yesterday's wine

remind me that I don't belong here, that I'm not like you..."

"I do not have!"

Cheng Zhen went up to explain, Xia Yu subconsciously took a step to the side to distance them, so he had to stand where he was.

"I originally wanted to give you a harmonica..." He explained with difficulty, "But no matter how good the piano is, it's not that one... The harmonica is not what matters, right?"

Xia Yu closed his eyes and did not answer.

"I know, you don't want to think about the past, and I don't want to mention the person who left us... But I'm different from others. I never feel that you don't belong here, and I don't think you are different. I just think--"

Cheng Zhen had been puzzled by the question for a year, and at that moment he suddenly understood, miraculously, he figured out why he wanted to learn Russian:

"I want to get closer to you."

"What did you say?"

"I……"

Cheng Zhen's voice suddenly dropped. What he said just now exhausted his courage, and he couldn't say it again.

Xia Yu opened his eyes and his face softened.

He said "why" in Russian, his fully developed vocal cords vibrated heavily, and his voice was hoarse and soft like an adult's.

Cheng Zhen was sweating profusely, completely unaware that his face was flushed red as if he had run all the way.

"I want to get... closer to you... a little bit."

Xia Yu smiled and rubbed his head:

"I teach you."

"what?"

"I'll teach you Russian."

Cheng Zhen's heart beat frighteningly fast, as if hit by a gentle electric current, his whole body felt light.

Xia Yu embraced his shoulders, and pressed down the body that was trying to leave the ground:

"I'll also teach you something serious."

But the voice was right next to Cheng Zhen's ears, piercing his eardrums, stirring all the way in his body, and quickly calmed his only rationality. He looked at the pair of blue eyes that could drown him:

"I will learn what you teach me..."

------

11 so close, so far

"Have you ever listened to the class?" Xia Yu tapped Cheng Zhen's wrong question with a pencil, "This is all the basics. I don't believe your teacher hasn't taught it."

Cheng Zhen was like a primary school student, holding his hands between his knees and bowing his head to be scolded.Only then did he realize that Xia Yu was far less talkative than usual when he was serious, and he didn't give him a good look all afternoon.

He looked at Xia Yu flatteringly: "Do you drink water?"

"Don't drink." The latter didn't appreciate it.

Cheng Zhen was making fun of himself, and was feeling a little depressed when the back of his head was rubbed, and the hand slid down, pinching the flesh on the back of his neck, and brought his attention back to the exercise book like carrying a cat.

"Seriously."

"Oh……"

Xia Yu's so-called "serious" things refer to helping him make up lessons.Cheng Zhen was disappointed for a moment, and soon he was surprised that the same topic, from Xia Yu's mouth, was always more effective than the teacher's class.Probably because they are all students, Xia Yu's explanation is closer to Cheng Zhen's way of understanding, or maybe there are other reasons, even Cheng Zhen himself is not aware of it.

In short, as long as it is the knowledge points that Xia Yu has mentioned, he will not make mistakes again, and many years later, when he starts working, he still remembers the question types at that time.

But this can't solve all of Cheng Zhen's problems. He has too many shortcomings, and Xia Yu can't take care of them completely. What's more, Cheng Zhen has a more fatal problem.

——He is really like what he said, he will learn whatever Xia Yu teaches, and the number of distractions in class is getting more and more frequent, especially on weekends, when he thinks that he will see Xia Yu soon, he can't listen to anything.

Xia Yu didn't know the inside story, and felt helpless for his low-level mistakes every time, so he had to stay up all night to sort out a whole set of junior high school science knowledge points for him, plus his own experience.

That year when he was in his third year of high school, everyone was working hard for their future, except Xia Yu, who wasted a little time on things that didn't help.He clearly knew the consequences, but he couldn't convince himself to stop.

I don't know when, he can no longer say no to Cheng Zhen.

