinner like an old friend.Cheng Zhen refused repeatedly, but couldn't resist his persistence, so he had to go to the appointment.

To his surprise, Vasily found a Northeast restaurant, and he told Cheng Zhen that the Russian food in that western restaurant was not authentic at all.

The waiter brought the liquor with the highest alcohol content in the store, and Vasily drank a full glass before the food was served.He said that this is the custom of the Russians to drink a glass before meals, and he thought the alcohol content was too low and not as good as the vodka in his hometown.

Cheng Zhen was dumbfounded, because it was not a small cup for drinking liquor, but a small beer glass.He had heard that Russians drink a lot. He finally saw it with his own eyes, but he dared not accompany him.Vasily wanted another case of beer, and Cheng Zhen couldn't refuse. After all, in the Northeast, a man couldn't refuse even beer.

They chatted all over the world, and Vasily praised his progress and asked him if he was interested in doing business.Cheng Zhen was a little drunk, and his brain couldn't react for a long time. He drank cup by cup like a habit, and always felt that their meal was a bit strange.It wasn't that there was anything wrong with Vasily's treats, but that the pace of their drinking was too fast.

It was only later that he learned that Chinese people and Russians drink alcohol, which is simply two habits.

After the Chinese toast, they always fill up the wine glass and never empty it, but the Russians are just the opposite, they can't have wine in their glass, and once they have it, they must drink it up.Cheng Zhen poured Vasily a glass of wine, and the latter drank it up immediately, and when the other party toasted, he wanted to accompany him.

Before the meal was finished, Cheng Zhen lost consciousness. The waiter quickly called an ambulance and took him to the hospital.

No one can understand why there are so many coincidences in the world.

That happened to be the hospital where Xia Yu practiced, and Xia Yu happened to be transferred to the emergency department. Just after buying supper for the teacher, he encountered an alcoholic patient.

It happened to be Cheng Zhen.

The emergency department teacher immediately checked Cheng Zhen's pupils, pulse and blood pressure, and the nurse quickly connected him to an electrocardiogram.

Memories of the operating room two years ago came to mind, and Xia Yu experienced another round of torture.

"Why are you staring blankly? How do you usually learn?"

The teacher roared angrily, Xia Yu quickly turned Cheng Zhen over, made him lie on his side, and observed his breathing.If one day he becomes an official doctor, Cheng Zhen is definitely the last patient he wants to see.

But he has met twice, and each time is more serious.

"Find a way to contact the family."

"Teacher, I know him."

"That's easy, you do the job."

After emergency rescue, Cheng Zhen was out of danger and was sent to the ward.Xia Yu held his cell phone and did not dial for a long time. He stood beside Cheng Zhen's bed, waiting for him to regain consciousness.

No one noticed his abnormality, and the new patient occupied their full attention.

Two hours later, Cheng Zhen woke up slowly, and saw Xia Yu at first sight, showing a tranced smile.

"Alyosha..."

"Cheng Zhen."

"You come……"

Xia Yu bent down with difficulty, two hours of standing still made him stiff all over, before he even got close to the head of the bed, Cheng Zhen wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.

He was startled, and immediately pushed away. Unexpectedly, Cheng Zhen was extremely persistent, and pulled him down with all his strength, and the two struggled on the bed.

"Don't go...you are not allowed to go anywhere..."

The patient in the next bed was also terrified, desperately pressing the beeper, and the nurse just entered the ward when she saw this horrible scene...

The news quickly spread throughout the hospital, and then to the medical university through the intern classmates, and finally fell into the ears of Chang Qing and Xia Siwei.The previous anomalies were finally verified in the most difficult way for them to accept.

------

26 Torn Lies

At the end of 2005, Ang Lee's "Brokeback Mountain" was released in the United States.

No domestic theaters were willing to screen this film that swept the Oscars, Venice, Golden Globe Awards, British and American Academy of Film Awards, and there was huge controversy along with it.

Cheng Zhen and Xia Yu had watched pirated copies on the Internet in that hut.

They also experienced that whirlpool together.

