wild cranberries

In the next few days, Li Yuan's mood continued to be low.One is that the weather is getting hotter and hotter, and people's slack minds have crushed their fighting spirit. However, the more obvious this loose energy is, the more strict the class teacher will be after seeing it. It is strong", looking more scattered.According to what his old class said, each person brings a mirror to take a good look at himself who is not in a hurry and doesn't know how to work hard. I think the eggplants are more energetic than you when they are hit by frost.

The second is that Wei Yiquan filled in his name on the application form for the robot competition without saying a word, and appointed a deputy team leader to represent Luzhou High School in South China. I have to go too.

The third is Li Xiaoxing, who is pregnant.

Li Yuan remembers that night, he was almost a bit blindfolded. In his eyes, Li Xiaoxing's expression at that time was a bit complacent amidst shyness and embarrassment. The physiological reaction caused by retching made her eyes clouded again. A layer of crystal clear water, lining the two slightly red eyelids.She looked up at Li Yuan but remained silent for a long time, a bit awe-inspiring and a bit fearless.Li Yuan guessed that he should have laughed at that time, she tilted her head and moved her chin, from stunned to unbelievable.After digesting it, he frowned, and devoted himself to disgust.Looking down at the greasy square table, if you can't clean it up for a while, you may reach out and lift it up.

It's like pouring a basin of oil on someone's head, and throwing a zippo, a single spark suddenly ignites a prairie fire.There is sadness and grievance in the resentment, but the sadness and grievance are enough for the daughter's family, and there is nothing more, but there is still a layer of fear hidden in it.What are you afraid of?have no idea.

In fact, Li Xiaoxing was right in choosing to get pregnant, not at all wrong, what's wrong?There is nothing wrong with remarrying and wanting a child from the husband's family, how reasonable and reasonable.Li Yuan also felt that the overwhelming twist in his heart was strange.He really wants to relieve himself of the inexplicable cause and effect of this entanglement and distress, and even wants to find a grand thesis to explain his individual mind, because then, he can tell himself frankly, I am not Jealousy, not being jealous, not being afraid of being given up, not sticking to the love of these children, no.

Li Yuan always felt that he was a cool boy, and he pretended to be okay, and it never mattered.

The cumulative result is that Li Yuan has hung up pictures for a whole day. She was not a standard good student with six clean minds and nothing but eating, drinking, and learning. Now she looks even more confused, which is rare Indifferent; staring at the blackboard occasionally, he would frown and bite the end of the pen and fall into a short moment of contemplation.What I think about is definitely not the questions on the blackboard, but the trivial thoughts that no two people know about.

You Kaifeng was stupid, but he was never a careless person. He had dinner with Li Yuan in the cafeteria and asked him why.

Li Yuan turned her head and asked, "Is it obvious?"

"What nonsense, hey, you don't look in the mirror in the morning, so I won't say anything if you have a pair of eye circles cosmic as a national treasure." You Kaifeng pointed the iron spoon in his hand at Li Yuan's eyes and nose, " You're so outrageous this day, I don't think anyone in a radius of [-] meters dares to approach you, I'll treat you as a brother if I sit at the same table with you. What's wrong, you're broken?"

Li Yuan amused him, and brushed away his rice-stained spoon, "It's more reliable to lose your wallet than to say I'm broken in love."

"Fart, what's wrong with you not being a Daoji but not being able to move your heart?" You Kaifeng was very dissatisfied with the boiled prawns in the cafeteria today. He nodded his head, "Didn't you see that you lost your mind and ordered Lao Ban twice this morning, and Su Qi looked at you like that from behind you."

You Kaifeng's facial features wrinkled, as if his molars had been knocked down after eating sour, and he gasped back with a hiss, "Oh my God, Baisteel can make your fingers crooked, that's called a person who is anxious, to be honest You are the only one in China, Li Yiniao, a young girl holds one at ease and puts it under your nose without raising your eyes, do you know what your name is? Your name is—"

Li Yuan snapped the bowl of boiled shrimp on You Kaifeng's rice plate.

"I'll give you everything."

It really made Li Yuan say that he never thought Su Qi was bad.He never meant to play with her, hang her, or hold her back.In a general sense, Li Yuan believed that the existence of Su Qi was a beautiful and spiritual thing to many boys.The outline is graceful, still holding the pipa, just like the small page of Li Qingzhao's meticulous illustrations in the Chinese textbook.Just from the perspective of appreciation, Su Qi is a delicate and beautiful woman, and there is no need to doubt it.

However, the disadvantage of a vase of flowers is that it has a sense of distance, is fragile, and cannot be played with.When communicating, you need to work hard to grasp the scale of communication, consider the weight of words, or worry about the degree of emotional communication, and think thoroughly about what should and should not be.It seems that there is no way to be unscrupulous, sitting on the ground as if each other is naked, making jokes in a ridiculous way, or silently silent without embarrassment, and watching each other.

