He Xuchunqiu

Xu Ran didn't know who had the accident until a week later. The small town they lived in had only a dozen or so streets, and any secrets that were caught in the wind would always become people's gossip in their free time.

"Hey, have you heard? A child in our South Street family committed suicide?"

"Of course I heard about it. It is said that this kid is still a good student."

"It seemed like he committed suicide by cutting his wrists. When he was sent away, he looked like a bloody man. The ambulance rang all the way at night, and it sounded creepy."

"Say it as if you saw it with your own eyes."

"I don't dare to look at it. Anyway, everyone said so. I heard that he is a student of Q or B university."

"It's really a crime. How could you commit suicide with such a bright mind?"

"I don't know about it. It seems that I owed debts outside and was chased and beaten. I couldn't stand it anymore."

"How did I hear that I was tricked into a pyramid scheme..."

You say a word, I say a word.Unintentional people always discuss the tragedies that happened to others with embellishments, in order to make the dull and boring life more dramatic through comparison.

"Xiao Ran, you'd better stop drinking." Auntie Fang, the nanny, can be said to be an old man who has watched Xu Ran grow up, and she can't see him escaping reality and getting rid of pain by getting himself drunk like this.

"Aunt Fang, leave me alone, I'm just a little tired." Xu Ran raised his head and drank another can of beer, his slender fingers tightened slightly, and he pinched the can.

Xu Ran always heard people say that wine can relieve sorrow, but he has already drank so much, why is he still sad.Moreover, the wine was not good at all, and he couldn't understand why some people would be intoxicated in it, and even forget everything.

"I know it's hard for you to break up with Xu Ren, but you can't be so decadent." Aunt Fang squatted down to clean up the scattered beer cans, and Hongdou followed her to help put the beer cans into the trash can.

"I actually regret it now. I'm afraid that someone has really forgotten me in the past seven years." Xu Ran's face was flushed red from alcohol, and he was unconsciously holding his head in regret at the moment, "I'm afraid, I'm afraid... ..."

Aunt Fang simply cleaned up the floor and stood up, looking at Xu Ran who was sitting on the ground with a complicated expression, hesitating whether to tell him what she heard recently.

Aunt Fang is also a bitter person. When she was young, she was forced to divorce her husband because of infertility, and her natal family refused to take her in because of patriarchy.Lonely and helpless, he had to go to the city alone to work hard. He has been in the housekeeping industry for 35 years.She has stayed in Xu's family for a long time, and she has treated Xu Ran as her own child for more than ten years.

Aunt Fang was also the person who grew up with Xu Ran the longest. She could tell when Xu Ran brought someone home for the first time. Xu Ran liked this child.Love Wu Jiwu, she also likes this child named He Xuren.Aunt Fang thought that if these two children were together, she must support them to the end.

But now it seems that things are not going well.

Aunt Fang scratched her knuckles several times with her nails, and finally clenched into fists: "Xiaoran..."

Hearing her voice, Xu Ran raised his head in a daze, his eyes were bloodshot, his handsome face was full of dejection, and there were a lot of blue and white stubbles on his chin, and he looked completely lost the vitality of the past.

Seeing the appearance of the child she cared about, Aunt Fang was heartbroken: "I heard that someone committed suicide last week. From their description, I feel... that child is from someone else."

"Oh." Xu Ran didn't seem to hear her, turned over and fumbled for the unopened beer against the wall.

"Hey——" the can was opened, and the sound of small bubbles exploding made Xu Ran start to process the conversation in his head.

"Wait! What did you say?" Xu Ran casually smashed the can back to the wall, stood up and asked Aunt Fang, "What did you say about Xu Ren!"

"Go to the People's Hospital, it should be Xu Ren." Aunt Fang took half a step back from Xu Ran's fright, and even Hongdou circled around their feet in fear.

who!who!Who is it... Xu Ran ran all the way, his mind was filled with these three words.

The temperature in Jixia in the south is still fierce. When Xu Ran ran to the hospital, he was sweating profusely, and his hair was sticky with sweat, looking like a bad guy in a mess.

"Hello, please go to the registration office and line up first." The nurse on duty at the front desk thought that Xu Ran was another family member of a patient who jumped in line, and politely reminded her habitually.

"No... I don't see a doctor, I'm here to see a doctor." Xu Ran casually wiped off the sweat that slid down his eyelids, and it was hard to hide the anxious look in his eyes.

"Sorry, this is the outpatient department. If you want to visit someone, please go to the inpatient department." The receptionist pointed to the tall building next door.

"I don't know which room he lives in...can you check for me." Xu Ran didn't know who lived in which ward.

The nurse at the front desk showed an institutionalized smile, while looking at the person in front of her, she refused: "Sorry, this is the patient's privacy, and it's not convenient for me to tell you."

