wild cranberries

Holding Ge Xiuyin's organ donation certificate in her hand, Li Yuan squatted in front of a dark public toilet to answer the phone, unruly and chic.

"Are you out of town?" Li Xiaoxing asked on the phone.

"En." Li Yuan responded, and was about to change the topic: "By the way, how is your prenatal check-up going? Didn't the doctor say last time that you should be hospitalized for observation when you reach [-] weeks?"

"Leave this alone." Li Xiaoxing stubbornly did not avoid the topic: "Your dad just agreed to let you run around in your third year of high school? If you mess around, he will mess around too!"

Li Yuan sighed: "Then you still plan to let him handcuff me?"

"So what about your own self-awareness? Do you think it's time for you to be undisciplined?"

I can’t explain it. If you are caught playing with your mobile phone for 5 minutes, your parents will think that you have been playing with your mobile phone all day. The “self-consciousness” of senior high school students is not true or not, but whether they see it Just not.

"The ticket to go home tomorrow morning, with a weekend in between, there is no delay."

"Can I ask what's the matter?"

"I don't really want to talk about it." Li Yuan lowered her head and kicked her feet.

The simple refusal of a few words, purely not wanting to tell others about Peng Xiaoman's family, but also purely protecting him, but it seems that one sentence makes the other party feel alienated and separated.Li Xiaoxing was speechless for a long time, but she was still unavoidably disappointed: "Okay, you don't want to talk about it. But there are many things that you will get into the society later on. If you want to talk about it, your mother may not ask any more questions."

Li Yuan couldn't hold back her joy: "Does this have anything to do with age?"

"Whether it matters or not, you will know later." Li Xiaoxing gave up asking, and breathed out on the other end of the phone, "Today, I want to tell you that my mother will not stay in Qingyi for Chinese New Year this year, so I would like to say hello to you in advance. I also want to ask about your New Year's arrangements."

"Not in Qingyi?" Li Yuan paused.

"My... due date just happens to be New Year's Eve." Li Xiaoxing thought for a while and said, "Your Uncle Ma's cousin works in administration at the Affiliated Hospital of the Linan Provincial Party Committee, so he can arrange for a specialist in obstetrics and gynecology, who specializes in high-risk pregnancy, next week. It may be necessary to see a doctor, it is best to stay in the attached hospital until the day of the expected delivery date."

"That."

Li Yuan didn't do anything about it, the logic of what his mother said was self-consistent, and the decision he made was reasonable, so he could only get back to know.

"Are you having New Year's Eve dinner with your dad at grandma's house this year?"

The mention of "Grandma's House" made Li Yuan shudder, "It probably won't happen this year."

"No?"

"The last time it collapsed, it was about the property rights of the house." Li Yuan pinched the bridge of her nose, "It's all right after the knife was used, but the relationship probably completely collapsed. Grandma this year...should be taken to my aunt's house. "

Li Xiaoxing didn't know what to think about, she was silent for a while, then snorted coldly: "Sooner or later, everyone who is kind is waiting for this day. Mom told you not to interfere, just watch, you see Let's see how far each of their Lin family can make trouble!" The more he said, the more angry he seemed: "Lin Honglinna, don't get involved with any of you in the future! Especially your cousin Xia Qing! She and her mother are the most virtuous! "

Li Yuan frowned and persuaded her: "Just leave it alone, it has nothing to do with you, if it affects your mood, it will affect your current physical condition."

"Then you'll be at home with your dad?"

Li Yuan listened and smiled: "He has been on duty on New Year's Eve for two consecutive years, and this year the ban on fireworks and firecrackers is strict. Do you think he can escape?"

So do you want to celebrate the New Year alone?How about that.Li Yuan heard this meaning in her moment of silence, and wanted to say, there is really no need to take the Chinese New Year so special, it is nothing more than a page that repeats itself in 360 five days, I am usually alone, and the Chinese New Year is one People don't care too much, I really don't care, so don't worry.

I don't want to explain, I feel that I have to sell an independent and strong character so old.