Except for a few people who are moved by love itself, most people just take it as a joke. When they see two people of the same sex getting too close, they use the name of the movie to make fun of it.Only then did Cheng Zhen realize how the relationship between him and Xia Yu was viewed.

It was a cold winter in the north that year. They walked silently on the way back to their "home", went upstairs and closed the door tightly before they dared to warm each other with their body temperature, just like the two lonely people in the valley.

Short-term joy, long-term separation and depression, every episode is based on their experience.

The same is true for them, they also meet in solitude, get together less and leave more, and also regard each other as the most important people in their lives for more than ten years.

There was no light in the room, and the only source of light was the light and shadow on the computer screen. The green light enveloped the two hugging people. Before seeing the ending, their faces were soaked with water.

Xia Yu couldn't see the end, he leaned his head on Cheng Zhen's shoulder, heavy, as if he was indescribably tired.

They hadn't made love or slept that night, their naked bodies pressed together as if otherwise they would have been soaked in the cold air and wouldn't have survived the morning.

"he is my friend

he is my friend

every time i think of him

I can't help crying

Because he's my friend"

Xia Yu had never seen his father talk so much, he kept opening and closing his mouth, with suppressed anger on his face, but he couldn't hear a word, and the ending of "Brokeback Mountain" was spinning repeatedly in his mind Song "He's My Friend".

He knew it was inappropriate, but he couldn't stop it.

"He's my friend." He blurted out.

"What did you say?"

"He's my friend," he looked at his father, "that's the only friend I have."

"friend……"

Xia Siwei didn't express his opinion, but looked at him with a cold, oppressive gaze.

Xia Yu is too familiar with this look, it has been his nightmare for many years.

He still tried to defend himself: "He was drunk."

"Why don't you stay at school?"

"I've been living on campus. The internship requires night shifts, you know..."

Xia Siwei remained unmoved and kept staring at him.

So Xia Yu repeated the lie over and over again, until he almost believed that Cheng Zhen was just a friend of his, they had never done anything beyond friendship, and that kiss was just an accident.

But he can neither lie to his father nor himself, he repeats that set of lies mechanically, just like ten years ago, he kept telling himself that his mother loves him and only leaves temporarily, and his father also loves him Yes, as long as you listen to yourself.

If it wasn't for Cheng Zhen, he would have lied to himself for the rest of his life.

If it wasn't for Cheng Zhen, he wouldn't have seen that completely different world.

A vivid and real world that he never dared touch.

There, someone took out his hot heart and put it on the hand that he didn't dare to stretch out and was reluctant to retract.It was hot, like fire, burning from his hands, burning away the cage he had woven of lies.

He can never go back to the past.

"he is my friend……"

Xia Yu murmured and repeated, rather than explaining, it was more like begging, begging him not to erase the traces left by his mother bit by bit like he did back then.

"he is my friend……"

Don't turn Cheng Zhen into his friend.

Don't force him to tell the truth.

Don't make it impossible for them to be friends.

"What else do you want to say?"

Cheng Zhen discussed with Xia Yu and blamed himself for his drunken gaffe, but his lies were still easily exposed.Surprisingly, Chang Qing didn't explode as he imagined, and his calmness was strange.

He wasn't sure what the consequences of telling the truth would be, and looked at his mother hesitantly.

"Mom, we are just ordinary friends, don't be angry..."

"I'm not angry." Chang Qing sighed, "You are too young. Sometimes, friendship and love are very similar, and you still can't tell the difference."

"I can tell the difference! I'm really—" As soon as the words came out, Cheng Zhen was filled with regret.

"You can't tell the difference." Chang Qing's tone is still calm, "Sometimes even I can't tell the difference. The human heart is too complicated, even more complicated than the symptoms."

"mom……"

"You may not even remember. I had a relationship with Xia Yu's father back then."

"I remember." Cheng Zhen lowered his head, "I dropped the fake sculpture he gave you, you feel awkward..."

"How can it be so simple?" Chang Qing took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Do you know who Xia Siwei is?"

"Xia Yu's father? Your department director?"

"Back then, he was doing research projects with that Soviet professor. One was clinical and the other was in the laboratory. They worked together for several years. In the end, he didn't even give his name to the Human Rights Administration, and he monopolized all the results. Because of this, he also enjoyed the State Council The allowance, the elderly in the hospital know about it.”

