Bear Diary

Tuesday, December 2010, 8

After several rounds of heavy rainfall, the weather in Sichuan has a hint of autumnal coolness.

Xiaotao came back the day before yesterday, and didn't ask much. He probably read my diary and knew everything. This kid always likes to visit my blog when he's wandering around the Internet, and he doesn't like to leave a message. I have despised him many times.Although I feel that I have almost come out, it is inevitable that sometimes I feel hurt. In the past two days, he tried to comfort me by insinuating.

I was chatting with my friend today, and it happened to be July and a half. My friend said he was very timid, and would be scared when he was alone at home at night. I laughed that he didn’t look like a man.But when I went back to the house alone, I also felt a kind of loneliness in my heart, but it had nothing to do with ghosts and gods.

All stories have their endings, and it's impossible to treat it as if it didn't happen just because I procrastinated.Today's cold and taboo night is used to write a not-so-good ending, but it feels a bit appropriate to the occasion, haha.

On August 8th, I will probably have a hard time forgetting this day and what happened on this day for a long time.I went to my aunt's company before noon on Wednesday. The lady at the front desk still remembered me and chatted with me a few words.I was very nervous. At that time, I had only one thought in my mind, that I must talk to Serena calmly and calmly. He scolded me and beat me, and I asked him to give me another chance.Thinking of this, I actually seem to be able to understand the feeling of Glasses Wu at the beginning.But I will never be as persistent as he is.

While I was building up in my heart, a little MM who looked like a secretary came to call me, saying that the boss invited me to the office.I was very surprised, and immediately realized that my aunt probably didn't want me to drag Serena anymore, so I secretly made up my mind that no matter what she said, I would not be shaken.

When I entered the office, my aunt was writing something, and told me to sit without raising my head. I sat on the sofa beside her, and she was busy for a while before she raised her eyes to look at me.The aunt handed the document to the secretary, and when the secretary went out, she got up and said to me, "You are here to see Serena, right? He and Nana went shopping, wait for Ha'er, he should be back soon." The aunt is very kind Come and sit next to me, this attitude surprised me. "Xiao Chen, Serena told me you broke up, is it true?"

"Auntie...it's all my fault...I'm here to talk to Serena..."

My aunt interrupted me and started another topic on her own. "Xiao Chen, do you know the main products of our company?"

"Yeah." Auntie's company makes high-end hardware.

"Well, in the past, our company's products were mainly exported to Europe, and there was a branch in the UK, which was always managed by Serena's grandparents." The aunt suddenly told me about family affairs, which made me feel at a loss.The aunt continued: "Recently, the old man is not in good health. He just came back from the hospital yesterday, and he is a bit powerless to manage the company. In addition to the financial turmoil in the past two years, the export business has become more and more difficult to do, so now the two companies are basically They are all separated." I still didn't understand what she meant. "I don't feel at ease if foreign companies are always handed over to outsiders, so I was thinking..." The softer my aunt's face became, the worse I felt in my heart. "I'm just thinking about letting the domestic company take care of it as usual. I'll go to the UK to take care of the company there, and then hand it over to Serena directly."

It turns out that this is the purpose!Auntie is telling me not to hinder Serena's future!

"Xiao Chen, for Serena's future, for the two of you, can you let go?" Auntie held my hand and looked into my eyes, begging and pressing.

Auntie is indeed a person who has experienced countless experiences in the mall, and she chose the method that can shake me the most.I gently let go of her hand, stood up, and kept a certain distance from her. "Auntie, I want to meet Serena and talk to him face to face."

The aunt was not angry either, and said softly, "Then you sit and wait." After speaking, she returned to the desk and got busy.In order to avoid embarrassment, I walked to the window and stopped making eye contact with my aunt.Suddenly, the aunt added: "Do you know? Serena has agreed to go to England with me and Nana. When we get there, we will study for an MBA first. After finishing our graduation thesis, we will marry Nana."

It's not enough to describe these words with a thunderclap. I turned around and found that my aunt didn't even lift her head.Auntie doesn't need to tell such a lie that will be exposed immediately, but how can I believe that Serena will make such a decision?My mind was buzzing all of a sudden.

