wild cranberries

The exam starts half an hour in advance, and the papers are collected half an hour in advance.After cleaning the blackboard, the old class threw the eraser and turned around to support the podium: "Have a short class meeting, so as not to waste everyone's time, let's talk about small things."

The lights of all grades in the third year of high school are bright yellow, and a path points to June.Zhao Jin piled a lot of teachers and assistants on You Kaifeng's seat again, and the fart was too big to fit his arms. You Kaifeng didn't bother to argue with him at all, so he just took the pen and changed to Li Yuan's seat .In a stage test, five pieces of manuscript paper were wasted, and a few questions were not written.He pinched down the root of the mountain and looked at Peng Xiaoman, and saw that he breathed in and put down his pen, and he was looking up at the old class on the podium, obviously tired and persistent.

Taking advantage of unpreparedness, You Kaifeng checked his phone, went to the school post bar, and found that the post had been deleted.Like a cannon that has been fired for a hundred times, the red-hot skin is swept away, and there is a faint smell of gunpowder smoke.

"I think some people are not in the state of senior year at all." The old class pointed, but said intimidatingly: "Do you feel it?"

The podium was quiet.Leaning on the nap, quietly tucking in the teaching assistants into the bag, rushing homework, answering the answers, turning the pen to meditate, high school students.

"I think our class can post the countdown to the college entrance examination tomorrow, let's make it earlier, Xu Ming, you are in charge of this matter." The old class fingered the board, gesturing to the size of a washbasin: "Make the post bigger, so you can see it. "

There was a half-smile under his head, and a burst of snorting.

The old class is also happy: "What are you laughing at? Don't want to face it? You have to face it if you don't want to face it. This is called national conditions."

Gou Zhong Qi passed Zhou Yiqing to close the window, as if he was afraid that someone would hear him.Old Ban caught a glimpse and said, "Close the window, I didn't say anything bad about the old Communist."

Gou Zhongqi had an innocent face, and there was a lot of laughter underneath.

"Honestly speaking, are you panicking?" The old class added more clearly: "Is there any anxiety that you feel that there is a gap between you and each other now? You feel, ouch, why is he so powerful and I am so good, oh, why are you with him? College entrance examination, I’m sure cannon fodder, I can’t do it, I’m sure I’m not as good as him in the future?”

Lu Qingyuan patted his legs, curled his hands around his mouth, and shouted to the podium: "Yes!", the front row all turned their heads, and Su Qi next to him put away his water glass and glanced at him, laughing out loud again.

"But this situation is different, you can adjust it yourself, this is not the point that my small class will tell you." The old class raised his hand.

"Hey." You Kaifeng pressed in a low voice, "I'm just kidding you."

"Who is speaking?"

You Kaifeng cupped his hands and bowed, apologizing and laughing.

"Today, I hope everyone can remember Liang Xiaosheng's words. The purpose of reading, I am afraid you will not remember me. I will write on the blackboard." The other half is at the fingertips, touching the old blackboard with imprints, and the pen is wandering: culture is the cultivation rooted in the heart; self-consciousness without reminders; freedom based on constraints; kindness for the sake of others.

A beautiful line of characters, a beautiful sentence.

There is something to point to but nothing to point to, the feeling of being loved by the world that I once had, lingers on the tips of Peng Xiaoman's fingers like lingering affection.

"Use your brain to remember, good words, proverbs." The old class threw down the chalk and knocked on the blackboard: "You can use the big composition for the college entrance examination. What do you mean? Reading is culture, and culture can be understood as humanities. Humanities are rooted in inner beauty. Self-cultivation, a kindness that can consider others. For fairness, for justice, for seeing things that are different from you, not to criticize without authorization, seeing things that you are not sure, making judgments and restraints in ways that you agree with. Who said anything about this? Mueller, did Mr. Zhou say that?"

Speechless.

"Individual liberty must be liberty not to infringe upon the liberty of others."

As if by coincidence, You Kaifeng couldn't recover from Lao Ban's words, so he heard the phone vibrate.Bowing his head to open the lock, Marco's short message, short and polite, clear and clear, destined by chance, miraculously made You Kaifeng realize the so-called freedom.