Cheng Zhen was surprised: "Is he this kind of person?"

"It's not that simple." Chang Qing shook his head. "Later, the old director of Corey said that Xia Siwei didn't steal the results of his lover. The paper he published was his own research on the same topic, but many things were different. This There is no way to verify the matter, because the Soviet professor has returned to China.”

"It took me a long time to be willing to believe this. He has always been good to me, and there was that period. Then..."

"What happened after that?"

"Later, because I treated the group of people in the chemical plant, the hospital made an exception to mention the director for me, and he became cold to me."

Cheng Zhen still doesn't understand why Director Xia is not happy for him after his mother has made great achievements and has become better, but treats her coldly... If it was Xia Yu, it was too late for him to be happy for him, so how could he alienate himself?

"I don't know."

Chang Qing raised the corner of his mouth, like a smile, but not like it: "So you are still too young to understand anything."

"This has something to do with friendship and..." Cheng Zhen felt a little unnatural, "What does that have to do with it?"

"I just remind you, how complicated people are, no matter what the relationship is, don't get too deep."

Cheng Zhen didn't know where the courage came from, and blurted out:

"Then do you mind if I'm..."

"Cheng Zhen," Chang Qing looked into his eyes, "don't look down on your mother so much, homosexuality is not a disease, I have practiced medicine for so many years, I still have common sense."

"mom……"

As soon as Cheng Zhen's tears were about to come down, Chang Qing's cold water poured over him: "But don't jump to conclusions so early, how old are you? Besides Xia Yu, have you ever mentioned anyone else to me? Have you ever dated a girl? It’s not good that he is gay, he instilled these ideas in you, when you took this poor translation test…”

"Mom, stop talking."

Chang Qing recalled the past, and couldn't suppress the resentment in his chest. The more he talked, the more excited he became. Cheng Zhen listened with his head covered for half an hour, feeling dizzy.At last he heard his mother say:

"How is your application for studying abroad?"

Compared with other majors, Cheng Zhen’s language is easier to get the opportunity to study abroad. Many juniors go abroad to study every year, and almost everyone will try to apply. Cheng Zhen has also completed the preliminary process.

"It's almost a formality..."

"I don't care what you think, you must go out this year."

"why?!"

"You two have to separate."

------

27 waking up

Cheng Zhen didn't move out of the hut, neither did Xia Yu.

He hadn't been to the hospital for several days and hadn't answered anyone's calls.If it wasn't for a classmate who recognized Cheng Zhen, this was just a small tidbit during the internship and would be forgotten soon.But that classmate is not a tight-lipped person, so his lies are in vain.

It has just snowed heavily outside the window, and everything is covered in white, only the road surface sprinkled with deicing agent is black and muddy.Cursing the abnormal weather, people trampled on the black mud and white snow until the fairy tale world became a messy reality.

Cheng Zhen and Xia Yu curled up in their utopia, the chaos of the world has nothing to do with them for the time being, that bed became their last safe haven.

Xia Yu hugged Cheng Zhen, strangled him so much that he couldn't breathe, and refused to let go, Cheng Zhen also hugged him back.

They wanted to let go of each other and take a breath, but anxiety and fear seemed to suck everything into a vacuum, and they were squeezed tightly, unable to break free.

Cheng Zhen couldn't figure out why the matter between the two of them should startle the whole world.He had never seen Xia Yu lose his composure like this, even though he was still gentle and still trying to comfort himself, his hug was so anxious that he almost broke his arms.

After a long time, he let go of Cheng Zhen, and his voice returned to calm:

"Go."

Cheng Zhen sat up abruptly and stared at him in disbelief. He was full of expectations that Xia Yu would say something to hold him back—if he said it, he would immediately give up his qualifications to study abroad and stay by his side firmly, even if the whole world stood by them On the other side, he wants to fight to the end for Alyosha alone, at any cost...

"Why?" He couldn't hide his loss, as if he had been betrayed.

Xia Yu sat up and tried to hug him, Cheng Zhen struggled a bit in resistance, but seeing his tender eyes, he obediently handed himself over to him.