"Then during the Chinese New Year, come to Linan to find me, and I will take you to celebrate the Spring Festival."

"Am I crazy?" Li Yuan really laughed out loud.

"It's okay, my side—"

"I'm too lazy to run around in winter, because Nunu is here."

I'm too lazy to be involved in your current family with people I don't like.

Even though she has just witnessed other people's life and death, and has a deeper understanding of the concept of family affection, Li Yuan still feels that talking to them is tiring and tiring.

Don't know what to do.

"Then go to bed early, pay attention to your body, and tell me if you have any problems."

Li Xiaoxing replied, not only me, you too, I am your mother.

When Peng Xiaoman came out after washing his face, the ends of his hair and temples were wet, his insides were crying into his outsides, his eyes were red and swollen like peaches, he was in a daze, so special.As soon as he opened his mouth, there was a hoarse voice of tobacco and alcohol: "Let's go."

You can definitely sing Adele right now, Li Yuan bites this sentence which is meant to be teasing to death.He wasn't sure what level of endurance Peng Xiaoman had reached in his heart after finally crying out loud for a while, whether it was released and then strengthened; or it was unblocked but became more fragile.There is no way to truly put yourself in the shoes of others, I dare not joke casually, I want to hold him carefully in my hand to protect, care and protect, the pure spirit of the second male lead.

Standing up, brushing the strands of wet hair sticking to his face, touching his forehead and cheeks, he still chose to ask each of them in a gentle and gentle way: "How is it, are you still uncomfortable?"

"It's time to cry." Peng Xiaoman took off the filial cloth on his arm and put it in his pocket, with two sticks of onions stuck in his nose, muffled.

Li Yuan rubbed the back of his head and asked, "Do you want to be alone now, or do you want me to accompany you?"

Peng Xiaoman wanted to raise his eyes to look at him, but his eyelids were swollen to the point where he couldn't move them, so he could only rub his hands vigorously.

"You want to be alone, I'll take you home right now, and I'll go back to the hotel." Li Yuan pulled his hand away, and saw that the waterproof sticker on his thumb was no longer sticky, "If you want me to accompany you , I will always be with you."

The business in the public toilets was pretty good, but Peng Xiaoman didn't answer in time, but there were always people coming in and out in a hurry to release the water, and they were so bored that they trotted and looked back at the two of them frequently.It was too embarrassing.Li Yuan couldn't bear it anymore, took his hand, and slowly pulled him to the weeping willow path beside the moat road.

"Have you figured it out?" Li Yuan tore off the waterproof sticker from his hand, crumpled it up and threw it into a mushroom-shaped trash can by the side of the road. "There is a supermarket next door. I'll go buy a new one for you."

"You stay with me."

Li Yuan clasped his hand tightly: "Okay, stay with you, what do you want to do now?"

"do not know."

"Sit with you?"

"I want to jump into the river."

Li Yuan didn't know how she endured it, not to be shaken to tears by these words.Li Yuan forced herself not to wander and lose tune, and said relaxedly: "That won't work, it's so cold to save you later."

"I'm joking." Peng Xiaoman rubbed the tip of his nose, looked up at the sky, "Can I smoke?"

"Neither."

"Then you take me to drink."

"Yes." Li Yuan smiled embarrassedly.

"No way." Peng Xiaoman glanced at him, "Then I'd better jump into the river."

"Peng Xiaoman." Li Yuan stopped him and hugged him tightly: "I'm not angry or blaming you, but if you know how much I like you and how nervous you are now, you shouldn't repeat this in front of me. talk."

In fact, it is just a kind of unreasonable unreasonable trouble.

Li Yuan's gentleness and willingness to give and take made Peng Xiaoman suddenly regain his senses, calm down and feel guilty.

Peng Xiaoman suddenly hugged Li Yuan tightly and did not let go.

"How about getting a tattoo?"

"Now?"

Tattoo itself has no meaning and needs to be given artificially. Of course, pain is indeed a kind of catharsis.This is the introduction of Mo Yijia's official account, neat and pretentious, and quite mysterious.Moyi has no face, in a corner of the commercial street in Zangshi, it looks like an awesome shop.Turn into the alley and go up to the second floor. There is a wooden sliding door in the style of an izakaya, and there is a colorful neon sign at the door.