"I'm sorry, the investigation is very strict this year, and the relationship is difficult to get through. I apologize to you. You are excellent, and the money has been refunded."

At the end of evening self-study, the bell is ringing, and international practice reminds everyone to stay safe and disband on the spot.The old class kept Peng Xiaoman, it's no big deal, he opened up, chatted, trying to get his heart out.Below the dome of sky is the river, which is soaked by the wind, and the moon is like a silver basin, sprinkling phosphorous powder on the water surface.I don’t know where to buy the old electric car. The quality of the obsession, it’s often out of battery, and the chest patted my chest a second ago, saying that it’s absolutely fine to take you to the door. Slimy made a coquettish hum, and withered.Lao Ban twisted the booster throttle twice, and the red light beeped and flashed, like Ultraman Tiga.

"Okay, ghost quality." The old class stepped off the eDonkey, shamelessly, without asking Peng Xiaoman if he was happy: "Come on for a walk with me. You have a good physical exercise, and you will never accept your old age!"

Opened his mouth and made a single bet, Peng Xiaoman followed behind and turned to the beginning: "Pfft."

"Laughing?" Lao Ban turned his head and glanced at him.

"No."

"Smile, you students are at this age, you can laugh a lot. Why don't people say it's the blooming season?" Lao Ban pushed the cart and said, his face turned bright and dark when he turned his head.His extended meaning is almost: After entering the society, it will be difficult to laugh more.

"Ah."

The phosphorous powder of Xingyue is the icing that falls to the ground.It's like thin snow, stepping on it for fear of leaving marks.With such a beautiful view, walking side by side with Li Yuan is such a beautiful and delicious taste.As a result, walking with the math teacher made me almost drunk.Peng Xiaoman held back his words.

"Xiao Man, to be honest, do you think I am a particularly hypocritical old man, the teacher in charge today?"

Peng Xiaoman raised his eyebrows, thinking that if I say that I am a little bit of one thing, that would be called my mind.He was dealt with in a roundabout way like a dog: "I think what you do and say is what you should be in your position, and these things are not what we think we can do."

The old class is fine, and he said "ouch" after listening to it, and even honked the horn to help his mood, breaking the silence on the evening bridge: "Is the teacher holding a meeting?"

Peng Xiaoman smiled bitterly at someone who was seen through, and whoever loves your mother nodded and admitted: "A little bit."

"Tell me about your thoughts. You didn't say what you think today."

idea.Peng Xiaoman has too many ideas, childish and mature, tempered and tempered, rational and impulsive, pessimistic and positive, red and green, cool and hot.It is a bag full of colorful things. Asking such a question is like being asked rhetorically, forced to sit down on the ground, find the beginning and end among the densely packed bits and pieces, and draw out the continuous and clear line.Peng Xiaoman is not yet at the age to have such ability, shaking his head, he can't do it, he just picked a warm one, he embraced it firmly, and said: "I just... like each other, but then I'm very confused, it feels... difficult."

"Difficult." Walking into the shadow of camphor trees on Mingxi Road, I saw night food stalls on both sides full of customers, and the smelly things were like life, with mixed flavors, "Your difficulty, his difficulty, or both of you Tell me about the trouble you talked about, what does it look like?"

"Uh--"

Peng Xiaoman wanted to say: Hey old class, I just pretended to be forced and deep because I didn't know what to say, please don't let me go.

"Can't speak well?"

"...Yes." Peng Xiaoman touched his nose.

"Are you hungry?"

"what?"

"Don't, what? You don't speak Chinese?" The old class turned on the tap and moved the cart to the side of the curb: "Go get a bowl of beef noodles and sit down and talk."

Two bowls of steaming pasta were placed on the table, Peng Xiaoman glanced down, and saw a pinch of coriander and green leaves emitting a "stinky smell".Peng Xiaoman frowned, wanting to say that I reminded me half a step too late, a bowl of fragrant Northwest flavor is good, and the appetite disturbed by this thing is gone.