"Why, Alyosha..."

If he said yes, it would not be difficult to die, he would.

Xia Yu knew Cheng Zhen too well, so he lowered his head and kissed his forehead, trying to dispel his silly thoughts.

"I love you, Cheng Zhen."

"Me too, you don't know how much I..."

"I know," Xia Yu tightened his hug, "except you, no one can give me such emotion...but she is right, you have to go out."

"I don't know."

"Because this kind of adult imitation game must end. It is too fragile and cannot withstand a little blow. We are not capable of maintaining this 'home'..."

"Alyosha, I understand the truth," Cheng Zhen pushed him down on the bed and kissed carelessly, "But I'm just afraid, a year is too long, I'm afraid..."

Xia Yu smiled: "We didn't see each other for a year before."

"It's different!" Cheng Zhen's kiss turned into biting, "Moscow is too far away..."

"I'm waiting for you."

Xia Yu turned over and changed their positions. When the warm weight lay on his body, Cheng Zhen's panic subsided.

"Cheng Zhen, I have waited for you for so many years, waiting for you to grow up, waiting for your response, and waiting for us to come to this day... It's only been a year... After coming back, there will be a better Cheng Zhen... Why are you crying?"

"I don't know, Alyosha... I want you..."

"it is good."

Cheng Zhen hadn't been this irritable for a long time. He carried Xia Yu on a rampage and couldn't find an angle that would save him from pain, nor could he make himself happy.

The bittersweet torture lasted for a long time. At the end, Cheng Zhen desperately kissed Xia Yu's white lips, and cried on his body.

In his narrow world, Alyosha is the only treasure, and he finally realizes that he has no ability to protect him.Like many years ago in childhood, tears only meant weakness and helpless catharsis.

Soon after the start of school, Cheng Zhen's application was approved.

Except for his mother, the people around him knew nothing about the turmoil he experienced, and they were all busy.Many people passed the application, and most of them chose St. Petersburg. Of the people Cheng Zhen knew, he was the only one who was about to go to Moscow. He didn't mention the real reason to anyone except Xia Yu.

His life is far from Cheng Zhen’s peace.

While there was no overt discrimination, prying eyes became more and more frequent.Conservatives have complicated attitudes towards him, and their words have become cautious, while radicals regard him as a warrior and send "support" in various forms.The same depressed male classmate approached him, expressly hinting that he wanted to have a relationship with him. During that time, he received many inexplicable confessions.But most people are still alienated, and when Xia Yu is mentioned, they show expressions that cannot be explained.

Cheng Zhen could only speculate about his situation through imagination, because he never wanted to bring up this topic.

Once back in the cabin, they eagerly strip each other and make love like there's no tomorrow.It was a period of time out of control, inside and outside the thin door, it was fire and ice, drunk and awake, utopia and reality.

But in those enchanted drunken dreams, they have nothing but desperate desires.

The most tender kiss and the most violent desire appear on the same person, there is no contradiction at all, Cheng Zhen is physically dizzy and his heart is in a trance.

It is impossible for anyone to give him the same love again, he never regrets giving up everything, and has no interest in trying the unknown.

So did Alyosha.

It's just that they didn't realize this at the time, and they still needed to confirm repeatedly that they could find their own existence in the other's desire and fanaticism.

Chang Qing kept silent about their behavior, she knew it was their last indulgence.After the summer, Cheng Zhen is about to face a brand new environment, which may make him let go of everything in the past.

She also wanted to talk to Xia Siwei.

There are only two people in the director's office, and the colleagues are away, so Chang Qing and Xia Siwei don't need to be polite.

"Cheng Zhen's going abroad is good for language learning, and it can also divert Xia Yu's attention..."

"I support your approach." Xia Siwei looked at the recommendation form in front of him, "But I have to think about the candidate for the director of the department. I will retire in the second half of the year, and I have to investigate in the next few months."

"You think I'm here to talk to you about this?" Chang Qing's voice suddenly cooled down. "Is there something else in your eyes? I'm discussing the future of the children with you!"

