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There are three narrownesses in philosophy: the narrow reduction of human nature to the emotional life, the narrow reduction of the emotional life to the love life, and the narrow reduction of the love life to the single-valued emotional correspondence with a certain person.

Ruan Xi thought that she should not be like this.He used to have many hobbies, people and things he liked. He felt that this world was so beautiful and full of hope, and he loved this world very much.

But he didn't know what was wrong with him, Xi Yu wasn't the only reason why he was in this situation, but when he was so lonely and miserable, Xi Yu was the only person he could think of.

He thought, this is not good, it's not what Xi Yu wants, he needs to get better.

He didn't even realize that he wanted to get better, but Xi Yu was still thinking about him in the end.

Ruan Xi tried his best to take the medicine on time, but sometimes he would forget how many pills he had taken, and sometimes he would forget whether he had taken it, lorazepam or paroxetine.

After this, he has no tendency to improve.

Diseases like this cannot be cured by drugs, and some drugs can make people worse if they take too much.

Ruan Xi sat on the window sill all day long, aimlessly looking at the gloomy city under the hazy sky.

Nearly midnight, someone set off fireworks on the other side of the Thames River. When the fireworks exploded, they illuminated most of the city, and reflected colorfully on the river, like a beautiful dream.

Ruan Xi suddenly felt empty, as if she had forgotten something.

I took out the cell phone that was thrown in the corner, and found that it had run out of battery because it hadn't been used for many days.Seeing the date of the electronic alarm clock on the table, he remembered that today is his birthday.

He quickly turned on the phone, and after a few minutes, he couldn't wait to turn it on with fear and anticipation.

No messages and no missed calls.

He tossed and turned several times, and finally dropped the phone angrily.

He felt a great panic pressing down on him, making it hard to breathe.In this panic, his brain began to refuse to think, and as if something drove him, he picked up the sleeping pills on the table.

Even counted.

This is probably the only reason he has left.

Eleven.

Ruan Xi felt a sense of revenge when she stuffed the sleeping pill into her mouth.

Birthday and death on the same day, it is also romantic to think about it.

Also brutal enough.

If Xi Yu found out, would he be sad?Would you regret sending yourself here a little bit?

However, before dying, what Ruan Xi first experienced was a burst of cramping pain in his abdomen, which was the closest physical pain he had ever experienced to death, and this kind of pain brought back a trace of his reason.

He suddenly thought of his mother.What is Professor Xu doing now?She said that she would come to see her in the next year, and that if she was good enough to get a scholarship this school year, Xi Yu might also come over. She said that Xi Yu cared about him very much and was motivating him...

Xi Yu...

Xi Yu wouldn't want to see himself like this.

This is stupid, ignorant, and ignorant.

While struggling, he unintentionally broke a glass, picked up a shard with one hand, and swiped it down vigorously with the other hand.

Every time he swiped, he told himself that the pain was caused by his delusional thinking about Xi Yu, and if he didn't think about it, the pain would stop in the future.

But also, Xi Yu and the meaning behind it made Ruan Xi survive so lonely and stubbornly.

In fact, he was a little out of strength, his fingers could not use much force, and he could press the bleeding marks as soon as he exerted force.In the end, his fingers, palms, and forearms were dripping with blood, and he managed to stay awake with the pain and wanted to call an emergency, but the phone was torn apart by him just now.

Ruan Xi was soaked in cold sweat, thinking that she couldn't do this.

The feeling of waiting to die is really not very good.

Fortunately, Ruan Xi was lucky.

The water pipe in the bathroom was broken for a day or two, and the downstairs resident and landlord finally came to find it.

Seeing a bread question, Ruan Xi suddenly felt a little hungry.Under normal circumstances, this feeling is not uncomfortable, and Ruan Xi usually chooses to endure these few hours, and will not be hungry the next day.

This time he wants to eat something.He remembered that Xi Yu had packed a fried small yellow croaker, it was not good to eat fried food at night, Ruan Xi rarely had an appetite, so he decided not to care about it.

When Xi Yu heard the sound, he happened to catch Ruan Xi, a sneaky kitten.

