【Taizhong】Fake Orthopedics

*BGM: GroovyRoom/Blue.D/Jhnovr-??(ThisNight)

It is not easy to find a hotel in the downtown area. Osamu Dazai followed me into the hotel. He should be looking at me, because my back felt a burning pain from being stared at. I and the receptionist at the front desk I asked for a room. Of course, I couldn’t have made an appointment in advance. The receptionist told me that the rest of the rooms that I could stay in directly were only standard double rooms, and there were no double rooms. I didn’t look back. I nodded and decided to reserve the room. Swipe the card to pay the bill, and then took out a banknote from the wallet as a deposit for the room card, took the room card and walked upstairs with Osamu Dazai. Had to use the not-so-spacious stairwell.The act of opening a hotel room was beyond my expectations. Of course, it is impossible to prepare items such as a change of clothes. The only thing I carry with me is a briefcase. It is not heavy to carry, and it is not difficult to walk up the stairs.

About 20 minutes ago, Osamu Dazai asked me why I was here at the intersection, and I wanted to throw this question back to him.I did open my mouth to ask back, but I don't know if he wanted to deliberately ignore the meeting with Mr. Mori. He smiled again and answered my question in another way.

"I don't want to go home today." Osamu Dazai said, making a good excuse for himself, "...I might be in the rebellious period."

Osamu Dazai speaks human words when he sees people, and I know the ability to talk nonsense when he sees it. He probably doesn't regard me as a human being, so he evades his unexplainable actions so vaguely. I shook my head and told him clearly, I won't let him stay at my house tonight. When I said this, I subconsciously cast my gaze behind him in the French window of the coffee shop. Mori Ogai's figure had disappeared at some point, perhaps already in the I left without noticing.

What exactly did Osamu Dazai and Ogai Mori say, and how much did the gentle neighbor know about my brother and I's heavy, unspeakable crimes.When I think about it, I feel like I'm going crazy.What's more crazy, I still have a way out, which is to hide from my parents, end the entangled relationship with Osamu Dazai as soon as possible, and then return to the original way of getting along with the family. Although it is difficult, it is indeed The most ideal way.

Why can't I hold the phone steadily? I knew how accurate my mother's intuition is—it may be easy to hide this crime in front of my father, but my mother will find out after all. If I firmly deny my mother at that time If it is, will it not cut off my escape route?But I didn't do it, the phone fell to the ground and the screen was broken, and it couldn't be turned on temporarily, and I couldn't even make a call back.I am sure that my mother confirmed her suspicion when the call was cut off suddenly. If she dials my mobile phone again, she will only find that my mobile phone is turned off, thinking that I am guilty.My mother might also go crazy. This woman is strong but also fragile. If she scolds me hysterically and pushes me, I don't think I can bear it.Half of my personality is inherited from her. I want to be strong, but I can't resist my fragility.Looking at the broken screen of my phone, I felt like I was made of this kind of tempered glass, which usually has a good resistance to pressure, but under certain circumstances, I would be killed with one blow, and my lifespan had expired.

It’s not just Osamu Dazai who doesn’t want to go home, I don’t want to go home either. I’m afraid of seeing my mother again, and I’m also afraid of going back to the apartment alone. In contrast, being with Osamu Dazai may be my last means of escape.Osamu Dazai and I went upstairs, swiped our room card and walked into the standard double room of the hotel, groped to get on the mattress, and then indulged in the heat enough to pull my soul out of any thinking.He makes me tortured, but he can also make me feel temporarily redeemed, conflicting and contradictory.

Afterwards, Osamu Dazai went to the bathroom to take a shower first. I lay on the bed and covered my eyes with my arms to block the light in the room. After washing his feet, when he walked out of the bathroom, Osamu Dazai had already turned off the headlights in the room, and there was a mineral water bottle on the bedside table where he fell asleep, and he drank half of it.

I approached him and kissed him, but Osamu Dazai didn't move, as if he was asleep.I tasted a bit of bitterness between his lips, but it was moist, maybe it was because he drank half a bottle of water.He is fast asleep, I'm so sure, because Osamu Dazai didn't respond to my kiss, his breathing was almost even, but maybe he was dreaming, and occasionally his breathing would stop for a second.I got off the edge of the bed and opened his schoolbag.

There are textbooks and a few signature pens in it. He doesn’t use a pen case, and the water-based signature pens lie horizontally at the bottom of the schoolbag. There is a bulging plastic bag behind the textbooks. I carefully pulled the plastic bag out of his bag. , and carefully opened the knot tied at the mouth of the plastic bag. There were several cartons containing medicines inside. The words written on the medicine boxes were familiar. The sleeping pills I took in the psychiatric clinic were also named after this.One box had been opened, and there were five empty half-holes on the medicine plate that were crushed after the tablets were pressed out, obviously exceeding the normal dose.Dazai Osamu's sleeping appearance is excellent, and he won't even turn over the whole night after falling asleep. There is a slight bitter taste on his lips, and the answers to these secrets are here.

I tied up the plastic bag again, stuffed it back into his schoolbag, took out Osamu Dazai's mobile phone from the inner pocket of his schoolbag, and walked out of the room lightly, walking a little farther.There is a storage room on this floor of the hotel. The storage room is full of washed, dried and sterilized towels. The light in the storage room is off, but the door is only ajar. Someone would come here, so he boldly grabbed Osamu Dazai's phone and walked into the storage room, turned on the light switch on the wall, and turned on the pale LED lights without shades hanging from the ceiling of the storage room.

Osamu Dazai's cell phone was turned off by him at some point. I pressed and held the button on the side of the cell phone and waited for the cell phone to turn on. The carrier's prompt popped up and turned off the second second. There were a lot of missed calls and unread text messages. It's like a tide coming up - the last text message was 3 minutes ago.