The owner of the ink artist has a beard with dirty braids, black framed mirrored carrot pants, tall and fat, and has a casual and unruly style of art.Seeing the visitor, he was taken aback, took off the disposable sanitary gloves on his hand, picked up the soda can at hand and swallowed a big mouthful of Fanta: "Do you have an appointment?"

The walls are covered with design manuscripts, with smooth lines and exquisite composition. Most of them are complicated ukiyo-e style illustrations and artistic totems, and there are also some ink fonts or small and exquisite cute icons.Li Yuan raised her face and looked around, seeing that she had never been here before, she couldn't help but wondered in her heart, "There is no appointment."

"Then," the boss turned his head to one side, and saw that there was another one behind him, "do you have tattoos together or one? Did you have a picture or didn't think about what to get tattooed?"

"It's him." Li Yuan pointed behind her, "Mom's photo."

The photo of my mother, with a crying face, coming and going in the store, the owner of Mo Yijia has witnessed a lot of joys and sorrows over the years, it is a bit like a late-night cafeteria, and it can be seen at a glance.

"Come on, sit down first." He took off his black-framed mirror and stuffed it into his apron, looking like Guo Degang.The boss moved them two plastic stools with padded cushions, "Let's chat before tattooing, you have to figure out your needs first, don't rush to get started, because this thing is easy to regret, and laser cleaning is painful and not clean Woolen cloth."

Peng Xiaoman sat on the chair and didn't answer the call, and raised his hand to block it under his nose; Li Yuan took a tissue from his pocket, unwrapped it, and gave him one.The boss raised his eyebrows, patted his legs and stood up: "Then what, let me pour you a glass of water first, it's quite cold."

Li Yuan reached out to take the paper ball he had wiped and threw it away, but Peng Xiaoman held it in his hand and refused to give it. After turning half a circle, he threw the paper ball into the wastebasket by the door, hollow ball.

"Come on, drink some water." The boss handed each of them a paper cup, and pulled the stool under their buttocks, "Can I have a look at the photo you want to get tattooed on?"

Peng Xiaoman took out his mobile phone, clicked on the screen, and flipped through the photo album. It was a half-length photo of Ge Xiuyin standing at the window door, facing the sun and wearing a shawl.

"Mom?" The boss zoomed in on the photo with two fingers.

"En." Peng Xiaoman nodded.

"Apologize in advance, I'm sorry, let me take the liberty to ask." The boss smiled and compared the screen: "Man, now?"

Li Yuan shook her head, answering for Peng Xiaoman.

The boss understood, and rubbed the whiskers on his chin: "Understood. Let me put it bluntly, in fact, there are quite a lot of you who come to our house in this situation." The boss smiled, "After all, now tattoos The universality of this kind of culture is relatively high, and it has some eternal meanings, right?"

The boss tilted his head, and asked Peng Xiaoman in a considerate tone: "Then where do you plan to get tattooed, have you thought about it?"

Peng Xiaoman glanced at him, the circles of his eyes were still slightly swollen, a little bit embarrassed: "I might just have a brain twitch."

Then the person next to me didn't stop me.

"That's right, I felt so sad all of a sudden, I felt empty, I didn't know what to do and what to do, I kind of wanted to make up for this incident? But now I sit in, I feel pretty stupid, pretty sick, I thought to myself what the hell are I doing, right?"

Peng Xiaoman smiled sideways and nodded.

"It's easy like this." The boss nodded to express his understanding, and paused for two seconds: "My personal suggestion is not to tattoo the images of relatives on your body, especially... in such a situation."

Li Yuan didn't quite understand: "Why?"

"Because images are innate, 80.00% of the information we receive comes from vision, and reading pictures is instinctive and very concrete." The boss talked about something quite professional, "In other words, let you You can see your loved ones who have passed away suddenly all the time, it’s not called commemoration, it’s cruel, people’s heart’s tolerance is limited, and it may collapse because you accidentally glanced at it.”