At this moment, the voices of a man and a woman talking and laughing outside approached, and I persisted until they opened the door before I believed it was Serena and Nana.The two of them were wearing couple outfits, holding hands and smiling happily.Nana's face was flushed, and she looked very cute. This is a rare look for her who always makes me feel a little pale.Serena smiled happily at first, but noticed that I immediately put away my smile and let go of my hand with Nana.

Seeing Nanaxiang dripping with sweat, the aunt was very distressed. She quickly got up and pulled her to sit on the sofa, and asked her if she was tired and thirsty. That posture was closer than her own daughter. I don’t know if this is true It was done on purpose for me to see.It doesn't matter, I just came here to make it clear to Serena.I approached Serena who was still staying at the door, and when I was two meters away from him, I took another step closer, but Serena took a step back.My heart sank again.

"Why are you here?" Serena asked.

"I just want to clarify what happened that day. I don't want to evade Sazi. I know it's all my fault, but I want you to know my true thoughts." I didn't care who it was in front of.

Serena frowned, then turned away from me. "Needless to say, I know everything. You'd better go." As he said this, he wanted to pass me and go to Nana's side.

I took his hand. "Listen to me, please!" I can't think of another person who could make me say that.

I mustered up the courage not to avoid suspicion, but my aunt couldn't help it, maybe because she was afraid that Nana would know our relationship.She pulled Nana up: "Nana, let's go drink some water and eat something, and let the two of them chat alone." Nana hummed, didn't ask any more questions, and was pulled out with a puzzled expression.

"What did you say, I heard it." Serena withdrew her hand and turned her body to me.

"What happened that day was like this..." I recounted everything that happened that day in detail, for fear that I might miss something, let alone add more details, for fear that Serena might misunderstand.Serena was silent throughout the whole process, without saying a word. "That's how things are. I have nothing to do with Xiao Jiang Sazi, and there will be no Sazi in the future. You believe me! I don't care if Sazi is better. For me, you are the best!" Speaking of excitement I approached Serena again. This time, although he turned his back to me, he didn't retreat. I seemed to see the dawn of hope, and couldn't help hugging him.

Serena always turned his back to me, and I couldn't see his appearance, so I couldn't deduce his inner thoughts.For a couple of seconds, I felt like Serena would turn around with a mixed face of sadness and joy, scold me a few words, punch me twice, and then warn me that there must be no next time.But two seconds was too short, too short for me to wake up by myself, so Serena pushed me awake cruelly.He didn't push too hard, but I staggered. "Are you finished? Let's go."

I can't imagine that this unfeeling person in front of me is really the simple, straightforward, kind-hearted Serena who I love, the Serena who would turn red in order to become an orphan..." Can you really forgive me just once?"

"I..." Serena leaned on the desk and turned to look at me. "My mother should have told you just now that I have agreed to go to England with them. So, let's forget about it. I forgot about that incident that day. If it doesn't exist, I will not forgive you." Serena bowed her head and didn't look at me.

Is this still my Serena? "Could it be that you don't want our relationship just to go to study abroad and to inherit the British company?"

I tried my best to see Serena clearly, but he kept his head down.After centuries of silence, he slowly raised his head and met my eyes.Those are a pair of firm eyes, eyes that I can't find a trace of pity even with my blurred vision.Then came a cold word without any looseness: "Yes!"

This word is like a heavy hammer, more like ten thousand sharp swords, it cut me to pieces, leaving no skin in my body.Does everything make no sense?Are the feelings of the past year, the intimacy of those lingering times so vulnerable?

"I don't believe you are such a person..." I felt tightness and pain in my chest. This is not the so-called mental heartache of hypocrisy at all, but a real physical reaction.It's like the blood in the body is concentrated in the atrium and never wants to disperse. It's hot and burns like pain.I suddenly became very dizzy. I don’t know if it was due to brain ischemia. It was very difficult to even finish a complete sentence. I took two steps back to lean against the wall so as not to fall. Action, but ultimately no skin touch.

Is that really it?I've been asking myself that question since I slammed the door out of the office.Nana seems to be calling me, and Brother Zhang seems to be calling too, but I can't hear them at all, I just want to get out of here quickly.

After my parents divorced, I never cried in front of my father, because I swore that I would never let anyone who hurt me see my tears.