He looks no different from others, with the same black hair and black eyes, maybe he looks a little more outstanding, but he is not like himself, he is always the focus of attention wherever he goes.He talked too much, especially when he was a child, he had to talk endlessly after school every day.Later, he didn't like to talk much, but he still loved to revolve around himself, and whenever he found an opportunity, he would explore his past...

"Alyosha, Alyosha, Alyosha..."

"I want to get closer to you."

He's come close enough.

It's close, it's about to enter his heart.

In half a year, he will leave this city and go to a university in other places. After five years, maybe seven or eight years, he will stay there.That will be his whole life, and Cheng Zhen will also have his own future, they are destined to part ways.

These short few years are the shortest distance they can achieve.

What else can he do for him?

Xia Yu suddenly found that his handwriting was getting more and more illegible, so he tore off the piece of paper and copied it again.

The relationship between Chang Qing and Xia Siwei has been almost made public, and even the department is no longer making a fuss.But after the wooden elephant was broken, Chang Qing's attitude towards Xia Siwei became a bit complicated. Before she could figure out where this vague resistance came from, things changed.

That night, all the staff on duty, who were always complete, took leave of absence. Chang Qing, the deputy director of Dr. Sanhua, had to stay temporarily.In the middle of the night, the tranquility in the duty room was suddenly broken. The Second Provincial Hospital received the largest batch of acute poisoning patients in history—a chemical plant in the suburbs worked overnight, and a misoperation by fatigued workers caused a disaster.

Chang Qing ordered the disposal immediately, and then remembered to report to the dean and Xia Siwei. When they arrived at the hospital, most of the patients had been treated in time and were out of danger.In that rescue, many people suffered from several kinds of poisoning at the same time. In the conventional treatment, there was almost no experience in dealing with this situation. Chang Qing took the risk of using the solution in the project that he had not yet obtained approval, and unexpectedly succeeded.

Despite the great controversy, she was honored by provinces, cities, and even the country. For various reasons, the hospital exceptionally promoted her to be the chief physician.

Xia Siwei's attitude towards her became subtle from then on.He stopped being attentive to her, and gradually returned to the level of business affairs.

Under such circumstances, it is impossible for Chang Qing to have more contacts with Xia's family as before, not to mention that Xia Yu is facing the college entrance examination, so she has to remind Cheng Zhen not to pester Xia Yu to make up lessons.

At that time, Cheng Zhen was so absorbed in his dependence on Xia Yu that he didn't think about the consequences this would bring to them.

When he took the thick stack of paper Xia Yu gave him, he almost regarded it as a teaching material and read it over and over again.

"Can you feel at ease now?"

"Well, yes."

The clear and juan font attracted Cheng Zhen's full attention. He didn't notice that Xia Yu's complexion was much paler than before, and there was a faint shadow under his eyes, which looked like he had suffered from long-term sleep deprivation.

After Xia Yu delivered the materials, he got on his bicycle.

Cheng Zhen quickly caught up: "You want to go back?"

"I may not have time for the next weekend."

Xia Yu bid him farewell apologetically, Cheng Zhen subconsciously grabbed his school uniform with his fingertips, only to find his hands full of loneliness.

The weak pulling sensation spread from the corner of his clothes to Xia Yu's shoulders, which also opened a crack in his willpower.

Not long after, he came back to visit Cheng Zhen. His parents and teachers were kept in the dark by them, like some kind of secret date, but the content of the date was surprisingly pure, and it could only be pure.

He put all his thoughts on Cheng Zhen's studies and convinced himself that this was the most important thing between them.

Recalling this time later, they all agreed that both of them were off track, whether it was the willful Cheng Zhen or Xia Yu who thought he could balance everything.

That summer, Cheng Zhen was 14 years old.For him, this was just a break between the third and fourth grades, but for Xia Yu, it was a turning point in his life.

According to his father's wishes, he applied for the medical school directly under the Ministry of Health in Beijing.With the teaching level of his high school, many students are recommended to Qingbei every year, and the average score has already exceeded the cut-off mark. With Xia Yu's usual grades, the medical school is not a difficult school.

But he still failed.