There are lessons learned from the past, so Li Yuan is fed up with human feelings that are walking on thin ice, so she is extremely repulsed to start an insecure relationship.Without that bit of desire to get close, Li Yuan is like a middle-aged man with impotence and no morning erection, flickering, refusing, and then ignoring.

Don't break apart the kneading powder to make it clear, it's nothing more than one time after school, what Su Qi said - liking you is my business, I decide when to start and when to end, at most it will be these three years.

Li Yuan couldn't help but ask her: But don't you feel embarrassed when being teased?

Su Qi's answer made Li Yuan more convinced that she is a wonderful girl. She suddenly laughed and said, if I tell you that I enjoy being bound by other people and people I like, you will think that I am Weird or mean?

Li Yuan couldn't think about this question carefully. As a boy, he had to immediately deny it, no.

Su Qi laughed after hearing this, and I'm done telling you, this is a top secret.

So the two guarded a specious thing together, Li Yuan was still holding it, still silent, still doing helpless slight repulsion and resistance after being coaxed.Su Qi is not sure, maybe he is really enjoying it, or maybe he is smoothing out the glitch-like disappointment under the self-deceiving enjoyment.

After such a day of wandering, Li Yuan left the stack of practice papers in the drawer and three copies of "Famous Teacher Lectures" for physics and chemistry students for the first time.I took the bike and rode halfway and thought about it, I was really too lazy to turn around, and my heart sank, thinking that if I didn’t write after a thousand years, I would stop writing, so and so.But before stepping on the pedals on this side, the lively Lei Feng on the other side chased after him through the wind.

"Hey young man!"

Li Yuan was very embarrassed when she was called, she shouldn't be, it's too rude; she should be called, what a fucking second grade.After pondering for a while, he put down his long legs, pointed his toes on the ground, and turned his upper body slightly to the side. Seeing his slender silhouette being gently passed by the light yellow street lights, he licked his mouth and said, "Slow down!" Hurry up, I won't go."

I didn't wait for him today, but Li Yuan saw him leave the self-study and was called by her old class to have tea in the office alone, maybe how long it would take, so she took a step first.The two of them are wondering now, not waiting, not waiting, not waiting, between familiarity and unfamiliarity, between raw and raw.

"Grandpa Kai said you missed your homework!" Peng Xiaoman had sweat on the tip of his nose, clear and thick patches of skin hanging on it, and a layer of delicate, oily water and pink under the skin of his cheeks.The cutin is probably not that good, you can see light blue blood vessels and a few bloodshot like red threads.

He reached into the front basket of the bicycle, raised the test paper in his hand, and rode close. Seeing Li Yuan's expression clearly, he suddenly pressed the front brake, narrowed his eyes and teased contemptuously: "You didn't do it on purpose, did you?"

Li Yuan looked at him and nodded, "Yes, I am such a dirty piece of trash."

"Then I kindly sent you homework and you still look good?" Peng Xiaoman stuffed the paper into his hand, "I don't want to write it to you, I won't expose you." After speaking, he raised his eyebrows and cocked Moist frontal hair with tips, looks shrewd.

"You're stupid." Li Yuan slid the schoolbag to her chest, unzipped the zipper and threw the things in, and smiled while talking, and pouted her nose, "I didn't hang the portrait because of you."

"Have you hung up for a day?"

"Yo."

"I don't have a crush on you." Peng Xiaoman shook his index finger, "Don't have any thoughts."

The starry sky of Qingyi is still beautiful, the dome is blue-purple instead of dark blue in the general sense, as if the sunset glow is not clean enough, mixed with some purple-red paint wash water, not blending, the two are close to each other The ground is floating.The stars seem to be sprinkled in, the rich and powerful kind of safaris are everywhere, PM2.5?nonexistent.

The pity is that the climate is hot and humid, and the evening wind blowing is also warm, as if being licked on the head by a big dog.Li Yuan's and Peng Xiaoman's foreheads and hair were blown into a standard [-]-[-] mark, which was ugly, so no one was ashamed to say anything.

"I think so." Peng Xiaoman rang the bell.

Li Yuan looked at the road ahead and was passing by Yinhe Park on Xianghai Avenue. There were few people and cars, so Li Yuan slowed down and turned her head to look at him. She brushed her hair, "Huh?"

"Why do I feel that your movements of pulling your hair are so pretentious?"

"go away."

"If you want to interrupt me, I'll repeat it." Peng Xiaoman nodded reassuringly, "I think it's useless to think about it when people are unhappy. Even if you really think about it, you'd better tell others. Let others think for you."

