For the rest of his life

"No, I just suddenly feel that many things have not been resolved. It's very strange. Maybe it's because I can't remember anything, but you see, I still remember. I'm Gong."

Stop talking... Lu Qiong rubbed her temples, thinking why she had such a headache.

"You tell me, and I remember everything." Xu Chenmu lowered his body to pick up the pieces, but was stopped by Lu Qiong. He found a rag to put the pieces together, and swept the floor. A lot of crumbs have not been swept up, but I have tried my best.

Lu Qiong packed up the pieces and placed them at the door. A warning was written on the outside, telling the garbage collectors that the broken glass inside would scratch their fingers. Xu Chenmu looked at it and felt that the scene seemed very familiar , tilting her head to watch her doing this gentle thing here, knowing her intentions in her heart, and following this tenderness, turned all her enthusiasm into soft spring water, rubbing her hands Look at her, she grinned wildly, but closed her mouth when Lu Qiong turned her head abruptly, to be more reserved.He didn't even brush his teeth, for fear that Lu Qiong would see that he was out of shape.

"Go and wash up, there is a guest looking for you today." Lu Qiong clapped her hands, breathed a sigh of relief, and avoided the request to tell her everything, put her hands on Xu Chenmu's shoulders, and pushed all the way to the bathroom.

"I still have guests?"

"Yes."

"Then do they know that I have amnesia?"

"I know, don't worry." After pushing her in, Lu Qiong unscrewed the water and washed her hands. She was no longer interested in letting Xu Chenmu guess which one was her mouthwash cup. She pointed and did all the normative guidance , turned around and walked out, feeling extremely anxious.

But she suddenly felt that she had abandoned Xu Chenmu in this way, leaving her alone in a closed space, thinking that she remembered everything, but the door behind her was closed and tightly closed In fact, nothing came out except the sound, and she was touched by the loneliness of her isolation.

Secretly opened a small slit, and looked at Xu Chenmu quietly in the slit. The man was brushing his teeth in front of the mirror, brushing his teeth like shoe uppers. She thought, Xu Chenmu must have bad teeth when he gets old. When I get old, I can only wear dentures, and I can’t eat any hard things, such as candied haws, fried broad beans, and popsicles. I can’t eat these things that can only be eaten with good teeth. At that time, I will eat by myself. Yes, just hand it over to let her smell it.

I was amused by my own imagination, as if I had poured cold water on her, and a sense of desolation like smoke rose up in my heart. This desolation lingered, breaking through the happy mood I had just now, and the corners of my lips no longer had that upward arc , standing quietly at the door, looking at Xu Chenmu through a thread.

Can they grow old?I didn't even believe the promise of the square dance, so I imagined it for someone to see.

"Lu Qiong, you peeked at me, I saw you." Xu Chenmu said vaguely, spit out a mouthful of toothpaste, "I saw it in the mirror, and you still laughed, and I didn't come to my aunt to tell you Blood test leaked on pants."

"..." What does it have to do with my aunt? Lu Qiong remained silent and did not respond to her.

"You pretended not to hear."

"There is something behind your butt." Lu Qiong said lightly, then turned her head and started to pack her things back to her new house in the suburbs. There, she will welcome a couple from Xu Chenmu's past days, Xu Chenmu's Enthusiastic givers, this kind-hearted couple and a child with a low IQ welcome their parents who are worried about their future. Their roster is filled with the names of their favorite blind dates, and I have to overcome my deep guilt towards Xu Chenmu and my own avoidance, and desperately believe that I and Xu Chenmu have a future. Porcelain double reeds frighten young people, eat them by themselves, and quarrel together when they are old, you are not afraid of quarrels, people with the same world outlook and values ​​will always get along well.

With this boundless consideration, she silently packed her things, and found a post-it note on the kitchen floor:

Lu Qiong likes pumpkin porridge.

I like pumpkin porridge and Lu Qiong.

Fold the post-it note in half and put it on the chest.Lu Qiong stretched her arms and opened the refrigerator door to take two bottles of drinks, then slammed the refrigerator door, biting her lower lip, not knowing what to do.

Xu Chenmu was left alone holding his toothbrush and turning around to see if his aunt's side was really leaking blood from behind his buttocks. When did auntie visit?How could she remember that it wasn't this time?Turning around for a long time as if chasing a dog biting her own tail, her face flushed, Lu Qiong actually teased her.

It's just that Lu Qiong's face doesn't look like the kind of person who can make jokes anyway. To be teased like this is like discovering a touch of green in winter, which is extremely enviable and surprising. She looked at it in the mirror Himself, I looked at myself with a silly smile.