Neither of them said a word, the boss thought he didn't understand them.

"To put it bluntly, you will regret it to a large extent, and you will not be able to bear it, but because you don't want to be ashamed of your relatives, you will not wash him off. In the end, you will suffer yourself." The boss rolled up his sleeves, revealing half The forearm wrapped around the totem, "People who regret tattoos, partly because the tattoos are too meaningless and tired of looking at them, and partly because they are too meaningful and deep in meaning, which deeply affects their lives."

Peng Xiaoman stared at his toes.

"Actually, there is no need to elevate your own pain. I feel that the unforgettable things are worth cherishing. They are meaningful and meaningless. Really, they will not motivate you. Pain is pain itself, literally. And forgetting is human. In fact, you don’t have to feel guilty about stepping out because of your self-healing instinct, because stepping out doesn’t mean forgetting.”

To come out is to screen out sorrow and remember love.

I didn't say the last sentence, because I think the drama is too much, and it is easy to get offended by young people who like to be cool and think that reality is cold.Older people are actually more able to accept tender things with the word "love" in them, and it is easier to empathize with them.

The boss patted his thigh, "Hey, I'm not driving my own business, I just want to discuss my ideas with you, if you insist on tattooing portraits on your body, of course I have nothing to do with money, I can help you design it very well. "

Li Yuan touched Peng Xiaoman's knee.

Peng Xiaoman: "What about the initials?"

"Reading text is acquired, it is indirect abstraction, and of course you will read different meanings because of changes in your thinking."

"I want to have letters tattooed."

"Okay, where?"

Peng Xiaoman didn't hesitate: "Chest."

It's a lie to say that the brain twitches, and the tattoos cover the scars, Peng Xiaoman has long thought.

As early as the whole year after his operation, when he lowered his head slightly in the shower, he could stare directly at the scar on his chest.It's not very important to be ugly, after all, the scar is on the chest and not on the face, what's more, it's such a constant reminder.Reminder of what?It reminds you that you are sick, your area is not good, you can pay attention to it and pay attention to it, the chest has been opened.The invisible oppression covered his head all the way so silently that he couldn't shake it off with a duster.

Every time I look at it, I suffer: it's ugly, it's terrible.

Li Yuan's touch on the inside was actually a bit unbelievably gentle and considerate, but also very warm, so I let myself accept it happily.For a period of time after being together, lying on the bed and looking at the smallpox, I couldn't help but repeat the body odor.But where is it enough? If we want to separate, wouldn't that touch and caress become an injury that I don't want to mention again?Injuries added to injuries were fatal.

So just cover it up.How to cover it, hey, use a tattoo, it's cool.

Peng Xiaoman still didn't dare to do too many things that were beyond the scope of his parents' tolerance. He could only silently take root in his heart, thinking about growing up, growing up, waiting for me to be independent, waiting for me to fail, I am also an adult.Peng Xiaoman deeply feels that his growth rate is slower than others, and his nature is leisurely, without the momentum to make big strides forward.

In the end, Ge Xiuyin broke up before he could speak to his parents with a smile on his face.

And because of this place.

It's this thing again.

Again, this damn thing may have never been a problem in the whole life, but when the interest comes, it will be a ghost problem that you will get it in minutes.

I don’t know how to relieve this kind of panic of being at a loss, so I have to immediately, immediately, now, cover it with noisy congratulations, cover him with positive connotations, pour him a scoop of hot chicken soup, and write "Today" I'm so sad that I want to die, I can be forgiven for anything out of the ordinary".It's a bit deceptive, but it's better to eat cakes to satisfy one's hunger than nothing, not to mention that the play is for oneself, and it doesn't hinder anyone.

Following his own will, the boss designed a string of English rubbings for Peng Xiaoman to print on his left chest, goonforever.The font style is written in ink, and the first two letters are capitalized, using red dye; the initials of Ge Xiuyin are rubbed on the pulse of the beating pulse of the right wrist, and the day she left is horizontally below.

