january love

47

Decide

He looked down and saw the razor that fell under his feet, and slowly bent down to pick it up and hold it in his hand for a moment, his drunken head was muddled, but suddenly a bold idea popped up.

Duanmulian was a little dizzy before his eyes, and he made several slits before removing the blade. Looking at the crimson dripping in front of his eyes, he felt a pleasant sense of relief. His heartbeat accelerated and his breathing became rapid. The panting diffused, like a poisonous miasma hidden in the air, arousing an unknown impulse.

He tentatively drew a long and thin bloodstain on his wrist uncontrollably, watching the blood dripping finely and splashing beautiful flowers on the floor tiles, Duanmulian couldn't help laughing in a low voice that he didn't understand With a sound, like a puppet driven by a demon, he tried his best to pry open that fragile skin.

It hurts, it hurts, but the physical pain is no match for the desire to be freed. His mind was slightly drunk and he couldn't see the bloody scar clearly, and he tortured this soulless shell more and more.

After a while of madness, he could not even hold the blade with trembling hands, feeling his body was cold and wanted to seek comfort, Duanmulian staggered to the bathtub and turned on the water valve, tremblingly curled himself up to meet the embrace of death.

The hot water slowly rises and infiltrates the cold body, pouring into the bleeding wound as comfortable as being lightly touched, Duanmulian relaxes every nerve and feels the consciousness being slowly withdrawn, feeling that in the past few months, only This is the moment when I truly feel alive.

He closed his eyes and slightly raised the corners of his mouth, sighing into the air and expressing the greatest regret in his life, "I'm sorry for not being able to accompany you, Ye Qing."

I do not know how long it has been.

The endless darkness cuts off all sound and light, deprived of all senses, like a wandering without a return date, but Duanmulian's instinctive reaching out and touching found nothing, and suddenly he was afraid of something reliable that appeared unconsciously in his mind. figure.

Feeling his hand being grasped tightly, the familiar temperature permeating into his skin calmed him a little, but he couldn't make a sound when he wanted to speak. He tried hard to confirm where he was, but it was still in vain, but gradually became clear. His senses told him that the person he was thinking of was by his side, the air was filled with the smell of disinfectant, the familiar voice in his ears seemed to come from an unreachable distance, but the touch from his fingers was so clear.

Duanmulian tried his best to open his eyes, the white ceiling was imprinted in his vision, which made him feel like a world away, he blinked in confusion, and saw Ye Qing's blurred face also looking at him, man Throwing down the alarm bell in his hand, he put his hand lightly on the back of Duanmulian's cold hand.

Then several doctors in white coats came, Duanmulian realized that he was in the hospital, and slowly recalled the reason why he came here, he was a little surprised and wanted to sit up, but his whole body was limp and unable to exert any strength, Duanmulian's first reaction was that he was afraid that the man would get angry because of this, so he unconsciously pursed his lips and looked away.

Ye Qing caressed the bangs on his forehead, and saw that he finally let go of a stone in his heart when he woke up, but he frowned and said nothing, thinking that the little guy turned his eyes away because he didn't want to see him, he looked at the little guy For the first time, with a bloodless face, he regretted what he had done.

Because he had to stay in the hospital for observation for a few days, Ye Qing simply didn't go to work, and he relied on the phone to contact him. He stayed with Duanmulian in the hospital, not only because he was afraid that this guy would do stupid things again, but also because he wanted to give He feels more secure.

After Ye Qing's deep introspection, he felt that he was not a qualified psychologist. He could read people's hearts and understand the inconsistency of the world. He knew who was deep and who was not sharp in the people around him, so he could strategize in the workplace. , All the plans are exhaustive, but only in the matter of feelings, they fail.

He fell on a little guy who could be seen through at a glance. This kid was too pure and kind. When he first got in touch with him, he just wanted to bully this simple guy. He expected that he would suffer a lot in this filthy workplace. It was only later that I realized that this guy who loves painting has been deviated from his dream. For some reason, he, who never meddles in other things, has a desire to protect him, and he feels sorry for this respectful and timid child. He was tricked into going home to enjoy some exclusive taste... Later, too many unpleasant things happened, and when he knew that there was someone with a pair of eyes coveting him, he finally became angry, and he knew that he had committed an addiction Made a mess again, took people home but found that they couldn't return to the life they wanted.

Ye Qing thought about it thousands of times during Duanmulian's coma, what was the reason that made this child want to seek death, now he finally understands, he actually knew the answer a long time ago, but was blinded by blind paranoia, that guy has an easy-going personality But he is stubborn in matters of principle, he only agrees with the exchange of equal value and reciprocity, blindly treating this guy well will only increase his unrest in his heart, why did he not react until now when he already understood clearly when he was working with him come over……

Ye Qing looked at the thick bandages on Duanmulian's wrists and felt palpitations, he personally sent people astray, now he doesn't intend to ask for forgiveness, just hope that guy doesn't hate him too much.

Ye Qing took care of Duanmulian in every possible way, and the other party cooperated obediently. He had never cared so much for a person, but now he was willing to put all his patience into it. He thought that he had become an evil perpetrator in the eyes of the other party. Unexpectedly, this guy took his hand and said cautiously, "Please don't be angry."

Ye Qing is really angry at times that this guy never puts himself first, how can a person be willing to let go of his protection even though he is suffering unspeakable pain? his hand.

After a few days of recovery, Duanmulian still maintained a nonchalant attitude, afraid that Ye Qing was too good to him but could not repay him, and also afraid that what he did not do enough would make Ye Qing angry, he began to worry about gains and losses, like a man who survived a catastrophe child.

Ye Qing saw all his little actions, and the feeling of knowing the problem but being unable to change the status quo made him feel terrible. He tried his best to make Duanmulian accept him, but the other party just didn't do anything.

Ye Qing took that guy back home, Duanmulian sat on the bed obediently and waited for his hair to fall, Ye Qing stepped forward and gently kissed his pale lips that were almost transparent, after a simple lingering, he held the other's lips He met his face and looked at him, wanting to have a good talk with this guy.

Duanmulian looked at the handsome face that was very close to him, this mature and stable man had his shadow in his eyes, but he showed such a sad expression, he had never seen Ye Qing take off his mask completely , Seeing the originally cold man suddenly and frankly showing his vulnerable side, he knew that he was the one who caused the trouble, and he felt very uncomfortable with mixed feelings.