touch the back of the unknown

Extra Story——Yan Wu's world is a little gray, and then a little blue, and then it is overwhelming darkness, and then it is gray and log-colored, and it is warmer with light.

Yan Wu is gay, gay, do you know that?It's gay, Yan Wu likes men, he didn't realize it until junior high school.

By the time he realized it was too late, along with his sexual orientation came his first love.

He Yi miraculously fell in love with Yan Wu's liking. Yan Wu really liked Rejoice and Head & Shoulders, the fresh white shirt. It was a little sunny that day, and the breeze was blowing. Shen Yu smiled at him, and Yan Wu was brilliant ——He was directly hit in the heart, Yan Wu is from Aries, so he was locked in the sheepfold by Shen Yu of Virgo, and he was willing.

In fact, that day during the spring outing, Shen Yu didn't smile at him at all, but Shen Yu was in a good mood that day, looking at the blue sky in the distance, he couldn't help laughing, but he didn't expect to win Yan Wu's heart away.

Yan Wu's family has a strict father and a loving mother. Yan's father is a civil servant and works in an out-of-town town.

Yan Wu is a relatively cheerful person, he also likes to exercise, and his grades are average, but he can be admitted to No. [-] Middle School in this county.Yan Wu often runs and plays ball, and his appearance is inherited from his father. The strange thing is that usually men follow their mother and daughter follow their father, but Yan Wu looks completely different from his delicate mother, unlike He Yi who really looks like his mother. Split image.

Yan Wu’s popularity is good, he has a few friends, but few of them got into No. [-] Middle School, and they all have poor grades, but Yan Wu has a good personality, he can get along well in the new class, and his grades are decent. , it stands to reason that there is nothing worthy of his anxiety.

But this puberty, that is, the heart of a teenager, is all tied to another person.

Who, needless to say, is Shen Yu.

Yan Wu has secretly admired Shen Yu for three years in junior high school. Shen Yu's character in junior high school is not that bad. He is also a Chinese class representative. Wearing a white shirt is really literary and artistic. Many girls like him, and his grades are good. Good family background is good, really, there is no choice, perfect male god, girls think of him in their dreams, and so does Yan Wu.

After going to high school, they are no longer in the same class. Yan Wu still has nothing to do to find Shen Yu, but during the summer vacation, Shen Yu's parents divorced, and Shen Yu followed his rich father, and his father remarried a , Yo, the sons are all the same age as Shen Yu.

Shen Yu's mother also found one in lightning speed. It turned out that the two had been dating outside for a long time, but because Shen Yu was relatively young and did not leave, when Shen Yu went to high school, the two finally confessed.

Shen Yu's parents rushed to ask for Shen Yu, and Shen Yu said that he told his father that because Shen Yu's mother married out of town, Shen Yu didn't want to leave this small county, even though this little backward county is much worse than the big city.Shen Yu's father newly married the one with a son, and his conduct was considered good, and he treated Shen Yu well. That son went to school in other places, stayed at the hotel, and only came back once a week. Seeing Shen Yu timidly calling "Brother", Shen Yu reluctantly Smile back.

So Shen Yu's personality changed drastically after the summer vacation, but on the surface it didn't look real, and the superficial skills he should do were still in place, but he would explode when something he couldn't bear, such as the matter of Yan Wu.

It was indeed a coincidence that Yan Wu met He Yi. The first time he saw He Yi, he felt that this person was a bit like a gentle and refined scholar. He really felt that He Yi had such a literary taste. He thought that this person There must be a lot of books to read.

But the occasional smile that appeared on He Yi's face made him feel terrified.At this time, he felt that He Yi was like a wolf, lurking under the bright moon, waiting for an opportunity to move, or ready to move.

After school that day, he saw He Yi's back, as if he could recognize him in the crowd at a glance, and then he patted He Yi's shoulder. At that moment, Yan Wu felt that time seemed to stand still, like a movie.

When he parted from He Yi at the school gate, he felt that the bad mood caused by being ridiculed by Shen Yu today was swept away.

He thinks He Yi is a friend he can make.

The strange thing is that He Yi doesn't seem to have many friends. Yan Wu occasionally went to He Yi's class to find him, and then told him about the funny things that happened in their class, and He Yi listened quietly.

What made him a little frustrated was that He Yi never took the initiative to find him.

Until Shen Yu knew that Yan Wu was kissing him secretly in the classroom, then Shen Yu became angry, scolded him directly near the classroom, and then found a few people.

Yan Wu was a little confused, and he didn't forget to fight back when he was beaten, but he was a little confused.

Then his father rushed back from another town, knowing what he had caused, he slapped him directly.

It was still in the hospital, he slapped half of his face swollen up, new and old wounds were mixed together, Yan Wu felt that the disdainful and contemptuous look that Shen Yu had not given him made him uncomfortable.

Then he lay down in the hospital until the winter vacation was about to start. Those people attacked very cruelly, but Yan Wu also used dirty tricks, and he didn't lose.

He even tried to contact Shen Yu with the cheek to apologize to him, but Shen Yu ignored him.

Until that night Shen Yu told him coldly on the phone that he had a girlfriend and told Yan Wu not to bother him anymore.

Yan Wu was stunned for a moment, then mechanically replied yes.

And then he hung up the phone and felt the whole world shake and he felt nauseous and then he couldn't control himself at all and he went downstairs and he wanted to run in the dark laughing at his stupid behavior like a fool and then He saw He Yi in the corridor.

He Yi stood there quietly, not bent like before, he stood very straight, looking at Yan Wu calmly.

Yan Wu wanted to cry at that moment, but he held back.

He was afraid of seeing the same eyes as Shen Yu's, his father's, and his teacher's eyes in He Yi's eyes.

Yan Wu turned his head and rushed towards the darkness outside the building.

Let me drown in it.

When Yan Wu was overwhelmed by the overwhelming darkness, he thought so.

It would be great if he could drown in it. There was nothing left, including Shen Yu.

On the first day of the winter vacation, Yan Wu quarreled with his father again. His father did not hold back his contempt for homosexuality, and then slammed the door and left.

Yan Wu locked himself in the room, there was a photo in the room, sandwiched in the interlayer of the bookcase, it was the profile of a boy, the sun outlined the outline of Shen Yu, like a god, so beautiful, so warm , so untouchable, sacred and touching, Yan Wu secretly took this photo with his camera one afternoon in the sports meeting of the second year of junior high school.

Yan Wu didn't know that more than a year later, in his bedroom, Yan Wu was standing in front of the bookcase, staring, thinking about that photo, while He Yi was sitting on the floor by the wall, looking at Yan Wu's profile. The face has the same feeling as that of Yan Wu at that time.

It’s just that after taking this photo, Yan Wu felt anxious and uneasy and had some sweetness unique to teenagers. It was a little shyness of a young boy’s heart towards his sweetheart, and his longing for a better future, even though it will be completely shattered in the near future. .

And He Yi left only old and decayed decay after the light in his heart faded. It was true and cruel to the point of despair, but after a long or not long period of time, the bright sunshine ushered in.

Where there is light, there must be shadow.But where there is shadow, there must be light.If you have seen all darkness, there must also be all light.

And after I have seen the light, I will also usher in darkness.

The songs played by the two people are completely different, but they can echo each other.

He Yi once read a passage in a book.

"All my conceit comes from my low self-esteem, and all my heroism comes from my weakness. I speak plausibly because my heart is full of doubts, and I am affectionate because I hate myself for being ruthless. Nothing in this world is born in vain , Standing in the light, there will be shadows behind, the silence in the middle of the night is because you haven't heard the sound yet.

——Ma Liang's "Confession"