It's not a difference of one point or two points. Compared with his usual score, that score is almost a score difference.Xia Siwei used his connections to find several people to verify his grades, but they all got the same result, the number was correct.

Cheng Zhen knocked open the door of Xia Yu's house desperately, and saw that haggard figure.

Xia Yu glanced at his father, silently sent him out, and took him to the riverside by bike again.

Cheng Zhen's voice was changing, just happened to be suffering from a cold again, his throat was burning with pain, but the pain was less than one ten-thousandth of the pain in his chest.In his impression, Xia Yu's image has always been so tall and outstanding, and such things will never be associated with him.

The only reason can only be yourself.

He couldn't tell what he was feeling at the moment, but he felt so painful that he couldn't breathe. He pressed his forehead against Xia Yu's back, and tears soaked his shirt.

Cheng Zhen didn't want Xia Yu to comfort him anymore, so he wiped away all his tears before getting out of the car.

Xia Yu looked at those red eyes, but still patted him on the shoulder.

Cheng Zhen couldn't hold back his tears.

"How old are you still crying?"

"Sorry……"

"If your voice is so hoarse, don't talk."

Cheng Zhen shook his head, he couldn't say anything other than sorry, he could only repeat it over and over again.

Xia Yu sighed: "I did it on purpose."

Cheng Zhen raised his head suddenly, stared at him for a long time, but didn't find any sign of a joke: "Why..."

Xia Yu's expression was gloomy: "I can't say."

He looked at the river quietly for a while, then turned to Cheng Zhen: "Do you remember I asked, what kind of person do you want to be and where are you going?"

Cheng Zhen nodded.

"I knew it at first," Xia Yu continued, "but this year, many things have been messed up, and the previous goal is not that important."

"Do you have a new goal?" Cheng Zhen's voice was hoarse.

Xia Yu looked at him deeply for a long time, then looked away: "What about you? You haven't answered my question back then."

Cheng Zhen thought of the ambition he once said, that he wanted to be a doctor. At that time, he had no plans for the future. Thinking about it now, he is still at a loss. The only difference is that he has a vague direction.

"I want to be with you."

Xia Yu's body trembled slightly, and he asked calmly, "Do you know what 'together' is?"

Cheng Zhen hesitated, "Like... now?"

Xia Yu looked at the young man in front of him, who was already about the same height as himself. His appearance gradually lost his childishness, but his heart was as pure as before. He sighed again:

"This is impossible."

"why?"

"People have to grow up. You still have a long way to go. We can only go here together."

Although he was unwilling to face it any more, Cheng Zhen finally saw the reality clearly. Even if Xia Yu stayed here forever, he would go further and further away. The unprecedented panic gripped his heart, and he grabbed his arms hard:

"Can't you go further?"

"It's not about one person."

Xia Yu wasn't sure if Cheng Zhen could understand, but felt that the conversation was absurd and hopeless. He could only stop here if he wanted to say anything more, and it would be a crime for Cheng Zhen to say more than half a word.

However, things always developed in unexpected directions. Under the watchful eyes of everyone, Cheng Zhen pushed him hard and hugged him into his arms.

"I won't go, and I don't want you to go." His arms tightened tighter and tighter, causing Xia Yu's ribs to hurt, "You don't know, I don't want to go to the school I am now at all, I just want to go to the school you went to One. But I can't make the decision, I've been very uncomfortable these few years..."

"Cheng Zhen..." Xia Yu broke his hand hard, only to realize that his strength was much stronger than before, and it was difficult for him to break free, "Cheng Zhen, listen to me..."

"I don't listen." Cheng Zhen put his chin on his shoulder, "There is still one year, you have to repeat this year, right?"

"Yeah." Xia Yu couldn't push Cheng Zhen away, his cheeks flushed from the eyes of passers-by, "Let me go, okay?"

"Let me finish." Cheng Zhen hugged him tighter again, "I want to be admitted to the high school you studied, and you know where you are going. After three years, I will go to you. Where are you going? Where am I going..."