Xia Siwei raised his eyes: "It's just a farce, there's nothing to discuss, it's good to be sober and sober separately. Chang Qing, let me ask you, if you become the director, will you continue my set of things?"

"No." Chang Qing met his gaze, "To be honest, your system is outdated. We need a more people-oriented approach to make the rest of the patient's life as good as possible and reduce sequelae, instead of one-sided pursuit of efficiency... ..."

"That's why you need to continue to improve." Xia Siwei still didn't give up. "There is a lot of work to be done here. Chang Qing, you are someone I trust. How can you set up another way to fight against me?"

"Director Xia, this is science, not human affairs."

"Okay, if you don't do it, I still have students. It's time for Xia Yu to choose a direction. I have plenty of heirs..."

Chang Qing could no longer communicate with him, and turned to leave.

In the summer of 2006, Cheng Zhen was 20 years old and traveled away from home for the first time.

He declined his mother's escort and went on the road alone, so Chang Qing sent him to the train station, where he was going to set off for Beijing and then board the plane to Moscow.

He absently listened to his mother's instructions, his eyes drifted to the back of the crowd, watching Xia Yu's figure from a distance, until he engraved his appearance in his heart, and then played it back over and over again during the long journey.

While Cheng Zhen was chewing on loneliness, Xia Yu was also bearing his father's punishment for his choice.

------

28 Betrayal and Loyalty

Xia Siwei did not expect that Xia Yu would choose Pan Huaiming as his mentor.

He couldn't understand that his son would choose surgery, and he couldn't understand that he chose trauma surgery, which was the dirtiest, tiring, and most emergency department in surgery.He hated blood all his life, so Xia Yu chose the most unacceptable direction to engage in such a subject close to chemistry.

He couldn't forgive that Xia Yu not only didn't engage in his discipline, but also held a negative attitude towards his therapy system just like Chang Qing.What's more, there was the turmoil that made him lose face. Xia Yu lied to him first, but later he didn't even bother to lie and lived with Cheng Zhen openly.

Thinking of Xia Yu's obedience since he was a child, Xia Siwei felt a little sad. His behavior was tantamount to betrayal, and this was not the first time he had betrayed himself.

The bad news doesn't stop there.

The times have been advancing, and the production environment and safety guarantees of factories have been greatly improved. The large-scale poisoning accidents of many years ago have become less and less, and pneumoconiosis has become the most serious occupational disease. Most patients go to the respiratory department for medical treatment.After Xia Siwei retired, the hospital did not re-employ him, and abolished the department where he worked. Only three consulting rooms took up half of the floor.The Department of Poisoning and Occupational Diseases, which used to be a key department of the Second Provincial Hospital, became an ordinary department following his retirement.

Chang Qing has become the new director of the department. Her research topic is the rehabilitation of poisoning sequelae, as if she is making up for the trauma of the previous era.

Xia Siwei lost everything overnight, he couldn't hold on to anything except Xia Yu, and even Xia Yu was getting farther and farther away from him.He couldn't stop the torrent of the times, and he couldn't find a way to bring his son back, so he could only make the last struggle.

He blamed Cheng Zhen for Xia Yu's betrayal. During that time, all his energy was devoted to their relationship, and he kept asking:

"Are you broken?"

Xia Yu's answer became more and more certain: "No."

In the end, he told his father frankly: "There is no way we will be apart."

So Xia Siwei cut off his source of income.

That was the darkest time in Xia Yu's life. Cheng Zhen was thousands of miles away, unable to return to his own family, and had no source of income, and their utopia also collapsed.

Every night, he still sleeps there until the rent is due.

He arranges their memories one by one, every piece of furniture, every piece of fabric, every inch of the ground.

Everywhere they hugged.

The smell of Cheng Zhen was still on the bed, and there was still a coat in the closet that he hadn't taken away in time. Xia Yu took off his clothes, wrapped his body with it, and then sank into the bedding, expecting to have a spring dream with Cheng Zhen.

However, the morning is always bitter, the sweetness of the dream always disappears the moment you open your eyes, and even the memories disappear with waking up, leaving only the stains on the body.

He took everything he could take away, and what he couldn't take away, he sent them to the second-hand market