"What kind of person is he, what kind of person is he? There are many people who are about the same age as me..." Xu Ran grabbed the wrist of the front desk in desperation, his slovenly appearance and rough movements looked like a murderer.

"Mister, please let go, or I will call the security guard..." The girl at the front desk was quite calm, and she could tell that this young man was just eager to see people.

"Yes... I'm sorry." Xu Ran suddenly let go, nodded and exited the outpatient department.

There are eighteen floors in the inpatient department, and Xu Ran didn't know which room anyone lived in, so he could only search one by one.

Xu Ran walked into this ward, and then apologized again and again to leave; Xu Ran scanned the floor, disappointment gradually cooling down his eagerness to see someone.

"Ding——" The elevator door opened on the No.11 floor, and Xu Ran still shuttled between the various wards.

The beds in the inpatient department of the hospital have always been in short supply, and there are many patients lying on both sides of the corridor, either sleeping or waking up, doing their own thing in the familiar smell of disinfectant.

Xu Ran's footsteps suddenly slowed down, and he had a premonition: He Xu was in the next ward.

Taking two steps, Xu Ran passed several sleeping patients in the corridor, and finally stopped outside the door of this ward.He timidly looked through the small window on the door. There were three hospital beds in the room, and someone was lying on the one closest to the window.

Xu Ran really wanted to push the door and go in, but his hand just hovered on the doorknob for a few seconds and then he put it back to his side. He had never been so scared before, and he didn't even have the courage to turn the handle.

Xu Ran stepped back half a step, and his blurred figure was reflected in the viewing window on the door.He belatedly realized that his image was particularly indecent, turned around and ran into the bathroom as if fleeing.

The faucet was running, and Xu Ran washed his face several times with water in his hands, trying to make himself look clean.

Looking up at himself in the mirror, Xu Ran felt that he was horribly haggard, his cheekbones protruded a lot due to thinness in just a few days, and the beard stubble also divided the gradually changing territory on his face, his eyes were blood red but lifeless.

People are not ghosts or ghosts, Xu Ran pointed at himself in the mirror and sneered in his heart.

Fasten buttons, straighten shirts, comb hair.

Xu Ran walked out of the bathroom with a wry smile, and asked the nurse on duty on this floor to borrow a paper towel to dry her hands carefully before she dared to come to the door of He Xuren's ward again.

Xu Ran raised his hand to knock on the door, but was stopped by the thought in his heart: he must be very tired, I just need to look at him, I can't wake him up.

The door lock slid open quietly, Xu Ran walked around the other two hospital beds, and finally came to someone's bedside.

He Xuren's face is very pale, paler than ever, like a faded old photo that has lost its luster, so fragile that it makes people feel distressed but dare not touch it.

Xu Ran looked at the tightly wrapped wound on He He's hand, and didn't even dare to get close to breathing, so he could only stand aside like a wooden stake to hold his feet.

"Why..." Xu Ran called out his name angrily, but couldn't even finish the last word.

Why did the eyes suddenly disappear?Xu Ran touched the tears in his hands.

The breath also became thicker, Xu Ran could only turn his back to take a big breath, as if he was worried that he would blow away the people in front of him with one breath.

Xu Ran opened his mouth wide, but he didn't dare to make a sound. All the silent hysteria was swallowed into his stomach with tears, and more sour and bitter tears were brewed immediately.

A grown man of 1.9 meters, still cries like a child.

There are countless things in Xu Ran's heart that he wants to say to someone, but at this moment, he doesn't even have the courage to face him who is sleeping.

What a coward I am, Xu Ran thought.

A couple stood outside the door of the ward. They were the parents of He Xuren.He Chengqi looked at the child with his back facing the hospital bed suppressing his crying, and felt a deep sense of guilt and powerlessness in his heart.

He Ma only took one look and then leaned to the side covering her mouth and weeping, making it hard to tell why she was crying again.

Xu Ran cried until he choked up several times, and finally let the tears flow, just staring at the person on the bed intently.Xu Ran stretched out and retracted his hand, as if the action caused by the cassette was replayed.

Xu Ran's hand caressed someone's cheek through the air, and in the end he could only carefully place a farewell kiss on his forehead through the air.

What kind of person is like a fragile and beautiful dream, even through the air, it seems to be desecrating the sleeping person.

"I'm sorry." No one responded to Xu Ran's words.

It's getting late, Xu Ran can't stay too long.

Seeing that Xu Ran was about to go out, the He family's parents quickly hid in the corner of the corridor, and at the same time avoided Xu Ran's fake smile to hide the tears of the man.

A sparrow was parked on the iron railing outside the window of the ward, chirping, looking curiously at the frail young man on the hospital bed, frowning, and a line of tears slipped from the corner of his eyes.