Li Yuan narrowed her eyes at him, raised her lips, "Huh?"

"Just..." Peng Xiaoman's eyelids drooped for a moment, and his eyelashes drooped for a moment and then curled up again. It was a beautiful moment, like a bright and rare object at an auction, which was uncovered under the gaze. drapery.Li Yuan felt that he changed the topic too quickly, like a sharp turn on the highway, and couldn't keep up with his old driver's rhythm.

"You know Hegel, right? The one you learned in political books in freshman year of high school."

"A little...impression." Li Yuan shook her head and then nodded, her profile head squeaked in the wind, the faucet was not held securely enough for a moment, and the car body swayed in the evening wind like a drunk, "Hegel It’s all out, philosophical speculation.”

"That's him, he said the emotions of law, morality and religion, and this emotion is also an experience."

"what?"

"Don't be old, you think about my words."

"what?"

"Ouch." Peng Xiaoman took a deep breath, "It means that there are some emotional things and values, which will affect or even control our emotions. In fact, whether it is happy or unhappy, it is related to our hearts. It is related to the concept of good or bad information, what you care about, in fact, many times it does not depend on how it is done, but how you look at it.”

The meaning of Peng Xiaoman's words was suddenly understood in Li Yuan's mind—this kid turned out to be a problem, and he was obviously turning a corner to solve him.But looking at his daily life, I feel that he will not be this kind of person who treats other people's affairs as his own too much.What's more, he himself cried in such embarrassment. The calm and open-mindedness he wanted to convey to Li Yuan in his words was a little lacking in evidence, and it meant stealing an ill-fitting coat.Thinking of this, I felt that he was cute, and a little clumsy and cute, so I stared at each other for a few inexplicable seconds before I couldn't help asking him, teasing: "What level do you pass the political exam?"

"Uh." Peng Xiaoman recalled it for a while, and raised his index finger, "It seems that I got an A in the exam?"

Li Yuan asked in a rather incomprehensible tone: "Then why don't you study literature?"

"Because science is easy to find a job." Peng Xiaoman blinked firmly, "It's also because there is too much writing in liberal arts, and I feel tired."

"It's a pity, or you will be the editor-in-chief of the next edition of Renjiao Political Books."

"..."

The two turned right and rode into Pingzhou Road. The width of the road was reduced by more than half. They bypassed the pansy flower bed at the intersection and entered the non-motorized lane, which was also narrow.Li Yuan is used to looking at the other person when talking, so she will inevitably turn her head frequently. Peng Xiaoman said with all her heart that you are such a handsome guy, don't get bitten by the dog, she stood up and pushed on the pedals, speeding up and paralleling him.

The faucet tilted, and the back of Peng Xiaoman's right hand was firmly on the back of Li Yuan's left hand. The two of them were defenseless, and suddenly they were so painful that their teeth twitched. After an "ah", they grinned and bounced away Shaking his hands away, he gasped.

Peng Xiaoman frowned, expressing that he was extremely sorry, Li Yuan pointed to the ground, motioning for him to kneel down before speaking.Raising his wrist, he saw a lavender-blue diamond-shaped imprint floating on the bones and tendons of his hand. It was about the same size and shape, and the left and right sides were opposite to each other.

"Then according to what you said, what should I do if I'm unhappy, cry?"

Li Yuan was joking, she opened her mouth and breathed hot steam at the mark on her hand.

"Well, it's okay to cry, it's a good way." Peng Xiaoman actually answered seriously, with a smile in his eyes.

Li Yuan's gaze was suddenly severe, but after a while it became soft and wanton, looking at Peng Xiaoman as if he was looking at a child with an immature mind, with a hidden superiority in his eyes that he couldn't even detect, "How could I cry."

"What's wrong with crying?"

Peng Xiaoman's expression was clearer than his, and he asked back, his expression was not so serious, but he also had a calm and calm expression, "Crying makes you feel better, better than being bored."

"There are some things that are not suitable for crying, and I'm afraid you won't understand them if you tell them."

Hearing what he said, Peng Xiaoman still smiled broadly, the kind that Yunpinyuji can infect people, but when he squinted his eyes halfway, he suddenly became a little mocking and contemptuous.

Li Yuan could see clearly.

Occasionally he feels that's it, boys and girls their age, that's it.Like many adults, I always believe that I am the one with a special background. My pain is not understood by others, and I don’t know it personally.In fact, a lot of things are listed one by one and viewed with a magnifying glass.

But I just can't see through it and don't believe it, I don't believe that others can understand it, I don't believe that what others say is right, I don't want to be despised by others, and I am preached in a high-level tone by anyone.Every seventeen or eighteen-year-old is a haughty and vigorous solitary animal, as if competing with each other, thinking that the more painful experiences, the more he impresses others, the more glorious the king of youth, The more you shut up, the more you will not be ignored, the person with deep stories.