Lu Qiong called her name outside, and Xu Chenmu who responded, poked his head over, Lu Qiong had already cleaned up.It regained that quiet, elegant and gentle appearance, standing upright like a pine tree.

She looked at Lu Qiong from a distance as if she was looking at herself from a distance, as if seeing Lu Qiong for the first time again through the vast sea of ​​people through time and space. It was as if the surroundings had turned into black in a trance, so pure that it was more fragile than white. On the rushing river, there was a heart-warming cold fragrance faintly on Lu Qiong's neck.

Why is she there?Why did Lu Qiong appear there?What causes two rivers from different sources to come together?

I vaguely feel that it has something to do with the destination where Lu Qiong packed up and set off. I have an inexplicable intuition. Once I think of it, my blood is full of unknown tenderness and nostalgia, like missing an elder I haven’t seen for a long time, but I can only Looking at that face in the black-and-white photo, my heart sank down and floated up gently, accompanied by long breaths, one after another, which brought the lingering love of this moment.

"Let's go."

"Go, where?"

"Go see your family."

really.At present, Xu Chenmu is complacent about his accurate and slightly secretive intuition. He is a family member. He is about to meet the second person besides Lu Qiong, but he doesn't remember anything. Will it be soon? It's abrupt. When she just washed her face, she was a little sloppy and perfunctory. Wouldn't it be rude to do so?What kind of family is she facing?Suddenly he was in a trance, blushing——

While following Lu Qiong's steps, he moved his legs in a trance, and was thrown in the bedroom to sit with a pile of clothes. While holding Lu Qiong's sleeves, he opened his mouth for a long time, not knowing what kind of joy he was expressing, and said : "Who am I going to see?"

"Your mother." Lu Qiong turned her back and waited for her to change clothes. Her voice was endless, and Xu Chenmu fell silent, which made her flustered. She was afraid that Xu Chenmu would recall some unpleasant memories. Under the cold and lonely bridge, seeing each other for the first time, it seems that there is a huge sadness in the chest.

That day was the day when Xu Chenmu's mother was buried. She refused the final treatment in the hospital and chose euthanasia. Xu Chenmu was still young and only a freshman in high school. She couldn't understand why a healthy person with no mental illness would choose Self kills life.

It was an image pieced together from Xu Chenmu's intermittent narration and fragmented memories afterwards. Lu Qiong had never seen her mother with her own eyes, so she could only know from this incomplete image that she was an extremely unruly woman. Among them is such a unique one.

At that time, Xu Chenmu couldn't understand why the maverick, unrestrained and casual mother refused the final rescue.

She said: "Sister, I feel so uncomfortable, I don't understand. Obviously I can live a few more days."

Unintentionally, he poked at his own weakness, obviously he could live a few more days.She and Xu Chenmu's mother both chose to end themselves, but one has ended, only the result has no antecedent, while she has only an antecedent, no result, and cause and effect are intertwined, which seems to be a superstitious statement, but she always feels like a kind of superstition. Traction, she wants to find the answer from Xu Chenmu.

"Probably, in order to live with more dignity, death is also a choice of oneself. It is more active than doing nothing and letting the god of death take away life, so, it is more dignified..." At that time, Lu Qiong said Explaining, I realized that I said something like this in a panic, what I have insisted on until now, life or death, must be carried out with dignity.

"That's it," Xu Chenmu sat there with his knees folded, looked up, then at Lu Qiong, pursed his lips, and said a lot about her mother one after another.

Xu Chenmu's mother in her teenage years was with her father and had her.The boy panicked, refused to admit it, and ran away. The girl's family felt that it was a shame and asked her to get rid of it, but after thinking about it for a long time, she sneaked out of the house and left Xu Chenmu behind, taking her surname as her own.

On the night train, I went to a distant place alone with my slightly bulging stomach.

Lu Qiong firmly believed that he did not have such courage.

But if it was Xu Chenmu, he should be able to do it.

Xu Chenmu never went to elementary school.When I was young, I went out to travel freely, saw many things, met many friends, and my mother was responsible for the basic homework. I left her in the bookstore for the rest of the content. Books, she went home together with a basket of vegetables.

That was Xu Chenmu's life.

Going to junior high school is a big problem.

Everyone said, your child has aura, go to art school, maybe he will become a star in the future!But Xu's mother looked at her child's small freckles and big forehead, sighed, looked around for connections, and threw him into a notorious junior high school.