"Cheng Zhen, why are you doing this?"

"I don't know, I just want you."

Xia Yu closed his eyes and stopped talking.

That year, he was hugged tightly by a 14-year-old boy on the side of the Songhua River where people come and go, on the road they walked countless times.

He allowed himself to sink into this embrace, unable to escape any more.

------

12 drunk dizziness

Between "saying" and "doing", there is a year of hard work.

While tasting the bitter fruit of three years of self-willedness, Cheng Zhen chased after him masochistically.In the beginning, no one cared about his change. The junior high school students in the fourth grade were all equally nervous. Few of them paid attention to things other than exams. They only paid a little attention to other people's scores when the results were announced.

After several exams, Cheng Zhen could no longer be ignored.

During that year, he rarely saw Xia Yu. He had never been a repeater, but he could imagine what it meant to be a repeater among such a group of proud students.Loneliness, shame, and doubled strange eyes, all placed on him alone, made him unbearable, not to mention the multiple times of pressure.He knew that he was also one of the sources of those pressures.

But he still couldn't understand why Xia Yu gave up that medical school in Beijing, and his new goal was never mentioned to him.This person is like a mystery that becomes more and more elusive with age.

None of this affected Cheng Zhen's missing of him. He didn't care how many secrets Xia Yu still had. He felt peaceful and satisfied when he thought that they were working hard for the same thing in different places.

Cheng Zhen regards Xia Yu's handwritten information as a treasure, and does not leave his side for 24 hours.Take it to school during the day, look at it from time to time, and even put it on the desk when you are in class, and rub it with your fingers.At night, it was put on the bedside and became his only bedtime reading.After reading that font for a long time, it gradually affected Cheng Zhen's handwriting. Many characters were written exactly the same as Xia Yu's.

Before falling asleep, he thought in a daze, if Xia Yu became a doctor, he would be so sick that he would fill his medical record book without prescribing a pill, as long as he took this medical record home, he would be able to get sick. remove.

Despite the short winter break for the senior class, they found a chance to see each other.

It was freezing cold, Xia Yu didn't ride a bike, and squeezed into the bus with Cheng Zhen, and the destination was still Jiangpan Park.

At that time, most of the buses on the street did not have air-conditioning, and the weak heating was only enough to keep the driver warm, and the temperature in the cabin was not much higher than the outside.People wore heavy winter clothes and exhaled moist white air. The moisture puffed on the car windows and condensed into rainforest-like ice flowers.

Xia Yu and Cheng Zhen were also wearing bloated down jackets, and they were squeezed together by the crowd. They faced each other, and the heat was blowing on each other's faces. I don't know if it was the cold weather or other reasons, they all turned red.The water vapor condensed, and thin drops of water hung on the eyelashes of the two, making the black eyes darker and the blue eyes bluer.

They looked at each other quietly, unable to express their emotions at that moment in words.

Cheng Zhen felt joy flowing all over his body again, and leaned forward involuntarily.The bus was about to arrive at the terminal by the river, and the bus was no longer crowded, but Xia Yu didn't back away.The same throbbing also resonated in his body, and due to the maturity of his mind, he realized more clearly than Cheng Zhen what this feeling meant.

He still didn't dodge. In the sub-zero temperature of the car, he was sweating hotly, and a layer of water dripped from his forehead and the bridge of his nose.

Cheng Zhen was fascinated again.

He unconsciously opened his mouth slightly, his breath blurred his face, his eyes became bright and blurred.Xia Yu suddenly forgot to breathe, and the dizziness from lack of oxygen made him almost fall over. He only saw Cheng Zhen's hazy face, and his reason could no longer stop him. With that faint drunkenness, he slowly approached himself...

Just then, the driver slammed on the brakes.

Xia Yu was thrown out without warning, and he took a few steps back before regaining his balance. It was rare for Cheng to see him in a mess, so he burst out laughing.

Other passengers scolded the driver, who stuck his head out of the window and scolded the pedestrian for not looking at the red light.