Zhujiatang often has the fragrance of small magnolia flowers in summer, but the annoying thing is that there are no street lights, which have all collapsed three years ago, and the social and residential committee has not yet sent anyone to repair it.This kind of thing has a deep and shallow relationship with me. If the gas stove in my house is broken, the resident’s life-threatening serial calls can blow up the gas company’s phone all morning; Come on, who cares who cares.

For some reason, Li Yuan and Peng Xiaoman got stuck in their own private thoughts, and didn't speak much all the way.The entrance of the alley is dark, with dim yellow lights shining through the windows.There are two snack stalls at the intersection, one for wonton dumplings and one for brown sugar ice powder.

Several old men and women moved rattan chairs and sat under the electric poles at the entrance of the alley, with a few small advertisements of genital warts on their heads, facing the west intersection to enjoy the shade.The old man and the old lady didn't know Peng Xiaoman well, and they watched him ride past without blinking, but seeing Li Yuan growing up, she enthusiastically waved her cattail fan to stop him from talking.

Peng Xiaoman looked back and saw that he had pressed the handbrake to stop and put his feet on the ground, bowed his head and gave the old lady a casual smile as a greeting, and said "hey".Li Yuan looked away to look at him, and Peng Xiaoman pointed to the inside of the alley, motioning for him to go first.

"See you."

Li Yuan nodded her head, her mouth moved again, she wanted to speak, but she didn't.

Peng Xiaoman tapped his feet on the ground, and walked toward the depths of the alley with his bicycle echoing. He looked up and saw that the eaves on both sides squeezed the sky into a long and narrow rectangle, and occasionally there were vertical and horizontal hanging ropes and horizontal bars.He regretted in his heart that he had put his attitude up tonight, and he thought about going to preach to others.

Does Li Yuan look like the kind of person who can be drunk with just two or three sentences?It was because I had lost my mind that I had time to talk nonsense to him.

why?

Peng Xiaoman thought back for a moment, and remembered the side face of Li Yuan that he suddenly saw when he entered the classroom after the big break today.He stared out of the window, where the daylight was shining brightly white on the green crown of a stretch of elm outside the window.I don't know what I'm thinking.Or just leave it blank.Eyelids drooped and eyelashes blinked, and the gaze fell back to the desk where the teaching aids were placed in a mess, and the two index fingers overlapped on the desk.

It seemed that just like that, somewhere in my heart suddenly stopped beating like the original premature beat. It wasn't that I thought he was handsome, but that Peng Xiaoman had a flash of belonging and recognition.At that time, he felt that it might be a coincidence that some of their moods could be shared and similar.

This kind of commonality can be described as a once-in-a-thousand-year encounter.

The alley became darker and darker, and suddenly there was a fishy smell mixed with the smell of medicine.Peng Xiaoman couldn't help frowning, and saw the vague silhouette of an e-donkey and a middle-aged man not far in front of him. There were two or three dirty cages and tongs wrapped with green nets on the car. The light fades away.Peng Xiaoman rang the bell and signaled him to get out of the way, but the man seemed to be frightened by him, he said a short "Oh" and moved his feet, and a light yellow ball fell from his hand. The urea snakeskin bag landed at his feet with a muffled sound.

"Fuck it." The man clenched his cigarette holder and spat, and seemed to have a quick look at Peng Xiaoman.

Peng Xiaoman said that he opened his mouth and scolded people when he provoked you. Before he could give this poor guy a big roll of his eyes, he saw the snakeskin bag on the ground wriggling strangely, and suddenly an orange-yellow The thing ran into the alley with a voice of "uh", before Peng Xiaoman had time to tell what it was, the man squatted down and stretched out his hand, clamped the thing firmly, and put it into the open mouth of the snakeskin bag With a rude thrust, it was tightened in circles.

The one who stopped Li Yuan was Grandma Gu on the fifth floor. She was very kind and not very intelligent. When she saw him, she would ask what grade she was in this year, and she would be surprised once she told her—oh, you are so old! I read the second year of junior high school.The old lady raised her head and chatted with him for two or three days, and was talking about Lin Yixiong, when suddenly there was a loud horn of an electric donkey and a bunch of light yellow headlights in the alley.Li Yuan poked her head in response to the sound and took a look, and saw that the eDonkey, which was dirty and splashed with mud, sped out with all the bald men on it, and hurriedly searched for Li Yuan's car.

Li Yuan followed subconsciously and looked over, but didn't see a trick, and then heard a very vigorous and indignant shout in his ear.

"Don't run around!" Peng Xiaoman ran out of the alley with his schoolbag on his back, and pointed at Li Yuan: "Li Yuan chases after that bald head! Your cat is in his hands!"