Bear Diary

Sunday, March 2010, 12

Probably Ben also saw that the meeting with Serena was not going well this time, so he kept looking for something to chat with me on the way back to the hotel.And I just lay on the car window, blowing the cold wind, and seldom spoke. When I arrived at the hotel, my face was already numb from the wind.I declined Ben's offer to invite me to dinner, and went back to the room alone.

Lying on the bed, my mind was in a mess like a bag of paste.I really can't think of any reason for Serena to be so resolute except for the threat from my father.Knowing Lina's family background in London, I might be able to force myself to make a case for this, but I really don't want to.

I was too optimistic before, foolishly and naively thinking that as long as I find Serena and tell him that I have abandoned those fetters, he will immediately change his mind and come back to me.Therefore, seeing Serena still unwilling to look back, I was actually extremely disappointed and shocked.So much so that I insisted on continuing to say my self-righteous words, and I didn't even respond to hearing that they were going to get engaged next month, or I couldn't react otherwise.

Why am I desperate to come here?Should I really not insist on it?Maybe I'm not as important to Serena as I imagined?Maybe all of this should have ended, it's just my paranoia...

Consciousness gradually blurred, I don't know when I just fell asleep like this.Maybe it's because I've been too tired recently, I'm really tired, I really need to take a break...

I didn't wake up until someone knocked on the door. I felt cold and hungry. When I opened the door, it was Ben.He was startled when he saw me wrapped in a blanket, with red nose and eyes, and asked me if I was okay.I said I should be fine. I accidentally fell asleep when I came back in the afternoon. I might have caught a cold. I'll just buy some medicine tomorrow. Ben asked me again if I had eaten, but I still shook my head.

He made me wait and ran away.After a while, he came back with cold medicine and a bowl of steaming soup.I was very embarrassed, but Ben said that they are all descendants of the Yellow Emperor, and that they should take care of each other when they are away from home. The medicine is already there, and the soup is made by his mother for dinner. They are all ready-made.

Although I have no appetite, I still feel very warm holding this bowl of hot soup. Only then did Ben cautiously ask me about the situation in the afternoon. I didn't want to go into details, but I just said it wasn't very good. Ben was silent for a while, and handed over a note, which was given by Lina before she left, with her phone number written on it.I took it and said thank you. Ben asked me what my future plans were, and I said that I might stay for two days before returning home.He slapped his thigh and said that he would take me out to play tomorrow, and it was rare for me to come here, it would not be worthwhile if I didn't have fun.I wanted to refuse on the spot, but I felt that this was not good, so I just said that I will see it when the time comes.In the end, Ben seemed to think that I had agreed. He told me to take a good rest, and said that it would not be too early tomorrow, and he would call me when the time came.

Ben is really a nice guy, but his enthusiasm is a bit too much, hehe.But I like such enthusiastic people very much.

At night I had a dream, a dream that was both sad and happy, vague and absurd.When I woke up from the cold, I could hardly remember the specific content of the dream, but I remembered a feeling, like the smell of sunshine, which was the smell of Serena Williams, and it was something I couldn't quit.