Xia Yu pressed his forehead against the cold handrail and closed his eyes tightly until the storm in his heart subsided.

Cheng Zhen smiled for a while before realizing something was wrong, and leaned forward with concern: "What's wrong? Did you slip away?"

"fine."

Until he got off the car, he kept a distance of more than half a meter from Cheng Zhen.

The river was empty, and the strong wind quickly blew through their down jackets.They cringed their necks, gloated at a group of southern tourists, and shivered behind the tour guide in military coat.

Cheng Zhen himself was terribly cold, but he bought two popsicles at the kiosk, handed one to Xia Yu, and walked past them showing off with one in his mouth, causing a burst of exclamation.

"You're really bad." Xia Yu smiled and took a bite.

Cheng Zhen looked at that smile, compared to it, the popsicle in his mouth lost its sweetness.He suddenly wanted to eat the one Xia Yu bit into, it must be sweeter than the popsicle in his hand.

The second half of the semester passed quickly in a busy environment. To everyone's surprise, Cheng Zhen's score climbed into the top few in the class.That score is enough to be admitted to any provincial key high school, except Xia Yu's, which needs more.

Chang Qing had never seen his son study so hard, so he couldn't help worrying about his mental state, and went to the teacher several times quietly, but found nothing unusual.It is rare for her to prepare every meal for Cheng Zhen. The taste cannot be guaranteed, but the nutrition can definitely be guaranteed.Cheng Zhen didn't complain either, he didn't care about his diet, and went back to study after filling his stomach, leaving his mother alone with complicated feelings.

In early June, the city ushered in the college entrance examination.

The traffic police imposed martial law on some streets, prohibiting vehicles from honking their horns, and the commercial streets near the examination center were silent, and the whole city was giving the green light to the candidates.Cheng Zhen's school became an examination room. They cleaned up the classroom and went home for the holiday. The teacher didn't leave much homework, giving them a rare respite.

Cheng Zhen couldn't sit on the bench at home, because Xia Yu's examination room was in his school.

On the eve of the exam, Cheng Zhen took Xia Yu and carefully drew him a floor plan, marking the location of the stairs and bathrooms, lest he get lost in the teaching building.Xia Yu thought it was completely unnecessary, but still accepted the picture with a smile.

Of course it couldn't be brought into the exam room, but it remained in his drawer, along with his other most important possessions.

Many parents used various methods to get private cars to pick up candidates. Xia Yu still rode his bicycle to the examination room. The hospital couldn't do without Xia Siwei, and it was impossible for him to stand outside the examination room and wait for him.

Early in the morning of the exam day, Cheng Zhen lay on the window sill and watched Xia Yu ride away from the family building, so he immediately chased him downstairs and stepped onto the bus to school.He hid in the residential corridor opposite the school and stood there for a whole day until Xia Yu finished the last subject of the day and returned by bicycle before taking the bus home.

The next day, he followed behind as before. The difference was that when the exam was over in the afternoon, he waited at the school gate, standing in the most conspicuous position.

As soon as Xia Yu came out of the teaching building, he saw Cheng Zhen standing there, sweating from the sun.

Surrounded by parents asking "how did you do the exam" one after another, Cheng Zhen didn't ask anything, but looked at him with burning eyes, hotter than the afternoon sun.

Xia Yu suddenly wanted to hold him in his arms, wipe off his sweat and anxiety, stretched out his hand, but landed on his shoulder, and walked out of the crowd with his arms.

"The question is quite simple." He said lightly.

Cheng Zhen still didn't let go of his heart. He had been listening to the conversations of those parents. They all complained that this year's exam questions were particularly difficult and tricky, and many candidates began to collapse before finishing the exam.

Xia Yu had no choice but to rub it on his head until he didn't want to recall the anxiety.He took him with him on a bicycle, and went for a few laps on the street until he had completely cooled down before going back.

Xia Yu's vacation has just begun, and the next moment is Cheng Zhen's time.

