Bear Diary

Monday, August 2010, 6

About my relationship with my dad... I get a headache when I mention this.

I only said before that because of his romantic account, my mother separated from him. At that time, I was underage, and the court awarded me to him, so my surname is still Chen.Since then, I have never been able to forgive him for his betrayal of the family, so the relationship between father and son has always been bad.But the conflict between us is not tit-for-tat, but the kind of indifference like passers-by.During that time, it was common for me to stay out all night, and there were fights, messing around with my buddies, etc., anyway, I would do whatever I could to anger him.

And he would always drive around the world looking for me, to help settle the mess I made.Of course, at the beginning he would beat me up angrily, and I just let him beat me up, neither resisting nor hiding, and later he stopped beating me.As I matured, I gradually stopped doing these childish things.

In all fairness, if you put aside the family and just look at what he did to me, he should be considered a good father.Maybe he's just an unfit man, that's how I think now.But our relationship should be like this for the rest of our lives, right?

As for the relationship between him and his mother now, it is no longer as incompatible as it was back then. Occasionally, they can sit together and have a meal calmly, but most of it is because of me.I asked my mother how I feel about my father now, do you still hate him?My mother said that she didn't know, so she didn't hate him, but she still couldn't completely treat him as an ordinary person.

After graduating from university, I stubbornly refused to work as a deputy in my father's company, but chose the current advertising company to start from the bottom.Although he didn't say anything, I know that he has been secretly helping me with his connections.In the past two years, he didn’t say it clearly, but in the past year or so, he didn’t know whether it was because he was over 50 and felt old, or for some reason, he asked me several times to go back to the company to help him.I was either pretending to be stupid or prevaricating. There was always something wrong with me, and I didn't know why.

Dad often flies back and forth at home and abroad, but as long as he returns to Chengdu, he will definitely ask me to go back for dinner, and if he stays for a long time, he will ask me to go back to live with him for a few days.In the past two years, I have tried my best to follow his wishes.This time he came back, I went back to live for two days on weekends.

When I entered the door, my father was talking about something with a 40-year-old black man with a short beard and a short beard. Only after my father introduced me did I realize that he was the boss of a very famous company in the industry.When I met my dad recently, he would always introduce such a person to me, and then it would be like a business dinner. Usually, after staying for less than a day, he would fly off to take care of his business again. The time we spend alone is actually very little. And less.

The last time I came back here was around the Ching Ming Festival. At that time, I was having a hot fight with Serena, and I was busy just getting promoted. I stayed here for less than 48 hours and had three meals with my dad. Includes one breakfast.This time I thought it would be no different from the past, but on Sunday my dad suddenly said that he hadn’t visited this city for a long time and asked me to go out for a walk with him.

I have lived for almost 26 years, and this is the first time I heard my father make such a request.Although I can't say that I was in a state of panic, I was still in a state of turmoil and felt that something must be wrong.

Dad asked me some very trivial things along the way, such as what to eat in the morning, how is the company environment, how do you get along with people... The questions made me feel more and more guilty, and I was doing all kinds of psychological construction in my heart.In the end, there was nothing special. I thought it was because my mother had blown the wind and asked him to ask my girlfriend, but he didn't ask.

At noon, the two of us were eating fast food on the side of the street, and my father asked me how Xiao Jiang and I met inexplicably.Of course I answered according to the facts, saying that when Uncle Jiang passed away, it was the first time we met in the hospital.Dad asked if we often play together, I said yes, and then told about Xiao Jiang helping my mother contact the driving school, saying that I think Xiao Jiang is very good.

Dad didn't speak for a long time, and it took a while before he said, "You should play less with him in the future, and be more busy with serious business."

I could hear something in Dad's words, but I still didn't understand. "Why?" I remembered that my father called me twice and asked me what I was doing. I was always with Xiao Jiang.

"There's no need to slander, Mo Chengtian messes around with these useless people."

Dad has always been commanding me, and it is much better now, but I still get angry. "Who are useful people? Mr. Li? Mr. Wang? My values ​​are not as 'mature' as yours. Isn't Uncle Jiang your good friend? He's only gone for a long time, so you don't recognize him anymore?"

In the past two years, I have rarely contradicted him like this, and he has never said such unreasonable things.From what I know about him, if I contradict him like this, he will definitely yell at me, but this time he was a little surprised at first, but he didn't seem angry. "I'm doing it for your own good." After he said this, he didn't bring up the topic again. It was so weird that I couldn't ask any more questions.It seems that for some reason, Xiao Jiang has a bad impression on Dad.

Watching football and drinking beer with my dad on Sunday night, for a moment, I thought that the ideal father-son relationship is like this?Well, in reality it is far from that simple.