Ruan Xi was squatting by the refrigerator, holding a plate in one hand and a small yellow croaker in the other. He was eating with great relish, and he didn't even notice that Xi Yu had walked behind him.

"Is it tasty?"

Ruan Xi shook his hand, and a plate of small yellow croakers fell to the ground. He shouted at Xi Yu in shock and anger: "What are you doing! You scared me to death!"

Xi Yu wanted to laugh, but he just pursed his lips and looked down at Ruan Xi: "Why don't you eat for dinner?"

Ruan Xigang was so frightened that he couldn't squat steadily, put his hands behind his back, looked up at Xi Yu for a while, and said in a low voice, "You care about me?", and was about to get up to clean up the ground, Xi Yu pulled him up and cleaned up by himself .

After tidying up, she found that Ruan Xi was still standing aside, so she asked, "Aren't you full yet?"

Ruan Xi shook her head: "I don't want to eat."

"Then go wash up and go to bed. Get up at seven tomorrow and follow me to the company."

Ruan Xi protested: "Tomorrow is Saturday!"

Xi Yu ruthlessly rejected him: "Work overtime on Saturday."

Ruan Xi rolled her eyes and went back to the room.

Xi Yu looked at Ruan Xi's back, and the irritability in the middle of the night miraculously calmed down.

At seven o'clock the next morning, Xi Yu really knocked on the door.

Ruan Xi didn't want this pervert to come in through the window again, so she answered a few times impatiently, and was still groaning when she got to the dining table.

He ate a little more for breakfast than when Xi Yu was there last time, and Xi Yu didn't force him anymore, Ruan Xi felt much better.

After get off work in the morning, Xi Yu took him to a new restaurant. The food in the store was quite suitable for Ruan Xi's taste. Xi Yu was satisfied only after seeing that he had eaten a lot.

Back to the company before work time, Xi Yu asked Ruan Xi to go to his lounge to sleep for a while, Ruan Xi said his stomach was bloated, Xi Yu said to rub his stomach, of course he would not refuse.

Ruan Xi was rubbed very comfortably, and it was rare to fall asleep in a state of enjoyment.

Ruan Xi's breathing gradually stabilized, Xi Yu looked at his peaceful and obedient sleeping state, her heart was soft and hot, and some thoughts broke out naturally.

The hand rubbing Ruan Xi's lower abdomen went up, and through the thin chest, he could touch his slow and regular heartbeat, and felt the ups and downs under his carotid artery. The calm Ruan Xi was still full of youth and vitality , which made Xi Yu so addicted that he couldn't extricate himself.Finally, his fingers landed on Ruan Xi's lips, which he had been thinking about for a long time. It was still so soft to the touch. He pressed it lightly, which moved Xi Yu's heart so cutely that he couldn't help but leaned over and kissed those lips.

Since Ruan Xi returned to China, Xi Yu found that his self-control was getting worse and worse. He was obviously not like this before.

Ruan Xi had approached him countless times to show love to him coquettishly, no matter how tempted he was, he could control himself to remain calm; when Ruan Xi leaned on him and kissed him, no matter how hard he could bear it, Xi Yu could tell him the most heartless words to push him away. open him...

After Ruan Xi went abroad, it's not true that Xi Yu hasn't seen him for four years.Most of the stamps on Xi Yu's passport were in the UK, but he looked at Ruan Xi from a distance, and didn't dare to appear in front of him, nor did he dare to stay for a long time, for fear that once Ruan Xi found him, everything he had done before would be in vain .

He used to be so hard-hearted, even if Ruan Xi was only ten meters away from him, he would be cruel enough not to let Ruan Xi see it.

But now, Ruan Xi frowned, Xi Yu was afraid that he had suffered some serious grievance; if Ruan Xi wanted to be with her again, Xi Yu couldn't guarantee that she would not surrender.As time passed, his thoughts on Ruan Xi became more and more profound. Ruan Xi's attraction to Xi Yu in adulthood was even more attractive than when he was young.

Xi Yu rubbed against Ruan Xi's lips for a long time before reluctantly getting up.