According to the boss, the more fleshy the tattoo, the more painful it will be, the more it will be relieved, and the more comfortable it will be.From what he said, Li Yuan understood that when people are sad, they are more or less trembling.Applying it to Peng Xiaoman, an alien, is also true.

Li Yuan moved the chair and sat by the bed, looking at Peng Xiaoman who was sitting on his back under the shadowless lamp.The buzzing tattoo machine traced it sharply, turning over the scar on the white background, which inevitably had a cruel meaning.It's a lie that it doesn't hurt, I'm enduring it, because Peng Xiaoman's head is sweating, the corners of his cheeks are trembling, and tears are also flowing down physiologically.

My mind was so distressed that I almost couldn't help stopping it.

The boss lowered his head to color the initials, and tugged at the medical mask covering his mouth and nose: "Are you two a couple?"

Li Yuan didn't answer, but Peng Xiaoman endured the pain and gave the boss a thumbs up.

"I don't discriminate against this." The boss changed a single row of needles, "I'm afraid he will hurt, you can hug and kiss if you want, and I can stably give you beautiful tattoos even if I drop a bomb here."

Kissing or hugging, it's a bit like the delivery room is happy to be a father, which is very strange.

Li Yuan didn't do anything, just stretched out her hand to wipe away his tears.

Li Yuan took the high-speed train at [-]:[-] the next day, and went back to Qingyi alone.

Peng Xiaoman will stay for a while longer.On the one hand, Li Xiaoxing hadn't had his first seven days, and there were still a lot of bits and pieces to be dealt with urgently. The wound in his heart hadn't healed yet, and his erratic thoughts could not be completely closed; on the other hand, Peng Junsong's low-grade fever turned into pneumonia, and he would have to hang up for seven days later. In terms of water, Peng Xiaoman has to take good care of him to be at ease; in terms of three aspects, Grandma Xiaoman plans to take him for another full examination, contact the chief surgeon of that year's operation, and have another reexamination.

For the three reasons, none of Li Yuan could say no to it.And I couldn't even try to persuade him, begging him to say, please cheer up quickly, please come back early.

Li Yuan is very unwilling to ask the other party to bear the pressure and speed up from his own heart of gain and loss.One is because this person is Peng Xiaoman, whom he likes, and more because he hopes that all the changes and choices the two of them make will be "I am willing", not "you ask".

Peng Xiaoman helped Li Yuan check Qingyi's temperature in advance, and it was incredible. It really was a cold snap with rain, and the temperature suddenly dropped by nearly ten degrees in the next three days.Peng Xiaoman found a loose-style pure cashmere sweater from home, and before Li Yuan checked out, he took a taxi to the hotel for him to wear under his coat.

Peng Xiaoman's eye bags are bulging, covered with a layer of black and blue, the eye creases have been swollen, and he looks very haggard.Li Yuan's heart was sour, thinking of him leaving the school of Moyi yesterday, looking at the fresh imprint wrapped in plastic wrap on her wrist, and the string of numbers, she cried silently for a long time again.Let him cry until the middle of the night when the moon was hidden and the stars were sparse, and then sent him back home downstairs, hugged him comfortingly under the tree for a long time, and then watched him rubbing his eyes and going upstairs with a little worry.

In the end, grandma Xiaoman ran down the stairs in a hurry, grabbed her and said a lot of thank you and sorry, saying that I was relieved when he was with you, and that he was too troublesome for you.

It doesn't matter, we are all classmates.

After saying such an official sentence, Li Yuan realized that the time he stayed and the degree of concern for Peng Xiaoman, in the eyes of unknowing bystanders, had already exceeded the scope of the word "classmate". Even the slightest bit more in action may arouse suspicion.

"You put on this wool before you leave." Peng Xiaoman smelled the smell on the collar, it was okay, and it still smells good after a long time in the cabinet, "Qingyi is very cold now, and it's raining, by the way, when you leave Have you brought an umbrella? There is moderate rain over there."

Li Yuan sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him, shaking her head: "I didn't bring it."

