Jonson's Diary

July 2018, 2, sunny

After many days of cloudiness, it finally cleared up.I don't know from which day I hated sunny days, because I couldn't find an excuse to lie at home because of the silt.

Every sunny day, I have to go out to exercise.I got up early, ran around the street a few times and returned home. I was about to enter the door when there were faint voices coming from inside.

Probably there are guests, is it not good for me to go in directly like this?I hesitated outside, and with a heartless heart, I opened the door.

Xue Rin was sitting on the sofa with his back to me, and the unknown guest was sitting on Xue Rin's lap. I was sure he saw me, but he acted as if he didn't. He smiled at me with a clear smile. The face smiles like a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

I stood there in embarrassment, and I wanted to leave.

"Hey, Rin", his tone of voice changed a thousand times without making people feel tired, he stretched out his arms to hug Xue Rin, and buried his head in Xue Rin's shoulder, "Why don't we start from the beginning." Let him act.

"Shall we go back to England together? I will never let go of your hand again."

That means Xue Rin was dumped by him?I'm a little gloating hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaI bit the tip of my tongue to bleed, forcing my sluggish nerves to work, and I staggered away, like an old man whose days are fading away.

Xiaosong was waiting for me at the door wagging his tail, as expected of my good son!I patted its head. Recently, its life has been really good, and it has grown much stronger.

What I feel most guilty about is Xiaosong. I am not a good master, and I have not been able to accompany him often, although I have tried my best to give him the best life.

There were not many students in the morning, so the boss asked me to teach two students regularly, one named Ye Yixian and the other named Kong Boda.

The two of them are extremely talented, and I was always afraid of teaching them badly, and I was very anxious. The boss said: "You don't need to teach, you can just demonstrate how to play, and they will understand."

This time I played the first movement of "Moonlight Sonata". Compared with what I played before, I am very dissatisfied this time. Messy and gloomy is the most rubbish I have played.

The two pointed out that they needed my professor, and the boss agreed.The two of them are just trial listening this time, and the class will start tomorrow. I only need to take four classes in the afternoon. I am really grateful to my boss.

When I went to therapy today, I cried for a long time.I rarely have such obvious emotional displays, and I cry without knowing why.

Tears came down as we talked, I calmly reached out to wipe them off, I didn't feel how sad I was, I really didn't understand myself...

He is a psychotherapist introduced to me by Dr. Cheng. He looks very young, but I heard that he is a doctor.I don't feel anything, I will do whatever he asks me to do.

Later, I talked a lot, and I gradually regarded him as a close friend, and sometimes I would call him when I was emotionally broken to radiate negative energy.

Now that I think about it, I'm really capricious.I may regard him as a friend, or as a life-saving straw, but he is a doctor, and I am just his patient. Calling him actually affects his private life.

It is really not easy to be a doctor. I heard Dr. Cheng say that he should have worked in a certain institution, and he had a prospect and a high salary, because one thing would go to waste.

That was one of his patients, who asked for his contact information as soon as they met, and later developed Dao to call and send him WeChat 24 hours a day.

It seriously affected his life. When he contacted the patient's family members, the family members said: "You are a doctor! What's wrong with him talking to you in a bad mood?"

He changed his phone number and finally got better.Something happened the next day, and the patient sent him a message: If you ignore me, I will die.The patient really committed suicide by jumping off the building, and the family members came to make trouble.

He took a big scapegoat!

Now I have straightened my position, and when I think of this incident, I complain to him: "Life is not easy, let's see if you dare to give your private phone number to others in the future! When I called you last time Does it remind you of the fear of being haunted by a patient?"

He said with a complicated expression: "Qiao Song, you are the most worry-free patient I have ever seen. Let me meet again. My name is Li Weiren, a medical dog who has worked hard."

worry?Maybe!

There may not be many patients like me who actively cooperate with the doctor's treatment, do not hide or cause trouble for the doctor, strive to meet the doctor's requirements, force myself to get up early to eat, and fight against the shadow of death every day, but there are not many patients, I, Just one of the smallest of thousands of people.

When I got home, the guest had left, no, no, no, maybe I was the guest.

"You're back! I'm going to heat up the dishes." My favorite dishes are all on the table.I see that he is more leisurely than me every day. Does the money come from the wind?Is it really okay for the president to be so leisurely?

Xue Lin served me a meal and said, "I just need to make major decisions, and the rest? Are you spending so much money to feed your people?"

It seems to be very reasonable, and it cannot be refuted.

"By the way, what's going on with Actor Chen?"

"That's it, what else can there be?"

He seemed to be in a good mood, so I tentatively asked him if I wanted to move out.

He exploded all of a sudden, scolding his head and face:

"Leave me so eagerly? Are you moving out and eating biscuits? Or are you trying to slit your wrists? Eat arsenic? Drink pesticides? Damn, I won't! It's an order! You can't argue! You can't Trust me a little more? Nothing is more important than you, today's trash was intentional, didn't you see it? Has your IQ been eaten by you?"

"I know."

"You know?" Xue Lin sneered, "Then you still want to move out? Who will you show your calm and self-possessed appearance?"

"Know? Then do you fucking know that I love you so badly?!"

"I know." But I am a man with no future, a dying man.

In the end, I just can't get over my own hurdles, and now I can't move forward side by side with him.He should have a partner who is countless times better than me, perhaps to work hard with him in his career, or to give warmth to his family.

I'm an idiot, an idiot.

I can't give anything, so I must be indifferent and refuse.

Xue Rin covered my eyes with trembling hands, and leaned on my shoulder, I could feel warm tears streaming down my shoulder.He cried, look, I am a person who only makes him uncomfortable and hurts him, why should I be with him?

Xue Lin's lips pressed against my collarbone, opened and closed, but did not make a sound.He didn't say hoarsely until his tears dried up, "Qiao Song, let's live together."

Maybe just as I'm used to him, he's used to my presence.