Think about it, Peng Xiaoman is the one who is spoiled by Li Yuan.When they are hungry and looking for food, wherever they are together, no matter the restaurant stall or the cafeteria, once the relationship is established, Li Yuan will always go ahead and tell Peng Xiaoman what the latter likes and dislikes.Peng Xiaoman always felt that Li Yuan was able to care and considerate himself to this extent, no matter in which era, under any kind of tricky looking down, it was almost a perfect score.But Li Yuan could actually be better.Because Peng Xiaoman had a conflict with coriander, he gradually got used to not eating it, taking the likes and dislikes of his lovers as his likes and dislikes, and made silent compromises in the last quarter.

Peng Xiaoman often felt that he was really satisfied.Because there is a miserable side, but there is never a lot of tender love, and it is all around.Looking up, Lao Ban was smoking an unnamed cigarette, split the sanitary chopsticks, and handed them over after twisting off the shavings.Also one of a kind.

"When Li Yuan was in her freshman year of high school, her overall state was actually quite different from what she is now." The old class poured vinegar into the bowl, and Peng Xiaoman wiped his eyes to compare the amount, before going down half the bottle, "He will be very calm. Create a separation with you. Repel you from being close to me, you care about me, you value me, and you want to understand me. I took this class at the time, and I made him the deputy monitor at the first class meeting. I can hear it It smells how unwilling this kid is to do it, but his personality is that I am not willing to do it, but since I have done it, I will never make trouble at work."

Peng Xiaoman fiddled with the coriander, took a sip of the soup with a spoon, and through the curtain of water vapor in front of him, everything was gentle. "It's a huge part of his character, I think it's a strength."

"I think this is the lack of personality that everyone has more or less, and it belongs to him." With the chopsticks on his face, he lifted it up and hung it in mid-air, and let it dry. I'm the class teacher, and I think you guys have a little bit of it, so it's very clear."

Peng Xiaoman couldn't help asking, half-jokingly: "Old Ban, what do you think of me?"

"What do you think?" came a rhetorical question.

"It's... a huge loss."

The old class was so happy: "That's a sickness in my heart."

Are you sick?Peng Xiaoman could hardly conclude immediately.

"Many problems that you young people think are heavy, but to people of our age, they are humming and coquettish. Our era experience and social mission are different. This difference is called the generation gap. I can't say that you are too young to take responsibility. You can’t tell me that the head teacher is pedantic and not enlightened. There’s nothing wrong with this thing.” The old class took a big bite of the half-cold noodles, and half the bowl was gone. “Now I’m trying to understand you, I did it, I I don’t feel pain, and I can accept it, and I didn’t do it overnight.”

This is what Peng Xiaoman wanted to ask all night.

"Why don't you..." is the best way to say it.

"Why don't you get angry, don't beard and stare and say you two are messing around, that you are bad guys, tell the parents and tell the school to separate the two of you immediately?"

Peng Xiaoman nodded and said yes, and smiled after speaking, and couldn't help it for some reason.

"First of all, I am the class teacher. I am responsible for the students, not the school. I have my own understanding of you. Telling the school to tell the parents is incompetent, and that is called a one-size-fits-all failure of education." The old class drank Swallowing soup, and looking up again, Peng Xiaoman realized that even his eyebrows were slightly gray, "Second, because I did what I said more than ten years ago, and I found out that things were not as I thought. I learned from the painful experience , and learned from it.”

Peng Xiaoman was stunned, feeling that the old class was telling very unusual things in a very plain tone.

"More than ten years ago, I thought you were the cancer of the times. As a teacher, I am obliged to eliminate it. More than ten years later, the environment has changed and the mentality has also changed. I think you are the pioneers of the times." I don’t focus on the word pioneer, I just think it’s an extremely common and appropriate description, “What is a pioneer? A person who takes the lead, or a group, you think you are afraid of being noticed, I think you can promote the liberation of social consciousness. You can’t help but turn extraordinary into ordinary, but in fact, it’s also a kind of mission.”

For a long time later, the people and things around Peng Xiaoman and Li Yuan have been turned over and over again, and they have to cross ditches and climb mountains and mountains in close contact with life. That's all.To put it bluntly, it's like the old Han Tou's popular saying - I've heard a lot of truths, but I still can't live a good life.These words of the old class, in fact, it didn't take long for the smoke to dissipate, and the meaning was drawn into the heart, but the words and sentences were not clear enough.