During that time, when Cheng Zhen recalled later, he always felt a little inexplicable guilt.He has never forgotten Xia Yu, but half a month before the high school entrance examination, it seemed that this person had never appeared in his life.

It wasn't until he also finished the last subject, walked out of the examination room, and saw Xia Yu at the same place at the school gate, that he regained the memory between them.

He threw himself into Xia Yu's arms calmly, and hugged his back hard, unwilling to let go for a long time.

"The question...is quite simple."

After speaking, he laughed himself first.

Xia Yu also smiled: "My score is out."

He reported a number, and Cheng Zhen opened his eyes wide: "This, is it enough for Peking University?"

After being surprised, he suddenly remembered their agreement, and his heart hung up again: "What school did you apply for?"

"University of Medicine."

"Which medical university?"

"H Medical University is on Xuefu Road."

Cheng Zhen pushed him away: "Are you crazy? What a waste!"

Xia Yu just smiled, took a step forward, and returned to him.Cheng Zhen pushed him away again, and he approached again, the crowd dispersed, and they were still playing this kind of pushing and shoving game.

Cheng Zhen's anger had dissipated, and he felt an unspeakable joy in his heart. For the next three years, he no longer had to worry about them being separated.

He accidentally squeezed Xia Yu's chest muscles, and jokingly said, "It's well developed."

Xia Yu grabbed his wrist, twisted it behind Cheng Zhen, and wiped his Adam's apple: "You too."

Cheng Zhen couldn't break free, so he had to cry out the pain and give in, but when Xia Yu let go, he started to move his feet again.

Xia Yu led him on a bicycle, and he touched him all the way, touching his entire upper body.He knew that it was just a simple prank, but he was so hot that he had to stop repeatedly to knock off the dishonest hand.

Cheng Zhen also felt that he was too sticky, but he couldn't control it, his whole body wanted to stick to it.The bicycle was riding on the uneven road, and their bodies collided from time to time. Every touch brought him a strange feeling that he had never felt before. It didn't take long for his cheeks to burn red.

Cheng Zhen didn't know why he blushed, but he was instinctively guilty.

That night, he had a strange dream.

He dreamed that he hugged Xia Yu tightly, that hug was as pure as usual, the only abnormality was that he experienced the feeling when he was riding a car again, and in that dream, this feeling was much stronger than reality...

The next morning, Cheng Zhen realized what had happened.

His body finally bid farewell to childhood.

------

13 Precious

At first, Cheng Zhen didn't feel shy.

Long before this incident happened, he had already received several rounds of sex education, and his first reaction was nothing more than "sooner or later it should come".As usual, he soaked his underwear in the basin, poured half a spoonful of washing powder and began to rub.

Cheng Zhen was busy with his hands, and his mind was not empty, and he thought of Xia Yu unconsciously.

He should have experienced this a long time ago, has he also dreamed of hugging someone, and tasted this sweet pleasure... Thinking of this, he couldn't help but panic, his whole body was hot, sweat dripped down his neck, itchy , and can't scratch, hands full of foam and anxious.

"You're sweating all over this job? Your collar is soaked."

Chang Qing's voice suddenly sounded behind him, and Cheng Zhen shuddered all over. Looking back, he saw his mother's gaze gradually changed from surprise to amusement, and he couldn't help but become angry from embarrassment:

"Mom, get out!"

Chang Qing smiled, "Ouch", and leisurely left his sight.

Cheng Zhen was so ashamed that he brought breakfast into his room and didn't talk to his mother all day.

Among those emotions, shyness dissipated first, and guilt gradually gained the upper hand.He felt more and more that his feelings for Xia Yu were slipping from pure dependence to a completely unfamiliar direction.

He no longer dared to ride in Xia Yu's car, and always walked side by side with him, separated by an empty bicycle.Later, he began to avoid being alone with Xia Yu. Even if he was learning Russian, he had to do so in public places, either on the steps of the river embankment or in the cold drink hall on the old street, across a dining table, and use ice cream to suppress his heart. hot and dry.