"Please tell me where you are, Dazai."

Such a low profile seems familiar. Not long ago, I begged Osamu Dazai just like her, begging him to let me go.I felt short of breath for a moment, it was obviously just this short line of text, the appearance of my mother who was alone at home waiting for her stepson who would not come home and was not her own, and almost collapsed appeared in my mind. The air is taken from around me.I should understand that no matter how hard I grab the straw of my choice to escape, I will still fall into the abyss.I still remember a statement I read before that the collapse of people who are no longer young in society is very quiet. To avoid disturbing others, maybe even the tears will be quiet, and large and large clear liquid will fall from the middle of the eyes.

But I didn't cry, I was calmer than I thought.I was pinching the phone, and the number that Osamu Dazai had remarked to my mother was her full name. I looked at her name and thought of the beautiful nightmares I had before. If those dreams were not dreams, but Really good.Osamu Dazai kills me, I kill him too, and we get out of here together.

I dialed my mother's number, and the phone was picked up after only one beep. Before my mother called Osamu Dazai's name, I called her first.This address for mother, which I have never used since I became sensible, stumbled when I spit it out from my throat.

I call her.

"Mother."

A large sum of money was injected into my account. Even the vagrant nits can use this money to live a luxurious and good life for half a year. I returned the rental of the apartment and was told by the housing agent The rental period is too short and the deposit cannot be refunded to me.When I submitted my resignation letter to the minister, the stingy old man also told me in the same tone, because I resigned voluntarily, it is impossible to give me compensation.I told him that I knew, I didn't want anything, I packed up my personal belongings in the office, and cleaned up everything that should be dealt with. I left the company, left the apartment, and went to the villa by the sea.I used to come here with my father's car. In fact, I didn't even know the exact address of the villa. I took the train or bus, and I used my memory to find it like a blind person. I finally arrived at the destination after dark.The house is very empty, maybe because I don’t live there often, and it’s not very popular. I always feel that the house is very gloomy when I’m alone in this villa at night. Fortunately, it’s summer and the temperature is relatively high. If I come here in winter, it’s probably a Can't sleep.

I didn't bring anything with me, and I didn't eat anything on the way. It's just strange that I didn't feel hungry at all, just sleepy.The guest room of the villa is the room where I slept when we came here. I opened the door of the second bedroom and found a clean four-piece bedding set from the cabinet. After I made the bed, I took a brief shower and buried myself. He got into bed, closed his eyes and fell asleep soon after.

I made a deal with my mother.She's so smart, I don't need to explain everything, she kind of guessed what happened between Osamu Dazai and me, she said on the other end of the phone, she felt weird when she knew that Dazai was going to sleep with me two days ago Well, she didn't ask at that time, but now that she regrets it, she should have forced her to tell her everything frankly.She also said that my father must not know about this matter, and she will send me a large sum of money to live in this beach house far away from Yokohama, so that Dazai can be isolated from me, and wait until Osamu Dazai is admitted to university, or it may take a little longer. I will go back after Osamu Dazai enters university and has a formal relationship with a docile and pleasant girl.

Obviously when Osamu Dazai slept with me for the first time, I wanted to avoid him, but now when I really want to do this, I feel a little bit reluctant, but I have to admit that the content of my mother's transaction is so reasonable that I can't bear it. Said it was perfect, I agreed to her, sent it to the boss the next day, and arrived here on the third day.The sleeping pills prescribed by the psychiatrist did not help, because from the moment I arrived at this beach house, I seemed to be possessed by the demon god in charge of sleep, accompanied by the moonlight and the sea breeze, and slept in a dim light, as if to The sleep of the rest of my life is also overdrawn.

I even have trouble eating and drinking.My stomach was growling so loudly that I finally took my wallet and bank card, put on my messy hair, put on a loose cotton short-sleeved shirt and trousers, and walked in flip flops. In the hot and humid wind on the seashore, I went to a small private supermarket nearby to buy food. I bought two boxes of cup noodles. After I moved back and opened the boxes, I found that I seemed to have bought this flavor of cup noodles last month.But the cup noodles I bought at the convenience store did not enter my stomach, but was eaten by Osamu Dazai.

Only after I left him did I realize that the face of Osamu Dazai would always appear in front of my eyes, in my sleep and in my hallucinations.But I used to always hear Dazai Osamu's voice in my dreams, but now I can't hear him very much.I suspect that I have been sleeping for a long time, and even I have forgotten the way of speaking and how to use my hearing. It is understandable.I fell asleep, let myself continue this peaceful sleep, sinking into the sea, falling continuously, I couldn't hear, I couldn't see, I just fell asleep.I had that dream again one night—I realized later that it was not a dream, but my memory, which appeared like a revolving lantern when it appeared in the dream.

On that Saturday evening, Osamu Dazai squatted in front of me, held my hand tightly, and interlocked my fingers, as if pouring out all his love to me.He said, I just want you, brother.Then this memory is pressed to pause, then rewinds and plays again.He said, I just want you, brother.Do it again, play it in a loop, the inescapable curse, gradually deformed, I can't see Dazai clearly, I can't see his lips, I can't see his fingers, I can't see his beautiful, let me Fascinated pupil.

He called me one last time.

"elder brother."

I woke up from a dream that was copied from my memory, I don't know the time, I don't know the date, maybe I slept through the summer and entered the autumn, I don't know for sure, if not, why do I feel so cold Woolen cloth.

Before I had time to tighten the quilt, I curled myself into a smaller ball under the quilt. I seemed to receive some strange sound in my ears. It took me a long time to recognize what it was—it was someone The sound of knocking on the door of the villa.There is no doorbell installed in the villa, and no one should come to find someone who does not exist in this unoccupied house.But now I hear a knock on the door.

Who is knocking on the door?