But the words "you are the pioneers of the times" have become a treasure that Peng Xiaoman has harvested and valued all his life.

Since, it's too heavy, I'm a high school student, and so is he, we don't want to be pioneers.If you abandon the routine, you will naturally be pushed into this position under scrutiny from all sides, and crying is useless.Furthermore, this is really a kind of injustice, that is, this is the glory of me and him alone.

There is a good car parked in front of the noodle shop, it is a black American large-displacement car with bright tiles.The noodle eater in the restaurant rolled his eyes, put down his chopsticks and turned his head to look around. He saw a handsome man getting out of the car.Stepping into the restaurant, he looked annoyed.Hearing the sound, Peng Xiaoman turned his head and saw someone approaching. He sat down next to Lao Ban, scratched his hair and said, "You are really annoying."

Peng Xiaoman was stunned with the spoon in his mouth.

"What are you doing?" Old Ban was much more aggressive than this man, and glared at him with his eyeballs: "It's terrible, you have not eaten your food, and I depend on you to support me, oh, have a straight face, let you drive out to pick me up Kill you all at once?"

"No, it's fine to pick you up." The man couldn't help but laugh, frowning happily: "Don't let me drive the big car to install your electric donkey, okay?! The leather sofa will be damaged if it is scratched too much."

"Oh, oh, my little electric car broke your leather seat, oh, you're so awesome." The old class murmured, and then glared: "Your car is important, and your father is important? I don't retire in my 60s And find time to help you bring a grandson! The car is out of power, and you pick me up and you are still there."

"There is a problem with the battery of your car, can't you change it?! If you don't drive a car at home, you don't have a driver's license?"

"Driving like that is more comfortable than riding an electric car?! You just have to make a fool of yourself!" The old class was so disgusted, "Hey, go, go, go, I won't call you next time! I'll let Xiao Zhao Come pick me up!"

The man propped his chin, turned his head and hummed: "Come on, he is much busier than me as a doctor, he has more operations and the wind will not touch the ground, you will be his Didi driver? Can there be ghosts?" .”

"Hey bah!" The old class raised his eyebrows and scoffed: "Don't you believe it, if Xiao Zhao'er can't come, he has to call someone to arrange for me! Like you? You don't have a heart! Don’t be unconvinced that you are more filial than you and you understand the world! You can’t live without him.”

The man surrendered and nodded in response: "Hey yes yes yes yes yes yes I am convinced, he is your real son, and I am your evil son."

After talking about breaking the merits, the old class also laughed.

On this side, after listening to a cross talk live, Peng Xiaoman hung his chopsticks in the air, not knowing whether to put them in his mouth or not.

"Come on Xiaoman, introduce one. This is my son Ban Yue. Let him drive you home later." Turning his head, he pointed at Peng Xiaoman again: "This is Peng Xiaoman, a child from our class. The one you told your mother about."

The man smiled at Peng Xiaoman, amicable, and he didn't see anything fried: "Are you talking about my dad, the boy who taught father and son for two generations and happened to be his head and tail? Hello, I am his evil son, you Call me Ban Yue, you can call me Brother Yue."

Peng Xiaoman had never heard from Li Yuan before that Laoban's son was a brilliant student from the Laomei Research Institute, smart, rich, complete, top-notch, and so brilliant.

Peng Xiaoman looked at the opposite person rather impolitely.I don't know whether people are sharp or not, anyway, I can't see a little golden light.

After hearing a few words, I still feel that he is a...

Is.

Fuck.

"What's wrong with fooling you? I blame me." The old class touched Peng Xiaoman's left shoulder and laughed: "Xiaoman? You're not scared, are you?"

"I'm not scared, it's just false." Peng Xiaoman put down his chopsticks, straightened his face, and looked at Lao Ban: "I...did I know something, something extraordinary?" Then he blinked and said slowly : "...Yes, is that what I understand?"

The man was taken aback for a moment, then lowered his eyes, turned his head and smiled at Old Ban.