They don't have many friends, and they seldom vent their excess energy by playing ball and going to Internet cafes like other peers.So throughout the summer vacation, Cheng Zhen had countless anxious dreams, and the most ordinary contacts during the day all became the material of dreams.

He woke up in the wet morning, thinking of Xia Yu again and again, and his heart was full of guilt.

Of course Xia Yu could see the clue.

Cheng Zhen's evasive eyes, his extended and retracted hand, his left and right sides when talking about related topics... Every time he thinks about it, a subtle softness swells in his heart.

He has finally grown up.

While Xia Yu was happy for him, he also told himself that there were some things that he had to stop here, just like his father reminded him.

Xia Siwei was extremely annoyed by his choice, he just took it as an accident that he failed the exam in the first year, but in the second college entrance examination, he never expected that his son would revise his choice and choose to stay in the local area.Throughout the summer vacation, Xia Yu didn't stay at home for a few days, and ran out every now and then to "fool around" with Cheng Zhen.

Chang Qing's status in the department is getting higher and higher, and he is about to become a candidate for the department director. Although he is about to retire, the hospital will definitely re-hire an expert like him, and the right to speak is not about to be given up now. His Of course the position cannot be shaken.

"Xia Yu, you have to be cautious when making friends."

He couldn't find a chance to attack, so he could only remind his son insincerely to avoid associating with Changqing's children.It doesn't matter if he didn't go to Beijing, H Medical University has a lot of his own students teaching, so he can watch Xia Yu more or less, so he can get down to business.

After the summer vacation, Cheng Zhen entered his dream school.

The bulletin board downstairs in the teaching building also posted the grades of the graduates and the schools they were admitted to.Every time he passed by, he had to take a few glances at Xia Yu's name until the red paper faded and was torn, and was peeled off by the cleaning staff.

He still couldn't understand why Xia Yu insisted on studying medicine for seven years. Of course, with his personality, there was no career more suitable for him than a doctor.

Cheng Zhen thought of himself again, no matter which department in the hospital, he couldn't sit still.Not only because he couldn't bear the loneliness, he had witnessed his mother being accused by patients and family members who didn't understand him many times, and he explained in humiliation that with his temper, he would definitely explode on the spot...

That being the case, where is my future?

However, his homework did not give him much time to distract him. Soon, Cheng Zhen also lived a life of dormitory, classroom, and cafeteria. While he complained about being bored, he also felt a little sympathetic to Xia Yu back then.

Among the provincial key points, not all are good students who are safe and sound. There are always a few boys with active thoughts who are regarded as troublesome by the teacher. A roommate of Cheng Zhen is one of them.He often goes over the wall to go online, or borrow some indescribable comics from the bookstore, and other roommates rush to read them every time.

Cheng Zhen has also seen that kind of cartoon.

He has seen naked human bodies in medical books, and he has never thought about them, but the pictures in comics give him a strange urge to attack, destroy, and also want to hold someone tightly in his arms to fill his heart the emptiness.

It was another sleepless night, and Cheng Zhen did what every adolescent boy would do.

In the tiredness after the hot flashes dissipated, he thought of Xia Yu again.

Has he also seen this cartoon?Do the same thing at night?What was he like at that time...

Cheng Zhen was startled into a cold sweat by his own thoughts, and didn't dare to think about it anymore.

On holidays and weekends, Cheng Zhen seldom goes home, and most of the time, he goes to see Xia Yu at the Medical University.

They tacitly met behind their parents' backs, as if it was something shameful, but they were together just reading and studying, Xia Yu had endless books to memorize, and Cheng Zhen was brushing up questions.

The most indulgent thing they have ever done is to hang out in the snack street near the university.Cheng Zhen has always had no pursuit of food, probably because his taste buds were spoiled by the hospital cafeteria and his mother's cooking skills when he was a child, so that whatever Xia Yu took him to eat, he thought it was a delicacy in the world, and every time he went back to school, he would not be satisfied with it for at least a week.