"Okay...then I'll go to the supermarket downstairs and buy one for you." While talking, he turned and wanted to go out.

Li Yuan grabbed him, fished him back and hugged him.

Peng Xiaoman was taken aback for a moment, and after realizing it, he hugged him back even harder and kissed him.

No matter how intense the previous kisses were, there was playfulness in them; this time the kisses were still intense, but the atmosphere was tender, and Li Yuan put in more kindness and consideration than usual.I thought it was the reluctance and comfort of the gentle wind and drizzle, but after the kiss, they became irritable, snorted heavily, swallowed, licked and entangled at different angles, and reached into each other's hands involuntarily.Lust is something that exists objectively and has no meaning, so it is difficult to manipulate it.

Li Yuan threw Peng Xiaoman into the bed, turned over and pressed him on top of him, raising the hem of his clothes.It was half naked all of a sudden, and Peng Xiaoman got goosebumps from the cold.He wakes up in an instant, thinking of all the things he has experienced recently, and feels a kind of immoral shame; he sinks in an instant, because Li Yuan is conflicted and reluctant, looking at him with attachment and guilt.With this, Shenzhi can be kicked out of the Three Realms without thinking about anything.

Peng Xiaoman hugged Li Yuan tightly, bit his Adam's apple, and stretched out his hand to pull his pants.

It was originally a rather perplexed and reluctant parting, but a sudden juvenile sex incident made the scene beautiful and slightly hot.There was no lubricating thing for the time being, and Peng Xiaoman refused to let go, so Li Yuan could only push into him slowly and stiffly, forcing both of them to be in pain, hugging each other in pain and moaning softly.She could only turn her head to the side and rely on kissing to relieve it, the kiss made Peng Xiaoman's mouth drip with saliva.

When the muscle tissue relaxes on its own and is no longer so dry that there is no way to advance or retreat, Li Yuan tries to push Peng Xiaoman, gentle and gentle, but still blind and disorganized; only when the unconsciousness reaches deep and touches the key point, she gives him a hand. A little relief from pain.Li Yuan looked down at the handwriting on Peng Xiaoman's chest. The boss of Moyi was truly skilled. No matter how Li Yuan looked at it, it was difficult to see the traces of the original scar.

goonforever, go on forever.Li Yuan kissed him tenderly on the still red leather of his chest, Peng Xiaoman stretched out his hand and gently grabbed Li Yuan's hair, let out an unconscious cry of panic, raised his knee and pressed against his stomach .

Because there was no condom, Li Yuan pulled out the ejaculation, he rubbed his own and Peng Xiaoman's together until they both climaxed, and they collapsed together in a dazed way to breathe.

Li Yuan sat up, put on her shirt, and looked at the time: "It's still early."

Peng Xiaoman hugged Li Yuan's waist from behind, put his face on his back, closed his eyes and took a nap: "Tired."

"I'm going back, I'm afraid you will still cry."

Peng Xiaoman smiled: "I will definitely have to cry."

"Then you can call me." Li Yuan tilted her head, "WeChat videos will be available for late self-study after school."

"Row."

"I'll also send you the homework and review progress, you can read it first."

"Can you spare me for a while?"

"Then you." Li Yuan paused for a long time: "Not long?"

"Are you afraid?"

"I'm afraid."

Peng Xiaoman pinched his stomach through his clothes and kissed his back: "Stupid."

"The answer is not what you asked."

"Anyway, as soon as possible."

"Okay." Don't ask any more questions, just stop.Li Yuan pinched the palm of his hand: "I'll go and twist a damp towel, and you put on your pants first, so you don't catch a cold."

In fact, Xu Ming did not expect that the two messages he notified to Li Yuan casually, coincidentally, the message box popped up, and the screen lit up, and Peng Xiaoman could accidentally catch a glimpse: This document is filled out, printed out, and handed over to the office. The class asks you to go to the official website to study in advance the admissions brochure of Xiali University for recommended students this year.

Peng Xiaoman slowly put on his jeans, put on his belt, and lay on his back on the bed, forming a big character.