Ban Yue doesn't care at all if others know he's gay, love knows it or not, if my parents agree, who cares about you?Can you give me money to spend?But it was the first time that Ban Yue was forcibly dragged over by his father as a teaching material.Quite false, I feel that his experience of coming out of the closet these years is quite ordinary and fucking, not enough to be a model.What's more, whose life can be used as an example?Holding the direction and looking at the co-driver, looking at this boy named Peng Xiaoman, I feel that he is really young, growing in a shed, and maybe he doesn't even know what life looks like, so how can he open a consultation for him?As soon as you think about it, just chat, step by step, from shallow to deep.

Peng Xiaoman glanced at the two-person photo on Ban Yue's phone, two boys, intimate, smiling, Nordic scenery.

"Handsome? The one next to me." Ban Yue honked his whistle and stepped on the gas pedal.

Peng Xiaoman nodded: "Handsome."

"Do you like that handsome boy?"

The old class smoked a cigarette in the back seat and patted the back of his chair: "Why are you so thick-skinned, kid? That kid is in the third grade of high school, isn't he Xiaoman? Is he the grade one? He is the most handsome in this grade mean?"

"Tsk." Ban Yuete said contemptuously: "You haven't figured out the meaning of this word for a long time. Oh, can you go online?"

Peng Xiaoman smiled: "I really haven't heard that they have chosen, but I think everyone has agreed."

"That's very profitable, really." Ban Yue teased, "It's so rare to fall in love in high school. No matter when you look back on this experience in the future, it will be very beautiful. You only need to think about him. face, will feel happy."

Peng Xiaoman felt that this was the case, but also felt that it should be more than that, so he glanced out the window: "That's right, no points."

"I think your children are so strange now, dad, is there a generation gap between me and them when I'm old?" Ban Yue laughed, turned his head, and looked at the front window again. Heiying, "I feel that no matter what children do now, they like to plan for failure in advance. You have to tell others first, hey, don't expect too much, I may not be able to do it, give it a try." Looking at Peng Xiaoman : "Is it because you want to leave yourself a way out, a step?"

Peng Xiaoman didn't speak, he lowered his head and rubbed his thumb.

The old class opened the window to dust off the soot, and the noise suddenly increased, "Children's mental quality is generally not good nowadays. It is different from our era. They were very numb at that time. Now they are afraid of losing. They just think about it before taking a step. See the result. It's not that good."

"It's not that the psychological quality is not good, how should I put it...the information channels are overdeveloped, there are too many things to see, and the whole people are precocious, so they naturally complicate things. Dad, you said they want to see the results, that's right, I Why can't I think about it when I do something for the result?" Ban Yue said to himself: "Jiaqi and I were worried about gains and losses back then, who hasn't thought about overturning the hurdles in one fell swoop? After all the troubles, he In Australia, I was in Laomei, and in the end, I still smashed each other's hands."

Old Ban squinted his eyes against the wind, sipped his cigarette, and laughed aloud: "Look at you, you are used to smashing characters. I am Xiao Zhaoer, and I will beat you, as if the two of you are just living together."

"It's about right, partner, anyway, I don't want to partner with anyone except him in this life." Ban Yue rolled his eyes.

After a moment of silence, Peng Xiaoman asked: "Are the two men going together?"

Ban Yue looked at him with a firm and calm tone: "It doesn't matter whether it's male or female, as long as I feel comfortable."

"...Is this so confident?" Peng Xiaoman also looked at him, then at Lao Ban, and smiled with his nose on his tip.

"The confidence is that we both have academic qualifications and talents. When I return to China, the peak of the company can maximize resources. Without me, I have no performance. I have an independent personality and economic independence. I need to cling to and serve anyone who can guide us. The pointing person, the old man sitting behind me, has been successfully influenced by my hard and soft tactics, and now he is also an equal rights advocate. Then I don’t care what they think about the rest, one is that he is not qualified, and the other is With their abilities, they haven't climbed to the same seat as me, and we can't see them."

It's something that awesome people dare to say.Peng Xiaoman finished listening quietly.