At that time, not many people had mobile phones, and most of them had an IC phone card. There were many public phones on campus and on the street, and they could be used just by plugging in the card.When Cheng Zhen called home, he was always concise and to the point. To his mother's worries and exhortations, he always responded with a six-character motto - I know, it's okay, it's okay.

For Xia Yu, he is not so simple, and his language is so rich that he almost goes back to elementary school.Cheng Zhen has no hobby of burning money, and he doesn't care about food and drink. All the money he saves is used to buy phone cards, and he calls him every few days.Fortunately, Xia Yu has a Nokia, so he doesn't have to go to the dormitory manager's room to answer the phone, otherwise he will be blacklisted by the administrator.

Xia Yu's roommates always teased him, and would not bring them a girlfriend if he had one, but they had never seen him get close to any girl.Every holiday, he doesn't go out to play with them, and always spends time in the study room and library with a boy carrying a schoolbag.Xia Yu only said that the boy was his younger brother, without explaining the difference in their appearance.

The classmates imagined many dramatic stories, but no one dared to ask him to confirm them. However, their behavior of doing homework together became an out-and-out "pervert" in the jokes of the classmates.

Of course, they couldn't understand the abnormal happiness.

Cheng Zhen would also tease him with these two words, Xia Yu always laughed it off, and then pressed the waves in his heart deeper.He knew that in a corner of his heart that no one could see, he was fully worthy of the word pervert.

On New Year's Day, Cheng Zhen didn't go home, nor did Xia Yu.

Chang Qing complained about Cheng Zhen on the phone, and could only understand that he "concentrate on studying", and repeatedly told him not to be too tired.Cheng Zhenzhen lied, hung up the phone and rushed to the bus stop.

Xia Yu's class organized a small party and invited a few students from other classes. Cheng Zhen was also watching in the classroom with a bag of snacks in his arms.Everyone is asked to produce a show, no professionalism is required, as long as it is lively, it is not so much a "performance" as a "show".Everyone laughed at each other and encouraged each other, and the atmosphere was quite cheerful.

Cheng Zhen didn't watch any of the shows, because Xia Yu was sitting next to him, making rare laughter from time to time, and the half of his body that was close to him was warmed by the laughter.

"What's wrong?" Xia Yu noticed his gaze and turned to look at him with a residual smile on his face.

Cheng Zhen was startled, potato chips spilled all over the floor, he hurriedly leaned over to clean his feet, avoiding the eyes that made his heart beat wildly.

"Xia Yu! Xia Yu!"

Everyone began to push Xia Yu to play, and they were all looking forward to his performance other than his "perverted" behavior. Cheng Zhen had just recovered from the throbbing, and amidst their noise, his heartbeat began to arrhythmia again.

Xia Yu stood up and was about to go forward, walked halfway and then turned back, holding Cheng Zhen's shoulder: "Come, come with me."

"Me?" Cheng Zhen's mind went blank, but his body obediently followed.

Xia Yu conveniently moved two chairs and placed them in front of the classroom, let him sit next to him, smiled at the audience, and sang "The Hawthorn Tree" in Russian.

"The singing is gently rippling on the water at dusk, and the factory in the twilight is shining in the distance..."

He squeezed Cheng Zhen's hand, nodded slightly, Cheng Zhen forgot to breathe, only saw his mouth moving, and there was a huge roar in his ears, and he didn't react until he finished the first stanza.

When he heard Xia Yu whisper "You can sing", he cleared his throat and sang the second verse with him in Russian, but Xia Yu changed the lyrics into Chinese:

The breeze blows constantly, under the dense hawthorn tree

Blown the hair of the young fitters and blacksmiths

Dense hawthorn tree with white flowers blooming

why should you be sad, thy lovely hawthorn

How close we are when we meet in the workshop during the day

But when we met at night, we were silent

They're brave and cute, all alike

Dear Hawthorn, I need your help

Which one is the bravest and cutest?

dear hawthorn, please tell