cloud fall wind smoke

This time, I really fell in love.

I stopped contacting Fengli, and told him not to contact me again. The love that dragged on would only increase the ugly result. If we don't see each other again, it will be easier for everyone.I said this to him, and I also said it to myself.

It’s okay when you’re working during the day, at least you won’t look so lonely when you’re alone in the crowd; when you get home at night, being alone and lonely makes the small room look empty.

I always miss you so much inadvertently

This feeling is such nostalgia and obsession

For a moment, people forget about time and heaven and earth

All I think about is the beautiful one

Undercurrents in the bottom of my heart

deep rise

……

It's not that I never thought about hating you

I hate why you always like

put everything

carry on their own shoulders

i hate why you like me so much

made me fall in love with you

……

For you my heart is like

a sponge that never dries

clear water

deeply filled with

light touch

will accidentally flow out

full of love

Where can I let go of my hatred?

In just one month, my whole body seemed to be in an endless abyss, wandering aimlessly and endlessly, going to work, leaving get off work, and coming back in a daze every day.

Until today, during lunch, I overheard a colleague mentioning that the online game I played before was about to open a new version.

"Yes, I can log in to the game to take a look, maybe I can meet pineapple, even if I just go and take a look." I thought to myself, feeling inexplicably happy, "Yes, I just go and take a look, even if I meet , I won't say anything."

I worked hard on the work at hand, and wanted to go home early and log in to the game.That was probably my hardest afternoon during that time. My colleagues had some complaints about my abnormal behavior, but I just smiled at them.Because compared to being able to see Fengli, or getting news about him, these are nothing.

But unexpectedly, something happened to the company that day, and all the people on the job were recruited to help in a certain project.Even me, a small employee who almost never worked overtime, was forced to work overtime.

When I got off work, it started to rain heavily.I had an urgent thought in my heart, and I was anxious to go home. After leaving the company, I hurriedly took a taxi, and kept urging "Master, hurry up! Faster!" along the way.

When the car arrived at the street in front of our house, there was a row of traffic jams, and there was no movement. Although I didn't bring rain gear, I didn't care so much. I hurriedly paid the fare and ran in the heavy rain.Before entering the community, my whole body was already soaked.

After entering the building door, I didn't have time to wait for the elevator, so I ran upstairs from the safe passage in one breath, rushed into the room to turn on the computer, tapped the keyboard quickly, and logged into the game.

When I opened the friend list, Pineapple just went offline, and the offline time showed 1 minute ago.

Only then did I slump on the swivel chair all of a sudden, tears and rain mixed together in an instant.

And at this moment, an instant message notification sound suddenly came from the game.

I thought it was a pineapple, so I quickly wiped my eyes and sat back in front of the computer to check.The news I received was actually from Xiu Yue.

Xiu Yue: Sailing, is that you?

……

That night, Xiu Yue and I talked for a long time.It seemed that the emotions suppressed in my heart finally had a place to vent, and the words accumulated in my mouth finally had a place to pour out.I briefly told Xiu Yue what happened between me and Pineapple, he listened very carefully, paused, and comforted me from time to time.

"Sailing, life is a lifetime, morality is important, but there are some things, while there is still time, don't leave regrets for yourself." This is the last sentence that Xiu Yue said to me in the game voice that night, and I still remember it still fresh.

"Thank you, Xiu Yue!" I think I know what to do.

"Have you slept yet? I know you will be getting married early next month, so please forgive me for disturbing you. I want to see you. I will be in W City next week. I hope you can come. After next week, there will be no date.—— sailing"

"Okay, come on, I'll wait for you. - Pineapple"

In the past, Pineapple has visited my H city countless times, but I have never been to W city for various reasons.I have imagined the scene of coming to W City many times, but I never imagined that I would come here under such a situation.

"Long time no see, Archmage!" Very happy, I saw Pineapple again.

"Long time no see, my knight!" Obviously, Pineapple was also very happy to see me.

Fengli and I made an agreement that we will not talk about the past in these seven days, regardless of the future, but just live in the present with peace of mind. After seven days, we will not owe each other, and we will never see each other again.

On the [-]th, Fengli was my tour guide. We visited all kinds of famous scenic spots in W City. Every scenic spot made me feel shocked and intoxicated. I am very happy to know that there are such beautiful places in the world. The beauty is so pure , The beauty is simple.Of course, there is always the most beautiful pineapple beside me, which is always the most beautiful in my eyes.

The night market of W City, the moat of W City, and the first building of W City, day and night, almost every place left us.We played happily, ate and drank to our heart's content, and had fun vigorously. It seemed that for a few moments, we all forgot the unhappiness that shouldn't happen.Seven days finally passed by.

At the beginning of the night, we embraced each other and slept, and at the end of the night, we embraced each other without sleep.

Do you want to see clearly the person in front of you, or do you want to see clearly the emotions accumulated over the years.

I thought I did all this to forget it well, but I can't put it down now.

Thinking that after dawn, you and I will return to our own worlds from now on, without any relationship or entanglement, my heart is so turbulent, and I will burn inside.But there is still no expression on my face, I look at you and smile at you calmly.

Because, I don't want you to feel indebted to me, and I don't want you to miss me as much as before.I just want you to live a good life, I think I still love you...

"pineapple

The ship has been moored for ten years without sailing far,

Midsummer Guangnian was carrying a bag.

In the deep night, where the river of love is sung,

The singing and dancing of the phoenix and the singing of the rising sun.

Holding the pear blossoms in your hands, the heart is fragrant,

Riyong Mixiang grows and fades on its own.

When sailing far away and breaking the waves,

Yunjuan Yunshu complained from the bottom of his heart.

— sailing”

That was the first time in my life, and the only time, to write a poem for my most beloved person.

When we parted, Fengli also gave me a letter written by him. I didn't dare to open it right away, for I was afraid that if I opened it, I wouldn't be able to leave.So, I only asked Fengli to take me to the airport, and hurried him to leave.He's attached to me and I'm not, but there's nothing else I can do and I end up yelling at him, "I don't want to see you again! I hate you! Get out of here!"

It was only later that I realized, "I don't want to see you again", I actually said it to myself. Maybe if I didn't say it like this at the time, I'm afraid I won't be able to distinguish my independent self again.

——Unfinished, to be continued——