"You have to ask about skills. If you don't have skills, if you want to be confident, you must become excellent. If you want to have a long-term relationship, you must be excellent together. It's very simple." Ban Yue turned the direction and drove into the side road, "He and I were also in high school, then college, and then together After going abroad, and until now, it is because we are always making progress together that we can share our voices, and our relationship will always be benign." Ban Yue laughed: "To be honest, don't think I'm telling the truth. If you are with someone and you are going downhill, then the relationship is definitely not good, and sooner or later it will collapse because of profit and loss issues."

"Common excellence." Peng Xiaoman repeated the word.

"The second point in the story is teammate. You and him should have a mutual relationship. You have to be able to join forces with him."

Peng Xiaoman smiled: "Just, join hands to fight monsters?"

"Yes, join hands to fight monsters." Ban Yue nodded happily, thinking that he described it quite cleverly, "Big monsters and small monsters, soldiers come to cover up water and soil, gods block and kill gods and Buddhas block and kill Buddhas."

The old class slapped the front seat again: "Am I the big monster or the little monster you two beat up? Huh?"

"Don't, don't, don't." Ban Yue had a strong desire to survive, so he said, "You are the Patriarch Bodhi. Jiaqi and I respect and love you, and dare not hit you."

"Hey bah!"

Peng Xiaoman turned to the other end and couldn't help laughing, but he couldn't help but make up his mind, and imagined that he and Li Shaoxia would walk the world with swords in the second grade.For example, in "Invincible in the East", Jet Li read it, the heroes of the world are born in my generation, and they will be reminded once they enter the rivers and lakes.While chatting and laughing with Hongtu Domineering, it is unbearable to be drunk in life.Carefree and free, unrestrained, especially beautiful.But the fact is that brain supplements are brain supplements. There is no absolute vacuum environment, and no one has only one trouble, one kind of happiness, and one kind of dilemma.He and Li Yuan were not glued together by just one kind of bright and clean thing.For everything outside the school, the weak ones are like freshmen, just like today, when they are pressed, they must bow their heads.

How nice it is to be able to straighten your back, without fear at all.

But who hasn't bowed down?Don't kneel down.

"A lot of things are not useful when they are said, nor are they realized when they are done. That's how it is. It's very owed, but it is." Sweeping up, "But when you have cultivated to a certain level, you can say that you just need to thank strangers for their appreciation, that's all."

There is an audio-visual store, so there are singing voices on the road, full of ears, full of love and dreams, and the dreams are full of old things.Peng Xiaoman listened all over the discourse music scene, and he could hear one or two melodies, JJ Lin's ancient and early albums in the years when the aesthetics became obsessed.Flying with the wings you gave me, I feel comforted enough, there are no more dark clouds, and we don't shed tears for anyone.

"Xiao Man." Old Ban said, "You are the best at this age."

He also said: "It's shameless to say something strange, you two should be glad that the head teacher is me."

Ban Yue scoffed.

"As long as everyone is on the road, why worry about who will arrive first and who will arrive behind?"

I came home half an hour late, Grandma Xiaoman was awake, and half a pot of soup was still warming in the kitchen.Hearing the sound of the door opening, he put on his clothes and went out of the bedroom, watching Peng Xiaoman put down his schoolbag, sit on the cloth pier by the entrance and lower his head to change his shoes.Hit his ass, and smiled: "I didn't do my homework and left it for the teacher to copy for punishment?"

"Okay, I don't think it's good in your eyes." Peng Xiaoman raised his head, his face flushed with blood, "Thirsty."

"Drink soup?"

Carrying his schoolbag and stepping on his slippers, Peng Xiaoman rattled towards the room, laughing as he walked, "What kind of trick is drinking soup when you're thirsty?"

"Make some tea?"

"Row."

"Drink tea and don't sleep?"

Raise your hand to the arch of your eyebrows and swipe forward, making a gesture: "Learning."

"Oh, pretending." Grandma Xiaoman rolled her eyes first, then smiled, and then slapped him on the back, "Just wait."

Peng Xiaoman threw himself into the bed and rolled over, turned his back and looked out of the window, the dark sky, the thin cloud shadows, and the moonlight everywhere.He felt that he was too much of a mother, so he swallowed, and he must not have cried.